People Hope We Won't Be Biased When Judging Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
33. WIBTJ If I Got Emancipated?
“Hi I am Em (16F). Long story short my mom was diagnosed with B Cancer and passed away 6 months ago. My dad left my mom when I was 1yr. and never was in my life.
When my mom realized she wasn’t going to win her fight she decided to find and reach out to my dad. I ended up moving in with him and his family.
He has 2 stepdaughters who he is very close to. We are close in age. I am happy he has a good/happy life. Even though I was not part of it growing up.
I feel like my dad has tried to fix our relationship but, whenever I feel like we are taking a step forward my stepmom complains. Then it ends up in a major fight.
Because of that. I feel like in the end we take 2 steps back. Causing more distance between us. I don’t know how to really explain it other than to her it’s like some kinda competition between me and my step sisters with my stepmom.
My dad enrolled me in school by his house. He bought me a school uniform. (From the trust my mom left me). Which I needed to attend. My stepmom got angry I got new clothes.
So to keep peace he had to buy 2 outfits each for my step sisters. (From his personal account.) Fights like this have been going on since I moved in. It’s made it super hard to even talk to him without major drama.
I miss my mom. I don’t feel like I can even talk to my dad about it. The trustee (my mom’s best friend) told me that my trust is paying my dad a high monthly allotment to take care of me.
However I am reminded all the time what a “burden” I am financially to my dad. From my stepmom. It’s become very hurtful.
I am thinking about the money my mom left me.
Along with I started working after school. I could easily afford my own place. Until I finish school. I feel like I don’t fit into my dad’s new life. In order to stop the drama/pain I am thinking about filing for emancipation from my dad.
I just don’t want the daily fights and reminders I don’t belong in my dad’s new life anymore. It’s clear to me things won’t get better with time.
As long as my stepmom is in the picture.
So WIBTJ if I had my dad served with emancipation papers when I know he has tried?”
32. AITJ For Making An Unserious Offer For My SIL To Adopt My Baby?
“My husband has one sibling, Susan. Susan and her husband James got married the same year my husband and I did. By 2020, my husband and I were expecting our third child.
Susan and James were looking into adoption as they haven’t been able to have children. When we found out we were expecting (son), Susan started asking if we wanted to give him up to them and only have two children.
While my youngest child is my last, obviously we weren’t going to give him up. I was tired of people acting like it was my responsibility to give children to the entire family, but my husband wanted them to think that it was their choice to stop asking, so my husband and I came up with an offer.
We would give up (son) to Susan and James under the following conditions: we got to name him, we would get him for summers and some weekends so he could know his siblings, and they wouldn’t be allowed to raise him under their religious beliefs, only ours.
Oh, and the baby could choose what to call us. We wouldn’t discourage any title, even mom and dad. All conditions that NOBODY in their right mind would ever adopt under.
They stopped calling after that and the rest of the pregnancy and the 4th trimester passed as peacefully as possible. Susan and James even came to visit us a few weeks ago.
Last week, we got a call from them saying that they were now totally cool with those restrictions and wanted to move ahead with an adoption. Apparently their visit made them realize that they would “accept anything” to raise (son).
I was shocked and told them that that wasn’t really ever on the table, that I had only said that because I thought it would make them realize it was never happening.
Now they’ve gotten my husband’s parents involved. They say the fact that we were able to joke about such a thing means that we don’t deserve to have any of our children, let alone (son) and that we shouldn’t offer deals that we never intended to hold up.
My husband’s parents think that it would be fine either way because two children are plenty, and the baby will get better attention and still “know who his parents are” but that we owe Susan and James a major apology for giving them hope and that (son) will think we don’t love him because we thought that was joke material.
I don’t think this deserves an apology because who would ever think that kind of response was a serious offer? What would that apology even be? Now things are strained and we might get barred from Thanksgiving.
Am I in the wrong here?”
31. AITJ For Not Going To Family Thanksgiving Because Of How Awful My Cousin Is?
“My (20f) mom (45f) passed away last April from her battle with depression and addiction. She left my sister (17f) and me everything considering she didn’t have a will. My mom and cousin (32f) never got along and neither do my sister and me.
They were never close.
Here it goes. My mom was a collector of designer brands. Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Hermès, etc. She never flaunted it but my family knew she had it.
As soon as she passed, my one cousin (mentioned above) was LOCKED in on getting her hands on it. My sister and I were polite and said once we went through her things and kept the things we wanted/wanted to sell to help with bills/funeral expenses, everyone was more than welcome to take some of her things.
