People Await Advice For Their Relatable "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

Maintaining our relationships with others necessitates being considerate of their feelings and treating them with respect. Nobody wants a negative reputation or to be associated with someone who intentionally hurts or causes harm to others. By being attentive to our actions, we may avoid being a jerk and instead create a welcoming and supportive environment for others around us. However, because of their previous unpleasant behavior, these people below have been labeled as jerks. They are now asking for our help in determining whether or not they deserve to be hated. As you read on, tell us who you think the jerks are. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

36. AITJ For Thinking About Not Going To The Gym With My Significant Other Anymore?

“My significant other (18M) and I (18F) recently had an argument over the phone about going to the gym together. For context, he goes to the gym regularly, and I have never once stepped foot inside one. He’s asked me in the past to try going once or twice, but usually, I’m busy with work and college so I can’t fit in another routine.

However, now I’m transitioning to online college and will have more free time, therefore I can try going to the gym. Because of this, I presented the idea to him and it turned into a massive argument.

I was pretty nervous about bringing it up, because he sometimes has a tendency to treat me like I’m not as smart as him, and I was very timid going about the subject.

I told him that I would prefer that my first time going to the gym be with him, so he could teach me the correct form and ways to use the machines, and he became very irritated and annoyed with me. He said that the way I was speaking was extremely aggravating and that I shouldn’t be asking such vague questions.

I told him that I knew nothing about the gym, it was daunting to me, and I prefer to be educated about a new experience before I try it out. He then said that if I found it daunting trying new things I was a coward and worthless as a human being.

I was severely taken aback by this statement because I really didn’t expect him to say something like that. I told him that what he said wasn’t okay and that the situation didn’t deserve that kind of response. I hung up, and he blew up my phone with text messages about how I shouldn’t have to rely on him to go to the gym for my first time, and that I should just go by myself and figure things out on my own.

He then went on to say that women can’t be reasoned with and that I was insane for telling him that his response was incredibly hurtful and inappropriate.

I’m torn between if I should end up going with him or not, because I feel like a jerk for finally being able to go to the gym with him, and then deciding not to.

But I also feel that what he said was unacceptable and that I should just go by myself or with a friend instead.”

7 points - Liked by ChickBoomer, Disneyprincess78, LilVicky and 4 more
Post

User Image
ashbabyyyy 9 months ago
Holy jerk, you shouldn’t ever go anywhere with this loser ever again. He’s abusive and a sexist piece of garbage.
28 Reply
View 21 more comments

35. AITJ For Making Tie-Dye Shirts With My Kids?

“My ex-husband (31m) and I (30F) got divorced 5 years ago.

During our divorce, we owned an old single-wide mobile home (1973) on a large piece of land that is zoned for a trailer park. He wanted the new truck and our savings. I wanted the old trailer and the land.

My ex and I have 2 girls (8 & 7).

Since my divorce. I slowly started buying old single wides and restoring them. Turning it into a business. I love it.

My girls go to their dad’s and AP’s (affair partner) apartment every other weekend. I started noticing their clothes, electronics, toys were not coming home.

At first, I thought their dad was just keeping a few outfits there for them. However, my 8-year-old got upset when she was packing. I asked her what was wrong. She told me her dad takes her clothes and sells them online. That she doesn’t want to take her favorite shirt over there.

I immediately called my ex. I asked him to return our daughter’s clothes. Not wanting to throw my daughter under the bus. I blamed it on them not having enough for school. He played dumb. He said he got rid of the clothes that were too small.

I pointed out that the jeans our (7-year-old) had were brand new. He then said that it was only fair he got some cash because he owned the trailer and land. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be doing this good.

I was mad.

I took my daughters down to the dollar store and bought cheap shirts, and to a thrift store, and bought cheap shorts. We had a ‘girls’ tie-dye night. Hot pink everything. Each made 5 shirts and 5 bottoms. I let our girls design and decorate them. My girls loved it.

The following week my ex sent the girls home. I could tell he was mad but, he didn’t say anything. The clothes were not returned. No fear I knew this would be an issue. We made extras. When the girls went back they were wearing tie-dye.

They were with their dad for an hour before he called and demanded different clothes. I kindly told him that our daughters love those clothes (they really really love tie-dye). My ex got even angrier and said his parents had a major family party and the girls couldn’t wear pink tie-dye.

I told him that he should go buy other clothes if he didn’t want them to wear them. He called me a jerk for being petty. AITJ?”

7 points - Liked by Meleus, ChickBoomer, Disneyprincess78 and 4 more
Post

User Image
Sugarbee23 9 months ago
This isn't petty.......it's GENIUS.
17 Reply
View 9 more comments

34. AITJ For Wanting My Father To Respond To The Message I Sent To Him About My Boundaries?

“If you are familiar with narcissistic parents, you’ll know that sometimes they have a golden child and a scapegoat child. Unfortunately, I am the scapegoat (I have always been a strong female, which my father hates.) Since I was a small child, I’ve known my father dislikes me.

He hasn’t ever tried to hide it. The entire extended family knows this well, and though they don’t agree, they also don’t do anything to stop him.

After a lifetime of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse I finally moved away and cut off contact. My therapist helped me craft a polite yet firm message outlining the boundaries my father must respect if he’s to have a relationship with me.

It was nothing outrageous, just basic human decency. My message went ignored, aside from my father ripping it apart to the rest of the family about it behind my back.

I had heard through the family that my father had a new partner. But he’d known her less than six months and they’d only met in person a couple of times.

Recently, I was stunned to find an email from my father announcing that they were getting married. He admitted they’d spent almost no time in person together but that FaceTime had been ‘enough’ and that he expected me to come around and not only meet her but become close to her family as well.

There was no mention of my message, only a non-apology saying he was sorry if I had ever felt offended by something he’d done.

I wanted an answer as to whether my father would be accepting my boundaries, so I asked him. He admitted my requests weren’t outrageous, but said that I am his child and he is my parent and therefore I can not tell him what to do and I may not place restrictions on anything he wants to say.

Then he demanded I meet him and his fiance. I said no. He then said they’d be getting married just weeks after the anniversary of my mother’s death and I’d be expected to be there. To which I also said no, and he wouldn’t be seeing me until he could accept my boundaries.

He was livid and said I would live to regret my decision.

The family is extremely upset by this. My father has told them all that I don’t want him to be happy and I’m causing problems ‘as always.’ My family says they understand my father has treated me badly, but that it’s time to come around for the sake of welcoming this woman (who I wouldn’t recognize from a stranger on the street) who has ‘totally changed’ my father.

When I gave them the clear evidence he had in no way changed, they still insisted that he’s better for having her in his life and it’s time for me to stop the issues I’m causing and welcome his fiance and her family with open arms.

I am deeply hurt and confused. My friends are absolutely on my side about this, but my family insists I’m ‘tearing the family apart’ with my unreasonable boundaries. AITJ?”

6 points - Liked by ChickBoomer, Disneyprincess78, LizzieTX and 3 more
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
YOU did NOT tear your family apart HE DID. and he will NEVER admit it. Just cut him out of your life and DO NOT EXPECT him to ever change. Because he WON'T. Just tell the fam you WILL NO LONGER ALLOW HIM TO ABUSE YOU and cut off the ones who accuse you of TEARING THE FAMILY APART. They are part of the problem. Make your OWN family with people who love YOU.
20 Reply
View 9 more comments

33. AITJ For Not Being Bothered About My Partner's Past With Someone?

“I’ve (29M) been with my partner (28F) for 5 years. Before we got together, she had a brief thing with a mutual friend that ended badly but they’re still friends. A few months later we got together and have been since. We’re on a trip right now with friends (including the one this is about) it’s the first time we’ve seen each other in ages because of the global crisis so it took ages to organize.

Anyway, we went out drinking and ended up sitting on the beach with a few bottles each and started playing Truth or Dare, there were 8 of us there in total. We’re a few rounds in and it’s my turn, my friend asks if the fact that he and my partner slept together bothers me at all.

I truthfully said no, and he asked why not, I said it just doesn’t, if I had a problem with it I wouldn’t be with her, to begin with. He asked again, and it was getting weird and both our partners were looking a bit uncomfortable, so I pushed to continue truth or dare and it worked.

But then it came to my turn again and he asked WHY doesn’t it bother me that they slept together? And honestly, it’s never been something I think much about. My partner told me once that he didn’t treat her very well during the experience.

Plus if it did bother me, I’d have to be bothered about anyone else she’s been with too, and vice versa, we’re in our late 20s and everyone has had partners, it’s pointless to get upset about it.

Anyway, it’s frustrating that he asks again because otherwise, it’s a fun night.

He smiled after asking, and I just told him (and the group) that it didn’t bother me because why would it? I said I understand that he’s asking from a point of insecurity in a situation like this, but for me, it doesn’t work like that.

I’ve never thought too much about it because for me there really isn’t that much to it.

Anyway, his face dropped a bit and an ‘OOHH’ went around the group. It wasn’t my intention to be mean and I hadn’t meant to word it to call him insecure but that’s how he took it seemingly.

The game went on but he didn’t talk much the rest of the night. The next day he was frosty with everyone and apparently his own partner was also upset with him about it. I’m friendly with her but I don’t really know their situation.

I asked him if he was alright and he just didn’t answer and walked off. I really didn’t mean to upset him or his partner, I was just being honest which is the point of the game. Other friends on the trip with us have all been fine with me but I feel a bit bad like I might have ruined the trip for him.

AITJ?”

6 points - Liked by ChickBoomer, Disneyprincess78, Whatdidyousay and 3 more
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
He pushed, WOULD NOT LET IT GO so he brought that ALL ON HIMSELF. He is an insecure idiot.
12 Reply
View 5 more comments

32. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For My Niece's Missing Uniform?

“Four years ago I took my sister’s three children in after she had problems with illegal substances, and was taken to the hospital for recovery.

I got the call at 2 a.m. and drove an hour and a half to go to the hospital for the three children (14f, 12m, and 10f at the time).

So I had two options to keep the three kids or let them go into the foster care system.

I have two children of my own (7m and 4m). I did not want them to go into the foster care system like my sister and myself had gone into as children. I did not want them to have the same traumatic experience.

I took them in and had no help from my sister after she was released. I took them to therapy and put them into school here where I live.

I asked for help with food and didn’t get it, she has food stamps for the kids. So I worked extra and gave them everything. Sister only saw them 5 times in the 6 months I had them. I paid for everything in that 6 months.

