People Request For Us To Assess Their Intriguing "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
36. AITJ For Being Angry At My Mom For Trying To Wake Up My Fiancee?
“My mum has an odd relationship with my fiancée, ‘Anna.’ At first, my mum strongly disliked Anna for no particular reason. She would always make comments surrounding Anna’s appearance, her job, her family, etc. It got to the point where I had to cut all contact with my mum because her comments were putting a serious strain on our relationship.
Over the past two years, I don’t know what flip switched on inside my mum – but holy cow – all of a sudden she adores Anna. It took Anna and me a bit more time to accept my mum’s sudden change in behavior, but it’s been smooth sailing ever since. She won’t stop gushing about Anna, and she wants to be involved in Anna’s life.
Anna enjoys her company despite their ‘rough start.’
Anna and my mum used to see each other almost every week or every other week. The global crisis is largely at fault for putting a stop to their weekly visits, but they’ve still largely kept in touch. I think my mum really misses Anna and wants to spend time with her at every opportunity she has.
Though Anna likes my mum, I don’t think she’s up for seeing my mum as often as she used to, (I don’t think this is anyone’s fault per se, my mum is a very loud and outgoing person and Anna just needs time to destress + she works a very demanding jobs and would like her weekends to herself.
We’ve communicated this to my mum.)
Anna’s brother passed away almost a week ago. He was in hospital for a few months, but his health was progressively getting better and everyone, especially Anna, thought that he was going to be out of hospital soon, but he just unexpectedly passed. Obviously, Anna is devastated, she hasn’t been sleeping well, or eating well – and on top of all her stress, she has to take care of her brother’s young kids.
She’s exhausted and doesn’t have much time to herself.
My mum, without any warning, came by my house in the afternoon demanding to spend time with Anna. Anna was taking a nap at the time, so I asked my mum to be a little quieter and assured her that Anna would wake up soon and talk to her.
My mum wasn’t satisfied with that answer and started making a lot of noise to try and wake her up. I tried to explain to her that Anna has been extremely busy and she’s been dealing with the death of her brother etc.
My mum refused to hear it and responded with, verbatim, ‘Well it’s not as if his death was ‘unexpected’.’ And many other people have a lot more on their plate so I don’t know why Anna can’t just ‘suck it up.”
I, at this point, was furious with her – so I basically threw her out and called her a ‘heartless witch who has no real sense of empathy.’ This single comment caused my mum to get angrier with Anna and a few more family members to send her a few nasty messages.
I don’t want Anna to bear the brunt of my mistakes, and I’m wondering if that comment maybe went too far.”
35. AITJ For Wanting My Husband's Ex-Wife To Distance Herself From His Family?
“My husband (we will call him Greg) and I have been married for 6 years and together for 8. My husband was previously married to a woman we will call ‘Johanna’ and had 3 children. We have since also had a child of our own. Johanna has worked hard to make sure there isn’t room for me as a co-parent and wants the children to see me as more of a babysitter than a stepmother.
She has also made sure to ruin special moments I’ve attempted to have with the kids.
For example, we bought them skates for Christmas and planned to take them ice skating for the first time the following Saturday. She found out and took Friday off to bring them first. Never once in their lives had she taken them, but she was quick to do so when she realized I wanted to do something special with them.
The biggest problem: Johanna had a hard time letting go of her past with Greg. He did not have an amicable split with her and talked to her only when necessary for the kids. After their divorce, she did not see her place in Greg’s family change, which has continued into our marriage. She would regularly show up at events for his side of the family when I began attending them and could not understand why it would make me comfortable.
The relatives she used to keep at arm’s length suddenly became her closest friends (only after their divorce). In fact, her sister-in-law she couldn’t stand became her ‘sister.’ She suddenly would be at their homes when she knew I would be going.
Greg’s family doesn’t have the heart to send her away or ask her to leave.
I wish they would. I have built genuine relationships with them, but I still feel betrayed when I am eating brownies only to find out she just happened to drop them off at their home before I arrived. She ‘helplessly’ calls his family members (crying) to fix simple things around her house because she doesn’t have a husband anymore.
Greg has tried multiple times to talk to her and told her the impact she was having on our relationship and the relationship I have with his family members. She has flat-out refused to distance herself. I could sympathize at first, but EIGHT YEARS LATER?! I found out tonight that she has invited herself to the next family get-together and I snapped.
My husband will not talk to her about this again and has given up trying to reason with his family. I told him I would never truly be a part of his family if she never went away. I am at the end of my rope and am exhausted dealing with childish behavior. I told him I would no longer attend his family events until she was not a part of them.
Greg says it’s not fair to put him in the middle of this. He doesn’t want to make waves, so I need to accept it and move on. We are at a stalemate.
So AITJ for wanting her out of his family gatherings?
- She is never INVITED to gatherings. She comes over and no one knows what to say
- I have never said they cannot be cordial or friendly with her. They absolutely should
- I have never told them they are not allowed to have her over.”
34. AITJ For Telling The Headmaster About My Daughter's Seating Arrangement Problem?
“I have three children, one teenager and my twins (9m & 9f).
In the twins’ class, their teacher, Mr. E, has a seating plan where my daughter sits at the back with ‘Dan’. We’ve had Dan over for birthday parties and the like and he’s a very bright boy, but he has ADHD and a habit of getting bored quickly and taking this frustration out on others.
Sometimes, in the classroom, Dan will hurt my daughter, or take her things without asking, or throw things from the bins onto her desk to get her attention.
I have spoken to Dan’s parents and know that this behavior is a concern that they are trying to work on, but there has been no progress yet and it makes my daughter reluctant to go to school.
On multiple occasions, I have spoken to Mr. E both in person and via email about moving my daughter as she is struggling, but he’s adamant that it’s a ‘petty quarrel’ that they will soon get over. Mr. E has also accused my daughter of being a ‘bully’ because she refuses to sit with Dan at lunch and once moved seats when he sat beside her because she had had enough of him that day.
Eventually, I had had enough and went to see the headmaster about it. He was very understanding, aware that multiple children had had issues with Dan in the past, and concerned for my daughter’s wellbeing as she is a much smaller child. It is clear he intervened as Dan has been moved to sit closer to the front, leaving my daughter alone at the back.
However, I have since received an email from Mr. E complaining about me ‘going over his head’ and not letting him ‘deal with it in his own time’ as he ‘promised’ to, although I don’t recall such a promise being made. My daughter is also now upset that she has absolutely no one to talk to all day and Dan’s stepfather has told me he thinks that I went too far and should have spoken to him (again).
I had no intention of getting Dan into any trouble here, but I was concerned for my daughter, although I admit that I was getting impatient and may have acted too quickly. AITJ?
Edit: My daughter has nobody to talk to because when Dan was moved, nobody was put in his place. The children sit at tables of two and are only supposed to talk to the person beside them unless they are specifically doing group work. She does have friends who she sees at break and lunch, but during class, she is now alone at the back.”
33. AITJ For Proving To My Parents That I Was Sick?
“I (15f) have only ever been out of school sick 7 times, all of them with obvious symptoms like fever or throwing up. I’ve never faked being sick or called out of school for any other reason, so my parents have no reason to believe I would fake being sick.
On Thursday I woke up feeling horrible: awful headache, my stomach was cramping and I felt nauseous.
I went to tell my parents I didn’t feel well and especially because they were some symptoms of a terrible sickness I didn’t want to go to school that day. My mom took my temperature and when it was mostly normal (99.1 F) she refused to call me out and suggested I would feel better after having some yogurt for breakfast.
I knew if I had the yogurt I would throw up (I don’t deal well with dairy on the best of days) but I decided to eat it both because my mom threatened to make me eat it if I didn’t and because I thought if I threw up they might believe me.
I had a couple of spoonfuls and almost immediately felt them coming back up.
I tried to rush to the bathroom but my dad blocked the hallway because he thought I was faking. I ended up throwing up on the floor right in front of him.
I felt absolutely horrible, and my parents started yelling at me for purposely throwing up on the carpet to prove I was sick. I was grounded to my room for the day, wasn’t allowed to eat anything so I wasn’t ‘tempted to ruin the carpet again,’ and I wasn’t allowed devices except for school until today.
I don’t think that I should have been punished that harshly but they are right, I did throw up so they could see I was sick. I didn’t mean to throw up on the carpet, but AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Being Angry At My Partner's Mom For Taking Our Paycheck From Costco?
“When my partner and I got together he and his mom shared a basic Costco membership and it helped us every now and then when it came to saving up. Now the account was hers and she was the primary.
Fast forward to a year later, my partner and I updated, and I paid from the basic membership to the Executive membership.
That gives you 2% or 5% back after a full year, and it’s nice knowing with all the amount I spend we can get a little something back, especially since we have a baby now and go either once or twice a month. Now I am saying I spent the money because I make the most in the household and regularly pay.