Well, my cousin didn’t like that answer. She knows that I don’t put up with her crap. So she waited until I was at work. My sister and her best friend started the process of cleaning my mom’s basement apartment and since I was working, I trusted them to take the lead on this.
Well, I was at work and I got a phone call from my sister. I pick up the phone and she is sobbing and hyperventilating. I finally calmed her down and she told me I needed to come home cause my great aunt and cousin were taking my mom’s things and my grandma was letting them.
I saw RED. I rushed home and came downstairs to see my cousin taking anything of value. My sister and I didn’t even have the chance to look through anything cause she already had this stuff in a bag.
She saw me on the stairs and I told her that she needed to let my sister and I go through everything first. My aunt butted in and said that my cousin came to help clean and she just wanted to have some things to remember my mom by.
I asked if the only thing she wanted to remember was all of the designer bags and accessories. She looked disgusted and I made my cousin put everything back and leave her stuff alone.
She has resented me ever since. So Thanksgiving this year rolls around and my aunt normally hosts every year. My sister and I declined to go because of how she and her daughter were during our grieving process.
I wasn’t rude and just said that my sister and I had other plans this year. Well my grandma went and when she came home she told us that my aunt and cousin think my sister and I were petty and bratty for not going this year because of an argument over materialistic items and I shouldn’t have declined and went.
So AITJ for not going to Thanksgiving?”
30. AITJ For Telling My Dad That My Stepmom Stole My Christmas Presents?
“My (16F) dad’s family comes from old money, his parents never approved of his relationship with my mother and neither did they approve of her pregnancy, he didn’t see me for the first 10 years of my life until my grandparents died.
Before that when I was 7, my mother started to see Melissa, my step-mom, who has a daughter named Grace who’s two years older than me. She used to be mean to me because she had a dad and I didn’t, things got worse when she found out that I DID have a dad, he just wasn’t around me.
Her dad had to intervene to make the bullying stop.
Three years after that my dad contacted my mom, explained what happened and we reconnected, Grace’s attitude changed too because at the same time her dad started to distance himself from them until he ended up moving two states away to be closer to his new wife’s family when I turned 13.
I remember that, during the first years if my dad bought me something, he’d buy something for Grace too, not as big or meaningful, but he never left her out, she usually threw fits at Christmas because he usually buys me tech (phones, iPads, laptops, headphones) and only gets her clothes (pretty and good clothes, tbh).
This Christmas is the worst though, since Grace has to move for uni next year, her mom wanted to bring her grandparents, uncles, cousins, and dad to celebrate, so she asked me to spend New Year’s with my dad this year, I said yes.
My dad came a few days ago to drop off our gifts in which he included a brand new car because now that Grace is moving, she can’t take me around anymore, I was honestly so happy and excited. When Grace and her mom arrived and saw the car they thought that it was for her (from her dad or grandparents because she’s the one leaving for college), but my mom kindly explained to them that my dad dropped it off for me, they didn’t like it but anyway, they were excited about the small party for Grace.
This morning, my mom and Grace were with my grandpa dropping some stuff off so it was only my step-mom and me. Around 10 am Grace’s dad called and said that he wouldn’t be able to make it and that he ”wished her luck” before hanging up, it was so messed up.
My step-mom was so mad and when I asked what I could do she said she’ll show me and started to take all my presents from the tree, I was so confused and when she took my keys I asked what was she doing.
She said that Grace didn’t need to feel like second best during this Christmas too and that I’d have to open them later. I said that she couldn’t take the things my dad gave me and she only answered with a ”I’m your mom, I can do whatever I want” and hopped in my car and left. I called my mom to tell her what happened and after that, I called my dad.
He told my moms that if Melissa didn’t give back my things he’ll report them as stolen, including my car and while my mom is torn between us, Melissa and Grace said that I ruined Christmas because my step-mom might go to jail and that not everything is about me.”
29. AITJ For Blaming My Son For Ruining His Relationship With His Family?
“I (45F) am married to my husband Henry (45M) and we have multiple children together, the oldest being my twins Christian (17M) and Elizabeth (17F).
Liz was going to turn 15 come January of 2019, and as we are Hispanic, it was tradition to hold a Quinceñera for a girl on her 15th birthday. Christian didn’t even want to go, but I said that wasn’t an option and it stopped there.
Everything seemed to go smoothly until later on when it was time to escort her into the party. Chris did his part but he was not enthusiastic at all. Near the end of the night it was time for the dance with Liz and her brother, but he did not show up, even after the announcer repeated his name thrice.