The oldest (14f) started high school and joined JORTC (Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps).

It turns out she has a problem with authority. She did have the uniform and had to wear it every Wednesday. She hated it and hid it in my coat closet.

Later I FORCED my sister to take back her children after 6 months because the children started to make trouble and acted out and lied about it.

I needed a break. I asked my other siblings for help and to have a weekend with my husband and two boys. No one wanted to help me. I paid a sitter. We took a weekend for just us. When I came back my niece had stolen my car.

I had to call the police to make her come back and give me my car.

After that, I forced their mom to take them back. I then found out she was 5 months pregnant. But she didn’t want them back. My sister did come and get them after a fight.

My niece left her uniform. I told her many times to come and get it.

This past June my niece graduated from high school. She called me the morning of and asked if I still had the uniform. I didn’t know where it was because my husband remodeled my floors in January.

He completely upheaved my house. I have not seen it since then.

I told her she could look at my house but I don’t know if my husband still had it in the house. She came over to look for it. It was lost. I found the shoes and jacket.

That is all. She has to pay for it to be replaced. It is $266. She told me it was my responsibility because I was the adult and she was a child.

She called me names and a trashy mom. She said no one likes me, and I was a joke.

This hurts because I did so much for her and I have a fear of becoming my birth mother. She knows this.

My niece tried to force me to pay for the missing uniform, I told her it sounded like a you-problem and she should have taken it when I told her to, I’m not paying.”

6 points - Liked by ChickBoomer, Disneyprincess78, lebe and 4 more
Post

User Image
anma7 9 months ago
NTJ.. tell neice and sister that THEY get to pay seeing how you fed and clothed her kids for 6months for FREE and she was getting money for them
13 Reply
View 8 more comments

31. AITJ For Being Mad At My Brother For Doubting If His Ex's Baby Is His?

“My brother and dad kept questioning the paternity of my best friend’s baby even though my brother’s the only possible father.

He went out with my best friend for 4 years before breaking up with her suddenly and blocking her from contacting him. I knew it was a bad idea for them to go out because my best friend was pretty naïve and sheltered before going out with him and had never been in a relationship in her life even though she was in her 20s.

As much as I love my brother, he had a reputation for breaking hearts and sleeping around so I wanted to protect her from him but I couldn’t do anything without them hating me. I thought maybe my brother had changed and that he actually loved her since his relationship with her was the longest he’d ever been with one person and he seemed so different around her but obviously, it was just an act since I had to be the one to break her pregnancy news to him since he made it impossible for her to speak to him.

Ever since finding out my brother keeps saying ‘If the baby is his’ even though she’s only ever slept with him. I blame my dad for putting the idea in his head since my dad was never supportive of his relationship with my best friend so I know he’s mad deep down that she’s pregnant.

I know it’s been hurting my best friend that he keeps saying that because she’s told him they can do a paternity test if it’s what he wants but it’s him (and my dad) that are stalling. She finally snapped and told my brother and family that if anybody said ‘If the baby is his’ again she’d leave and cut contact so they wouldn’t have to worry about her or her baby again.

They both stopped saying it in front of her but my brother slipped up and said it in front of me when speaking to my dad. I was angry on her behalf and I told him off for continuing to hurt her even though the only mistake she made was falling for his nonsense.

I was ranting with my friend about him and she asked me if he said it again so I told her because I wasn’t going to lie to her. She told me she couldn’t do this anymore and that she was going to stay with her aunt until the baby was born.

Now my brother is freaking out because she won’t respond to him and he has no idea where she’s gone. He asked me where she was and I told him I couldn’t tell him so he asked me to at least tell him why she left. I told him it was because of what he said and somehow my dad and brother have turned it onto me because ‘I shouldn’t have told her’.

My dad kept saying my brother is my brother so I needed to take his side and tell him where she was but my best friend is a sister to me and I don’t want them to keep hurting her so I won’t no matter how many times my brother says he knows he’s been a jerk and wants a second chance to fix things with her.

AITJ?”

4 points - Liked by Disneyprincess78, Whatdidyousay, lebe and 1 more
Post

User Image
anma7 9 months ago
NTJ… tel them both that she warned them both and they KNOW the babay is his and that you don’t know where she is cos she wouldn’t tell you so that THEY couldnt bully you into telling them. Tell them they caused this along with brother treating a good honestl young woman horrifically and if she never gets in contact or let’s him see the baby it’s down to them
10 Reply
View 4 more comments

30. AITJ For Yelling At My Mom For Not Doing Anything?

“At the end of the month, I am being laid off. I am spending the last week closing down my office and packing up my files.

My lease is ending at the end of the month, so I am packing up my home.

This week my daughter graduated college and will be moving away from home for the first time at the end of the month.

My mom is retired and lives with my brother. He is well off and has a house cleaner. My mom does not cook, or clean when she’s with him.

She came last week to visit my daughter, and me. While she has been here she has been sleeping in. She hasn’t cooked or cleaned. She hasn’t been asked to. When she finishes her food she expects me to put away her dishes. She even wants me to fix her plate after I have been working all day, cooking, and packing.

She has been very critical. My food is too greasy. I don’t have any junk food at home. I’m not eating enough. I’m eating too much. I’m never going to finish packing my home in time. I’m packing my boxes wrong.

I asked her to help me pack.

She said no. She’s on vacation, and she is here to spend time with my daughter and me. I asked her to come and keep me company while I pack. She said no she’s going to sit on the couch and watch a show that she has watched a thousand times.

Alone.

I was extremely stressed and at my wit’s end. I yelled, ‘What are you really here for? You have not lifted a finger. You spend all your time sleeping, and when you are awake all you do is criticize me! Did you come just to make my life more difficult?

You know I am going through a lot, and you are not helpful. I am glad I learned how not to be a mom from you!’

My daughter said I went too far. I called my sister. She says our mom deserved it, and I shouldn’t feel bad.

AITJ?”

4 points - Liked by Furryrope, Whatdidyousay, lebe and 1 more
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
DO NOT FEEL BAD/GUILTY. So just WHY did she come then? You ae fine, she is THE JERK.
13 Reply
View 4 more comments

29. AITJ For Serving Food With Red Wine In It?

“I (31M) am a classically-trained French chef. I have spent the last 11 years training and cooking in restaurants in France and am an American citizen. I met my wife (26F) 5 years ago when she was on vacation in France, we fell in love and she lived with me in France.

When we decided to start a family, she expressed a desire to move back to her hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah in the USA so we could be closer to her family. We have made the move as of last week.

When we made the official move into our house, moving in some furniture from France and some bought furniture states side, we had a bunch of neighbors come out and help us.

What was expected to take 4 or 5 hours of moving in and arranging and putting away ended up taking 2 hours as suddenly 15 people came over to help, with snacks and drinks and advice about the home and neighborhood. I was so grateful and surprised at this kindness, so I offered to cook them all a grand meal 3 days later.

Some turned the offer down because of their kids or schedule, others because ‘Helping neighbors move in is just the Mormon thing to do.’

I ended up cooking a 4-course French dinner for 3 other couples. They all absolutely loved my entree of Gigot qui Pleure with a pan sauce, some even asking for seconds of it.

I ended up making copies of the recipe for them as a final thank you since they loved it so much. When I gave them the recipes they looked absolutely shocked, they didn’t realize the pan sauce had red wine in it and they were not allowed to drink because they were Mormons.

They ended up getting very angry at me, saying I was trying to corrupt them with liquor and that I should respect other people’s beliefs and dietary restrictions. My wife is very upset and feels like I ruined our first chance at making friends in our new neighborhood.

People I have talked to about this have been very split about whether I am a jerk or not. Some say I should have studied up on Mormon dietary restrictions and modified my recipes to match, while others have said that as the people with the dietary restrictions, they should have mentioned them well before the preparation of the meal to make sure those restrictions are met, just like someone with an allergy would mention it.

So, which side are you on? AITJ?”

4 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe, Alliauraa and 1 more
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
I think THEY WERE RUDE for just EXPECTING you to KNOW about mormon eating or drinking rules. Aside from the cooking process the alchohol is bacically cooked out from what I understand. At that point it is more for the flavour of the meal than anything else. If I am wrong here let me know. I AM NOT A CHEF.
22 Reply
Load More Replies...
View 20 more comments

28. AITJ For Punishing My Daughter's Cousins For Wetting Her Hamsters' Cage?

“I’m not from the USA and my family is strictly Asian, so family values may differ for everyone.

So my eldest daughter had always wanted a pet hamster, so we got two (one male, one female, neutered of course) for her birthday. She loved them and showed them off to her paternal cousins (my husband’s sister’s three sons), and anytime they visited our house, they would fawn over the cute hamsters for hours on end.

Due to a lack of space upstairs, we kept the hamsters downstairs at a spot next to the kitchen.

One day, on one of their visits, I was upstairs folding the laundry and came downstairs to get a drink, only to find that the cage was drowning in water and soggy hamster bedding, and those poor hamsters were also partially drenched by the mess and hiding in higher ground.

I know for a fact that none of my own kids did it because they were all upstairs taking a nap (after a long day at school doing their annual sports event). The only ones who were downstairs were the three boys, and my housemaid knows better than to meddle with the cage because she has never handled small animals like hamsters before.

Naturally, I confronted all three of them and asked who it was that wet the cage. None of them admitted to doing it, and my housemaid couldn’t tell me who it was because it all happened when she was out on a grocery run. I made them stand at the corner of the room within my sight and made them watch as I cleaned the cage and lectured them about how dangerous and irresponsible it is to do such a thing, especially to small animals like hamsters.

I also told them they’re not allowed to leave their spot (not even to sit down) until someone fesses up and comes clean.

They literally stood there quietly without saying a word for almost an hour, until their father came to fetch them home after work.

When he saw them standing there and me vigilantly watching them while I cleaned the cage, he looked visibly annoyed, especially after I told them the reason I made them stand there. His eldest son, upon seeing his father, started crying and confessed that he was the one who did it, and he did it because his younger brothers dared him to do it.

Even more annoyed (obviously at me rather than at his boys), he just quickly took his boys away from the spot, hastily bundled them into the car while muttering angrily at them, and drove off.

Later that night, my MIL got an angry text from my SIL that I was being a jerk, that even though her kids had done something wrong, I had no right to scold or punish them, and that I was making such a big deal about a bunch of ‘tiny rats’.

