People Tell Their Amusing "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Defending My Fiancée Against My Parents And Uninviting Them From Our Wedding?
“My (23m) fiancée (22f) and I have been engaged for over a year now. We decided to wait and get married so she could finish college without the stress of wedding planning. Now that school has passed our wedding will be in October and we have been excitedly planning for our future.
The problem spans all the way back to the beginning.
In the first few months of our relationship, my mother called my fiancée asking about her plans for the future in regards to marriage (keep in mind my mother is a devout Christian). When she told my mother that she was waiting until after graduation to begin even thinking of marrying, my mother called her selfish for disrupting God’s plan and that satan was guiding her off the path.
This was insulting as my fiancée had worked hard to get accepted into her first university of choice and on basically a full-ride scholarship as well. I had heard this conversation over the phone and my mother still doesn’t know that I’m aware of her comments. My fiancée wanted to just get past and get over it, chalking it up to my mom maybe being sad one of her sons was getting older and making a life of his own.
A month prior to becoming engaged, I called my parents to let them know how I was feeling about my fiancée being the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with. I was met with them saying ‘Are you sure she’s the one’ and ‘Maybe not to do that just yet’.
I basically ignored their words and proposed the next month later and was met with ‘Oh I didn’t think you were that serious about marrying her’ and that they wished they had known about it sooner. I had even shown them the ring the month prior.
Recently we moved in together (which was looked down upon but tolerated due to the engagement).
My mother called and said she was worried about my fiancée’s past. I felt this crossed a line both morally and personally as she has no right to comment on someone’s past, whether it’s good or bad.
Now presently we are faced with an issue of our relationship being discredited and unacknowledged. The other day, I was discussing something with my father (can’t remember the topic) but I have communication issues due to being on the spectrum so it was hard for me to formulate words.
My fiancée stepped in and asked if she could say something and was met with my father saying ‘Absolutely not, you are not part of this conversation nor matter and it is between me and (my name here)’. This set me off as this isn’t the first time they have disregarded her as my partner.
I guess something has snapped and I said any disrespect to her was disrespect to me and she is going to be my wife and we work together as a team through all issues we encounter.
Now my parents are blocked on everything and are uninvited from our wedding but some family say I have overreacted and my parents are refusing to believe they aren’t invited any longer.
AITJ and does anyone have any advice?”
36. AITJ For Telling A Guy's Wife That He Was Handing Out Business Cards To Other Women?
“I was in a bar last night, and a man kept eyeing me. Now, this is not completely out of the ordinary, and I’m not against someone starting a conversation as long as they’re not creeps about it. I also know how to deal with the situation if someone IS a creep, or can’t take no for an answer, or is three sheets to the wind.
Anyway. This guy was, not to put too fine a point on it, ridiculously handsome. He was also dancing with a pretty girl standing next to him and hugging her every now and then. They both looked to be in their early thirties. (I’m a woman in my forties. But I get approached by men ranging from old enough to be my son to young enough to be my grandfather, so…)
After he had been eyeing me for about an hour I went to the bathroom, which is separated from the bar by a door. On my way back, the guy walked past me, held the door, touched my hand, and made eye contact for a minute. No problems so far.
Five minutes later he walked up and stood next to me with his back to me.
I looked up from my phone: he was surreptitiously holding out a business card to me behind his back.
I slid it into my pocket – I figured, eh, why not, worst case, I can just toss it in the trash later. I only looked at it about half an hour later and it was definitely his card – it was a real estate agent business card and had his photo on it.
Just as I was about to leave, I visited the bathroom again, and – I swear I’m not making this up – the pretty girl he was dancing with walked into another stall. So I waited for her to walk out and said, ‘Sorry, but I’d like to ask you something. The guy next to you, is that your significant other?’
She answered, ‘Oh, that’s my husband.’
So I gave her the card.
I feel pretty good about it, to be honest, because if my SO was handing out cards to women in bars I’d definitely like to know about it. And if this was a situation where they were fishing for a third and she knew about it, well, no harm no foul.
But a few acquaintances who were with me that night said it was no big deal and ‘a couple out for a night was having fun and I spoiled it.’ So, AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Causing The Cleaner To Get Fired?
“My wife and I hired a cleaning lady to come once a month and help us stay on top of things as we have a 6-month-old. A few months into cleaning for us she announced she herself is pregnant and as such she understandably doesn’t want to be around chemicals. She wanted to grow her company anyway so she hired another girl who was nice enough.
Unfortunately, the other day we discovered several boxelder bugs in our nursery as the south-facing side of our house is very hot and sunny and it seemed they got in through the AC. So we removed it. We called an exterminator but they essentially said to leave it and batten down the hatches until the cold deals with the problem as they are considered non-harmful to the house structure and we don’t have ‘a lot’ according to them.
Closing the windows has proven effective but they have to stay closed. The bugs push themselves between the screen and the window so it was logical to assume they would get in the house if the window was open with the screen in. The front of the house is a different story as it’s not sunny so there aren’t as many bugs so there is still an active A/C unit and the house is a comfortable temperature.
When the new girl came we gave her two rules for while she was here. 1) don’t open the windows. 2) don’t leave the door open as the dogs might slip out.
Well, she opened and left open all the windows and a bunch of bugs got in as it was an even hotter day today so we had to spend at least an hour dealing with them all.
She also left the front door open while she went back and forth to her car and missed that our geriatric pug had slipped outside so she ended up locked out while we were frantically looking for her. Fortunately, she didn’t leave the yard but she is blind and deaf and was likely scared for that 5-15 minutes.
When our usual cleaner asked how she did, I was honest with her about my annoyance. She apologized and followed up later saying apparently the girl opened the windows worrying the fumes would hurt the baby, but we had all safe cleaning supplies. She said she had let her go and she would find someone else to clean for us next month if we still wanted it.
The girl found us on social media and messaged my wife that we should have told her and not her boss our complaints and that we were jerks for costing her her job as she just moved here and needed the income. Are we the jerks? Should we have lied or given her a second chance?”
34. AITJ For Shutting Down Another Woman's Parenting Advice?
“I (24f) have a child (3f) who has cancer. B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She was diagnosed over a month ago and has had aggressive chemotherapy since she has 2 genetic mutations that make her high-risk.
My daughter has had an incredibly hard time adjusting to losing her hair. She loves everything Disney Princess-related and loves thinking that she’s a Disney Princess.
She thought that without her hair, she wouldn’t be a Disney Princess anymore. I have done my best to tell her that this is not true. Her losing her hair also causes severe scalp pain, so I was thinking about shaving her hair before it fell out completely, because it was just so painful to watch, and she would hold her head and scream in pain.
Enter my friend, Shae. Shae has been a good friend since high school, but she is one of those mothers who are very ‘Holier than thou’ about the way that she raises her children. She is against screen time and she doesn’t let her children go to school. I am the opposite; my daughter does get screentime (especially lately, with her not having the energy to do much else), and I had planned on her being enrolled in a public Pre-K.
She’s very critical of me, and when my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, Shae tried to get me not to agree to chemotherapy. She accused me of trying to poison my daughter after I turned her MLMs and natural remedies down, and told her that we would be doing chemotherapy.
She apologized, and I forgave her, but when I was trying to decide whether to shave my daughter’s hair, she told me not to, and to let it all just fall out, so that I would not rob my daughter of her ‘girlhood’.
At first, I tried to listen to her, but my daughter came into my room at 10 PM, screaming ‘TAKE IT OFF MOMMY TAKE IT OFF’ over and over again while grabbing at her hair, so I took her into the bathroom and shaved it. I have hats, headbands, and wraps, and was well prepared for this, as we were in the hospital for almost a month and doctors told me what to expect, and how to prepare.
Shae blew up at me, accusing me of shaving her head just to contradict her. I told her to shut up, because she has never had to make these decisions, and she doesn’t know anything about this, I said that I was done asking for her advice at all and that if she didn’t stop, I would block her on everything and not allow her to visit anymore.
She got really upset, and some of our mutuals, say that I was too rude, while others are taking my side. AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Telling My Roomie To Train Her Dog To Stop Stealing Food From My Dog's Bowl?
“So I (24F) live with another girl (21F). We’ve been living together for around 2 years now, and during that time, my Husky has lived with us as well.
My Husky has always been free-fed since he was a puppy, and his food is always kept in the common area (the kitchen) of the apartment.
Since he was the only dog living in the home up until a few months ago, there were no issues with this.
However, a few months ago, my roommate adopted a one-year-old Labrador, which I agreed to seeing as my dog gets along well with other dogs, and didn’t foresee any problems. After a meet and greet between the dogs and finding that they got along great, my roommate brought home her new dog.