Well, I told my partner to change the address soon because of the history with him and his mom with money. I was worried she was going to do it again with this check and take the chance she got. My partner told his mom what we did and informed her that we wanted to change the address to our address so we could get the check sent to us when it did.
She completely understood and agreed since she had planned to cancel the account anyway.
For me, I wanted to change the account and get a new account with me being the primary, but my partner insisted we just renew his mom’s account since she helped us the year prior with it.
So, on the very next weekend, we had all gone as a family to change the address and get pizza to enjoy at home.
And it made sense to all of us since she only gets 2-8 items at most (20-55 dollars) for her Costco run when I spend about 250-380 a run per month or even sometimes twice a month. Especially when I paid for my partner to get new tires on his car and that was a big drop of money.
Well, if you know Costco and the dates, they send out that check on the first week of February. I asked my partner if he had seen any mail come in for the check and he said he hadn’t but he got a weird feeling and just randomly asked his mom if she had seen the check come to her house and she said no.
Well, last night we made an emergency Costco run for food for baby and diapers, and I remembered about the check and suggested we go to the customer service desk to ask when they will send it out. Well come to find out, the mom had changed the address back to her house and the check had been sent out the first week of February.
My partner has been texting and calling his mom and she has been avoiding him. And now I am livid!
I told my partner that I wanted that money back! All of it, and he said she can’t pay it back and is sure we won’t see it anymore. She knows I work the most while my partner is at home with the baby while he looks for full-time work again and always put in overtime to afford the lifestyle that my little family has, so this is personal to me and it makes me sick to my stomach. My partner is trying to calm me down and trying to tell me that she won’t pay it back, but I am fully prepared to ban her from coming over to the house. AITJ?”
31. WIBTJ If I Don't Want To Stay With My Parents Forever?
“My (25 nb) parents (55 F and 58 M) are very controlling towards me and basically have suspicions of every person I interact with. This is part of why I want to move out, but I also have another reason why I want to do that.
My brother (28 M) is mentally disabled and autistic. He’s prone to anger on a daily basis.
He’s hard for me or anyone else to take care of. He screams, has snuck out of the house sometimes, broken things, he’s broken the locks on doors, breaks in rooms and fridges, and he doesn’t take his medication (which is already less than it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be 2 pills but mom only gives one because she thinks the medication will give him ‘heart issues’).
I’m severely anxious and depressed and every time my parents leave and throw him on me to take care of, I usually blank out and hide in my room the whole time because I’m terrified of angering him. Especially since he’s banged on my door before and has taken my stuff. They expect me to lay out his pill at night, but place his pills in an area where they’re easy for him to get to.
I haven’t found the pill he needs to take.
I’m basically not equipped to take care of him and nobody in my house and outside the house is either. They’re worse than me. My parents threatened to kick him out daily and yelled at him back. A lot of times they mock him too. Sometimes my aunt and uncle and my oldest brother (who lives out of state) have joined in on the mocking.
However, they expect me or my older brother (30 M) to take care of him when they pass. But I know I’m not equipped nor is my oldest brother. If they passed, I’d sell the house and use that money for a group home for them. I’ve argued with my mom before that he NEEDS better help, whether that be putting him on a higher dosage/his proper dose or putting him in a group home.
But every time I bring up the group home she complains about how she doesn’t want to do that, especially since a co-worker’s kid has gotten mistreated at one. I understand, however at the same time I’ve seen reviews of other places that have done well. They also take care of kids worse off than my brother.
Mom used to have an in-home doctor come over, but he hasn’t shown up in months so I’m pretty sure my mom gave up on that too.
But lastly, outside of this, my parents also expect me to take care of them when I’m older and stay with them forever even though all of this is extremely mentally taxing on me and I’m constantly exhausted on a daily basis by the yelling and screaming I hear from my entire family downstairs.
So, I just gotta ask. AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Telling My Dad That Maybe His Company Should Start Thinking How It Treats Its People?
“My (21F) parents are very wealthy. My dad owns a big construction company employing a lot of people and has worked on some huge projects. My mother is a fashion designer and owns two large shops selling the clothes she makes. Not going to say too much but she’s designed dresses for some quite wealthy and well-known people.
We live comfortably and my parents have always done everything they could for me. I’m studying for an accounting degree and will always be grateful to them.
Our lives weren’t always like this, however. We were very poor when I was little, and my parents had a bad lifestyle. Both my parents have been to prison. None of my friends know this but I was actually born in a jail nursery while my mother was held on robbery charges.
The only reason they got to where we are today is because my dad ended up working for a manager who felt sorry for him and trained him in skilled trade work. From that, he was able to go self-employed and then got people working for him. Once he started making money he bought my mother her first shop.
I’ve been seeing this guy, let’s call him ‘James’. He’s 20 and works for my dad’s company as a laborer. He hates the job. It’s long hours and the salary isn’t great. Managers are rude and it’s generally a trashy place to work. I’ve brought this up with my dad but he’s just said that James ‘knows where the door is’ if he doesn’t like it.
James quit yesterday because he’s found another job. When I told my dad this he called him a ‘useless idiot’ who ‘never wanted to work’. I said that wasn’t true and that maybe he should think about how the company treats people. My dad went mad, called me ‘spoiled’, and said that ‘people like me and James’ expect everything without working for it.
I said back that if not for that manager feeling sorry for my dad, they would BOTH probably be in prison right now. This made my dad even angrier and my mum got involved too. They told me to get out and I did. I’m staying with James for the moment but I don’t regret what I said. I’m not saying they haven’t put in a lot of work, but my dad got very lucky and we wouldn’t be where we are if not for that, so they shouldn’t be treating James and others that way.”
29. AITJ For Being A Threat To The Bride Because Of How I Look?
“I am supposed to be a bridesmaid next month at the wedding of one of my closest friends who I have known for over 10 years. We went to high school and college together, and we have been through every life event you would expect during that time. I was with her the night she first met her soon-to-be husband.
Over the weekend, the five bridesmaids and bride met with makeup and hair consultants who had been hired to get us ready on the day of the wedding. When we got there, my friend told me that I would be last in the lineup and it’s possible the consultants would run out of time, so I should be prepared to do my own hair and makeup if need be.
I thought that was odd but agreed.
Then, during my time with the consultants, my friend was critical of their suggestions in a way she had not been with the other girls. She twice told one consultant not to use much makeup on me, and told the other that she wanted my hair to look just ‘simple and flat.’ My suggestions were always shot down.
Meanwhile, every other bridesmaid was allowed to voice their opinion and was basically getting full glam.
I later asked the maid of honor, who is the bride’s sister and also a friend of mine, whether she thought her behavior seemed odd. That’s when she confided in me that my friend was insecure that I would look better than her at the wedding, and she was trying to minimize my looks as much as possible.
This had literally never occurred to me, but it made sense the more I thought about it.
A few months ago, she asked me to change my bridesmaid dress because she didn’t think the style would ‘fit in’ with what the others were wearing. The new dress, which she chose on her own, has a higher neck and longer skirt than the one we originally picked out together.
I’ve now seen what the other girls are wearing and think the original dress would have been fine.
Here’s the deal, I am hot. I know that sounds conceited but it’s the truth. I modeled through college to pay my tuition, and since graduation have been living in LA and supporting myself in the industry. I’ve appeared in a few national campaigns for fashion and beauty brands and appeared on a few magazine covers and spreads.
Armed with this information and these examples, I confronted the bride in a phone call yesterday. She wouldn’t acknowledge her feelings on the matter or that her behavior was odd, and she instead accused me of being a diva who wanted to control my image on her wedding day. It devolved into the biggest fight we’ve had as friends, with her calling me selfish and vain and deciding I was no longer welcome at her wedding.
AITJ for confronting my friend about this a month before her wedding?
- I was not bothered when the bride initially changed my dress and I was able to return the original. I was under the impression that the one we picked wouldn’t fit the rest of the aesthetic and I didn’t want that. I totally agree she should have a say in appearances on her day, but I also think there are limits.
- I became upset when it became clear that I was being singled out and then more upset when I discovered why I was being singled out.
I am not trying to outshine the bride, nor was I seeking photoshoot makeup and hair — which would look crazy at an event. But I think anyone attending such a big event and appearing in such important photos would want to look and feel good, and not stand out in a negative way compared to the other girls.
- My intention in making the phone call was to raise the issue in a mature and friendly conversation.
I did not even mention her insecurities at first, just that I felt I wasn’t being treated fairly and that I would not look on par with the other bridesmaids. It was only when my friend became very defensive and accused me of being a diva that I said her actions made her seem insecure and jealous, which was not a nice thing to say but I was mad at that point.
- I do not think my friend is inherently a bad or jealous person.