My daughter was left alone and she started crying and I was absolutely furious. I could not believe he would do this to her. I tried to call his cell but he had blocked me everywhere.
After getting home, the twins never spoke to each other again. Liz adjusted to this just fine. Chris however struggled with behavioral issues after that and everyone else in the family distanced themselves from him aside from my brother.
I’m not sure what happened, but after this school year came around (Sept 2021), he took a complete 180. He had gotten a perfect score in a subject he never once liked or was able to comprehend the material of.
His teachers thought he was plagiarizing, honestly, and I confronted him about it. He seemed angry at the question but dismissed it and did not say a word to me.
Anyway, last night I received an email about senior pictures yesterday and wanted the two to take pictures together, as this was such an important milestone, but Liz refused and called him dishonest. Chris retorted and called her jealous now that he was better than her at something and he wouldn’t want to associate with a lousy family anyway, which made me snap at him.
I told him that everyone has put up with his nonsense for so long and he only has himself to blame for no one wanting to interact with him in the family for doing such a horrible thing, and he called me a jerk.
Henry stepped in and we told him that if he felt this way and talked to us this way he wouldn’t be allowed in the house anymore. He ended up going to his room and calling his uncle about staying with him, and out of nowhere, my brother starts calling me the jerk and claiming I have always had a clear bias and it was my fault the twins ended up this way, but I firmly reminded him that Christian was the one who ruined his sister’s party!
I don’t even have a bias for either of my children. To be honest it’s all getting to me at this point, I know it sounds fake, I really wish it was.
I really need to know, how am I possibly the jerk here?”
28. AITJ For Making My SIL Believe That I Would Sell My Daughter To Her?
“So to judge this story, there are a couple of key background info you need to know.
- My SIL and Brother have known they were infertile for a couple of years now.
They tried to adopt but between SIL’s chronic illness, my brother’s sporadic income, and Australia’s notorious difficulties of adopting kids, they’ve given up. We tend to shy away from talking about it since SIL is very sensitive.
- Our family has a long-running joke that my older brothers and I are orphans my parents got from Sydney Harbour, but since SIL has sensitive issues regarding adoption, I don’t think we’ve ever said it around her.
Last weekend, I was visiting my parents when my SIL was there. Our youngest was with me since my wife didn’t want to bring the baby out shopping.
Bub was being fussy, and I made the joke to my parents that maybe I should leave her under the Harbour Bridge and exchange her for a calmer baby.
I realized too late that SIL was there, and I probably shouldn’t have made that joke around her, but she didn’t seem visibly affected. Dad, obliviously, riffed off my joke and said that I shouldn’t exchange her, I’ve raised her for 16 months, and I should ask for some compensation from her new parents, to which I said, that’s probably smart, we have a mortgage to think about.
SIL, at this point, interjects, “Well how much would you sell her for?” I was surprised she joined in on the joke, and said, “Oh, I’d have to ask the Missus, she carried her for nine months after all.” I assumed that was that, but I got a call from SIL on Wednesday morning, where she asked me if I’d asked my wife about the price?
I was very confused, asked for clarification and she outright told me, “You said you’d sell _____ for the right price? She’d be better with me than a stranger.” I responded pretty incredulously, “You don’t actually think I’m selling my daughter, right?” thinking that she was going to just say she was joking and I was just not picking up on her tone correctly.
But she got huffy and ended the call.
I got a call later that night from my brother angrily saying that I was cruel to get my SIL’s hopes up for no reason, and then mocking her when she was already feeling vulnerable due to her infertility.
That he expected better of me, and that he thinks it best if I reconsider coming to Family Christmas (hosted by our parents) since SIL doesn’t want to see me, my wife, or the kids for a long time.
My wife, who isn’t a fan of my SIL due to how she treated her during her pregnancies, is unsurprisingly on my side. My father, most likely chastised by my brother too, is just saying I should apologize to SIL, bring her a nice bottle of CabSav and some cheeses.
Mum is staying out of it, and my other brother is mostly on my side but doesn’t want Christmas ruined for everyone over a dumb joke.
So AITJ? Should I be apologizing to SIL to keep the peace?”
27. AITJ For Kicking My Brother Out After He Got Rid Of My Dad's Cat?
“I (29M) have a property that was inherited from my mom’s side of the family when she passed away. It’s a large house with 3 acres of land. It’s out of my home state so I decided my dad should be the one living there.
He passed away 2 years ago. Before that he had adopted a cat. It was a stray cat that found its way there and kept coming back because my dad would leave food out for him.