As I said, there haven’t been many problems with this new dog – except one. Her new dog constantly steals food from my Husky’s bowl, since he is the type of dog that inhales his food in one gulp. My Husky never has time to finish his food throughout the day because it always gets stolen by the new dog.
(I cannot move my Husky’s bowl into a separate area because my roommate and I share a bedroom and bathroom, so all areas are a shared space)
To combat this problem, my roommate suggested that we both feed the dogs on a strictly timed schedule to avoid feeding conflicts, which I declined. My dog has always been a free-fed dog, and I don’t want to mess with his food schedule when that’s how he’s done it all his life.
Besides, he never likes to eat more than a few bites at a time, so only allowing him to eat twice a day would mean he wouldn’t be able to get enough calories in.
Instead, I suggested that she train her new dog to stop stealing food from my dog’s bowl since it’s her dog that’s causing issues in the first place.
My roommate got all mad at me upon hearing this suggestion, calling me selfish and rude, saying it’s hard to train a fully grown dog to not steal food from another bowl that is left unattended, and that it’s common courtesy to adapt when a new dog comes into the household.
While I don’t think my request was as outrageous as she made it seem… I do understand somewhat where my roommate is coming from.
It’s just not convenient for me to change my dog’s feeding schedule when it’s her dog that is messing it up in the first place.
So… AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Refusing To Apologize To My Stepsister For Being The Reason For Her Freaking Out?
“I (17m) have a little sister Selene (15f) and my dad’s partner has a daughter Pam (16f). Pam and her mum moved in with us nearly three weeks ago.
After they moved in they insisted on some rules like I shouldn’t spend the nights in Sel’s room (which I never do), not be loud, go to bed on time, etc. My dad kind of shut it down, he said the only rules needed were we are all polite and do our chores.
On Monday, Sel and I were on the sofa, she had her head in my lap (she was feeling a little sick).
When Pam saw us, Sel had her head turned toward my torso and Pam freaked out. I understood why she did and I can now understand that it did look I-don’t-know-what-to-say. She started screaming, Sel got up, we tried to calm her down but it didn’t work and all of us got loud. It ended with us telling her to calm down and that there was no reason for her to freak out.
She said alright but stood there looking at us. When I asked if she wanted something she said she was waiting for an apology.
Sel and I refused to apologize because she was the one who started it, but she insisted there was no reason for us to be rude. We still refused. Pam told her mum, who told my dad but my dad supported us and said that it was all a misunderstanding.
We weren’t asked to apologize again, but today Pam’s mum was packing their stuff up and said she didn’t want her daughter exposed to an inappropriate and toxic household, or people who lack basic manners.
I didn’t want the situation to escalate, and this was my dad’s first relationship in 8 years. So I don’t know if it was my attitude toward Pam causing this.
I know I was rude but I also feel like she didn’t have to behave the way she did.”
31. AITJ For Not Telling A Woman That I Was Picking Up My Mom?
“I’m (16F) and I recently got my driver’s license, so my mom has been letting me drive her to/from work. She’s a teacher at an elementary school, so when I get out of my school for the day I drive over there to pick her up.
There’s a specific part of the parking lot where you can wait if you’re picking someone up, so I was sitting in that part of the parking lot listening to music in the car. A woman came up and said, ‘You know this spot is only for pickups and drop-offs, don’t you?
You’re not allowed to just sit here.’ I do know that there’s a 15-minute time limit but I hadn’t been sitting there that long. So I just said, ‘I know, I’m picking someone up.’ She didn’t believe me and she said sarcastically, ‘Oh really? You have a child that attends this school?’ I was annoyed so instead of explaining that my mom works there, I just said, ‘Yep, I sure do.’ She made a face at me and walked away.
Two minutes later this woman comes back with Erica, the lady who works in the front office of the elementary school, and I can hear her telling Erica, ‘Obviously, she’s not old enough to have a child at this school, so she’s lying about her reason for being here.’ Erica saw that it was me in the car and asked, ‘Are you here to pick up your mom?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Erica said, ‘Okay, I’ll let her know you’re here so that everyone can get on their way.’ She kind of gave the woman a nasty look when she said it, so then the woman gave me a nasty look.
She and Erica both went back to school together.
When my mom came outside after, she asked, ‘What’s going on? Erica said you upset some woman out here.’ I told my mom what happened, and she sighed and said, ‘I don’t know why you had to make a scene, you could’ve just told her why you were here.’
I obviously could’ve done this but I was annoyed that she was hassling me. So AITJ for not just explaining?
EDIT: This woman does not work at the school. I think she’s a parent who was probably there for an afterschool activity.”
30. AITJ For Violating My Sister's Physical Boundaries When She Picks Up My Cat?
“My (14F) step-sister (14F) and I don’t really get along. Last year, my dad got me a cat.
He’s really sweet, but mostly blind, and doesn’t enjoy being picked up without warning.
My sister isn’t allowed pets per her dad. She also hates being touched. I don’t know why, but it’s just a thing.
Anyway, she’s somewhat obsessed with my cat. He hates it, but he’s too sweet and doesn’t do anything but let out panicked meows.
She thinks he likes it and he’s talking to her.
I’ve told her to leave him alone, I’ve spoken to her dad and my mom, but she just won’t listen. My dad has even spoken to her about it. She just won’t leave him alone.
So, last week I took matters into my own hands.
I told her on Monday to leave him alone and mentioned how she doesn’t like people touching her without asking. She told me he was fine and if he didn’t like it he’d scratch her.
So, that morning, when she picked him up, I simply hugged her from behind while she was doing it. She panicked a little and asked why I was touching her.
I told her every time she picks the cat up I’ll hug her because clearly she needs some contact.
She put him down, and when she picked him up later that day, I did the same thing. She cried that time, and I felt a little bad.
That continued until Friday when she stopped picking him up.
She’s mad at me, still, and has blocked me on everything. My dad gave me a whole conversation on consent and how we really shouldn’t violate people because of animals but hasn’t made any more to punish me or anything.
Obviously, her dad is angry about it, but he went to my parents rather than me, so I don’t know how that’s being dealt with.
Mom is annoyed the most and has told me I need to apologize or I won’t be welcomed back to her house. I told her I won’t apologize until my sister did. She, like my dad, said cats aren’t equal to humans.
I do feel bad for her, but I feel worse for my cat, and she wasn’t listening when I told her no. I just did the same back.
I know I’m in the wrong regardless – violating consent is bad. I just want to know if I’m solely in the wrong. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Letting My Parents Come Home To A Filthy House?
“My (17F) dad recently had a heart attack due to diabetes, high blood pressure, and shock that my brother (24M) was arrested and kept in prison for about 2 weeks for consumption of substances.
It’s a tough time for everyone in the house and mom had to go with dad to a hospital in another state for heart surgery.
Now before Dad had a heart attack, Mom had funded a small renovation to the spacious living room we had and had a team of 6 construction workers doing all the work while she kept all the things that were in the living room in my small one and left my brother’s untouched. I protested and said that I basically had nowhere to sleep now considering the living room was obviously under construction and couldn’t sleep with my brother in his room because he didn’t have a spare mattress.
Mom ignored this problem and told me to either deal with the room all cramped up or I could sleep in the hallway for all she cares.
Now that they’re gone, it’s only me, my brother, and 6 different adult men coming in and out of the house, and I’m the only girl around with no place to sleep so I was extremely uncomfortable, so I packed some of my clothes and hygiene stuff, locked my room and told my brother that I’m going to be over at my BFF’s house which is quite literally across the street from us.
He didn’t care so I left.
During the 2 weeks my parents were away, my brother had access to prepared food from my grandmother and had too many of his friends over at our house without mom’s permission. I only came back once the first week to check on my brother. About 4 days ago the renovations were finished and my parents came back home yesterday the same day I also came back to get the stuff from my room and put them back in the new living room, all by myself.
I came home and mom immediately started screaming at me and calling me disgusting, vile, an ungrateful jerk, and all the names in the book. I was like what did I do this time? She kept screaming about me not cleaning the house and leaving it to rot. I walked into the kitchen and I kid you not, maggots were on the ground wiggling about.
Trash was EVERYWHERE and there was not a single plate or utensil that was not greasy. The floor went from white to brown and the stench of rancid fruits and meals was suffocating. I swear I’ve seen some types of insects I had never seen in my entire life that day. The rest of the rooms were a complete mess and the whole house looked like it hosted pigs for guests.
And of course, I get blamed for the mess.
I tried to say that my brother was here the entire 2 weeks with strangers and I just left the day they did and came back now but Mom kept calling me disgusting and that it didn’t matter and that it was expected from me to clean after the workers and my brother.
She threw a tantrum at me when I mentioned that he’s 24 and is capable of taking away the trash and she replied with ‘He’s a boy you know he doesn’t do that sort of crap’. I was forced to clean up the entire house at 107 degrees for about 6 hours while they all were sleeping/enjoying the A/C.