My MIL was on my side on this, but my SIL insisted that I was overreacting and overstepping my boundaries as an aunt-in-law. AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
ashbabyyyy 9 months ago
NTJ and stop watching the kids, let their parents figure something out.
13 Reply
View 5 more comments

27. AITJ For Being Upset That My Friend Lied About How She Got Pregnant?

“My best friend (21F) and I (23F) recently moved into a house together along with our significant others.

Originally the plan was for me, my significant other, and her to all live together (we’ve all been friends for years) but her SO moved with us because of the baby.

My SO and I were going to get the master since it was two of us versus one of her, but with the baby on the way, we obviously agreed to let them have the room.

Now, before my best friend was pregnant we had already planned on moving in with each other.

She told me she was pregnant in June (it is currently August) and that despite using protection, she got knocked up. I consoled her, we laughed, we moved on, and made a new game plan. Only for me to discover two days ago from her SO that they, did in fact, not use protection and she had lied to me.

He told me they had actually tried for a baby. This is where things started to click.

‘So, we need to have the master bedroom conversation now.’

The way she had said it originally threw me off, but I ignored it. Or how she still got the puppy she wanted despite finding out she’s pregnant?

She ignored me when I suggested maybe she should wait, but it makes sense now because she got pregnant on purpose knowing she was also getting a puppy.

My SO and I are taken aback that she deliberately lied to us about the baby’s conception and then proceeded to have her baby daddy move down to live with us, with her puppy, and take over the master bedroom.

Which makes us think that was her plan all along. I’m pretty peeved about it considering there was literally no reason to lie.

I texted her, asking her if it was true and she ignored my text and then came home like nothing happened and went about her night.

AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
GammaG 9 months ago
You and your partner need to move. Asap.
11 Reply
View 3 more comments

26. AITJ For Doing Laundry At Night?

“I live in a short-term rental situation as I was relocated for work to support a specific location. I rented a nice garage in LA that has been repurposed as an ADU (accessory dwelling unit) for 3 months. I was interested in this rental because it is in a really nice area, close to the beach, and the owners had very positive reviews.

But since it is an ADU I am basically living in their garage which is detached from their main house and separated by about 75 feet.

When it comes to work I am very busy. I usually work from 7-5 and then go to the gym afterward.

On a usual day, I don’t get home until around 8 p.m., which is when I have to do all my other normal human activities like making lunches/dinner, doing laundry, etc.

Well, it turns out my landlord absolutely CANNOT sleep with my dryer on which I usually have running from about 9-10 pm.

He is an older man, about 60 years old and retired, and usually goes to bed early. But on the first day that I did laundry, he walked back to the garage around 9:15 and knocked on the door. When I open it he’s in his undergarments telling me to turn off the dryer.

I calmly explained to him that I didn’t get home until late, my clothes were wet and the dryer should be finished around 10 pm. To this, he grunts and walks away. He then came back at 9:50 and told me to turn it off again to which I reiterated that it would be done in 10 minutes.

This has happened each time I’ve done laundry on a weekday and he escalated it by saying that the neighbors have been calling him nonstop about the dryer noise. If I was being a nuisance to the neighborhood I could understand his frustration so I went and knocked on the neighbor’s door, introduced myself, and asked if the dryer noise from the garage was bothering them.

To which they said they had never called my landlord or even knew that someone was living in the garage. So I figured he lied about the neighbors to try to get me to turn off the dryer so I continued to run it at my normal time.

Things came to a head yesterday when he came back and yelled at me at the top of his lungs to turn off the dryer. I told him that he is being paid good money for me to live here and if he cannot handle the noise of his garage being lived in then he shouldn’t rent it out.

I need clean clothes for work and in my mind doing laundry at night is a pretty normal thing to do. Not to mention I sleep in the same room as the laundry machines when for him it’s far away.

I’m not sure I feel like this could be solved if he invested in some noise-canceling headphones.

Also, it’s not like I do laundry every day. Since this living situation is temporary I didn’t bring my whole closet so I’d say I do about 2 loads each week, one of which is on a weekday.

So what do you guys think, AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Tinkerhel 9 months ago
Nope. You're right. That solves nothing but might help until you leave.
6 Reply
View 3 more comments

25. AITJ For Moving My Brother Away To Prevent Him From Blowing My Birthday Candles Out?

“All throughout my childhood, my little brother has always got all of the attention. My mom always called him ‘her little angel’ since he was always her favorite.

To get straight to the story, I (15f) haven’t had a birthday party in about 5 years, while my little brother (who’s now 10) has always had one each year.

My uncle (we’ll call him Bob for privacy reasons) started questioning why my little brother has always had a birthday party and I didn’t, well she wasn’t planning on celebrating my 15th birthday anyway. But when my uncle (Bob) started telling the rest of my family rumors started going around and since she didn’t want to sound like a ‘bad mom’ she decided to let me have a birthday party.

We were hosting it at a local playground near where I live. 3 of my friends and some of my family were invited and came.

All day my brother has made up lies to get attention from people, and when me and my 3 friends were on the swings my mom made me get off so my brother could swing.

(There was another set of swings right next to the one I was on) while most of my birthday my brother got all the attention, it was finally time to sing and have cake.

While everyone was gathering around my brother started crying and screaming because he wasn’t going to be able to blow the candles out, so my mom told me to let him blow the candles out and then she’ll relight them for me to blow out after.

I was getting fed up with all this so when everyone was getting to the end of my birthday song I kind of moved my brother away and blew my own candles out. My brother was not happy about that. He started screaming and crying.

My mom got really mad at me and she scolded me for not letting my brother blow the candles out. The rest of the family agreed on my part. My aunt and uncle started yelling at my mom for treating my brother way better than me.

The rest of the family just started leaving in shame of my mom. After we got home my mom just kind of sat in her room in silence while my brother played with his brand-new PS5. So again AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Tinkerhel 9 months ago
Nope. This is your mom's sick game. I lived this game and wish I'd been stronger sooner. Your brother is loving the pot stirring this lets him do.
You're NTJ so get away soon as you can and don't look back. Maybe your aunt and uncle who have stood up for you can help. Good luck.
11 Reply
View 6 more comments

24. WIBTJ If I Tell My Roommate To Buy A Different Brand Of Coffee?

“I (21F) live in an apartment with two roommates, Carly (20F) and Amy (20F).

Carly and I have been living together since 2019, but Amy just moved in this past August. We’ve been having some issues with Amy lately, due to her breaking some house rules and being generally very messy. We’ve tried having roommate talks over these issues but they haven’t really gone anywhere.

Recently, I had a fairly big conflict with Amy due to her breaking a major house rule of no drinking in the apartment and trashing the place, leaving it for me to clean up. She’s spent 90% of her time away from the apartment in the two weeks since then, so there hasn’t been much interaction between us to judge how things are right now.

I’m only mentioning this because I don’t know if the issue of this post would seem like a further petty jab at her after the conflict.

One major issue of her messiness is that she leaves coffee grounds EVERYWHERE in the common area.

Both Carly and I don’t really drink coffee often, but we had a Keurig prior to Amy moving in. Since then, she’s been the main one using it, and she got reusable K-Cups to use with Folgers coffee (in the big red containers.) Since the coffee is loose grounds, it can get messy and she just doesn’t clean it no matter how often we ask, I’m tired of stepping in dried coffee grounds and finding them places they shouldn’t be (such as in the stove).

I’m at the point where I just want to tell her that unless she starts cleaning up the coffee grounds, she needs to get the single-use K-cup pods since those don’t make a mess.

I feel like I might be a jerk if I do that since she drinks a lot of coffee, at least 3-4 cups a day, and she uses Folgers to cut costs, but I can’t handle the mess anymore.

WIBTJ for telling her she either needs to get her act together or buy a different brand of coffee?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
GammaG 9 months ago
Put the Keurig in storage. Its owner has the right to put it up.

Tell her the reason it is gone is her filth.

Also inform her that her lease will not be renewed because you and your friend are not happy with her filth.
8 Reply
View 6 more comments

23. AITJ For Defending My Brother From My Aunt?

“I (19F) have two twin siblings (Hunter – 17M and Jody – 17F).

Hunter and Jody look very alike. Despite the different genders, they’re often mistaken for each other.

This usually doesn’t matter to either of them but recently Hunter has been complaining about it a lot.

Which you know what it’s understandable considering a lot of the guys his age tease him about it. He doesn’t tell me or anyone a whole lot but Jody told me that this one guy calls him babe, baby, girl, honey, etc. This honestly grossed me out and I told Hunter to please stand up for himself and he just said okay.

Now, the twins are freakishly tall but they’re also very skinny. They’re about the same in measurement but my brother is slightly taller. Well, we were all staying at my aunt’s house overnight and Hunter’s entire outfit got wet. Like his shirt was soaked. Yay, snow.

Hunter didn’t bring any extra clothes (He forgot to bring his bag) so my dad suggested that he borrow Jody’s clothes.

I managed to convince Hunter to wear the clothes but he was extremely uncomfortable the entire time. Me and Jody tried to distract him but our aunt kept making jokes the whole time.

Hunter eventually ran off to bed in tears. My parents were out at the time.

I was really frustrated and asked her if she was happy. I told her to shut up and realize her jokes aren’t funny and are extremely hurtful. That Hunter is already being teased about being ‘girly’ and ‘too pretty’ and he doesn’t need her to pick on him as well.

My aunt argued that ‘girly’ and ‘too pretty’ aren’t insults but compliments and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with those words unless we were sexist etc. She also said that Hunter never cared about this before so how was she supposed to know he’s sensitive now?

She also said that he needs to be more confident in himself, that he’s good looking and we need to encourage him rather than get defensive.

I wholeheartedly believe that I’m not the jerk here but Jody says that our aunt has a point + I was pretty rude.

I don’t agree because Hunter doesn’t like it and that’s all that matters to me but I can kinda see her point as well. AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Tinkerhel 9 months ago
No, you're NTJ,. She purposely needled your son until he broke, then called YOU all SEXIST?!!? Um no!
I can still smell the gaslight from here. She purposely picked this fight. Make it the hill she exits on or more.
9 Reply
Load More Replies...
View 2 more comments

22. AITJ For Refusing To Be My Sleepy Significant Other's Human Alarm Clock?

“My (22M) significant other (22F) loves to sleep. If she isn’t doing something important, she sleeps.

She will nap throughout the day, and it’s literally impossible to wake her up.