She’s been very supportive of my modeling career. I am convinced that either this wedding has driven her temporarily mad or that someone made a comment that planted this seed of insecurity.
- I think my friend is beautiful and should not have reason to feel jealous. I mentioned my modeling experience because I thought it was important to show that my hotness isn’t just in my head. I consider myself to be ‘commercially attractive,’ the kind of good-looking that is marketable. There are many types of beautiful and I’m not one to make mine seem better or worse than any others. But I’m also not one to deny what I’ve got, either.”
28. AITJ For Telling My Stepdaughter I Can Be A Mom To Her?
“I (43F) have three biological kids (10M, 8F, and 1M.) My youngest son’s father is my husband (45M), and my older kids’ father isn’t around anymore. My husband also has other kids (17F and 15F), so I’m their stepmom, and I really enjoy having all the kids around.
I have pretty good relationships with both my kids and my stepdaughters.
But recently, my 15-year-old stepdaughter was being more quiet than usual. I mean, she’s always been the one to talk less than everyone else, but this time I felt like she was upset or something.
So, about a week ago, I went up to her room and asked her if anything was wrong, and she just told me school was stressing her out and that was it.
I didn’t fully believe that, so I told her if there was anything wrong, she could talk to me about it whenever she felt like it then left her alone for a while.
A few days later, after coming home, she asked if we could talk. I was really surprised she actually wanted to talk to me about whatever was bothering her because she always wanted to handle things on her own.
We went to a part of the house where no one else was, and she ended up telling me about her actual mom. Apparently, this has been an issue her whole life, but she was upset because her mom seems to love her sister more than her and a lot of things like that. I won’t go too into detail (for privacy reasons) but apparently, her mom is a pretty trashy parent.
She seemed close to crying but then said how she sometimes wished that I was her real mom. I was glad to know that she thought of me in that way, but at the same time, it was heartbreaking. Everyone deserves loving parents. I told her that if she wanted to consider me as her mom, then she could because obviously her mother isn’t cut out to be a parent.
Not long after, my husband found out about our conversation and he told me ‘My daughters have only ONE mom, you can’t replace her.’ Then he went on about how his ex is an amazing parent, and that it’s not my job to be a mom to the girls.
I know that I have no right to say anything bad about my husband’s ex, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to replace my stepdaughter’s mom. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Keeping My Grandpa's Ancestral Sword?
“The stuff I’m (20M) talking about is a sword that was used by my 6x great grandfather at the Battle of Plassey. We are from Bangladesh. Our family inheritance goes back several centuries. My grandfather (108M) was the Patriarch before it passed to my father (60M). My father is the oldest child. Here comes the trouble, my grandfather had an affair and eventually left my grandmother (dad’s mother) to marry another woman.
With her, he has 4 more kids (2 sons, and 2 daughters) so now he created a will, that divided his estate, money, and farmlands, among all his kids but my father (as he was the oldest) got 50% of everything. My father stepped back and didn’t take anything. Instead, he revoked it and passed everything to his sister and half-siblings.
It happened when my grandfather was alive, and he created another will that gave me (the eldest grandson) the ancestral sword (I know it might sound funny but I have a lot of emotions attached to it cause I’m a history freak).
The sword hilt is 24k gold, with rubies attached. He passed away after executing this will.
So now, my father is the patriarch but he doesn’t have much wealth as he distributed it but he himself worked hard to provide for us and build his own properties.
Now, according to the will, I’m the rightful owner of that sword and I want to pass it down to my kids. It isn’t just a sword for me.
My father tells me I have no right to it and I should return it because my father did the same too. The same is being said by everyone from my dad’s side of the family that I should return this sword to my uncle as my father won’t take it.
See my uncles are greedy people (they’ll just sell it for quick money) I want to keep it in the family.
I have no intention of returning it because it rightfully belongs to me because I’m the son of my grandfather’s son. According to the will, legally, I’m the owner. That’s the thing.
Now everyone is giving me the silent treatment and telling me I’m a jerk. I should not keep anything because my father didn’t take anything and this takes away my rights too. AITJ for not listening to them and believing that it rightfully belongs to me?”
26. AITJ For Refusing To Let My Brother's Family Live On My Inherited Property?
“My brother (55M) and I (53M) grew up on a working ranch. My brother wasn’t interested in helping around the ranch and told my parents that if he was given the ranch, he would sell the entire property. My brother stored a ton of junk in one of the barns and had no interest in wanting to get rid of anything.
I was not interested in selling the property and would invest in fixing up the ranch.
Our parents passed away and I was given the ranch. I told my brother that if he wanted any of the junk that he left behind, he could come and grab it before I got rid of it. I gave him two months to come out and he never showed or expressed interest.
I decided to fix all the buildings and build another house on the property for my family. My wife’s father moved into the house as he couldn’t afford to live on his own.
He passed away recently, and we have been working on cleaning the house. Our daughter (26F) has been a huge help around the house and around the ranch.
I plan on leaving the ranch to her as she has expressed interest.
My brother went off to live in the city with his wife and two kids. When I was given the ranch, my brother changed, and he dropped all contact with the family. I did reach out to let him know when our parents passed and heard nothing.
My brother sent me a long message that his family was having trouble affording his current living situation and wanted to live in the other house. I was hesitant about him moving onto the property as I was not sure what he would do with the house or property. I told him that I felt horrible about his situation, but I had not heard from him in years and was not ready for someone to move into the house. My brother went on to blame me if his family became homeless and that it was my fault for having no contact with him.
AITJ for not letting my brother’s family live on my property?”
25. AITJ For Wanting To Keep My Ex's Mom Around To Help With My Baby?
“I (28f) grew up in one of those neighborhoods where everyone knows everyone. I was really close to one of the neighbor’s kids (John). Everyone joked we’d end up being together and we did, at 13. Our families grew even closer, and we stayed together for years but eventually, he had an affair in college. I found out about it, and we broke up.
I moved back home after graduation but he didn’t, so I never saw much of him again. I did see a lot of his family, however, as they remained friends with mine. I did need my time to grieve, but after about a year I started hanging out with his parents when they were with mine again and eventually even going out on small outings with John’s mother Anna just the two of us (I was very close to her when John and I were together).
Now, about 5 years ago, I started going out with Ralph. I told him soon in our relationship that I had this ex I hadn’t seen in years, but whose family was still close with mine and I even hung out with his mom sometimes. He was okay with this, even got along well with them himself when he met them and they even came to our wedding.
Flashforward to now – I gave birth to our son 2 months ago. For the 1st month, Ralph was at home with us, but now he’s back at work. He works very long hours and while he does do A LOT with the baby in the evenings/nights, he’s out most of the day. And being alone started being hard – I was getting in my head a lot, and feeling really lonely, so I confided in my mom about this and she told Anna.
My mom works, but Anna doesn’t, so the next day she just showed up with a bunch of cooked meals, cleaned my house, dealt with the baby… It felt so nice I asked her to come again and she was here a few days this past week. Some days, Ralph has come home from work and she’s here.
When he gets home, she usually finishes whatever we’re doing and leaves.
Last night, he sat me down and said that this was driving him crazy. He said that he doesn’t like that I’m hanging out with my ex’s mom so much, that it’s weird for him to have her around his kid, and that he’d appreciate it if we stopped seeing each other so often.
I explained to him that it’s been good for me to have her around, but he told me that it makes him feel like I want her around as a ‘grandmother figure’ to my son and that that makes him feel like I’m still hung up on my ex.
Honestly, that’s not what it’s like for me at all, but I couldn’t convey any of this and just cried and cried and told him that no way I was giving up her support and company and that he was being selfish.
He told me that I was being selfish and that he’d been ‘plenty patient’ about this over the years but that he was at his limit. We haven’t spoken about this again, but now I’m feeling really anxious about this and wondering if I might be putting him in an uncomfortable position.
On the other hand, he never complained about this before and she IS being a giant help to me in these times. Am I the jerk for wanting to keep her around?”
24. AITJ For Wanting To Uninvite My Brother And His Wife From My Wedding?
“My fiancé and I will be getting married this Fall, and the brother in question is actually supposed to be one of the groomsmen.
My brother and his wife have been together for approximately 8 years. She got pregnant 2 months into their relationship and they’ve been together ever since. As long as they’ve been together his wife has constantly started incredibly aggressive drama in my immediate family a few times per year, always about stuff that has nothing to do with her (e.g.
getting involved in my other brother’s marital problems, throwing a tantrum every Mother’s Day if her husband (my brother) wants to visit his mom for just an hour, etc).
Her latest stunt – aggressively attacking me a few months back for not asking her to be one of my bridesmaids. The entire immediate family got involved, and this issue was never truly solved because she decided she wasn’t going to talk to my parents anymore because my dad made a comment toward her during the argument about how she is ‘always sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong’ and ‘thriving off the drama’ (which is 100% true, guess the truth hurts).