Mom wouldn’t shut up about it even after I was done and told my grandma/aunts about it and they all gave me a lecture about how when mom is out I take the housewife role. My dad is very disappointed in me.
I feel terrible that Dad left for surgery and came back to such filth and to be honest, I feel bad for Mom too cause she’s mentally tired too.
Edit: We have window units because a central for a house of this size is too expensive for us. And I live in Arizona if you’re wondering, my family is not from the US but my parents met here and had me and my brother. My grandmother and aunts moved to AZ after my parents were married.”
28. WIBTJ If I Call Out Someone For Sending Pictures Of His Significant Other Without Consent?
“I (25F) play a popular fighting game at a high competitive level. With the territory comes a lot of super toxic men, creeps, and just general trash-taking.
No big deal, I can handle it, I can play along, whatever. It doesn’t bother me, I just like to play my game.
A couple of days ago I encountered a guy who I’ve played a few times and is always really disrespectful (sending me hateful messages, calling me names, etc.) and he was a little more aggressive than usual. After a bit of trash-talking back and forth the things he was saying got really out of hand and I was uncomfortable, so I told him to have a good night.
He continued berating me and started sending photos of his ‘hot significant other’ (not lewd or anything but showed her whole face and upper half) to try to prove a point. What point, I have no idea, but some point nonetheless.
This made me really uncomfortable because as a woman in the gaming community, I feel pretty protective over other women, especially when it comes to dudes being creepy, so I messaged back one more time to tell him that regardless of how he felt, it was inappropriate and disrespectful to send photos of someone he cares about without their consent, especially considering he had his full name and public social media accounts on his profile.
He immediately started in on ‘females being victims’ and ‘overly emotional’ and all the things guys like to say about women.
He said it’s ‘HIS significant other’ and not my place to care because he can do whatever he wants with her photos. It went on and on and got progressively worse so I screenshotted the messages and found his significant other on social media.
I’m debating sending her the screenshots because if it were my SO saying those things about me and sharing my personal photos, I would want someone to tell me, but I also feel like it’s super petty to do something like this. I’ve been sitting on it for a while and don’t know what to do.
WIBTJ?”
27. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister's Significant Other To Stay Over?
“My parents are on a trip to another state but I couldn’t go because I had recently started a new job.
My sister (F 21) and I (F 16) grew extremely close since early 2020 and we became inseparable and had many inside jokes, things we could bond over and talk about for hours.
Our main thing was watching Coryxkenshin’s SSS (spooky scary Sunday) videos but it all went downhill when she met her current significant other.
My sister had met this boy by going to the same school but now they rekindled their friendship into a relationship. My sister slowly started leaving the house by hanging out with him later and later in the evening having a sleepover once to permanently stay over at his house with his parents and she rarely came home unless she needed a new bag of clothes for her stay at her SO’s house.
Since my parents are out of town they spoke with my sister for her to come home so I wouldn’t be by myself during the night. We live in a fairly safe area but it’s better to be safe than sorry. My mom allowed my sister and her SO to stay but I refused to allow him inside as I’ve never once met him and have only heard negative things about him when my sister rants about their arguments or toxic moments.
I am willing to sit down and properly meet him but I feel uncomfortable knowing there’s a person I’ve never met before sleeping in the room beside me.
I offered to cook dinner, order takeout, and go out to eat to properly meet my sister’s partner but she always declined and changed the subject and it made me wonder what was going on behind closed doors.
Am I in the wrong for not letting my sister’s SO stay over while my parents are out of town?”
26. AITJ For Being Annoyed By My Fiancé's Tardiness?
“My (24f) fiancé (25m) is always late. To the point where I can count the times he’s been on time, on my own two hands. We’ve been together for almost three years and throughout our entire time together, he’s always been late.
We’ve had a conversation about the fact that it upsets me that he’s always late, numerous times. I’ve explained that I value my time and I’m very busy, I’ve explained that I’m happy to make time for us to spend time together and I don’t mind making the time at all.
I work over 40 hours a week, have responsibilities around the house, school, a dog, etc. and I still make time for us. But he’s still always late. And when I say late, I don’t mean 5-10 minutes, I mean at least half an hour. He’s typically 30 minutes to an hour late, sometimes more.
If he’s running late, he won’t even say that he’s running late, he’ll just say that he’s 5 minutes away and then show up 30 minutes later.
I told him that the fact that he is always late makes me feel like I can’t rely on him for anything, and it makes me feel like he’s not being a good partner.
I also told him it makes me feel disrespected.
Every single time we’ve had a conversation about him being late, it always ends the same way. I tell him that it bothers me and why, and he tells me that he’s working on it and he’ll be mindful of it. And then the next time we make plans, he’s late.
The other day, we made plans to meet up for dinner and that I could pick him up from his apartment and we could go together for dinner after work. I made it to his apartment and I found out he wasn’t even home from work. I called him and asked where he was and he said he got caught in traffic and is on his way home.
He said he’d be there in a few minutes. I snapped.
From experience, I knew this meant he was at least 15 minutes away, it would take him 20 minutes to get ready and I would be stuck waiting around for him. I told him I’m going home and we can make plans another day.
He later texted me apologizing and explaining that he had a busy day at work and there was traffic, basically making the same excuses all over again. So, I told him exactly what I thought, I was direct and to the point, but not unkind. I told him that I’m not upset because he’s late just this one time, but because it’s a pattern and we’ve had so many conversations about it where I explained why this bothers me.
I told him that he couldn’t keep disrespecting me and my time like that.
Now, he’s mad at me because I didn’t just accept his apology and see ‘his perspective’ of it and left when we made plans together.
AITJ for leaving his apartment when we made plans because he was late, yet again?”
25. AITJ For Calling My Husband Misogynistic For His Comments About My Daughters' Haircuts?
“Today I was thinning my daughter’s hair ahead of the summer heat.
All of my girls have very thick hair and I thin it to make it more manageable for them, but do it more for the summer as it helps them keep cooler. My husband came in and made a comment or two about how I could or should not cut it short. I told him I was just thinning it.
The thing is, he constantly tells the girls when they get their haircuts (only 2-3x/yr) that he doesn’t like their hair short, he wants them to keep it long, he doesn’t like short hair – you get the picture.
He does this both before and after their hair is already cut. I pretty much let the girls tell me what they want me to do with their hair.
I’m not advanced at haircutting so I tell them if it is too complicated for me or, when they were a bit younger, if they wanted something bonkers that simply would not ever be like they were picturing. We’ve never had them melt down afterward saying they hated it or regretted it. Even standard things that are cliche ‘regret’ territory, like adding bangs, I give them a ‘waiting period’ to make sure it’s not too impulsive and they really want it.
So once again, today, I tell him that it’s not okay for him to police their haircuts. They’ve never asked for anything outside of very standard haircuts (even if they’ve taken off quite a bit of length at times) and they are always happy with what they get. He thinks he has the right, as their father, to tell them he wants them to keep their hair long, even if they don’t opt to because he has a personal preference for long hair.
We went back and forth on this. I ended up telling him that it’s misogynistic to behave this way because he has never had long hair, he has no way of knowing what it means to manage it and deal with it and have your hair be so heavy, etc., and he never will. He says that doesn’t matter because he’s their father and he can tell them what he likes, blah blah.
But it’s hurtful to a child to hear those comments when they come to him, proud of their new haircut! He doesn’t ever sound explicitly mean when he says it (more like whiny) but they are proud and pleased with how they look with their new hairdo and his comments take away that shine and I think that it sucks and is unkind.
Anyway, he’s mad because I called him misogynistic in front of our daughter and he doesn’t want her to hear something like that about him – so, she should just internalize negative comments that affect her self-image? Not on my watch, pal.
ETA: In my husband’s defense (he’s not at all ‘creepy’ or preoccupied about them being pretty), he has a weird hang-up about the ‘finality’ of cutting the hair short.
He keeps trying to defend himself by saying that he thinks they will regret it and be upset. This is not a huge issue between us, and at this point, he’s already apologized, but my bigger issue is that I’m trying to get him to accept different perspectives when they are presented to him, especially from more informed perspectives and consider them in the future as a way to grow as a person and be informed on other people’s viewpoints – rather than double down when confronted with the idea that he may be wrong and/or uninformed.
Overall, I want my girls to approach things like haircuts (if not life in general) as explicitly NOT final, that being afraid of a bad outcome shouldn’t preclude you from trying something new and exciting, whereas I guess he comes from a place where you’re better off keeping things the same.”
24. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Take Down Her Posts That Use My Stories And Experiences?
“My sister and I were very close when we were younger. She was my aunt’s daughter and her mum was a single mum so when she passed away my parents adopted her daughter who is now my sister.