She doesn’t wake up from an alarm clock and uses me instead. I wouldn’t mind but she literally makes it such a hassle to even get her out of bed. I have to first wake her up from her initial sleep, come back a bit later and shake her again, then finally pick her up and make her stand before she finally gets up.

This has been going on for some time now, and she’s never had a real reason to urgently get up. I’ve never mentioned having an issue with this besides maybe getting a bit frustrated sometimes.

A couple of days ago she had to get up the next morning for her first day of work in a corporate office.

She made me promise that I’d get her up on time. I said I’d try and she said I needed to promise her. I told her I’d try again and she kept stressing how important it was for her to get up.

The next morning rolls around and I’m trying to nudge her awake.

Doesn’t work. I sit her up, she falls back down. I even stood her up out of bed, and when I came back up to our room she was laying in the bed again. I shook her one final time and she said something in gibberish that made 0 sense.

I gave up and just watched as the time went by.

She came down an hour after she told me to wake her up and she was running around the house trying to get ready.

She ended up being late, and when she came home she was mad at ME.

LOL, I was in shock. I told her I couldn’t believe she was blaming me, she told me that I made her a promise, and I told her that I’d try. I tried and even after explaining everything and how I tried to wake her up, she said that it was my fault.

We got into an argument and she said that she couldn’t rely on me, and if I had a problem with this system then I should have said something.

Ok, who wants to be someone’s personal human alarm clock that doesn’t even work half the time, she’s a full-grown adult and it shouldn’t be my responsibility to always wake her up.

She told me if I was an adult I would have brought up this issue with her before.

Nah, I still don’t see how this is my fault at all, regardless of whether I had an issue with this or not, I did what she asked me to do and it didn’t work.

No matter how I explain this to her, she refuses to see it my way and just says ‘I made you promise me’. AITJ? I really don’t think I am.”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
Tell her flat out that you are NOT her human alarm clock anymore and now it is ON HER as an ADULT to get her own AZZ out of bed and to work on time. And if it is THAT difficult for her maybe she needs to see a doctor.
13 Reply
View 11 more comments

21. AITJ For Asking One Of The Actors In The Show I'm Directing To Shave Her Armpits?

“I (33f) do community theatre and we’re doing a show I wrote and directed. At one point 5 actors come out in matching dresses, do a dance, and then stay in those dresses for the rest of the act with various movements lifting their arms up.

This past weekend was the dress rehearsal.

Now the actor in question, ‘Mya’ (31f), I’ve known for 6+ years and we’ve done a lot of double acts together. We’re kind of like ‘troupe besties’. She’d mentioned since 2020 she’s decided to ‘more or less’ give up shaving and only do it every now and then.

I hardly shaved through 2020 myself and applaud any woman who feels comfortable continuing that.

The problem lies, however, when the actors put their arms up in the dresses and I noticed just how prominent her armpit hair was. After rehearsal, I pulled her into a side room and asked her if she would mind shaving when it came to the actual show (just her armpits, leg hair is covered by thick tights).

She looked a little affronted and asked why. I explained that the hair is an immediate eye catcher and I was worried it would distract the audience. I reaffirmed that I do support her choices and wondered if this could be one of the ‘every now & then’ times.

To my surprise, she was extremely offended and acted as if I asked to shave her head instead.

She said I should be more encouraging of the feminist movement and change won’t happen if we keep taking these steps back and conforming to old beauty standards.

She said I wouldn’t ask her to dye her hair for a show and that this was the same thing. I argued that I wouldn’t ask for a (somewhat) permanent change but I obviously did dictate what hairstyle everyone should have and for specific makeup (normal for a show).

As the hair grew back I didn’t understand what the issue was. I said how a lot of our audience are in the 60-90 age range and they do need to get with the times but I could just predict their comments about it all.

I apologized as I saw how my request had upset her and I didn’t mean for it to come across badly.

Still, she was very upset and said ‘If they’re looking at my pits your show obviously isn’t good enough then’ (which really stung). She stormed out after grabbing her things.

I’m really not sure if I crossed the line. On one hand, I was meant to do this show 2 years ago before the global crisis and have been so stressed trying to get it all together after so long. It’s been my pride and joy.

But I do also see her point that people should like or lump it and I should let her be her most comfortable self. I just really didn’t want anything to distract from the show and as she does still shave occasionally assumed it’d be alright to ask.

So AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
ashbabyyyy 9 months ago
NTJ- hairy armpits have nothing to do with feminism You’re the director, she had no problem with you choosing the hairstyle, why now? Aside from the fact that yes, it’s nasty, it’s also an unnecessary distraction.
11 Reply
View 6 more comments

20. AITJ For Being Vulnerable With My Mom?

“So I (24M) am set to graduate from university in June with an engineering degree.

I just need my grades to show passes. But in January my fiancee, Eve, died. I’d known her since I was five years old we were best friends and had been together since we were 13. She practically lived at our home half the time. My mom had me when she was 18 and married my dad cause of it.

But in August she left him after coming out of the closet. That and Eve’s death changed Dad a lot and he’s always with some new girl and sometimes they’re my age. It was my birthday last month and I drove home to celebrate with him but he bailed on me to be with some girl.

I just felt so alone that I drove hours back to my apartment that same night. It’s like home isn’t my home anymore. My dad’s gone all the time, Eve is dead and my mom is gone. I don’t even have a job lined up.

And my university’s crappy mental health services aren’t a help to me.

But this last Friday my mom came to my apartment with her partner. No warning, no nothing, they told me mom needed to get away cause my grandparents are being jerks about her sexuality and her work has super stressed her out.

Honestly, it was the best thing ever but she’d be leaving Monday morning. On Sunday, her partner went to sleep early and we stayed up watching TV. There was this old movie on Prime and it’s something I watched as a kid before our VHS copy broke.

I don’t know it made me sad and I told her everything about how I felt and how crappy and alone I felt and how much I wanted my fiancee back and how it feels like I’d lost Dad too. I knew I was unloading on her so I told her how much I missed her and cause I felt like crying I started crying and I couldn’t stop no matter how much I tried I kept on crying.

She put my head in her lap, held me, and let me keep crying and crying until I ended up falling asleep.

When I woke up, Mom promised me everything would be all right and made me promise to call her every night. Before they left her partner pulled me aside and reminded me how stressed mom’s been and learning how I was only made things worse for her and she was only putting on a brave face for me.

She was like, to put it mildly, you were being a jerk by burdening her even further. I honestly think she’s right cause if mom’s this stressed then I probably hurt her. And I guess it is selfish for somebody who’s grown to worry his mom especially when she saw me to de-stress.

My friend told me I wasn’t and said to ask other people.”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
BarbOne 9 months ago
NTJ As a mother, no matter how stressed I am about my life, I want my kids to come to me when they have problems. It has happened and probably will again. The last thing a mother wants is to see one of her kids stressed and worry about them because they don't know the cause and can't offer emotional support.
8 Reply
View 8 more comments

19. AITJ For Being The "Prettier Sister"?

“I (31f) was over at my parents’ house over the weekend with my husband and kids for a weekly family dinner. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents and an okay (but strained) relationship with my sis (34f).

The reason for the tense relationship with my sister is due to a long history of her being ultra-dependent on everyone around her. While this isn’t 100% her fault (mom enabled this growing up) as an adult it can be very draining and frustrating.

Now onto the issue.

Last weekend my sis wasn’t at my parents’ house for dinner. That night my parents pulled me aside and asked me to not come over when she was there looking so put together. They said that it makes her feel bad that she thinks I look better than her and that she said it wasn’t fair.

I was FLOORED by this request… I do NOT get all dolled up to go over to their house, I use minimal makeup each day and I only curl my hair once or twice a week and just let it go the other times. I asked for some clarification from my parents and they said that ever since I dyed my hair blonde she’s been talking about how she hates that I’m now the ‘prettier sister’ and that the only reason she thinks I look good is because I can afford expensive makeup and clothes.

For the record, I buy my clothes and makeup from Walmart and Target, to me none of these things scream excessive wealth.

I asked my parents what they suggested I do then and they just said that I know how she is and that it’s a small thing to dye my hair, not wear makeup and wear sweats or other comfortable clothes.

I told them I wouldn’t do that because it took a while for my dark brown hair to finally go blonde and it was a lot of time and money. As for my makeup, I can take a look at what else I could do but as I already wear minimal makeup (blush, mascara, eyeliner) there’s not much to remove.

My parents asked me to be understanding of her situation and how she already feels inferior to me and my husband for having things she doesn’t (jobs, house). They told me that they raised me to think of others and to consider her feelings. They said they hoped I would do the right thing.

On the drive home that night I texted her and told her what our parents had said. She replied by saying that they were right and I was too uptight if I couldn’t go one night without those things and that she thought I looked better as a brunette anyway (WHAT?).

At the end of our conversation, I told her that I wasn’t willing to change all of those things and I hoped that she would understand where I was coming from.

She ended up calling me a jerk and a few other names because it’s just cosmetics and fashion and I should value her feelings over either of those things.

I think I could be the jerk here because she is kind of right. They are just superficial things that don’t make a person, but on the other hand, I am kind of offended that they would think it’s an okay thing to ask someone to change how they look to help someone else feel better.

Am I the jerk for not doing this?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
If she believes they are so superficial then WHY DOESN'T SHE CHANGE HERS THEN? She is just jealous and your parents ENABLE HER. There is NO reason for you to feel guilty about any of this. Sis should feel EMBARRASSED about her actions and what she says.
15 Reply
View 9 more comments

18. AITJ For Not Waking My Partner Up And Going On A Family Trip Without Him?

“My partner (28M) and I (26F) have 5 daughters: 7, 6, 4, 3, and 5 months. For a long time, there’s been an issue with him getting up to help with the kids in the morning: he thinks he should be able to sleep in on his days off work, while I think he should get up when the kids and I do, or we should at least be alternating who lies in a bit.

We’ve been seeing a therapist who has mentioned he should be helping more in the mornings.

Recently we had a family trip planned to the zoo with both of our parents, our sisters, and their kids. Previously when we’ve gone out for the day I’ve needed to shake my partner awake several times, and he lies in bed while I get the kids ready.

He’ll finally get up 5 minutes before we leave as I shout at him I’m getting in the car. I’ve mentioned to him that this is very frustrating as it’s a lot of work getting the kids ready to go out, and it’s not fair to leave it up to me while he lies in bed. He’d apologize and promise that the next time he’d get up and help.