She also essentially convinced my brother that my parents are terrible and has forced him to barely talk to them these last few months and she’s been withholding the grandchildren from them as well.
That brings us to this month when my brother and sister-in-law had a phone conversation with my parents, where my sister-in-law flew off the handle the entire time telling my mom she doesn’t like her, and telling my dad she doesn’t trust him with her kids, and essentially making up a bunch of lies and extreme exaggerations to try to make my parents appear as bad people, which they aren’t.
At one point she told my mom ‘You’re just mad I took your son away from you and I control him now’. She also recorded this entire conversation and sent it to my other brother and his wife thinking she was going to get their support… that backfired and neither of them want anything to do with her now.
So… since clearly my brother is brainwashed and manipulated by his terror of a wife at this point, and they both seem to think my parents are the living devil, I feel like they would just start something crazy at my wedding with my parents. Would I be a jerk if I decided to uninvite both my brother and his wife from my wedding?”
23. AITJ For Being Okay With My Partner Going On A Trip With Her Male Friends?
“My (26 m) partner (25 f) had her birthday two weeks before. Every year, her friends take her on a trip. Her friend group is mostly male. They are all very nice and I do not believe they want her.
We have been in a long-distance relationship for two years, and due to some current events and certain things happening right, recently I got the opportunity to move to the United States to be with her.
This year for her birthday, she asked me if it was okay for her to go with her friends. I said yes, have fun. I am still new to this place, so I told her that I would spend the weekend doing some tourist things that she was not interested in doing. She asked me often if it was okay, and I always replied yes, why wouldn’t it be? I would be fine on my own for one night.
I did not go on the trip because while I enjoy her friends’ company, I am not a very social man and she did not see her friends for a long time, because we have been busy since me moving.
Well, she asked finally before yesterday she left if I was sure it was okay, I said yes.
She goes, and everything is fine. We do not text much, but that felt right with her being on a trip.
Later that night, she sent a weird text saying that she wanted me to fight for her and not be ready to send her off with another man. I ask her what, because she does this every year! She told me that it should be different now that we live together and have talked about getting married.
We argued more, and eventually, I stopped responding because I didn’t understand what was going on. We have not spoken since, and she comes back today.
I do not know if I misread something due to the language barrier, if I did something out of the United States culture because of this, or if it is unreasonable. AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Making My Ex Do Everything For The Kids When He Visits?
“I (38F) have 3 children with my ex, ‘Bob,’ (38M).
3 years ago Bob moved to another state for work and only comes to visit once every 3 or 4 months. We don’t go to him because it is 15 hours one way to drive. That is a challenge with 3 kids in the car so it takes 2 days to make the trip.
He pays child support. His mom and stepdad live across town and we visit with them regularly.
Bob and his stepdad do not get along for prolonged periods of time so when he visits, he is not welcome to stay with them. He also claims he can’t afford to get a hotel room since it is so expensive.
Basically, if he can’t stay with us, he can only come visit once or twice a year.
At first, when Bob came to visit, I would take care of everything. Cooking, cleaning, tending to the kids, etc. as I saw him as a guest.
I am a teacher, so I tend to do a lot of lesson planning and grading while at home.
Also during this time, I was taking classes for my master’s.
During one visit, my daughter (10) came in and said they were hungry. Out of habit, I stopped working, got up, and made them lunch. The whole time Bob was on the couch watching TV. I asked him why he didn’t make them lunch and he said he didn’t know what they like.
A few hours later Bob comes and asks what I am cooking for dinner. I told him he could cook. Of course, he didn’t so I ended up getting takeout since he was too broke to afford to pay.
For his next visit, I told him, I was off duty. Anything related to meals and the kids is solely on him.
He needs to plan meals, see what items we need, make a list, and I will go buy groceries. He also is in charge of making sure the kids do their chores. He is basically being a single dad during his visits.
He complains that my needing a break is me being ‘dramatic.’ He says his job makes him tired because it’s a physical job where he works outside on trucks and my job is a cushy indoor job teaching.
He claims he’s not really getting a vacation if I make him do all the aforementioned things. I pointed out that when he leaves work, he only has to look after himself so he gets breaks all the time. I leave work and come home to tend to 3 children, grading, lesson planning, and my college classes.
That he can spend 4 weekends a year taking care of the kids so I can get a break.
This has been going on for the last 4 visits or so. It is to the point where when the kids ask me for food, I say ‘Ask your dad. I’m off duty’ and Bob will come in and say ‘You can’t always be off duty when I’m here.’ I say, ‘Yes I can’ and leave it at that. Now it’s to the point where he has the kids saying ‘You can’t always be off duty when he’s here.’
This annoys me greatly because when he is visiting, I basically have another child to take care of.
So AITJ for making my ex a single dad while he is visiting our kids?”
21. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For The Damages My Daughter Caused?
“My daughter ‘Olivia’ is 7. Her best friend at the moment is this girl ‘Eva’. Eva has multiple older siblings at home. Eva’s parents called and said ‘Hey our 16f (the eldest) is having a friend sleepover and we’re letting 14m do the same with a friend of his, does your daughter want to sleep over the same night?’ This is fairly common among parents that I know, it keeps the kids out of each other’s hair and increases the likelihood that next weekend they’ll all be over at someone else’s house.
The girls were mostly hanging out with Eva’s mom, but at some point, 16f and her friend invited Eva and my daughter to hang out with them (read: use them as dolls), and at some point, the mom left the little girls in the care of 16yos while she went off in another part of the house.
But while the 16-year-olds were playing with the 7-year-olds, my daughter got impatient during a ‘pedicure’ the 16f friend was giving her and kicked some nail polish/remover, which splattered on the carpet, couch, and rug. The next morning when I arrived for pickup, Eva’s mom said ‘No big deal, but this happened, Olivia is fine, don’t worry about it, I’ll just send you the bill for the cleaning!’
I said oh let me get back to you and left.
It’s been a week and she’s mentioned it once more and quoted $200, but has been very casual like ‘No rush.’ But personally, I don’t feel like we should be responsible. If anything, they should be looking at the 16-year-olds.
I will admit that Olivia shouldn’t have kicked the nail stuff and she’s old enough to know better, but in my opinion, the mom left her with a pair of 16yos that were playing around with nail polish and nail polish remover on the 7-year-olds.
If the judgment here is against me then we can figure it out, but we don’t have the kind of money where we can easily just pay $200 just to keep the peace.
WIBTJ for refusing, since I haven’t actually responded yet?
Edit: The kick was intentional but she didn’t intend for it to splatter. Her foot was in the other girl’s hand and the polish/remover was on the coffee table.
There was only maybe a foot of space between the coffee table and the couch. She impatiently removed her foot from the girl’s hand and then swiped her foot intentionally, sending the polish/remover in the rough direction of the couch. Because of physics, some of it landed on the table itself, some of it landed on the rug, and some of it landed on the lower front part of the couch like near the legs.”
20. AITJ For Not Being Affected By My Father's Illness?
“My (29f) mom and my biological father were engaged when my mom got pregnant. My father’s family didn’t like my mom and his parents threatened to cut him off financially if he didn’t end the engagement.
He was ordered to pay child support but he doesn’t have a job or any money of his own and originally he was supposed to pay based on what a minimum wage job was.
His family had money for endless lawyers and my mom couldn’t afford one. It got knocked to the state minimum which was less than $100 a month. My grandparents (my mom’s parents) and family helped out but we didn’t have much in my childhood. We relied on food banks and social programs a lot of the time and I was always in the breakfast program and free lunches program at school.
I love my family for all the help they gave us. They once pooled funds for a lawyer so my mom could have more child support but it didn’t work.
I have a younger brother (20m) who I met about a year ago. I gave him a chance because you can’t choose who your parents are. He is a good kid although he is very sheltered about how the world is because his mom’s family and our father’s family both have money.
He has never had a job or plans for education beyond high school. He has no idea how the world works or how people actually live. We text occasionally and meet up whenever he is in my city. I feel like he is a good kid but has no street smarts and can be dumb about how regular people live.
The last time he was here he informed me our father had a heart problem and a medical intervention failed. The prognosis is 5 months or less. He’s really broken up over it. He got mad I didn’t react or get emotional like him. Now I wasn’t going to say anything because I could see he was sad about it.
I understand he feels differently about our father than I do. He didn’t understand why I didn’t get upset and he asked me why I wasn’t. I said I don’t have any feelings about it.
I’m not sad. Or happy. Or anything else. I have never met our father and besides a letter from his lawyer when I was 20 telling me if I spoke publicly about being his daughter I would face legal consequences I have never had any contact from him.
He’s on my birth certificate but I’ve never talked about him at all. Getting the letter was a trip and it came out of left field back then.
My brother accuses me of being a robot or an unfeeling person and he’s mad at me. Even his partner got mad at me for upsetting him so much and said I could have reacted better.