We loved each other but she liked copying me and that included using my name. If anyone asked for her name and she didn’t want to say it she would use my middle name. I don’t use it that often and we are close so I didn’t mind it. But it got extreme when we were in our late teens.
She would catfish guys using my picture and I don’t know why she would do that. When I asked why she was doing that she said it was just for fun and she meant no harm. I dropped it because well, nothing could go wrong, right? Wrong!
Fast forward when she was 18 she reunited with her bio dad.
My parents were cool with it and she still comes over for weekends and holidays and still calls my parents mum and dad. Last week my best friend who is also her friend told me she had seen something shocking on social media and I should check my sister’s new post. I checked and found that she has been sharing my stories as her own.
It was already kinda weird that her social media info is all my info which she pretends to be hers. But this was extreme. She had shared my most traumatic experience which only my family and best friend knew about and yes, she had lied and made herself the one to experience it.
I waited until she came over on Friday before I confronted her about it.
I told her to take down the post because my traumatic experience is not for people to view and comment about. She said it can’t harm me because no one knows it’s me or anything. I pointed out all the other times she had used my name and identity which made her mad. She said I should stop making it sound like she was trying to steal my identity or something.
I went crazy and told her she has to take down the posts and she can post her own stories if she wants. Because those are my stories and she will never be me.
She has locked herself in her room since last night when I confronted her and I had to tell our parents what happened. Mum thinks I should have been nicer about it because she is my sister but Dad doesn’t think I was mean.
But she told her bio dad and he has been calling us names for bullying his daughter and threatening to not let her come over again. So am I the jerk for saying that to her?”
23. AITJ For Not Letting My Brother Live With Us?
“My brother (M 28) and I (M 30) didn’t grow up together. He grew up with our father and I grew up with our mother.
Once a month, he would go to my house so we could play and interact, and on summer break, I would go to my father’s house.
Since he was 7, he would steal things from my house when he’d get mad. If we had a small fight, really normal for children, he would take something with him in his pockets.
Nothing too expensive, things like food, pencils, etc. Some hours later, my Dad would bring him back and he would return what he got and he’d apologize.
As the years went by, it got worse. Our relatives started to notice and it got to a point where he was put into psychological treatment when he was 12.
This made our relationship fall apart and I just lost total interest in interacting with him.
When he was 14, he got addicted to illegal substances and was selling the things he’d steal from our relatives’ houses. He got smart, nobody would notice and even his treatment wasn’t helping.
Days before going to college I had a big fight with my family because he’d stolen some of my funds and they got really mad when I suggested putting him into a rehab we had in my city.
Days after I left, they agreed and he was put into rehab.
Almost 12 years later, without any type of contact with my family, my brother somehow got my number and called me, saying he’d need a house to stay in a few days as he was planning to break up with his partner.
I asked for our mom’s number and he gave it, so I called her and she updated me on what happened in those 12 years.
For the first 7 years, my brother got free from substance addiction and wasn’t stealing for them at all, but after that, he got back into smoking small amounts and expensive things were vanishing from my relatives after he’d visited them, but according to her: ‘Last year, we all talked to him and now he is not doing anything illegal anymore’.
But according to some other relatives, he is still doing illegal stuff, stealing, and I shouldn’t let him stay at my house.
I got confused so I found his social media profile and he still looks like an addict, but his partner looks like a good and healthy person, so I don’t think she is an addict.
Plus, it looks like they make good money, so I don’t understand why he’d be stealing.
Today, he called me and I told him I wouldn’t allow him to stay in my house. He got mad, saying he had nowhere to go, as none of our relatives, including our parents, would let him stay at their houses.
My partner thinks I should let him stay, but I think he might be a danger to our son (2 months old), as he doesn’t like children and he might be an addict still. AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go Bowling With My Wife's Friend Anymore?
“My wife (28) and I (29) have a friend. We’ll call him Kevin (35). My wife met Kevin through her work, where they are both restaurant managers in nearby branches of a local chain.
They saw each other for meetings and such and bonded over a mutual love of bowling. We’ve been bowling together several times, and Kevin has brought along his daughter Olivia (10).
However, it didn’t take long before Kevin started getting a little too friendly. He made it VERY CLEAR that he was single to her, and started bringing her Starbucks (which was out of his way) even if she didn’t ask for it.
There was even a time when the company went out for drinks and he couldn’t keep his hands off my wife. My wife definitely doesn’t want this attention, and I trust her completely.
On top of that, Kevin’s daughter Olivia seems to be in an awful situation. We’ve gotten to know her a bit through the bowling excursions, and it’s pretty clear that her parents aren’t treating her well.
She’s struggling in school, and even outright asked to see a therapist.
My wife feels awful about Olivia. She was in a similar situation as a kid and had to go through a lot of therapy herself. We’ve tried to engage with Olivia as much as possible, we occasionally help her with her homework.
Kevin won’t let us visit with Olivia unless we are all together.
We’ve tried inviting her along to other group things that just she would enjoy, and he has declined.
The problem is, Kevin makes me feel awful. He’s constantly bragging about himself, trying to take credit for Olivia’s accomplishments, or talking about all the amount he’s spent on expensive status symbols. He also hovers around both Olivia and my wife.
He makes us both uncomfortable.
I told my wife how terrible Kevin makes me feel, and she still has us go bowling with him and Olivia sometimes to check in with the kid. The problem is that Kevin knows this and will guilt my wife into another outing by using his child. For example: this time he picked a date to go on (that we didn’t agree to) saying ‘I told Olivia, and she’s so excited to see you guys!’
Last weekend we were supposed to go bowling, but I put my foot down and said we weren’t going anymore.
It’s obvious that Kevin is just using Olivia to get to my wife, and I’m not sure we’re doing much for the kid either way.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Not Wanting To Settle Down In Ireland?
“I (33F) moved to Ireland about 10 years ago for a Master’s degree and to escape from an arranged marriage.
I’m British Asian and about 3 years ago I managed to get Irish citizenship, which was one of the proudest days of my life. I have zero regrets about moving when I did and I loved spending my twenties in Ireland because of all the amazing friendships/memories I ended up making.
My fiancé (we shall call him Pierre) is Swiss and we both decided that we wanted to try having kids.
He mentioned that his family had recently renovated an old house they’d bought just next to a small town on the French border. My in-laws had said if we wanted it, we could have it as an early wedding present. I’m a bit torn about wanting to raise my kids in Ireland because we’ve been struggling to find a house that we like and in our budget plus things like childcare are unbelievably expensive.
Because of this, I’m seriously thinking about leaving and raising my kids in Switzerland instead. His family is there and has said they’d gladly help with the childcare side of things so that wouldn’t cost us much.
I went out with some friends for a meal recently and one of my friends brought his partner along.
I mentioned that I was most likely going to have left by the end of the year. His partner asked why and I mentioned I didn’t think it’d be wise to stay in the long term because of how expensive everything was. She glared at me and ignored me for the rest of the meal.
I got a message from her afterward telling me how I should be grateful that I have Irish citizenship, that I should stay, and that because I’m British I clearly became Irish for the ‘EU perks’. I got annoyed and told her to get lost but a part of me feels a bit guilty because I’d love to stay but I also need to be practical.
AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Ignoring My Neighbor's Complaints About My Dog's Barking?
“We’ve been neighbors for 9 years. My wife and I are their adult children’s age, and they were retirement age at the time.
They are now in their 70s, and being retired, they have ALL DAY to focus on tons of little things while we live a normal life.
The husband has always been a ‘Male Karen’ and loves to provide unsolicited comments on what ‘I should be doing.’
I just rolled with it over the years and ignored him, but things started to change after our dog died about 2 years ago, and we eventually got a new dog.
His immediate comment when we put up a fence was ‘That dog better not bark’, and this should’ve been a sign that things were going to sour.
I’d like to make it clear that our dog is never allowed outside alone and we have enough common decency to not allow our dog to be barking all day or night.
One day after work, my wife said that Male Karen had cornered her stating that our dog was barking profusely and bothering them. My wife was distressed saying he was aggressive with her, but I thought she was embellishing a little given my past interactions with him.
A month passed and he approached me aggressively one day stating that the dog was barking incessantly all day long and ‘waking up his wife’ and that ‘you’re leaving her unattended outside for hours’.
He even pointed his finger in my face.
I did not back down and called him out on his nonsense. I reminded him that we are home all day long and that anytime the dog is outside someone is with her… and that she is NEVER left outside late at night so he is outright lying to my face.
I got so mad that I just walked away back inside. From that moment, my family has basically done everything in our power to ignore them. I asked other neighbors if my dog was bothering them, and none said that they ever heard her bark at all.