The night before the trip I told him I’d need him to be awake at 6.30 am, so we could get everyone ready to leave by 8 am. He said he’d set an alarm and we went to bed. My alarm went off at 6:30 am and I got up, while my partner kept sleeping.

I decided I wasn’t going to wake him this time and continued getting the kids ready. At 8 a.m. he was still sleeping, so I loaded the kids in the car and we set off. We arrived at the zoo at 9.30 a.m., and his family asked where he was.

I mentioned he was still in bed and chose not to come.

At 10.15 am I got a phone call from him asking where everyone was. I said we went to the zoo as planned, and I waited for him to get up but he never did.

He got really mad and told me that I should’ve woken him up like I always do, and I caused him to miss the trip. He then called his mum and complained to her, who yelled at me in the middle of the zoo that I was being unfair and that I should’ve given him a shake to let him know he needed to get up, and that I was about to leave.

My mother jumped in and said it wasn’t my responsibility to get him out of bed, and that he needed to take responsibility for himself.

A few more words were exchanged and his family stalked off for the rest of the trip. I had a blast with my kids, parents, sister, and nephews.

When we got home my partner started on me again about how I should’ve woken him up.

So AITJ so not waking him up and going without him?

A few things I want to clarify:

He wasn’t always like this. When the oldest two were little he was always up with them.

He even gets up before anyone else to cook breakfast before going off to work. We had to move in with his parents at one point and that’s where things started to change. His family is incredibly misogynistic (dad works then comes home, watches TV, and drinks beer while his mum does everything else, including getting him up for work, etc.) These beliefs seem to have rubbed off on him, and his mum is very quick to tell him something is the ‘woman’s job’.

He’s seeing a therapist independently who has suggested some form of depression.

He’s generally pretty good otherwise. He will help with dinner, cleaning, putting the kids to bed, etc. He’s not entirely useless. Getting out of bed in the morning is a long-standing issue though.

He had a vasectomy after baby #4, which turned out to be incomplete. I had a hysterectomy.”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
anma7 9 months ago
NTJ… think you need to bring it up in the next therapy that his depression only seems to hit on a day he’s not at work or when there’s a trip planned and that’s when he expects YOU to wake him up like his mommy used to. Tell your MIL that just cos her hubby is a sexist pig who doesn’t lift a finger doesn’t mean your hubby gets to be the same way unless he wants to be divorced back at mommy’s and paying a heap of child support
9 Reply
View 3 more comments

17. AITJ For Wanting To Leave Our Family Trip Early Because My Mom Told My Daughter To Keep A Secret?

“I have two children – my daughter ‘R’ (6) and my son ‘P’ (4). I am pretty particular about what my children eat. They’ve never had McDonald’s, we don’t do red dye or any of the others… I’ve raised them overall very healthy.

This is just my lifestyle. I don’t deprive them of anything. But McDonald’s is garbage in my opinion and I just don’t want my kids eating it. Their dad is the same as me. Once again, not depriving them.

So today my entire family took a road trip to a city a couple of hours away to spend the weekend at the lake.

R asked to ride with my parents and since all the cars were packed out I figured why not. Well, I’m sure you can see where this is going. My mom took my daughter to McDonald’s. Also found out she did that last weekend as well and a few weeks before that.

The issue here is NOT that she gave my child something that she knows goes against my wishes but that every time she did, she told my 6-year-old to not tell me and that it’s their secret. I have a negative experience with adults having children keep secrets… I have ZERO tolerance for a grown-up telling MY kids to keep secrets from ME, no matter how ‘small’.

It feels icky and honestly makes me infuriated. She will likely crap the McDonald’s out in the next 30 years, LOL, but this pattern of telling my kids not to tell me things makes me want to never speak to her again.

She also told my niece (15) that if she told me she would take her phone away (she raised my niece).

My mom is the type to overstep boundaries in the past but to me, this has gone too far. Now my partner and I want to leave the Airbnb with my family and do our own thing and I want to sever ties with my mom.

I feel like I’m overreacting but I’m also triggered. AITJ if I leave?”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
So let's be real here, she is TEACHING YOUR DAUGHTER TO LIE TO YOU. You can't do much about your niece BUT you CAN put mom in her place and tell her she will NEVER be alone with your kids EVER AGAIN.
13 Reply
View 7 more comments

16. AITJ For Not Being Supportive Of My Friend's Engagement?

“I (28, f) have a best friend (29, f) who we’ll just call Ashley. Ashley has been with Albert (30) for 3 years now but after just a few months of their relationship, Ashley found out that Albert is still legally married. She found out from a coworker who knows Albert’s family.

The same coworker that got Albert a job with her and Ashley when Albert moved to the U.S. Albert said he had left his wife and moved to America from Europe before he even met Ashley and he doesn’t have any kind of relationship with his ex.

Despite how much I disapproved, Ashley forgave him for lying about not being married and took him back. They’ve been together ever since but still NO DIVORCE. The reasons have been a long list of many. To name a few – ‘You have to be separated for some time first’ then ‘We don’t have the money and it’s expensive’, then ‘It’s hard to connect with his ex because she still lives in Europe and purposely avoids Albert’s attempts to contact her about the divorce’.

Anyway, last weekend was Ashley and Albert’s third anniversary and he proposed. She texted the group chat that has our other 5 best friends to share the ‘happy news’. A couple of people got their congrats in before I responded with ‘How can you get engaged to a married man?’ Immediately Ashley called me to cuss me out and ask how I could say that.

Especially in the group message. I asked her how could Albert plan on marrying her if he wasn’t even legally divorced from his first wife yet. I love Ashley and I want the best for her. So I can’t pretend that this whole situation is okay when it’s not.

It has been over a week and she’s still not speaking to me. She took herself out of the group message and deactivated her social media accounts. I know she’s giddy with excitement and wants to fantasize about her dream wedding but she can not possibly think it’s real or right to claim she’s really engaged in this situation.

Edit: Albert’s wife knows about Ashley. She found her on social media and Ashley had to block her. Albert is not a US citizen but his family is well off so he is not using Ashley for money or status. Ashley told me he could not borrow the funds from his family for a divorce because his family is old-fashioned and does not support the divorce.

I sent my response in the group chat where she shared the news in. The same group chat that has our other best friends.”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Kali 9 months ago
NTJ Logistically speaking, how is their relationship going to proceed legally? Oh, that’s right, it can’t. You were right to bring this to her attention AGAIN, she’s living in a delusional fairy land and her bubble is going to burst wide open at some point. I have a feeling that everything Albert is telling her is a lie. If HE has money (you say he’s not using Ashley) then he CAN afford a divorce, he’s choosing not to pursue it. I’m curious WHY Ashley had to block Albert’s wife - was the wife pissed that her husband was cheating? (Probably not the first time) Ashley has her head so far up her butt I’d expect a grand, princess wedding to be planned and for it to go ahead but it won’t be legal - she’ll get the huge fairytale wedding and party, get to show off to everyone, but then quietly not do anything legally because, well, they can’t. Then she and Albert will have this pretend marriage. If I were you, I wouldn’t support any of this. Ashley KNOWS the situation, she’s not being duped or conned, she’s literally willing to be engaged to a married man who most likely has been lying to her and manipulating and gaslighting her. Don’t sever ties though, she might need you when the fairytale comes crashing down.
9 Reply
View 3 more comments

15. AITJ For Wanting My Friend To Split The Bill With Us?

“My (21M) friend, C (20F), has a problem with picky eating. She rejects a wide range of food solely based on her liking. She doesn’t eat any chicken, fish, seafood, raw food (raw veggies, sashimi, and sushi), rice, cold food (cold drinks, sodas, ice creams), strongly flavored food, anything that feels dry in her mouth (crunchy food, nuts, battered or fried food) or any spicy food (even a tiny bit of chili heat is not OK).

This leaves her with a very narrow palate. She is also very underweight and having issues with appetite, so I am quite worried that she may be malnourished.

Recently, one of my other friends called everyone in our circle to eat out for dinner. We decided that we would eat Korean food that night.

C joined us AFTER we made the decision. She totally knew that we’d be eating Korean food, which would be a lot of rice, seafood, fried chicken, spicy stuff, and so on. On that night 6 people, including me and C, showed up for the dinner.

After we sat down in the restaurant, I especially asked C to pick 1 or 2 dishes from the menu because it seemed that she wouldn’t eat most of the dishes on the menu. She said, ‘It’s OK, I will just eat what you all ordered’. Then the remaining 5 of us made the order.

While we refrained from ordering very spicy or strongly-flavored food, all dishes ended up not to C’s liking. C only ate a tiny portion and claimed she was full. The rest of us ate a lot and cleared an entire table worth of food.

When the food was finished, we agreed to split the bill equally among the 6.

That would mean C, eating much less than everyone did, would pay as much as anyone else. C did not voice a complaint upfront (possibly due to peer pressure since it was 5:1 agree/disagree). After everyone headed home C threw a tantrum at me on text.

She yelled at me for scamming her since she was paying mostly for food that she didn’t eat. She felt that she should only pay for what she ate (it was very difficult since all dishes were meant for sharing, and she would look very stingy).

She would no longer eat out with the entire circle.

AITJ here?”

3 points - Liked by lebe, Alliauraa and Turtlelover60
Post

User Image
Kali 9 months ago
Sounds like a no-win situation, and that C came up with the perfect solution for everyone despite it being an emotionally manipulative threat: she no longer eats out with the group. Her food restrictions are severe, she knows this, OP knows this and warned her. C still made the choice to eat what everyone else ordered, despite knowing (I doubt she’s that stupid not to) there was nothing she could really eat. The group basically catered to her yet she still barely ate. When C paid, she felt taken advantage of. If she didn’t pay, the group would have felt taken advantage of. And really, you don’t get to show up, eat what other people ordered and just not pay, this dinner wasn’t supposed to be a free meal for her. So, I think C solved the problem by not going anymore.
13 Reply
View 6 more comments

14. AITJ For Not Going Back To Work?

“I (M 33) have a son (3). His mom passed away soon after childbirth. We weren’t married, or even together. It’s just one of those things.

We were friends though. And we had agreed to be co-parents so our child could grow up with two loving parents. If I’m going to be honest, I sort of hoped that we would become a regular family. Unfortunately, like I said, his mom died suddenly.

I was devastated and completely unprepared to be a single parent. I was just getting into the swing of things with the swaddling and diapers and all that. We were both teachers so she took maternity leave and I took paternity leave so we could start off right.