At least acted sad in front of him. I thought I was being polite by not saying anything to my brother about how horrible our father is because he loves him even if I don’t.
Edit: My brother does know about my dad. He found out about me because our grandmother had dementia and talked about me. He got into trouble with his parents for mentioning me in front of them and our grandfather. Like I said he is a sheltered kid. He reached out to me because I had no clue he existed and I realized he wasn’t our father so I gave him a chance.”
19. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Brother's New Partner's Daughter To My Daughter's Birthday Party?
“When my brother was 18 (he’s a decade younger than the rest of us siblings) he started going out with a girl his age who already had a kid. We were all shocked since he was playing the stepfather role so young and after advising him that this might not be the best situation he got upset and distanced himself so we accepted the girl and her child into our family after they started going out for a while.
With our kids all being close in age we integrated her daughter into their friendship and cousinship too. They all became very close and I even saw her as a niece. Her birthday was a week before my daughter’s and they even combined their 3rd birthdays.
Right before their two-year mark, they broke up. My brother cut contact immediately with her including her daughter.
I wish I could say that I was shocked but he was acting like any other 20-year-old boy. Immature. They had a very messy breakup and despite my and my sister’s efforts to continue the friendship her daughter had with ours the mother was too upset and refused. It seemed like the loss of that relationship affected us more than him.
He told us that the relationship wasn’t even long and us saying he abandoned his daughter (she was calling him dad and he was in her life since she was one) was a joke. Meanwhile, the kids were inconsolable and asking for her for months afterward. It was horrible.
That was three years ago. My brother started going out with a woman back in November but we didn’t really know much about her.
When they moved in together in February she brought her two kids with her and that’s when we found out he was seeing another mom. My other brother was the one to propose the idea that we not let what happened last time happen again by getting our kids and ourselves attached. We agreed.
Last night my younger brother texted me saying that he knew my daughter’s birthday was coming up and he would love it if I let ‘Samantha’ come since she’s only a year older than my daughter and they moved here last summer and she didn’t know anyone so this could help her make friends.
This is the child of his partner. I told my brother no and reminded him of what happened last time we let one of his stepkids in our lives and how broken we were after that ended and he said I was overreacting and I was being a jerk to an innocent kid. I told him he was the one that let another child call him dad for two years and then broke up and never acknowledged them again and he said that this time it’s different and I was not even giving him or the kid a chance.
AITJ? I don’t want my daughter to make a new friend/cousin she will inevitably lose.”
18. AITJ For Taking A Few Cans Of Formula From Someone Else's Cart?
“My (26f) husband and I just had our first child last month. I haven’t been able to find formula anywhere. He’s on a sensitive brand of formula due to the fact that I wasn’t producing enough milk to feed him.
Last week I drove 2 hours to another store just to get some of his formula. The shortage has been very exhausting and stressful to deal with so when I finally saw that my local store had some in stock I immediately rushed over.
When I got to the aisle, I saw an older couple taking some formula off the shelf. The aisle was small so I just waited patiently. I realized they weren’t stopping and eventually, they had about 40 cans of formula in their cart, emptying the shelf.
I spoke up, asking if I could have just about 4 cans for my newborn at home.
The husband scowled at me, and they started pushing their cart away. I said excuse me, and that they couldn’t just take all the formula when I clearly needed it as well.
They said they got there first, and that they had twins to feed. So basically not their problem. I was stressed and furious at this point so I cut in front of their cart and started grabbing a few cans.
I figured they hadn’t paid for any of this so why not? I wasn’t gonna let my baby go hungry because they wanted to grab ALL the formula.
Obviously, they weren’t happy about this and started yelling all sorts of stuff at me, but I quickly made my exit. They called me selfish, a jerk, etc. A manager came up to me as I was checking out and said that next time I should get assistance instead of grabbing it.
He explained there was a limit and they wouldn’t have been able to buy it all anyway.
I feel justified (sorta) in my actions but I’m not sure if that was totally correct.
17. AITJ For Telling My Sister-In-Law To Stop Discouraging My Daughter From Attending School?
“My husband’s sister, ‘Melissa,’ is a social media influencer. She is quite famous and has a large following and at times gets commissions from popular make-up brands. She recently shifted to our city. She is really sweet and my thirteen-year-old daughter, ‘Ana,’ adores her.
For some background, Melissa had gotten lots of grief from my in-laws in the beginning for her job choice.
She is a high-school dropout and didn’t have any job for a long time, while my husband was really successful at school, and then at his job. Melissa is really good at her work, to the point that she earns at par with her brother, and now her family has finally accepted her choice of work.
Ana is really into make-up, and Melissa often gives her tips and tricks. But recently, Melissa has started telling Ana about how she became successful after dropping out from school, that you only need confidence to succeed, not a degree, and that what you study at school doesn’t really have much value in real life. While I agree that education is not everything, Ana is very easily influenced and takes things at face value.
Two days ago, at dinner, she spoke about how she hates school and wants to leave as soon as she can. I don’t have anything against Melissa or her job, but I don’t want Ana to resent school and undermine the importance of education, because dropping out of school doesn’t work for everyone.
Yesterday, I called Melissa and told her that maybe it would be better if she didn’t talk too much about how studies aren’t that important in her job, as Ana is at a really impressionable age. Melissa got offended and said that no one respects her job, and I was insulting her intelligence. I thought that Melissa was taking things to a stretch, as I hadn’t even mentioned her job. She cut the phone and isn’t answering anymore. Am I the jerk here?”
16. AITJ For Not Wanting To Have My Mom In My Place Anymore?
“I’ve just this week moved into a flat and my mum has been helping a lot. She drove my furniture to the new flat and bought me a table and chairs. I’m grateful for this but she is a very nosy person and I’ve always had to hide any personal things for when she visits, as she looks through all my drawers and also moves stuff around all the time causing me to lose important things.
I was having a delivery that couldn’t be rescheduled but I was at work, so she offered to wait for it in the flat. I made sure to hide my important stuff in a zipped-up bag, wrapped in clothes in the wardrobe, covered by a duvet. Felt okay about it all as I took precautions, but stupidly underestimated her nosey-ness.
I had keys to my old flat that needed to be handed in before the weekend, which were in a tiny pouch hidden in some jean pockets. My DS games and jewelry were locked in a small safe also in the wardrobe, the key to which was hidden inside a sock in the inside pocket of a tiny suitcase under the bed.
There was also a 3DS in the same suitcase and feminine care items. I pushed it right to the back under the double bed so it was very hard to reach and put a cushion in front to hide it.
When I got back, she had ‘done multiple clothes washes’ which included all the clothes in said bag, the sock in the suitcase, and literally everything in every drawer.
Stuff I’d washed at hers and not even worn yet. This meant that my old flat keys, the key to my safe, and all the other stuff had been through the wash. Of course, I couldn’t find barely any of them. My 3DS, headphones, the keys, and other items are still missing.
Not only that, but I’ve had a gum infection and am on antibiotics which were in a drawer in the kitchen.
She rearranged all my drawers and now I can’t find them anywhere. I’ve found the painkillers I was taking to help with it in the cupboard in the bathroom. But they were both together in the kitchen.
I’ve been texting her asking where things are, and she gets mad each time and calls me ungrateful, saying she was trying to help.
She can’t remember where she moved anything. But this is a huge invasion of privacy. Also, I’m in trouble now as I can’t find the flat keys, can’t get to a doctor to get more antibiotics, and I love my 3DS.
She’s pestering me to let her come around to help with stuff while I’m at work including putting up some shelves she’s bought for me, I’m refusing and she gets angry and offended.
AITJ for not wanting her around again?”
15. AITJ For Being Offended By My Fiancé's Mom's Jokes About Our Wedding?
“I’m getting married soon and his mom hates me. This has been going on for years and at this point, we know how to handle it, and have our game plan moving forward, but yeah she hates me.
I’m just going to call her MIL because it is easier. Well MIL recently had a milestone birthday and we missed it because I wasn’t feeling well.
I felt really awful, and to be honest I expected her to not totally believe us, because if the roles were reversed I would wonder if she was lying due to the history.
She didn’t say anything, but she isn’t the talk-about-your-feelings type, and I noticed she had been acting even colder than usual. So when I saw her at a recent family cookout, I mentioned that I was sorry we missed her birthday, but I really was sick.
I even offered to take her out to dinner, but she said she was busy.
MIL then joked back that it’s okay, things happen, but she should get to miss one of our events now. I asked what she meant, and she said just to be fair she should get a pass not to go to our wedding.
Her partner joked ‘No save it for when they have kids, no one wants to go to a first birthday’. She said true but weddings are much longer and ‘more work’.
I said that was extremely hurtful and she should want to go to her son’s wedding. She rolled her eyes. I ended up telling my fiancé.