Today I was in the backyard with my son.
Both Male Karen and his wife decided to approach me to talk to me about the situation across the fence. I made it 100% clear that I was not interested in talking due to the past interaction. I turned my back to them and just went back to my business.
They continued pushing the subject as if suddenly nothing was wrong and they wanted to make amends.
I don’t want to speak with them at all and was trying to take the high road with them but they kept poking me in front of my son.
I literally exploded! I was so frustrated with how he treated us before, along with years of random nonsense. I was yelling at the top of my lungs and left zero doubt that a line was drawn in the sand.
I gave them the finger and verbatim said ‘Get screwed and don’t ever talk to my family again.’ We immediately went inside to get away from the altercation.
I acted this way because they had pushed me past the point of no return and started a confrontation in front of my child, & I won’t pretend that everything is OK when it clearly isn’t.
AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Crying When My Partner Ate My Food?
“My partner moved in with me 3 years ago (I had the nicer spot). We split all bills 50/50, including the groceries. We also both tend to throw a few things in the cart that are just for us, which hasn’t really been much of an issue.
When we go out to eat, I almost always end up with leftovers to bring home.
At first, he would ask if he could eat them or take them for lunch, and I would almost always say yes. However, in the last 2 years, he’s stopped asking and just takes things. He also will eat up all of the snacks. I started buying two boxes of things, one in a flavor he prefers and one in a flavor I prefer, but he’ll end up finishing his box and then eating mine, too.
It makes me feel really anxious about my food, especially things I am excited to eat. I’ll eat until I’m sick at a restaurant because I know that if I bring the food home, he’ll eventually eat it. If I ask him not to eat something he’ll refrain for 24 hours, but if I don’t eat it by then, he says that I am wasting food.
Recently I had a very stressful day at work, and was looking forward all day to the leftovers of a dinner I had made the night before, which is my favorite meal. When I got home, he had eaten all of it (probably 3 portions worth). I was so upset that I started crying. I told my partner that I had looked forward to it and that we didn’t have the ingredients for it anymore, and I was too tired to spend so much time cooking.
He feels that I’m overreacting and crying just to manipulate him and make him feel bad.
I know it’s silly to be upset over it, but it makes me feel like I’m crazy. I sometimes hide food in our guest room closet just to make sure I will have a treat when I want it.
I feel like he was a jerk for eating all of the food I worked hard to make, but I may have overreacted.”
18. AITJ For Being Mad About My Significant Other's Relationship With His Best Friend?
“My significant other (23M) and I (21F) have been together for 2 years. He has a best friend named Jenna (23F). Jenna came off as down-to-earth and friendly to me so I never had a problem with her. Recently, it all changed.
Jenna has been in a relationship with Ben (25M) for 6 years, but their relationship was always rocky because Ben was ‘tired of dealing with her nonsense constantly.’ Because of that, Jenna often confided in my SO about EVERYTHING. She started off by texting him to rant. It gradually progressed to calls, video calls, and eventually just hanging out at his apartment for dinner almost every night to talk.
I understood Jenna needed someone to listen to her, so although it bothered me to an extent, I kept quiet about it. However, the last straw was when she called my SO 6 times (yes, I counted) while we were out on our anniversary dinner, which she was well aware of because we both posted on our stories.
Eventually, I was infuriated and expressed my displeasure. My SO immediately declined her call and ignored her throughout the weekend. I thought that was the end of it, but Jenna continued to text and call him throughout the next week.
I told my SO that, while Jenna is his best friend, there needed to be boundaries between friends, too, and Jenna’s behavior was simply unacceptable.
I can tolerate and accept it to a certain extent, but not to this extent.
Here’s where I might be the jerk. I then called Jenna from my SO’s phone. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable with her spending the night at my SO’s apartment and constantly texting/calling him throughout the day. So, I asked her to please be mindful of the boundaries that friends should have and treat my SO like her friend, and not her SO.
Jenna sounded understanding at first, and I immediately felt bad for blowing up on her. She apologized and I thought we were cool, but lo and behold, she called my SO after I had gone home and cried to him about how my words deeply hurt her and that I was exaggerating the whole situation.
She asked if she could come over to my SO’s place because she didn’t think she should be alone right now after such a traumatic experience. My SO rejected her, knowing it was inappropriate and that it would make me uncomfortable.
Jenna proceeded to go on live to crap on me. She told everyone exaggerated accounts of the incident and called me a jerk for trying to steal her best friend from her.
She made sure to mention me by name multiple times, so now all of her friends are leaving hate comments and even calling me to tell me I’m a jerk.
So, am I really the jerk?”
17. AITJ For Not Wanting To Get Involved In My Friend's Wedding?
“My friend has long been divorced. She has one teenage daughter her ex has primary custody of, though she gets her every other weekend. She confided to me she loves her daughter, but never really liked being a Mom and sometimes wishes she’d never had her.
Has no intention to EVER get pregnant again.
She’s had bad luck with relationships. Making things worse, she’s a wedding photographer and is constantly surrounded by opulent symbols of romance and effusive declarations of love.
She gets lonely, bitter, and drinks.
One night she goes out & meets this much younger guy at her favorite bar.
He tells her he just got out of jail, has no car, and lives with his Mom.
My friend sleeps with him a few times and ferries him back & forth to the other town he lives in for their next few ‘dates.’ She gets mad he hasn’t ‘asked her to be his significant other yet’ after sleeping together multiple times, so he does.
Fast forward 5 months later and now they’re living together and are ‘engaged.’ My friend has decided to make him her ‘photography assistant’ so he ‘has a job.’ She gave him $$$ for it and picked out her own ring.
She started planning her ‘dream wedding’ & wanted me in on it.
I was opposed to this wedding happening so fast. I asked her what was going to happen when he wanted kids and she said “He doesn’t,’ so then I reminded her he’s only 22 and his feelings could easily change.
When he’s 30, she’ll be 49. What if he then really wants a biological child?
She wanted to fly her entire family out from across the country so they could witness the happy event.
(Apparently, the only family he has is a brother who is incarcerated and his mom who, big surprise, is against the wedding and won’t go.)
I saw my friend racking up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt buying airline tix and making other aspects of her ‘dream wedding’ happen.
She wanted to rent out the bar they met in and redecorate it as ‘The Chapel of Second Chances.’
I just think all of this is NUTS.
Honestly, I’m uncomfortable participating in planning this wedding & don’t want to be a part of it, as a bridesmaid or maid of honor or anything like that.
This guy is nice enough, kind of dumb, I just have a bad feeling about all this.
AITJ for wanting to walk away & just tell her I’m out?”
16. AITJ For Asking For Monetary Gifts?
” “I have two children, a 10-year-old son and a daughter who is turning 8 soon. She has medical conditions that have resulted in her hip deteriorating and obviously cause her to have limited mobility. She has reached the point where she needs to use her wheelchair full-time. When her mobility started to decrease we turned the office on the ground floor of the house into her bedroom and the bathroom off of it is her own private bathroom.
She’s in line to get a hip replacement when she’s older but she’s too young for it currently.
While she was able to spend some time out of the chair she was still able to go to the top floor of the house to spend time in her brother’s room or just go to other rooms but sometimes we’d have to carry her up, this obviously isn’t practical in the long term as we won’t always be able to do it and now it causes her discomfort.
We are saving up for a chairlift for her but they’re pricey and we’ve been knocked back for a grant to help us get one as it’s not ‘needed’ in our case as her bedroom, bathroom, etc. is all on the ground floor never mind that she’s more isolated down there and unable to move about her house freely.
We talked it over with her and she agreed that she’d rather have the chairlift sooner than more toys. So I sent out word to all our family asking if they could chip in whatever amount they’d planned to spend on a gift no matter how small towards the stair lift as even just a small amount will help us reach the goal faster.
I figured this was fine and no one would have any problems with it.
A couple of members of the family have stated they feel uncomfortable with us asking for monetary gifts for this though a wider majority are fine with this. Their reason for being uncomfortable is they don’t feel it’s right for us to ask for money and it’s in poor taste and they don’t like feeling pressured to deviate from whatever they’d planned. I told them if they’d already bought stuff before I reached out that was of course fine it’s just this felt more needed for her wellbeing than even more toys but they haven’t bought anything and insist it’s not right for me to ask this.
15. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Abide By Our House Rules Or Move Out?
“My wife while coming from a well-off home is thrifty in the kitchen. She believes that food waste is terrible. We have a leftover day and my wife believes in composting and is active in community gardens and farmers markets.
She also believes in upcycling items and reusing them or selling things at the farmers market.
My family thinks she’s a fanatic but it’s something she and her friends enjoy.
My sister fell on hard times and recently left a horrible relationship and has two kids.
She moved in and has repeatedly called my wife stupid.