After she died I got depressed. I wasn’t in a good place and I moved in with my mom and stepdad. My mom took over parenting for a while but she works. So I had to step up. Being a dad meant I had to be there for my son.

He was my grief counselor. Not in that I put anything on him. Just that taking him out and taking care of him made me so happy I could deal better with my depression.

On our walks, I met a woman in my hometown. She is older than me.

She is not my mom’s age or anything she is 45. And she is well off from her divorce and her job. We started talking and after a while, we just sort of slipped together. Yes slipped not slept. We just fit. Last year my son and I moved in with her.

We are happy. This isn’t about me and her. It is about my parents.

They are calling me some unpleasant names for not going back to work. They say that I have a degree and that I should be working to take care of my son.

But I just don’t need to. My son has money in his educational fund from his mom’s life insurance. His mom also had a house that was paid off by insurance. He has a secure future. All I want to do is be his dad.

And my partner is okay with this. I am basically a house husband. I take care of the house, pick up her kids from school, and drive them to extracurriculars. And she and I are happy together. We are discussing marriage.

AITJ for not going back to work and supporting my son?

I know if the genders were reversed my parents would not care about a man supporting their daughter. My sister is a housewife. She also has a degree.”

3 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe, Alliauraa and 1 more
Post

User Image
YTJ 9 months ago
NTJ, your parents need to get out of the overly traditional mindset. This arrangement works for you and your partner, and best of all, you've made your son your top priority - exactly what a good dad does!
9 Reply
View 6 more comments

13. AITJ For Telling My Wife's Ex-Husband To Stay Away From My Son?

“My ex-wife and I had one son, Albert. When we split up, we both remarried. I remarried my current wife, and we have a daughter and a son. She remarried as well, and she had two sons. However, she ended up divorcing her husband, remarrying again, and having another kid.

So we’ll call her second husband Carl and her current husband Dan.

Now here’s the problem. Carl is my ex-wife’s ex-husband. He is not related to my son. He’s just Albert’s former (emphasis on former) stepfather. Carl really wants to maintain a relationship with Albert, but apparently, my ex told him to kick rocks and that the only kids he is entitled to see are his biological ones.

Carl eventually decided that since he wasn’t making headway with my ex, he would go through me. I shut that down. I hardly know Carl, and what little I do know of him irritates me. He told me he bonded with Albert and doesn’t want him to have abandonment issues.

I talked to Albert. He feels no abandonment issues and when I asked him if he missed Carl, he said no.

Carl said I am an insensitive jerk. He asked me how I would feel if I was told I could never see one of my kids again.

I said Albert isn’t one of his kids, so stay away from him and leave me alone. My wife said I was a little intense with my statement, and she kind of understands where Carl is coming from because if we were ever to (God forbid) split up, she would miss Albert too.

I don’t see how that is my problem. My ex is the one who married him, not me. He needs to talk to her. Apparently, Dan hates Carl and that’s why Carl can’t see Albert, but why is that my issue? I feel no obligation to this man.

Am I the jerk for that?”

2 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
anma7 9 months ago
NTJ… tho n you need to tell ex wife to deal with HER EX… if he insists on bothering you issue a cease and desist notice surely you and the ex can work together on this to make him back off and realise Albert doesn’t want to see him
7 Reply
View 3 more comments

12. AITJ For Joking With My Supervisor?

“I (23F) work as an email agent overnight in a call center. Because of how I look and talk, people tend to think that I’m soft or something.

The supervisor (late 20s or early 30s) has a tendency to joke around with everyone, but he seems to pick on me more.

He has this thing he does often where I could be having a normal discussion with my coworkers and he randomly twists my words to make a joke, to mean something inappropriate, or just makes unneeded comments at my expense.

Think for example if I said ‘I’m not riding that train’, he would say ‘You’re not riding WHAT!?’ and start laughing.

Or the time I started wearing lipstick, he said ‘What’s wrong with your mouth?’ and chuckled to himself.

If there are other guys there, they tend to pick up on his energy and double down with the ‘jokes’.

Even if he is not working that night, my guy coworkers continue his type of behavior.

It’s like I’m not being taken seriously at work, and I let it be known that I’m not okay with it, of course, they downplay what they’re doing as all a joke and continue.

So earlier this week, I was working overnight alone with the supervisor and one of my lady coworkers.

I was discussing a customer email with her and accidentally mixed up my words while talking. She and I were laughing about my mistake while the supervisor shook his head. So the mood being jokey, I said ‘So why are you shaking your head, boy?’ He then said ‘just because I joke around with you doesn’t mean you can say just anything to me.

Know your place.’

My other coworker had this weird look on her face after he said that. And we just got back to discussing the email for a potential solution.

AITJ for calling him ‘boy’? I mean I’m his subordinate and all.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Ninastid 9 months ago (Edited)
No you aren't at all and the next time he makes jokes I would record everything and get enough evidence then report him to hr and I would also keep making jokes back
10 Reply
View 3 more comments

11. WIBTJ If I Evict My Roommates With A Toddler?

“I (Male 27) have two roommates. We can call them A (M 25) and B (F 24). I also live with my wife (F 26).

They went 6 months without paying me a dime, and I let it slide because I have a heart. I figured no reason to kick them AND their one-year-old out since the one year did nothing to deserve homelessness.

They promised to get me the money that was owed to me. They have paid almost everything back, but now treat me like crap and say that I don’t do anything for anyone else and all I care about is myself.

Also, neither one of them likes cleaning, but they both love playing chef.

I say play because neither one of them can cook. My wife and I have done the dishes almost every single time. They will trash my kitchen and then complain that they won’t be bothered to buy fly traps since we all NOW have a fly problem.

Roommate B complains that she can’t clean or do any housework because she is raising a one-year-old, to which I would agree if that meant actually raising a child. Her version of raising a child is to put him in front of a TV with toys watching Mrs. Rachel for 10+ hours a day.

And putting the child to sleep for naps and feeding. But besides that, no actual parenting is done at all. So me and my wife, who want to be proud of our home, have bought flytraps, and cleaned, but we are getting sick of it.

I have done more for them than anyone else ever has. Roommate A decided he didn’t like the SUV he had, so he sold it without having another car. Well, my wife and I work literally minutes away from each other, so we carpooled and let them use my other car.

They reset my mileage, along with every one of my radio stations, and my electric seat placement, and they even burnt out (didn’t know this was possible) one of my seat warmers. I have not asked for any money for the 3 months they used my car or the gas money I was putting into it since they could not put gas in.

My breaking point was yesterday when I was supposed to have a plumber come in and look at my shower pipes because they leak really bad. Well, roommate A apparently called them and told them not to come to look and that we would have to reschedule because roommate B was sick and didn’t feel good.

Mind you she is apparently pregnant again. So now I am out my deposit for that plumber.

I also found out yesterday that the roommates are trying to get off my lease, however, I have to sign off on it first. They still owe me money.

Now since I disagreed with them about something stupid, he is in his feelings and doesn’t want to give me the money. But all that aside, I am floored because their one-year-old, the reason they still have a roof over their head, has DESTROYED my carpets.

My once-white/eggshell carpets are now brown. And have what looks like root beer stains all over my carpets (best way to describe it). So they are trying to stick me with the huge cleaning bill.

Would I be the jerk for wanting to evict my roommates along with their one-year-old?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Ninastid 9 months ago
Ntj and take pictures and save receipts and take them to court for all the damage they've done and immediately start the eviction process
8 Reply
Load More Replies...
View 5 more comments

10. AITJ For Taking My Kids To A Children's Theme Park?

“I have a lot of kids (‘A’ 17M, ‘B’ 14F, ‘C’ 13M, ‘D’ 10M, ‘E’ 6M, ‘F’ 10 months M). They don’t all have the same mom.

Anyway, whenever I have all the kids at the same time, I like to do something fun and exciting. So I took them to a popular children’s theme park. While there, it was HOT, so when my daughter wanted to see a princess-themed show in an air-conditioned theater, even the older boys were in.

Not long into the show, the baby started crying. I tried to calm him, but he apparently hated the show and needed everyone to know. My oldest offered to take him outside, bless him, so I thought we were good. Nope.

E started asking me questions.

‘Where are A & F? When are they coming back? What are they doing? Are they riding rides without us?’ He would not stop, and I could tell he was bothering other people. So I told the other three to stay put and that I would be right back.

I took E out to A, who managed to calm the baby. I asked if he minded watching E or going back inside and leaving E and F with me. A said he didn’t really like the show and asked for ice cream money. I handed it over and the three headed to the ice cream cart.

I got back inside thinking I’d solved the crisis, only to find the other two boys were loudly arguing about some perceived slight. I immediately ran over and hushed them, but they started yelling about how terrible each other was. I promised ice cream if they quieted down and forced them to sit on opposite sides of me.

Eventually, they chill out and then the show ends.

The theater exit was also a gift shop, and my daughter wanted a doll. As I waited in line to pay a woman came up to me and told me my ‘spoiled brats’ ruined the show and that I’m a terrible person and father.

I said ‘This is a children’s park. Don’t come here if you can’t handle kids being kids.’ She rolled her eyes and stormed off.

I get it. That was a lot. But it’s a kid’s park. Kids will be there. Babies cry. Kids fight.

It happens. What’s her excuse for calling my kids names where they could hear her? She’s just as bad as C & D in my opinion.

Am I wrong? What could I have done differently?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
ryfr 9 months ago
All these people saying YTJ probably would be tooting a different horn if it was the mother out with her 6 kids. Could you have handled the situation differently? Yes. Are you a jerk , No.
6 Reply
View 5 more comments

9. AITJ For Being Upset When My Dad Took Me To A Seafood Restaurant?

“Monday I graduated with a Master’s degree. My family came to visit from out of state and they even arranged secretly for a few other relatives to see me in person as well. I rarely see them and moved 2,000 miles on purpose because while I do love/care about them, their boundary-respecting skills are terrible and I struggle to put them up because of how intrusive/emotionally absent my parents were when I was growing up.

But that’s another story.

We had a good time at the ceremony and took pictures and all, and my dad said we had reservations to wrap it up. My mother had asked me (like a week before I want to say) where I wanted to go, a Brazilian churrascaria or a fancier American steakhouse.

I picked the Brazilian because of the budget and how many people we had, trying to be mindful (11 total).