He confronted her and said she needs to not joke with me, because she knows I don’t find it funny, and what she said was just rude. MIL said this is the reason she will never like me, and she feels I was just looking for drama and why would I even tell him that? She also said we are too sensitive and of course, she will show up with a smile and do the right thing, but we can’t expect her to be ‘sentimental’ about it.”
14. AITJ For Telling The Customer Behind Me Not To Unload His Items Until I'm Done With Mine?
“I went grocery shopping this morning. Nothing was out of the ordinary until I got in line at checkout and began unloading my groceries from my cart. The cashier started ringing them up, and when I was about a third of the way through unloading my cart, two guys got in line behind me. One of them immediately began unloading their groceries onto the conveyor belt behind mine, without putting a divider in front of them and without leaving me enough space to finish unloading the stuff in my cart.
I grabbed a divider and placed it in front of their groceries and said ‘Whoa, hold up, let me finish unloading my cart first.’
I’m not sure if I sounded aggressive or something, but I did not raise my voice. I emphasize this because the response I got bewildered me.
The guy responded, ‘You need to chill out, dawg.’
At this point, we made eye contact.
I assume I looked confused, but I can’t be sure. I gestured at my cart and at the little open space that was left on the conveyor belt. I said, ‘I still have more than half of my cart to unload, I just need more space.’
The guy leaned in toward me slightly and made more intense eye contact.
He responded, in a more serious tone, ‘I don’t know if you’re having a bad day or something, but you need to chill out.’
Taken aback by his response and now feeling very confused, I stammered a couple of times before holding my hands up, shrugging in confusion, and saying, ‘What? We don’t need to fight about it.’
That was the end of our exchange.
We didn’t say anything more to each other, but as I continued unloading my groceries, I had to push his stuff back on the conveyor belt to make more space for mine three times. I finished checking out and left, and that was that, but it’s been bothering me since.
Was I unintentionally a jerk? Is it normal for some people/in some places to begin unloading their groceries as soon as they get in line, even if the person in front of them still has a lot more to unload? Did I violate some kind of code of grocery store etiquette that I wasn’t aware of? I feel like I’ve been gaslighted, but I don’t want to just assume that the other guy was in the wrong and I was in the right, and if I did something wrong I definitely don’t want to do it again.”
13. AITJ For Not Wanting To Name Our Baby After My Partner's Deceased Sister?
“I (26f) have been with my partner (24m) for 8 months. I am 6 months pregnant with his baby – a total accident that we are trying to take in. It all has gone really well so far.
We recently found out that we’re having a girl and have started to discuss baby names. For context, both of us lost siblings at a young age.
I lost two of my brothers, Michael & Charlie when I was a teenager, and he lost his sister, Angela, when he was eleven. I was very close with Michael and he was very close with his sister.
My partner suggested the name Michaela Angela and I told him that I didn’t like the flow of it, so he recommended Angela Michaela.
I had to be honest with him and told him that I really did not want to name our daughter after my deceased brothers. Their deaths were very traumatic to me and I don’t want a daily reminder like that. My partner said that was okay but that he really wanted to include Angela’s name and I said that wasn’t something I was comfortable with.
To me, that’s just never something I want to do. It feels too charged, and puts too much pressure on her – I want her to be totally unique and totally her, nobody else, and I don’t want her to be a living memorial to someone she never met.
My partner was put out by it but we dropped the conversation.
A few days ago, he brought it up again, asking what I thought of the name Angelica since it’s only inspired by his sister, not her actual name. I said again, that isn’t something I want to do. He said this was very important to him and he did not want to budge. I said OK great me neither.
His mother has called and is distraught that I will not consider naming our daughter after hers. She feels it would bring a lot of closure to their family but I said I am the baby’s mother and don’t want to call my daughter something I don’t stand by. My partner’s mother said that the birth certificate can say Angela, but I can call her by another name.
I said no, that’s too much to put on a little girl. My partner has been sulky about it and has said he thinks I am being very unfair, especially since I struck down his mother.
Am I being unreasonable? I think I might be pushing too hard against it but I felt very strongly about this.
AITJ for saying I will not name my daughter after her father’s deceased sibling?”
12. AITJ For Embarrassing My Wife In Front Of Her Colleagues?
“My wife and I have been married for 5 years. We’re both Indian. My wife and I moved here after marriage because my wife was transferred and wanted to pursue her career.
I used to work as a bank manager in India but since I came to the US, I quit my job and am a stay-at-home parent to our 2-year-old daughter.
My wife is a software engineer.
We recently bought our first house together and both our parents insisted on us doing a ‘homam’ before moving into the house. It’s basically to ward off evil spirits/eyes from the house. I too felt like we couldn’t even have a proper housewarming ceremony like we would in India so I wanted to keep at least part of our tradition.
We also had to compromise on our daughter’s naming ceremony, baby shower, etc. because of the global crisis. My wife agreed as well because both our families and I wanted the ceremony.
So the homam happened about 4 days ago. It was just our parents and some close friends. My wife also invited some of her work friends, her boss, and his wife because they were curious about the ceremony when my wife applied for a leave.
On the day of the ceremony, I kept a bucket of water near the entrance so that everyone could wash their feet after taking off their shoes. This was because we aren’t supposed to wear shoes while the homam is being done. Even otherwise, we don’t wear shoes inside our home but we don’t usually enforce that when guests come over.
During this particular occasion, the house is supposed to be perfectly clean and is to be treated like a temple so that’s why I kept the bucket of water outside and asked everyone (including my wife’s colleagues) to kindly take off their shoes and wash their feet before stepping inside the house. I felt like they were really respectful about everything and none of them complained about anything.
While eating, I arranged banana leaves on the floor for those who wanted to sit on the floor to eat as well as plates on the dinner table for those who didn’t have a habit of sitting on the floor but her colleagues insisted on doing it ‘the Indian way’, LOL. What can I say, they were super friendly.
Everyone liked the food too which our mothers had prepared on their own.
Before my wife’s boss left, I gave him a bottle of my mom’s homemade mango pickle and ‘ginnu’ (which is a special milk sweet) since his wife was pregnant. We also gave the rest of her colleagues sweet boxes.
After the festivities were done and our parents went to bed, my wife was mad at me.
She said I embarrassed her in front of her work colleagues and that I was being very unprofessional with them by talking too much and giving her boss so many gifts. She called me a ‘pattikaadu paiya’ meaning a ‘country bumpkin’ in Tamil. I was offended and told her that she shouldn’t have invited them if she was so embarrassed by me. She started saying that I was overreacting and making her feel bad. She hasn’t been talking to me properly since then.
11. AITJ For Transferring My Ex's Gym Membership To My Sister?
“I’m a 27-year-old woman who works at a Gym. I get a few perks for instance if I recommend a friend to sign up they get 20% off their membership but the best perk is that I am allowed to give out two free memberships for as long as I work there, one I’ve taken for myself obviously and the other used to be my ex’s.
He and I broke up in a rather messy way, I won’t pin the fault fully on him, there was blame on both sides and it was a very unhealthy relationship. I had no interest in speaking to him again after this breakup and about two weeks after my older sister expressed interest in signing up.
I swapped his free membership to her and I could tell he’d not been to the gym since the breakup anyway so I figured that he wasn’t going to be going there anyway because of the breakup.
I was wrong though as two days ago I got a call from him asking why his membership at the gym was gone and why he was expected to pay now, before anyone here worries he won’t be charged a bill over this just told he’s no longer got a free membership and that if he wants to continue to use the gym he’ll have to pay.
I told him I’d given that to my sister and pointed out that since we aren’t together anymore or even friends he has no right to that membership.
He began to shout over this and said I was trying to make him unhealthy out of spite because our relationship ended and I was being a petty jerk.
I asked him why he should continue to benefit from this when we weren’t together and he told me because it had been a gift and you don’t take back gifts and this continued on and on.
Now, maybe I should have given him a heads up about this but he’d not been to the gym since the breakup and it seemed reasonable to me that he couldn’t expect that he’d continue to get a free membership post-breakup but it seems I was wrong.
He has continued to message me over this matter demanding his membership back I’m getting stressed over this, I’m half in the mind to block his number but I’m afraid he’ll turn up to my work to make a scene if he can’t reach me this way. Am I in the wrong here? Surely it’s normal that I transferred his membership?”
10. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Stop Apologizing To His Daughter?
“My husband has a daughter ‘Eva’ from a previous relationship. He was pretty young when he had her, the relationship with her mother was toxic, and neither of them was able to give her much financially due to their ages.
When she was around 14-15, he married me and her mother married her stepfather. We had two daughters together, and her mother and stepfather had one daughter.
At this point, my husband was much more established and her stepfather had money, so her sisters did have a different childhood than Eva, and I understand why that upset her.