My sister isn’t working and receives Snap and WIC benefits. The problem is my sister and her kids are wasteful of their food and my wife has offered to help my sister learn to can or even make her own baby food. My sister said no. She refused to compost basic items such as coffee and didn’t separate recyclables.
She thinks leftover days are stupid and we make enough money and she’s sick of my wife’s stupid nonsense rules. Her words.
My wife tried to show her what can be composted again and asked her to help at a farmer’s market with her hoping to get her more involved in the community.
There are also children for my nephews to play with and other parents she can connect with. It has an overall positive impact. My sister refused.”
14. AITJ For Refusing To Cut Down My Wedding Guest List?
“My fiancée Emily (27F) and I (26M) are planning our wedding and having an issue. I absolutely love Emily, she is smart, gorgeous, independent, and supportive. But this is the one time I’ve been frustrated and needed a verdict.
So we are planning out our guest list and it is becoming an issue. Emily comes from a small scattered family. A dad, a mom, a step-sibling, 1 grandparent, 1 uncle/aunt, 1 cousin and a few other relatives. She isn’t that close to a lot of her HS friends anymore. So her entire guest list is less than 15 people.
She only had 3 girls she wanted as bridesmaids.
Well, I come from an American-Italian family. My immediate family (grandparents, uncles/aunts, cousins) is over 100 people. I also played sports competitively in high school and was in a frat in college. I also play golf and softball now. I have a large network of friends, frat brothers, high school friends, teammates, and family friends that I want to invite.
My guest list (after trimming some) was over 175 people. Emily has been complaining about this. Not about the cost (my parents/family are helping a ton) but that ‘her’ side is way outnumbered. I told her that was ridiculous because everyone was there for both of us. But she kept saying how self-conscious this made her.
So I tried compromising. We said no kids under 16 in order to eliminate some of my family. I also said no plus ones for anyone not married. I also had to cut my groomsman way down after she could only find 3 bridesmaids. I had to make like 6 ushers so I could include them in the wedding party.
I also had the idea of some of my family/friends wearing a button that said ‘team bride’ on them to show support for Emily. But she keeps complaining and saying I need to cut down the list. She won’t even give a number that I need to trim to. Just to where it ‘isn’t as noticeable’.
I finally snapped last night and told her to get over it. That nobody cares how many people each person has. And that I’m not cutting out important people in my life because she is anti-social and doesn’t like making friends. And that there is time before the wedding to go make friends if that bothers her.
But I’m not kicking out my friends to make her feel better about the situation. And that I’ve compromised a lot already. AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Not Letting My Ex Use My Car After I Crashed Hers?
“When my ex and I first met we both had a car each. I sold my car as we didn’t need two when she and her kids moved in.
We all went to the cinema in her car but her daughter wanted to leave so I offered to leave and take her to the park.
On the way back to the cinema I went down a one-way street incorrectly (the day before it was one way but in the direction I was going, I don’t live in the town so wasn’t aware of the change but still my fault for not seeing the new signs).
A few cars were coming towards us so I reversed but ended up hitting a bollard.
I went back to the cinema and explained what happened.
I said I would pay to fix the boot as it was only cosmetic damage or we could go through the insurance. She said she would think about it.
In the meantime, we went out and got a new car. Or rather I got a new car.
The finance is in my name and so is the log book. My ex never contributed towards the car itself. Only the insurance.
She then told me she sold her car to her ex without any discussion for a low amount. I had no say in the matter.
When we broke up I said she could use my car when she has our daughter but I found it hard not having my car.
Then she was told by her doctors that she could no longer drive. However, she refuses to give me my key back because when she can drive again she expects to have the car again.
She keeps saying I crashed her car and so she is entitled to it. I call nonsense on that excuse.
I don’t want to give her my car but I know she can’t afford one.
Edit: I have my car but she has a key to it that she won’t give back.”
12. AITJ For Leaving The House To Collect My Thoughts?
“My wife (28) and I (25) are expecting another baby in 2 months. I have both OCD and ADHD, so I bother my wife a lot, even when I’m not taking care of her. Pregnancy is something I can’t control, which makes me incredibly anxious.
I started to clean as a way to relieve anxiety and give in to my compulsions. I was even worse during her last pregnancy, going as far as making her get a scan almost every single day and pushing her to read articles on pregnancy.
My mother regularly visits to help around, but she couldn’t last week, so I was on my own.
A lot of things happened on that day. I made one mistake after another, which ultimately led to the following scenario.
My wife was eating breakfast in our bed and signaled for me to come and kiss her, but I refused because crumbs were all over her. She was annoyed, although she decided not to say anything.
While I was cooking her pregnancy craving, I made a careless mistake and ruined the whole meal. She, again, didn’t say anything and I constantly asked her for reassurance, which annoyed her a little. She asked me to help her change, but I basically ran away from her when I saw a stain on her shirt.
Throughout the entire day, I kept cleaning and reminding her to stay clean.
When our son took his nap, we decided to rest as well. She wanted me to read her a book but never specified which one. I brought my favorite book and started reading it to her. She told me to stop after a few pages.
She was talking to me about something and I drifted off into another world. I couldn’t recall anything she said and I could tell she was starting to get tired of me. I kept walking around our room and fidgeting because of stress, which rightfully irritated her. She asked me to get her prescription before going to bed. I brought it to her and once I saw the uneven numbers on the receipt, I took it and tore it apart.
This was the last straw. She told me I made her feel dirty and needed to stop being obsessive. I’m trying to overcome OCD, but even with treatment, it’s not going away. I didn’t want to ruin her day any further so I left to walk around the city and indulge in my thoughts.
At around 2 am I got a call from her.
Our son had awakened and she was left to take care of him all by herself, which was quite a handful for her. She didn’t call me earlier because she didn’t want to stress me out, which only makes me feel guilty.
When I came back home, she looked like crap and seemed to be over what happened, but I still feel like a jerk for my decision to leave her.
My friends told me it wasn’t my fault, but I have a feeling they’re wrong. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Telling My Husband's Friend My Half-Brother Is My Daughter's Son?
“I (F 40s) have two biological children, Anya (F 20) and Damian (M 17) with my husband. When they were younger, I took them overseas to my home country partially for personal reasons but also so they could learn my culture while their father stayed behind to work on his business.
While there, I learned my elderly father had another child (Lloyd) and no one wanted him.
I felt guilty that a child was in this situation and my kids fell in love with him so after talking to my husband and BiL, we adopted my half-brother and took him back when we returned to my husband’s country.
Anya and Lloyd are physically twins and due to their close bond are often mistaken as mother and son – a long-running joke Damien instigated.
Present Day: My husband’s friend Yuri returned some time ago and is showing strange attention to Anya that he never expressed when she was growing up. It’s been bugging me, but my husband brushed it off.
So, here’s where I may be the jerk. At Damian’s graduation party, I went up to Yuri who was watching Anya and Lloyd play Hide n Seek. Yuri mentioned the similarities and remarked how Lloyd is a great practice when Anya becomes a mother. Without thinking I said, ‘Eventually? Didn’t Franky (Hubby) tell you?’
After more probing and sweating on his part, I told him that Lloyd was from a relationship Anya had overseas but due to the culture Franky and I are raising Lloyd as our own. As if on cue Lloyd comes over calling me ‘GranGran’ and asking where ‘Mommy Anya’ went. He left soon afterward, saying something came up.
Later I talked to Damian about it and he laughed his head off which attracted Franky. After telling him about it, Franky wasn’t pleased and asked if I was trying to jeopardize Anya’s reputation. It’s been a week and he’s still upset so now I’m rethinking it and wondering if I was wrong.”
However he may well, come and offer to marry her so that her reputation is kept intact... I kind of understand why hubby is mad however he needs to be mad at HOS FRIEND for ogling his daughter not at you his wife for protecting her from a letch
10. AITJ For Calling Out My Dad For Not Being A Good Father To Me?
“Last night I (17f) had an opportunity to get a car from a family member.
The deal I had worked out with them was that I would test drive the car, make sure I like it, and then when I got accepted by a job, I’d get the car and pay them monthly. About $300 a month for a year.
My dad (38m) drove me to their house to check the car out last night, and this is where things went downhill.
For context, my dad and I have always had a horrible relationship as he’s very controlling and explodes easily. He had already said he was in agreement when we talked it over with my mom, but as soon as he got me in the car he took my phone and started going on about how this was a terrible idea and that there was no guarantee that I would get a job.
I told him that I already had one lined up, and if worst came to worst, I would give the car back to MY family member. This turned into ‘Well you’re not responsible enough, you never do your schoolwork, you never do dishes, you never clean, you think the world is rainbows and sunshine etc, etc.’