The restaurant we ended up at was neither, but Pappadeaux. It’s seafood. That would have been fine, except I am highly allergic. There were only two things on the whole menu I could eat, steak and chicken/fries.

My mom has shellfish allergies (where I got them from) but not fish allergies, so she had a wider range of choices than me and didn’t speak up about the potential for reactions not once. So I worked my butt off 6 years straight and ended up being ‘celebrated’ with chicken tenders and fries while everyone else had shrimp and grits, catfish, salmon/shrimp pasta, etc.

I felt (and still do) really hurt and when I asked my dad why he booked a place he knew I could barely eat, he got mad and defensive, ‘Well you ate right,’ ‘Don’t make a big deal out of it’ and I just cried. Things like this are why I don’t like them being around, they make everything about themselves.

I was so relieved when they flew home.

EDIT: I’m freshly 21 years old. My parents fast-tracked me through school and used it as leverage (the loans they had to take out) to be controlling until I left the state, and the only thing I knew to do was that.

The distance part is complete, but the trauma and lack of privacy from the age of 15 until I could actually leave for the grad program still linger. (moved at 19 after scraping every penny from my 12-hour-a-week college cashier job at 17 to pay for a plane ticket out here during spring break and start looking to escape.

I was a literal child.) I am still struggling with this to date.”

2 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Kali 9 months ago
I am so sorry OP, your family, especially your father, sound terrible. I think after this go very LC. There was a reason you moved so far and they all just confirmed that the reason still stands. It’s so hurtful when parents, especially your father, act this way, and it can be really hard to process. Please look into therapy. Even if you choose to go full NC with everyone, you still have trauma. Therapy will help with this and help your mental health. It took me years, until I was in my mid 30s, to accept that my dad was never going to change. He could be loving and was a good father in a lot of ways, but he also had a cold, narcissistic side. I didn’t live close to my parents so visits weren’t frequent. I always tried to visit on my birthday since it was close to Mother’s Day. Every year (well practically) my dad would tell me “it’s your special day, where do you want to go for dinner?” I knew he had about 3 places he would eat at so I would pick the one that sounded best. I would tell him that it sounded so good because I hadn’t had it in a long time. He’d agree that it sounded good, but then would say “well I feel like Mexican!” (Or wherever I didn’t pick) with a big smile on his face and yep, that’s where we’d go. I couldn’t understand why he even bothered to ask me. Once he made up his mind about anything, that was it, we all had to do what HE wanted or he’d make EVERYONE miserable, including pretty much everyone in whatever restaurant we went to. He was terrible to the wait staff and could get down right embarrassing (one reason we only went to 3 places, he was the least horrible there). My dad passed last year and I do really miss him, but it really has been a huge weight lifted in a lot of ways.
6 Reply
Load More Replies...

8. AITJ For Making A Joke When My Mother-In-Law Was About To Go Home Early From Our Wedding?

“MIL was supposed to come to our wedding with her fiancé ‘Brad’ but a few weeks before the wedding, Brad and my husband got into an insane fight. I have never seen my husband act like that. We were actually kicked out of a restaurant, which was mortifying, and unforgivable things were said on both sides.

This whole fight started over who was going to pay for dinner on MIL’s birthday (both offered to pay).

This fight was so bad, that honestly, I don’t ever want to see Brad again. He is banned from our house. We are banned from theirs.

MIL texted my husband that she still loves him and will be there for his wedding if he wants her, but she doesn’t see them having much of a relationship ever again, because of the severity of this fight. We agreed that she could bring a friend as her plus one.

I expected them to leave somewhat early because MIL wouldn’t know many people there and isn’t a social person, and her friend despises my parents, but I was surprised when they tried to leave right after the ceremony. I found this extremely rude, as we had paid for dinner per person, and I was always taught that you don’t leave a wedding until the cake cutting.

My husband pointed that out, but MIL said she just felt weird and wanted to go home to Brad. Her friend laughed and said MIL was a liar and she wanted to go to someone’s birthday party. My husband was like fine do whatever.

I made a joke that we paid a lot of money for dinner and maybe I would send her a tab.

MIL looked pretty upset and stormed off. My husband said it was the wrong time to joke and came off as tacky because she wasn’t obligated to eat dinner.

MIL sent him a long angsty text (not her usual style at all) about how I was being a jerk and she was extremely uncomfortable being there.

She realized she had made a mistake, and I should have let her leave without caring about money. She said we were invalidating her feelings because of course she didn’t want to go to a birthday party (though social media proves she did go) and it was very hard for her to be there because she is still so angry.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
ryfr 9 months ago
Ick. While what you said may have been a bit tactless, you're NTJ. I'm sorry your spouse has a mother like that.
4 Reply
View 3 more comments

7. AITJ For Being Mad At My Dad For Giving Our PS4 Games Away?

“So I (20F) am an avid gamer. I had recently just got a PS5 and was transferring my PS4 games over.

But I’ve noticed that most of my games needed the disk in order to play, so I’ve kept most of the games. My brother (14M) also has his fair share of games as well which he also plays on our shared console. In total, we might have about 30 games, 60% of which we still play cause they have online features.

Recently, I have just gotten a new job so I’m gone in the afternoon and don’t come home until early next morning. When I got home to finally play my games, I wanted to play one of my oldest games. When I started the PS5, I noticed the box in which my brother and I kept our games and the old PS4 was gone.

Of course, I panicked, cause I bought all the games I owned which could be brought to about $500 (cause new games are about $60 each). I asked my brother and he said that he didn’t know. So I asked my dad.

My dad had donated all the games to a woman with 5 kids, whom he has quite a confusing relationship with.

He didn’t ask me or my brother at all if he could give them away. So I yelled at him that it wasn’t his to give away and should have asked my brother and me if he could give them away. He just shrugged and didn’t look remorseful.

He then told me that he wouldn’t get all the games back, only the mature games, and then after that I would have to give them back to the woman. I had explained to him that I needed the disk in order to play the games and he just huffed at me.

If he had just asked, I would have donated some of the games that I don’t play anymore and the PS4. But sometimes I feel like the jerk because I felt like I made the woman and her kids give back the games that my dad gave them.

And even if I got them back, my dad would guilt trip me into giving them back to the woman. I don’t want to pay for them again online and I don’t really want to give them my games.

Am I the jerk?”

2 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Kali 9 months ago
NTJ The dad literally STOLE them from his kids, how in any way does that make OP the jerk? And considering that OP’s an adult, he could easily press charges. And considering the overall cost of the games being at least $500, it could end up being a bit more serious than the dad expected. Might not be the best option since he and his brother still live there, but it might be worth exploring.
9 Reply
View 3 more comments

6. AITJ For Not Wanting To Play With The Kid I Used To Babysit?

“So my mom’s friend recently held this open house/garage sale-like thingy where anyone could set up a table at her self-made hair salon to sell whatever they wanted. She let me (18f) set up a table so I could sell my own baked goods since said Mom’s friend really liked my baking & wanted me to earn a little money & exposure so I could keep doing it as a potential job.

Well, during the open house, a kid (11f) I used to babysit came up to me asking me if I wanted to play with her & her sister (10f). I said no, because I had to stay at my table so I could deal with my business, and help people understand what a certain dessert was, you get it, you got it.

She got really, REALLY upset with me saying she DESPERATELY needed someone to do something with because her sister was off playing with the other children that were there too & I was the only ‘kid’ there that she knew.

(For background information, the kid I used to babysit (whom I will call Ava) is autistic & home-schooled. She was horribly bullied because of the former & that’s why she’s the latter now & is scared of other children her age.

She has no other way of socializing with kids her age. I don’t know if she goes to any kind of therapy to help her deal with her trauma since her mom’s one of those people who doesn’t like the healthcare system.)

I got really upset because I knew if I said no again she would have an emotional meltdown & I would be at fault with it.

But at the same time, I just can’t be this kid’s source of only social interaction because I’m at the age where I’m applying to colleges & will be out of town if I ever get accepted & go to them. Plus, regardless of those other two things an 18-year-old being ‘friends’ with an 11-year-old is… weird (in my honest opinion).

I made up my mind & told her this: ‘Ava, I’m sorry but I just can’t play with you or do whatever we used to do when we were all younger because I’m an adult now. I’m working towards making this my job and I just don’t have the time I used to back then.

Plus, I plan on going out of town for university & even then I am way too old to be hanging out with you & your sister. I have adult responsibilities, and this is just one of many of them. I’m sorry, but please & kindly leave me alone while I keep working.’

Ava broke down & had a massive meltdown after I told her that. And I felt terrible too. But, it was the truth. Her mom noticed & took her & her sister home early because of what I said. I felt awful. AITJ for telling a kid I used to babysit to leave me alone?”

2 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Sugarbee23 9 months ago
I have an autistic nephew that will never mentally age past roughly 6yo (he's 22yo now). Nobody else is responsible for his reactions or dealing with them except for him and my brother. It is also explained to my nephew when he gets upset that people are allowed to say no and have boundaries and we repeat that to him no matter how often it happens - the repetition doesn't necessarily make him comprehend it, but it does stick somewhat. Even if it doesn't, it still isn't anyone else's fault or responsibility.
6 Reply
View 3 more comments

5. AITJ For Not Telling My Friend About My Bet With My Partner's Dad?

“My friend and I live in one of my partner’s dad’s properties. I’ve known them my whole life because he’s my dad’s best friend, and my partner and I’ve been going out for 5 years now. His dad let us live here for cheap while we finished college.

So, my friend and I (both 23F) are just about to graduate and move out of this apartment. She’s going back to our hometown and I’m moving with my partner at the end of December, as I just said, we’ve been living here for cheap for the last 5 years (I know rents here go from 2,100 to 2,800, but we only have to pay $500).

Around June my partner and his family had a small party for his mom and I was invited. At night while we were a little wasted, we played Mario Kart and I went against his dad. I bet that if I win he had to spare the last 6 months of my rent and he agreed. Well, I won and he stayed true to his word so I haven’t been paying rent since then while my friend has (he didn’t increase her payment or anything).

However, I didn’t tell her at all because it didn’t seem really important and it didn’t affect her in any way.

I’ve been saving the funds I normally use for rent for when my partner and I live together, and a few days ago, my dad called and asked if he could borrow $1,000.

I said sure, my friend happened to hear and asked how could I spare 1K so easily and I finally told her about the bet.

Well, she was pretty mad. She said it wasn’t fair that she has been paying each month and I haven’t just because ‘I’m close to the landlord’.