This has clearly weighed on Eva over the years and she seems to hate her sisters or at the least want nothing to do with them.
I understood this when she was younger, but she is in her 30s and to be honest, it bothers me.
My husband feels immense guilt over this and frequently apologizes to Eva. I’m talking about every time one of our daughters gets something he feels the need to apologize to her. It makes me feel like everything is really about Eva, and never just about the younger girls.
Also, Eva gets annoyed when he apologizes and always says some variation of the same thing, her childhood didn’t matter, her husband gives her whatever she wants, and marriage is all that really matters. Then that answer hurts my husband’s feelings and the cycle repeats.
We are currently throwing a sweet 16 for our oldest and he is clearly wracked with guilt.
Eva came over recently and I asked him not to apologize to her. I said at some point he has to just let go and stop apologizing, and she needs to work through her feelings (if it still bothers her, I’m not totally sure) I asked him to challenge himself to not apologize for the sweet 16.
He told me to mind my own business and got defensive.
During dinner, the venue for the Sweet 16 was brought up and he couldn’t help himself. He apologized that she didn’t have more elaborate birthday parties as a child. This really annoyed me and after dinner, I told him I was disappointed. He blew up and said I’m selfish and heartless for not seeing how traumatic this would be for her, and that he can apologize as much as he wants.”
9. AITJ For Not Liking Hanging Out With My Family?
“So I (14f) have 3 younger sisters, and then there’s my parents. And whenever I try to watch a movie or show with them and ask one question everybody gets mad and tells me to just watch. Or if I’m telling one of them something that I thought was important or interesting they get irritated and tell me that I talk too much.
Two of my sisters are 13 and 9, while the youngest is 3. Just like how if I try to tell my parents something after they ask me about it, they don’t listen to my response. And one of my sisters will say ‘You know that no one is listening to you right?’ Or ‘They don’t care just stop.’ Or if I give my opinion on something everybody tells me to just hush, and that if I’m saying it it doesn’t really matter.
Just yesterday my 13-year-old sister asked me something, and I said no. And she continued to badger me about it so I said ‘No is a complete sentence.’ And she didn’t believe me, and I tried to explain. We looked it up and I was right and she got mad and told me to just shut up.
While my mom didn’t say anything until I said something.
Recently we were watching a show about dogs and they showed a dog with cropped ears and a docked tail. So I said how I didn’t like that, and how I didn’t like flat-faced dogs either. And they all told me to just be quiet and that they don’t care, and that I was talking just to hear my own voice.
So I left the room and went to my room. I played my Switch Lite and was minding my business, and my dad came in and asked why I left.
So I explained why and he got mad and told my mom who then got mad at me and they both lectured me saying how family was important.
So I explained to them the reason why I don’t spend that much time with them anymore, and how what they say makes me feel a certain way. And how when I tell them things it means I just found out or just remembered, and how I don’t want to forget because my memory sucks. And that I just want to spend time with them, and how they all gang up on me whenever I say anything.
8. AITJ For Confronting My Lecturer About Plagiarizing My Painting?
“So I (f 19) am in art school. I do fine arts and a couple of weeks ago we had our final semester test. We were given topics and we had to paint accordingly within 3.5 hours. So I did.
Back to now. Yesterday morning I opened the telegram group she has for people in her class and she had sent a picture of a painting as a reference for people in her other class.
I was shocked to see that the painting was so similar to mine. The building, the shape of it. The surroundings. Even the little details were similar. Only the colors were different. Apparently, it was her own painting that she gave to the students as a reference.
I then took a screenshot and sent it to a couple of friends to make sure my eyes weren’t fooling me.
They confirmed they both looked extremely similar. So in the evening, I messaged her privately to talk to her about it. I asked her if I was credited for this painting at all. She questioned why I needed to be credited. I told her exactly why. She then told me that she only took ‘inspiration’ from my painting and that I had no proof as to whether she actually took my painting as her own.
She kept saying I was accusing her of something she wasn’t doing and that she was my lecturer and why would she do that. And she said ‘Even if I did use your painting, shouldn’t you be flattered’.
To me, it’s not a big deal that she used it as a reference or didn’t even mention my name. I would’ve appreciated it if my painting was even shown or at least used as the reference instead. But I still feel bad because it’s true that my painting was good enough to be used as a reference for other people.
7. AITJ For Refusing To Give Someone $200 More For Her New Phone?
“The person whose phone I ruined (let’s call her D) is kind of a friend’s friend, like we are in a big friend group, and we hang out together sometimes. When the incident happened, we were on the subway and she was standing near the door playing on her phone. I was talking to our other friends and at one point turned rather excitedly to talk to someone.
My bag knocked against D’s hand just as the train door opened and her phone fell into the gap between the train and the platform. We reported it to the station, but by the time they were able to retrieve the phone it was already damaged beyond salvaging.
D’s phone was relatively new (a few months old) and I felt bad for making her lose it, so I offered to replace it.
My employer has a corporate deal with the phone brand, so I can get the phone with her exact specs for cheaper. I ordered the phone to ship directly to her and thought that was it.
Barely a day later, D texted to ask why the bill showed the phone at a lower price. When I told her about my corporate discount, she asked me to give her the cash difference from the full retail price.
I was shocked and refused since I already got her the exact phone that I damaged so I don’t see why I need to give her more money. Plus, I got her a brand new phone while hers was used, so how can she even expect full price?
The difference was almost $200 which may not be much for some, but I just started working and barely have any savings, so that money is a lot.
She insisted that I should have given her the exact amount she spent on her old phone because I ruined it, and actually I should have given her all cash in the first place so that she could upgrade to another phone since a new model was already out. The exchange got ugly and I told her she was an entitled brat and blocked her.
She’s been going around telling our mutual friends I’m cheap and a jerk for not showing any remorse for breaking her phone. People got the impression I was giving her some cheap knockoff or a secondhand phone, so they also came to admonish me.
Once I told them what happened they cooled down but there were still mixed opinions.
Some agreed she is kind of entitled and the brand new phone with the exact specs is a more than reasonable compensation, some think it’s tacky to try to cut costs when compensating someone because it says I’m not really sorry, and most are just annoyed that this small thing has become a several-days-long group drama. I still think I’m being reasonable especially since it was an accident in the first place, but I’m hoping to get some outside opinions. If people think I’m in the wrong then I’ll try to make peace. So folks, AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Selling The Car To Another Person?
“So I’ve recently had some luck and got myself a free new car. One that’s a definite upgrade over my old one (4-door v 2-door, estate v hatchback).
So I sold my old car online. Got a reply from a nice ole gent with disabilities. Who offered me a little bit below what I was asking and for me to deliver the car to him as he had no transport.
(I would not have gone alone, but I was worried as it did seem a little scammish. Though his profile did look legit)
About an hour later however I got a request from a father looking for a first car for his son, he does not live locally but was in the area and saw my advert.
He offered more than what the other man did and wanted to come to view it as soon as possible as they would be 3 hours away if they did not.
I acquiesced, and the father and son liked the car. Decided to buy it there and then for the requested amount.
Which I accepted.
I then, as a courtesy, informed the disabled gentleman the car was no longer for sale.
This caused a bit of a tirade as apparently the disabled gent had been looking for a car for a while, and mine was a great size and price for them. And they’re upset as I ‘promised to hold it’.
I had not, I said I would do my best but couldn’t promise.
Now I don’t think I am the jerk but I’ve had some friends say I am.
Frankly, my concern is I’m a seller. I’m not a charity. I had a father and son there right then willing to buy it for asking, whereas I’d have to go to an unknown person tomorrow with a friend of family to both back me up and take me home, with no guarantee the gent would actually buy it.
5. AITJ For Telling My Husband's Mom She Can't Stay With Us?
“I (24F) had my first baby recently and my MIL and I have never been more at odds. I’m returning to work soon and my MIL seems oblivious to my struggles.
I’m set to return to work in about a week, and for months I have told my family and my husband’s that we won’t be accepting visitors from Christmas to the New Year because I want to enjoy the final days of my maternity leave without having to worry about hosting.
My in-laws came for Christmas celebrations last week, but my MIL mentioned she will be passing through next week when she travels to their second home. I told her she was welcome to stop by as long as she knew that I would be attached to my son the entire time since her visit would coincide with my first week back at work.
Today, my husband spoke to his mom on the phone and she has changed her plans. She will now be traveling our way this weekend, while I am still on leave (and during the same window I mentioned before I did NOT want visitors). She asked my husband – not me – if she could stay with us for an evening, and reassured him that it would be like ‘she’s not even here.’
I got upset with my husband and told him she has put us in an impossible situation: either I sacrifice the night alone with my family for HER benefit or I become the bad guy for putting my foot down.
My husband was equally upset with me and said that I was being disrespectful towards his mother. His mom has a LONG history of inconsiderate behavior.