I am the oldest in my family. There are 6 kids. I spend the majority of my time watching them and keeping the house liveable. It is not sparkling but the dishes are done and the floor is clean 95% of the time. I have been lazy as a younger teen but have greatly improved. My dad is never home and only hears about my failures as that’s when I need to be punished. I have also had jobs before and all these things were never an issue – until I wanted my own car.
When he finally stopped yelling I was angry and crying. He did the ‘I’m sorry I’m such a horrible father that makes you cry, but you need a dose of reality.’
This is when I said: ‘You are never home and don’t see what I do. I have all A+s on my report card except in math.
Just because I have an outward personality of being optimistic doesn’t mean I have no sense of what’s realistic and what’s not. You are purposely holding me back from moving out and having my own life. Besides, eventually, you’re going to have to let me fall on my face. That’s what happens when you become an adult.’
He is now giving me the silent treatment after calling me a jerk. So am I?”
9. AITJ For Bringing My Own Pillow?
“I’m (F 20) a very sensitive sleeper. I have a hard time adjusting to most types of pillows and I usually prefer my own custom-made cotton pillow over anything. I usually try to adjust if I’m staying overnight somewhere but it takes me a long time to fall asleep and makes me feel uncomfortable. Also, this thing started bugging me from my teenage years.
It hasn’t always been a problem.
My whole extended family decided to take a vacation together this summer near the beach and all of us were looking forward to the trip. We booked a log cabin for a three-night stay. Since it was a vacation and I had a lot of activities planned, it was important for me to sleep comfortably at night.
So I decided to pack my pillow along with other things. Four of us cousins were supposed to stay in one big room with two beds. When they saw me bringing my own pillow they started laughing and made jokes about it. I didn’t mind since it was all friendly banter and we were having a good time.
The next morning when we were all having breakfast, the topic came naturally and my cousins were still making light jokes about it. But my aunt got really quiet and upset. She asked me if I didn’t trust her judgment when she booked this place. And if I think of myself better than every other kid in here who needs special treatment for her highness.
She said all of it in a sarcastic way but I could tell she was annoyed. One of my uncles and the cousins tried to drop the topic saying they were just joking and she was getting too serious.
I told her it was nothing like that and that I just sleep better with my own pillow.
She dismissed me and commented that I can’t live in a bubble everywhere and that I need to learn to adapt to the real world out there. My mom later scolded me about why couldn’t I just adjust but I got mad at her for not saying anything to her sister back there. Mom said aunt is just looking out for me and to treat her with respect as she is elderly.
So AITJ here for bringing my pillow and trying to be better than everyone else apparently?”
8. AITJ For Ordering For My Brother?
“My family was supposed to meet for dinner last night at seven. We were seated at 7:15, but my brother was still running late. My dad texted him and he said he was almost there. We had received drinks and apps, but by 7:45 everyone wanted their main course.
I texted my brother to ask what he wanted, and he said he was almost there, again. I texted him to just tell me what he wants. He didn’t respond.
I could tell my mom was getting upset, so I just ordered my brother the pork dish because he loves pork and usually will order it if it’s on a menu.
No one disagreed with my choice. The food arrives and my brother runs in a few minutes later. Mom points to his plate and says he’s right on time.
My brother got mad and asked who ordered for him. I said I did. He asked me why I felt it was okay to do that.
I said because we were all hungry and didn’t want to wait. He said he had a good reason for being late (had to run an errand). I said we weren’t mad, we just didn’t want to wait. He said he wouldn’t eat it.
My mom snapped at him that he didn’t have to eat it but he needed to sit down because everyone was staring.
When the waitress came by he sent the dish back. He didn’t order any other food though, just a drink that he grumpily nursed the rest of the evening. He also ignored us the entire night.
On the one hand, I was just trying to make the evening go smoothly. On the other hand, it backfired. One friend I mentioned this to asked why we couldn’t order and then he order when he arrived. I was always under the impression the table should order at the same time so the food can arrive at the same time and no one has to wait around and the restaurant can flip the table.
However, maybe that would have been better.
AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Yelling At My Stepfather For Reading My And My Grandma's Letters?
“Two weeks ago, a new order was unveiled by a judge for a long-time custody dispute over me (15f) and my twin sister.
Last year, we lived equally at my mom’s house and my dad’s house. It completely changed when my stepfather, we’ll call him Dave, married my mom.
We moved an hour away from my dad’s house, switched schools, and were forced to only see him 4 days a month, two days every other weekend. It changed to 8 hours every other weekend, and now it’s 2-hour supervised visits every other weekend. I am not allowed to contact my father. I’ve asked to stay at my grandparent’s house a couple of times before this whole thing went down, all of which went negatively.
I had been texting my grandmother and grandfather for the entire time this was happening, and I had exchanged letters with my grandmother a couple of times. She is extremely supportive of me and my sister, and she practically raised us until we started school. I recently found out that she had developed major COPD due to her lifetime of smoking, so the communication was growing more frequent.
I asked my mom if we could go to my grandparents’ house for a week while I was out of school, our father not being there, of course. She told me they would think about it.
Yesterday, I asked Dave about going over to my grandparents’ house and how they were feeling about it. He said that after he and my mother had read the letters she had sent me, which I had NEVER given them, and were hidden somewhere that a man should never look, that I couldn’t.
I was mad! I screamed at him that those letters were my and my grandma’s only way to privately talk about what was going on with the court issue, and that had been violated with no thought whatsoever. He and my mom later mentioned that they also read our texts, which mostly consisted of book ideas and other harmless topics.
They accused both me and my grandmother of trying to manipulate them to spend more time with my dad, called me yelling at Dave ‘Unnecessary’ and ‘Shocking’, and banned me from any contact with my grandma. After that, went into my room to think, and thought that I might’ve done something wrong, so am I the jerk here?
EDIT: The changes were about 3-6 months apart. The reason is that my dad refused to give my mom’s lawyers his medical records. He had a drinking problem, but not anymore.”
6. AITJ For Not Accepting My Dad's Apology And Not Giving Him A Chance To Make It Up To Me?
“My (18f) parents have never liked each other, and as a result, I usually get caught in the middle. They don’t live together, but they fight like an unhappy married couple.
Normally it’s manageable but sometimes I just remove myself from the situation.
I was meant to be going to Amsterdam with my significant other next week, and my dad was meant to be booking the flights as an early birthday present to me, but he got into a fight with my mom on Sunday when they were still cheap and ended up deciding not to book them.
I wouldn’t be so mad if he didn’t promise, or if I hadn’t booked a non-refundable hotel. The flights are way too expensive for me or my mom to afford, even combined, my SO is doing her best but it just doesn’t seem possible.
My dad called me this morning to give some half-meant apology and a promise to make it up to me.
He told me it shouldn’t even matter as much because illegal substances are also accessible in my home country, but we weren’t even going for the illegal substances, it was meant to be for the other aspects. I told him all of this and he just didn’t seem to care.
I told him to please leave me alone, and he apologized again.
I told him I don’t care for an apology, and I’ll have a hard time ever being able to trust him again, especially since now I’m out 100s, and he just doesn’t care about it. He got mad, saying it was not his fault, and instead my mom’s, yadda yadda.
My mom thinks I was too harsh on him, especially since I don’t know what they were disagreeing about and maybe she’s right.
Maybe I was too harsh and he could’ve been really upset at the time and it slipped his mind. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Wanting To Spend My Own Money To Buy What I Need For My Work?
“I’m a teacher. Spending your own money in your classroom is expected. For context: my district does not buy supplies for students. Families are expected to have students show up to school with supplies. This does not happen. In a class of 24, I can expect 10 have brought supplies.
In the past, I have gone around this by applying for grants and donations.
I would just buy the supplies myself with these funds. It’s worked for 9 years!
Now my district will not allow teachers to do these avenues unless we fill out a paper on how all kids (not just your class) will benefit, why we need it, how will it support student learning, how will it improve equity, etc.
That would be fine, but I also have to get signatures from my building principal, and the assistant superintendent, and the school board has to vote for approval. This is all required to APPLY for a grant.
I’m so exhausted from having to jump through these hoops just to get chart paper for my students or colored pencils for their groups.
Three notebooks per kid add up! So I decided enough is enough.
Then my district decreased our teacher stipend for supplies. We used to get $250 for classroom supplies (this is to cover everything except desks, chairs, a projector, a document camera, and a whiteboard). It’s now only $150. It’s like they are forcing teachers to spend their own money to get what we need. With the rise in cost of everything, I’m not even sure what I can get for $150 that will help my class from the start.
The cherry on top! My building principal wants each of us to BUY a shirt to match this thing she is doing to build community. I am so exhausted in the norm being that teachers pay out of pocket that I just said no.
Am I the jerk? Teachers always buy out of pocket. Am I a jerk for thinking I can change that?