I said I was more than close since he might be my FIL and she said she didn’t care because I shouldn’t have those privileges while we live together. I said that the fact that we LIVE TOGETHER and only paid 500 a month was part of THOSE privileges and she didn’t mind then.

She called me a jerk and she’s not talking to me right now, so I’m wondering if I should’ve told her sooner.”

2 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
rbleah 9 months ago
NONE OF HER BUSINESS.
10 Reply
View 6 more comments

4. AITJ For Telling My Friend I Won't Be Going To Vegas For Her Birthday Because She Forgot Mine?

“I (22f) have been friends with ‘Mary’ (22f) since we were 8 years old. Neighbors to best friends and we still remain friends to this day.

As adults, we drifted away some, but as of the last two years, I have been a part of her new friend group. It’s one of those situations where I only come if Mary comes, and I am actually okay with that since they are mainly her friends.

Despite busy schedules and some of us still in college, I only see everyone once a week or every other now.

I will say this, birthdays are a big deal with us. Especially with Mary. One time when we were teens I forgot a certain date (not a birthday, an anniversary) and she would not speak to me for a while she was so upset.

Remember this for later.

Parties are always thrown and in the past, they even went to Vegas to celebrate. Next year we are going to Vegas to celebrate Mary’s birthday and that was planned 8 months ahead. We are supposed to be buying our tickets in October.

Birthday parties are really not optional either, everyone’s gotta go! We also do gifts and the usual stuff. Usually, everyone’s birthday is discussed in advance and we do plan something, but my birthday has never been discussed while I was around. I’m not the kind of person to plan my own party either.

I knew I was going to be alone for my birthday because my significant other would be on a trip out of town that was unavoidable and we had known for a while. My friends were also aware.

I texted Mary and asked her what we should do that weekend (not mentioning my birthday) and she told me she would ‘most likely be with her new SO (of two weeks) but she wasn’t really sure yet’.

She said ‘Yeah I’ll probably be with him on Sunday’ (my birthday). I said ‘Oh ok.’

I was hoping maybe they would remember and even my SO said ‘Hey maybe they are throwing you a surprise party’ to get my hopes up.

They actually did forget.

Everyone forgot. I never missed a birthday and I never missed a party and I always gave a gift.

I told Mary I would not be going to Vegas with them for her birthday either. That will make everything more expensive for everyone and they will now have to cancel the trip overall since another person backed out before me.

It’s just too expensive with fewer people. Now her birthday trip is ruined. If I go, the trip is back on but I’ve decided against it. My friends are very upset that I’m being this sensitive about my birthday enough to ruin a whole planned trip, relying on me as a participant.

Now I feel bad because not only was my day ruined, now hers is too, as well as everyone looking forward to the trip. It is all my fault that the trip is canceled now.

Everyone is so busy with school/jobs/life that everyone just forgot.

AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by Whatdidyousay, lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Sugarbee23 9 months ago
No. Everyone did not forget because they were busy. They just didn't acknowledge it because you are the "B-list" friend. The fringe friend. The friend that is invited to reduce costs for everyone else and only if there is still room after the A-listers have accepted or declined. The friend that is invited to boost the ego of the person bring celebrated because everyone will see that they have so many friends. And THAT is total BS, but unfortunately every group has one or two.
14 Reply
View 6 more comments

3. AITJ For Calling My Professor Unprofessional For Switching My Class Over A Joke?

“I (18M) just started at uni for the first time and it’s been 2 weeks since teaching started. Our class for one of the core subjects has around 40 people (niche degree), so it’s split into 2 tutor groups that have tutorials separately, and we all have practicals together.

One group is led by the main professor who runs the practical sessions as well (he is an older guy), and the other one is led by a female grad student who also comes to the practicals and helps the professor run them too. Also, the cohort is 38 boys and 2 girls.

As we were leaving our first practical this week, my coursemate said something like oh I hope the grad student will run classes as well as a professor. Another mate said that he’s read some of the grad student’s experiment outlines and that she’s really good at (niche area we’re interested in).

Just casual talk, so as a kind of joke I replied that I hoped I get put into the grad student’s group because she was really hot and I’d love some one-on-one sessions with her. You know just riffing off how you can do one-on-one tutorials if you’re struggling, it was a JOKE.

I’m not saying it was a good thing to say, but you’d be lying if you didn’t admit you never found someone teaching you attractive.

I made sure she wasn’t in earshot but the professor was and he gave me a kind of nasty look which was fair I suppose.

I get home and find out to my joy I am in the grad student’s class, but the next day I get a notification that my timetable changed and now I’m in the class run by the professor.

I assumed it was just an ordinary switch for technical reasons and didn’t care but after the first tutorial, the professor asked me to stay back and told me the reason he reassigned me to his group was because of the ‘unacceptable comments’ I made about the grad student.

It turns out she was his student (she works on his project) and he probably felt protective of her. He started giving me a lecture about how it was ‘completely unacceptable’ to make those types of comments about staff in a public teaching space (we were exiting a lecture hall).

I apologized but said he was unprofessional for switching my class just for a joke, and that the joke wasn’t even that bad since she was only a few years older than us anyway. My justification is if you’re a young TA teaching in a heavily male environment, you learn to ignore comments from idiotic joker blokes like us.

I’m not proud of this but I accused him of white knighting for her and that she wouldn’t even have known if he hadn’t told her, so HE was the person who made her uncomfortable. He then said I was the one who needed to learn to behave like I was at a reputable university, and told me that he would report me if I said anything like that in front of him again.

My friends agreed with me, but when I mentioned it to my sister, she took the professor’s side.

Which one of us is the jerk?”

1 points - Liked by lebe and Alliauraa
Post

User Image
Crazyone 9 months ago
WOW, you are the epitome of privileged white male. NO SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GET USED TO HAVING JERKS LIKE YOU MAKE UNCOMFORTABLE, BELITTLING COMMENTS! I was that female 40 years ago, you a$$ hats haven’t changed especially when you have not taken responsibility for the tacky disgusting comments. In a niche field with few people YOUR reputation will proceed you, job offers will dry up or you will be stuck with companies that don’t expand because they are filled with boys who are like minded. You and your friends who agree with you need to step back and see what is happening in the real world or it is going to pass you by. No
10 Reply
View 5 more comments

2. AITJ For Not Wanting Our Daughters To Go To Disney Without Us?

“My (M 28) wife (F 28) and I have two daughters (6 & 5 years old) who are prime Disney ages.

They’re both super into princesses and all that. We’ve talked about taking them to Disney over the next few years as we know they’d love it. My wife has never been before, and I’ve only been once – when I was 10 years old.

It was definitely a memorable trip for me as my family had to save up a while for it. We’ve always known that Disney would be our big trip with our girls.

In July, my FIL was diagnosed with prostate cancer. After a few rounds of chemo and some rather intense stays at the hospital, it’s only gotten worse.

It’s spread across to other organs in his body, and rather than trying to suffer to fight it, he’s opted to just not do chemo and try to live with what time he has left. As a result, he and my MIL have decided to make more memories with family.

One of these memories is to take our daughters to Disney & surprise them with the trip yesterday during Christmas.

At first, I thought my wife would be against it as well – we’ve always said we’ve wanted to get to experience taking them and seeing their faces.

However, I found out that my MIL cleared it with my wife last month. My wife didn’t tell me because she thought I would be surprised and excited for our daughters. I sat through all of the rest of the night, but when we got home we had a serious discussion about it.

I told my wife that I didn’t want our daughters’ first trip to Disney to be without us. She suggested we go along, but the trip is in February, and booking flights + hotel + tickets for just my wife and me for the time they’re all going is still going to be almost $5000.

I told my wife that we have to talk to her parents & decline the trip, but my wife is saying that I’m being selfish and heartless by robbing our daughters of this experience & robbing them of a core memory with my FIL before he passes.

Am I being out of line here?”

-2 points (2 vote(s))
Post

User Image
anma7 9 months ago
ESH… she’s losing her DAD she wasn’t thinking about your feelings she was thinking about her dad and the kids, in an ideal world he wouldn’t be dying and you would be the ones to take the kids to Disney for the first time but life happens. You have 2 choices here….
Accept you won’t be the first to take them and save up and take them when they are older and after FIL passes OR
Go with them and have a last holiday with your fil before he gets so sick he can’t lift his head never mind watch his girls laugh at Disneyworld
4 Reply
View 2 more comments

1. AITJ For Not Kicking Out My Mother?

“I (42M) am a single dad who lives by myself with my only daughter Jessica (13F). Her mother who is my ex had no contact and left me with her to raise. It went by fine until we had some financial struggles, plus my new job schedule couldn’t make me leave Jessica home alone.

So I’ve decided to let my mom, her grandmother, stay with us for as long as she wants. My mother is a very nice woman, but she’s pretty old school but I doubt it would clash with Jessica that much. Turns out I was wrong.

When I got home, Jessica complained about how her grandmother kept ranting about her being on her phone while they were eating. A minor issue so I told my mom to let her do what she wanted. She agreed to let it go and I thought that was that.

But another incident involved my mom not letting Jessica have dessert because she would end up becoming ‘fat as a whale.’ I stood up for my daughter in this case and told my mom not to say things like that, and let her have dessert.

I thought it was done then.

But here comes the biggest incident. I came home to Jessica crying, apparently, my mom took away her phone and ranted about her generation. She also told her to stop crying once she got upset because it’s annoying and teenagers are so enabled these days.

I got really mad at my mother for this, but she told me that I’m letting my daughter get away with too much and she needs to learn proper discipline.

My daughter came to me asking me to kick out my mother. I told her no because we really need her right now and I told her to just ignore her dumb comments.

Jessica got really upset and ended up getting mad at BOTH of us because of this. Now she barely comes out of her room.

Am I the jerk for this? Because I really want them to get along.”

-3 points (3 vote(s))
Post

User Image
DncgBbyGroot 9 months ago
Like you, I am 42, but I am a woman. I am going to assume our mothers are probably around the same age. My mother was very much like your mother when I was growing up. As a result, I have not spoken to my parents in years. If you let this toxicity continue, your daughter will completely cut you and the toxic old bag out of her life.
5 Reply
View 4 more comments

Sometimes it's obvious, other times it's not! You decide who you think is the jerk! Upvote, downvote, and comment on your favorite stories by signing up for a Metaspoon account. Click Log In at the top right corner of this page to get started. (Note: Some stories have been shortened and modified for our audiences).