Just to provide an example: my husband was working the day she and my FIL flew in for Christmas. She asked me to pick them up from the airport an hour and a half away.
I told her I had never made a trip that long with my newborn alone in a car, and said I was not comfortable doing it but would be happy to pay for a rental car/etc. She responded by saying ‘Why aren’t you comfortable? He’s great in the car. You can do it!’ instead of honoring my feelings and the stress that would be placed on me (and her newborn grandchild).
Anyone with children knows 90 minutes in the car alone is no cakewalk. She does not respect me, or value me, and I think this is another action in a long pattern.
I don’t want to put my husband in the middle, but these last few days of maternity leave are extremely important to me and I don’t want to spend them with someone who openly disrespects me at every turn. AITJ for telling my MIL she can’t stay with us?”
4. AITJ For Always Being Late?
“I work in fast food. I’ve had this job for 6 years, and I’ve always struggled to be on time. A few months in, I was made a manager. There always needs to be a manager in the building, but at that location, it made no difference if I was late – there were always multiple managers there.
And then I was transferred to my current location. It’s smaller and has a lot fewer managers. If I was late, someone would be waiting for me to show up so they could leave.
After about a week, I sat down with my manager, Eliza, and we made a deal. My schedule was changed so that all of my shifts started an hour earlier.
So I had 9-hour shifts, instead of 8, and there was a guaranteed one-hour overlap between me and the person before me. And it worked wonderfully. Even though I was regularly late, I still had the smoothest transitions because of that overlap, and nobody was inconvenienced.
The manager before me would also sometimes be able to leave early, which everyone (in particular, Eliza, who was salaried) enjoyed.
Eliza even tried to convince the others working my shift to do that as well, but they refused. So it’s still an 8-hour shift, with only me working 9 hours.
2 months ago, Eliza got transferred. We got a new manager, John. I don’t know how the transition goes, but I assumed that even if he was made aware of it, he would not be willing to continue my deal from before.
I’ve had a second job now for 3 months, and easily worked through my lateness issues there (tardiness isn’t punished there, but makes the job much more difficult – work starts on time, whether you’re there or not), and felt like I could do fine with that at my main job as well, as long as we could go back to the 8-hour shifts.
But when we got our first schedule made by John, I was still given a longer shift, with an hour earlier start time. I honestly prefer it this way – mostly because it allows me to stress a lot less about when I get there. John seems to like it that way too – he regularly leaves early on my days. So I see no need to bring it up with him. But I’m being told by the other managers (and even some crew) that John complains constantly to them about my lateness.
Am I the jerk for not being on time until my manager addresses it with me?”
3. AITJ For Getting An Employee Fired For Not Being A Morning Person?
“I (39m) work in agriculture. Long days, long hours, great salary. We recently hired a new guy. He’s 35ish. He told us early on that he is not a morning person and, boy, was he right.
We show up at 6 a.m. and for the first hour or so, this guy is just a huuuuge pain in the butt.
He whines about being tired, he whines about the long hours, he whines about the dust, smells, bugs, grease, chemicals, equipment, and pretty much everything else that was explained to him when he was hired. This is the job.
He does this every morning without fail. But after the first hour, a switch flips and he is a reasonably capable and competent employee.
No complaining or crying for the rest of the day and we all get along fine. We more or less like the guy. Just not for the first hour of the day. Every. Day. For months.
About a week ago, he turned up in the morning and is on a tear. Just ranting. We all go along with our day, but this morning is worse than others.
It just. Keeps. Going. He’s unstoppable. Until I finally tell him, ‘OK man… I have heard enough. Close your mouth, buckle down, and find something else to do AWAY FROM US. Or quit. I don’t know. But I am tired of hearing your nonsense.’
Guy goes ballistic. ‘So run me off! Fire me! Whip my butt!’ No, dude.
No one wants that. We all have a job to do and families to feed. Just shut up. He does not. He escalates his fit until he is literally taunting me and the rest of our crew because no one has the courage to thrash him. Uh… because we are professionals? But I, for one, was approaching that line.
He finally walks away for half an hour, comes back in better humor, and apologizes. I accept his apology. Then he just stands there. Waiting expectantly. For what? Me to apologize.
No sir. Your attitude is a problem. If the first 2 hours of your day are miserable, it is your responsibility to wake up earlier and get it out of your system before work hours.
Stuff your hissy fit up your butt. Call your mom, maybe, because no one else cares.
So he calls the big boss who promptly fires him, chews my butt for antagonizing the goober, and has a bad day of his own.
So. Am I the jerk? I am feeling slightly guilty, as the guy has kids and a mortgage just like me. But I also feel fine with it, as dude is a crybaby. Despite his warning about bad mornings, where does my duty to take nonsense and abuse off this jerk end?”
2. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Aunt To My Wedding?
“I’m (31F) getting married in the fall. I had stated from the start that I would strongly prefer if my aunt didn’t attend. She has severe developmental delays (she’s about the age of a 5-year-old inside), gets overwhelmed easily, and generally doesn’t enjoy crowds. She didn’t attend my parents’ wedding either. I feel strongly that my wedding will not be a fun time for her, as there will be a lot going on and there won’t be any food she enjoys (she likes hot dogs and pepperoni pizza – the food at the wedding is all going to be vegetarian).
I offered to do our own party with her and get all the food she likes, I said she could come to the bridal shower if she wanted, the rehearsal dinner, brunch after, etc. I feel like those events would still be a lot for her but they’re much shorter events. All of these options were rejected.
Instead, they want her to attend the wedding – with two people they’re going to hire to watch her. I said if she needs two people to watch her is this something she’s even going to have fun with? They also did not offer to cover the extra people I didn’t budget for (my partner and I are paying 100 percent of the wedding costs).
When I entertained the idea, I asked what the plan would be because my grandmother (86) and my mother (57) both felt she was incapable of staying the entire event. I got multiple responses to the same question ‘She will come for the ceremony and leave’ ‘She will come for just dinner’ ‘She will come for the ceremony and dinner’ ‘She will get her hair done with you (??)’.
I tried explaining that coming in the middle of the event (likely during speeches or the first dance) was not okay and I expressed concern that there wouldn’t be almost any food she would enjoy (food is a huge factor in keeping her chill) and she would have to sit around for 2 hours before anything was served that she would enjoy.
Knowing her that would make her anxious and uncomfortable. My grandmother yelled at me that she could have cheese and crackers. I tried telling them there’s no cheese and crackers on the menu.
With all of the above, I made the hard decision to just say ‘No’. Since then my mother has called my partner and his mother to try and convince them that we needed to let her come.
When this didn’t work, they started saying that my partner had told my aunt she could come and how dare he lie to her (this didn’t happen). My grandmother then also proceeded to tell my future MIL that my partner was a huge jerk for lying. My mother has also accused me of making my grandmother ill over this. Now I’m being told my mother is sick over this too.
Well to sum it up, my family minus my sister and another aunt think I’m a huge jerk. My grandmother declined my wedding invitation after attending my bridal shower and not acknowledging me. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Wanting My Sister To Give My Son Expensive Gifts?
“My sister C and I are not the closest sisters. She has two children and I have three. My husband and I started going out in high school and got married after graduating from college. C traveled to Europe after college and met the son of a very wealthy man while there. They married two years later, and from what I have gathered, both of them are now considered wealthy independent of her FIL.
As a family, they do a lot more than anyone else can afford, and while they don’t rub it in our faces, it’s very hard not to notice the differences in lifestyle.
It was recently my eldest son’s 10th birthday. When inviting guests to his party (family only, he had a separate party with his friends), I included a list of items that our son had recently been asking for in order to make gift shopping a little easier for everyone.
I gave my sister a different list than everyone else with more expensive options knowing that she could afford it and that our son J would appreciate having something a little nicer.
At the party, I made sure to give my son the gift from my sister’s family last so that it wouldn’t overshadow any of the other gifts and everyone could get an excited reaction from J.
When he opened the gift, it wasn’t an item from her list. Instead, it was an item from the list given to the rest of the family. A little while after the presents were opened, I asked C to step into another room with me and confronted her about her present.
I asked why she hadn’t gotten our son something from the list we gave her, and she told me that she had.
When I stated that the list only had consoles and games on it instead of the science kit she bought, she said that our parents had shown her the list they got when they went shopping together and she picked from that list. I told her that we gave her a different list because we knew she could afford it while the rest of the guests could not.
She got incredibly angry saying that it was not her responsibility to get expensive entertainment for children other than her own. She also shouted at me that she and her husband wouldn’t even buy those things for their children so, and I quote, ‘Why would I buy them for yours?’ Before I could respond, she grabbed her husband and kids and left my home.
I thought I was doing right by my kid and my guests to make sure that everything could be affordable, but now my sister won’t talk to me and my son is disappointed he didn’t get a gaming console. AITJ?”