Am I a jerk for being in a profession where this is the norm and I shouldn’t complain?”
4. AITJ For Wanting My Son To Have A Relationship With His Bio Father?
“I have three kids – twins (23M & F) Ella and Steven, and John (17M). John was the result of me having an affair on Ella and Steven’s father, Rob, with John’s father, Harry.
Harry ran away after he found out I was pregnant. Rob found out about the affair 3 years later. The kids were still young so we didn’t tell them the truth about why we divorced at the time. Rob still loved John and cared for him which surprises me considering John isn’t his biological son.
Harry came back into contact with me when John was 10, and although I was a little bitter, I eventually forgave him and we fell in love and got married. They didn’t dislike Harry, but they weren’t close with him which, in John’s case, hurt Harry since he is John’s real father.
It became bad when John was 16. Harry wanted to do something with John, but John said no. Harry snapped and said that they never spent time as father and son, which caused John to say: ‘Look, I don’t hate you or anything but I don’t see you as my dad, so stop trying to force me to see you as him.
I have a dad and he’s not you.’ I couldn’t take it anymore, and I asked John if he would be saying that if Harry was really his father. John looked confused and it was then I told him the truth, and that his behavior was hurting Harry. That caused John to cry, and he ran to his room.
Ella went to comfort him and Steven glared at me and said ‘I hope you’re happy you broke that poor kid cause of your butthurt feelings.’
It’s been a year since then, and I think my kids forgive me, but still aren’t close with Harry. Recently, it was Harry’s birthday and he wanted me and John to spend it with him.
John, however, decided that he wanted to watch a movie with his friend. I told him that Harry wanted to spend time with him. He said that he was going anyway and that I was free to ground him when he gets back.
When John got back, I told him that his behavior towards Harry was horrible.
He told me that he’s nice to Harry, but that Rob is his dad. I asked what the point of me telling him the truth was if he was just going to be like this.
He snapped ‘Don’t act like you told me the truth for my sake. You told me the truth out of spite and jealousy because I wouldn’t see your affair partner as my dad.
And to be frank, I still don’t so your little plan didn’t work.’ And he went to his room.
My older kids got wind of what happened, and they called to berate me and told me to stop pushing John to love Harry. I told him that I get that John loves Rob, but Harry is his blood father.
Ella told me I was wrong, that Rob was the one who raised John, therefore Rob is his father. Steven said he’s going to rescue his bro the minute he turns 18 which is in a few weeks. I tried to get Rob to talk to John, but he said he wasn’t forcing his son to love Harry.
I just don’t understand. Am I really wrong for wanting my son to love his blood father?
AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Not Wearing Pads Or Tampons?
To start, free bleeding is essentially not wearing any form of protection on your period (so you are bleeding freely – clues in the name).
I’m currently staying at my MIL’s house with my husband for a family get-together (six birthdays in one week).
I have horrifically painful periods and bad mobility. I can not use cups and am allergic to all brands of pads I’ve used. I do have cloth pads but I only brought a couple of small ones for my trip as I wasn’t due until days after we got home, but we’re on day four of our trip and I started my period on our first night.
I tried to use some disposable pads I picked up but I broke out in a rash and have blisters everywhere they should not be, so two days ago I decided to say whatever and free bleed as I do at home.
I bring my own towels to my MIL’s, so I have been sitting and sleeping on those.
I have bled through twice but cleaned the mess and left no stain.
My MIL is mad, to say the least. She’s disgusted by my lack of decorum and carrying my bloody towel around everywhere. She also hates that I’m washing them in her machines and is now saying we need to pay to have them professionally cleaned (which we will do).
Everything kinda came to a head last night when she lost it on me for ‘behaving like an animal’. She wanted me to leave, but my husband stay, which isn’t possible (one car, I can’t drive that far, especially not with the amount of pain I’m in).
My husband is on damage control but I just feel so bad.
Am I in the wrong here? I understand that it’s not super sanitary but my health matters more than some bed sheets. I’ll replace them if she wants.
I’m close to just gritting my teeth through the pain and putting a pad on, but I really don’t want to. I don’t want open sores down there when we’re driving home – sitting for that long will suck.
AITJ? I feel like I’m choosing the lesser of two evils but now I don’t know.”
2. AITJ For Scolding My Daughter For Her Behavior Toward Our Guests?
“Recently, my (F 45) terminally ill aunt died a week after summer break started. (After a few months of her quick deterioration and just a few days of being in hospice because she had no response to treatment.)
My daughter (18) has always been a closed-off, reserved person. However, she’s a little immature when she doesn’t get what she wants, and is very snide and in your face sometimes during those occasions.
When my aunt died, my sister came over and has been here ever since, for about four weeks now, when we arranged the funeral and reception.
My daughter did not cry or look upset at all, even though she’d sometimes go to look after her greataunt on the days her greatuncle needed to go out since she was bedbound and completely paralyzed and unable to speak. You’d expect some sort of reaction, right? But she had none. She’d avoid her greataunt a lot and never talked to me about her.
For this reason, I assumed she was just detached as a lot of children usually are, and left her alone. However, since her aunt and her three young children came to stay, she has been very bratty and complains when she has to clean up after them because they’re quite spoiled. She’s like this every time they come to stay because my sister is quite an unhygienic person and she and her children have had lice for years.
She didn’t say anything to them since my aunt was grieving, so she hid in her room for the whole day because she felt ‘stuffy’ and ‘repulsed.’ Always asking me when they will leave. I understand why she feels this way, I don’t like how the children and my sister crowd my home and do not clean up after themselves.
But they’re family, and we’re grieving even if she’s not.
She even hated the reception, not serving the guests (family and family friends.) and looking annoyed when I told her to, as she said she just wanted to ‘sit there.’ It was very embarrassing for me. All she needed to do was hand out water.
I told her not to be too mean, as they’re family and her aunt is grieving, but she, being immature, narrowed her eyes at me and told me she feels trapped in this house, wanting space, before she went back to her room, even when I ask her to come downstairs and spend time with me.
She’s usually a sweet girl. Very smart and mature, even emotionally, and very perceptive, but for the past few weeks she’s been more reclusive and bratty than usual, even more so than other times when her aunt has been around. Am I right in being dismissive of her attitude and ‘feelings’? It seems to me, as of recently, there’s been a bad change in her.
Even if she doesn’t care about her greataunt dying, someone who has taken care of her before developing this illness and who she has known since she was young, she should at least think of her aunt’s needs.
Honestly, I’m quite annoyed. My mother told me I should just leave her alone to herself, but she needs to be kinder.”
1. AITJ For Telling My Son He Can't Call His Current Job "Work"?
“My son recently graduated college and I let him move back in (for free) while he looks for an actual job. I don’t expect any rent out of him as I want him to save up for when he moves out. He is currently a server at a safari café in our local zoo. Now my son had a great work ethic in school, he graduated cum laude with a STEM degree, but now he doesn’t.
He frequently comes home upset about annoyances with his job and customers, he himself has told me that he only does enough to get by, and he always comes home ‘exhausted’ after a shift. He complains constantly about things that are small issues and it leaves me annoyed as it comes across as him being spoiled and entitled. He complains about his hours which are less than 40 hours a week, complains about how hot it is outside, and whines that he doesn’t get a lunch break when he again works at a restaurant and isn’t working a full 8-hour shift.
Recently he came home angry about another issue. He of course offloaded it onto me and told me that his manager scheduled him for 12 days straight starting after his next off day. This was apparently to compensate for a few of the servers going back to college and his restaurant being short-staffed. I told him to look at the bright side, he would be making overtime on his next check and he would get more tables which means he would get more tips.
He told me that he wanted his weekends. I reminded him that all he does on his weekends is sit in his room playing his PlayStation and that he’s better off making more money. I told him that he was acting like a spoiled brat who was afraid of doing some extra work and that when I was in the military I sometimes worked 16-hour shifts for 4 weeks straight with no off days and 12 days isn’t that long.
He told me that he still didn’t want to and that he was likely going to speak to his manager about it the next time he was there. I advised him against it and he said he just doesn’t want to work for 12 days straight. I told him that he doesn’t work, he just has a job.
He takes orders and brings out food. Sure it’s hot outside and he has to walk a bit but he’s not doing any actual work and he can call it work when he has a serious job, but for now he’s better off just going to his job and raking in a little extra income to walk back and forth from tables and talk to people.
He decided he didn’t have anything to say back and stormed off.
The next day, his older sister called me to tell me that I should apologize apparently he was very butthurt by what I said and she felt I owed him an apology and that I was wrong to minimize what he was feeling.
I told her that he’s a grown man and he can approach me and demand an apology if he so chooses but if he can’t defend his laziness I won’t be apologizing.
AITJ?”
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