Then let him in the house whenever he wanted. I’m not a fan of cats but my dad loved him and I didn’t have any problems with him having a pet companion.
Sometime after my dad convinced me to let my younger brother (27M) David move in because he got laid off from work and needed somewhere to live for a while. He lived in the detached house around the back of the main house and again I was fine with that.
After my dad passed a family friend ended up moving into the place. She took over with caring for the cat while she lives there because I know how much my dad loved him.
And it meant a lot for me to still have someone looking out for him.
He’s an outside cat so he roams around wherever he wants and comes home later.
But she told me that he went out in the morning and didn’t come back which he always does because he wants his breakfast. I asked my brother about it a few times since he’s the only other person living there but he pretended not to know anything.
A week went by and nothing. I’m about ready to fly over there and look for the cat myself and he tells me not to bother. Finally I got it out of him.
He was sick and tired of the cat (he hates cats) and with my dad gone he didn’t see the point in keeping it around.
He told me he drove the cat like an hour away from there so it wouldn’t find its way back to the house.
Oh I lost my cool on him. He knows because I told him the cat stays THERE. Because he was my dad’s and that’s its home. It’s not like he needed to take care of it.
That’s what my friend was for. I’d send her money for food and vet stuff and she takes care of him. David didn’t have to do a single thing.
He just didn’t like the cat’s presence. And yeah I told him to get out of my house. If he refused then I’d get a formal eviction. I was just so mad honestly, I couldn’t believe he would get rid of an innocent living creature that our dad loved. Like I said I don’t like cats either but it’s the fact that my dad did that makes the difference.
David moved his stuff out but everyone thinks I majorly overreacted by simply kicking him out.
Even more right now that the economy is bad and he’s gonna be struggling more financially because everywhere the rent is crazy expensive and he’s not even making enough to get by.
Right now I’m still very angry and hurt. All I know is I don’t want to see him or speak because of this. But I don’t know if it was an overreaction on my part to kick him out over that and if I’m the jerk for taking away a place to live.”
26. AITJ For Not Flying My Daughter Down For Thanksgiving?
“I (40M) have a 19-year-old daughter with my ex and two small children (7 and 2 years old) with my wife. My daughter lives in Nevada with her mother.
I live in Virginia. I FaceTime with her a few times a week for about an hour or two to catch up. The last time she visited me in person was in June, she stayed for a week.
She was quite rude to my wife giving her the side eye and an attitude with everything she said to her and wasn’t really engaging with our small kids. She was cold towards them.
She was trying to get my full attention constantly and then got mad when I gave attention to my wife or the younger ones.
I invited my daughter out to my house for Thanksgiving last month and offered to pay for her flights.
She said she didn’t know if she was going to have to work and if her mother had plans and that she would get back to me. I asked her again last week and she still didn’t know what was going on.
So I didn’t buy her plane tickets. (She would’ve come out last night and stayed until Sunday night)
Yesterday, I took my 7-year-old to the mall and then ice skating.
I posted his pics on social media because I thought they were cute and my daughter saw them. She got jealous and commented “I guess being your first born doesn’t mean anything to you because you go and do things with your other kids and leave me out of everything again..you act like I don’t even exist..
gee I wonder what it would be like to have a father, I don’t know why you pretend to care about me.” I did talk to her on FaceTime for about a half hour last night but she was acting weird and giving me an attitude.
I asked if everything was ok and if she wanted to talk about anything and she abruptly ended the call and ignored my texts.
The 7 and 2-year-old live with me, she does not.
I’m going to be more active in their lives because I see them every day and I do things with them all the time. I’ve offered to move her out here and she doesn’t want to because she hates my wife for some reason and she is jealous of the younger ones.
She wants it to be all about her and my attention constantly on her.
I am at my mom’s house right now with my wife and two kids for Thanksgiving and my daughter will not stop calling me.
She told me she’s not at work and her mom is in a bad mood and they aren’t doing anything. She called me selfish for not buying her plane tickets and getting her hopes up for nothing and she hopes I choke on my food.
She said I am the worst father ever no father would exclude their daughter in holiday plans for their other family. She told me not to FaceTime her ever again and to pretend she doesn’t exist and she hates me..I am now ignoring her calls because I feel she is trying to ruin our Thanksgiving.”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting My Husband To Stay Over At His Gay Friend's Place?
“I met my husband (Luke) seven years ago when he lived with his childhood best friend (Sam), sharing an apartment in NYC.
When I first met Sam, he didn’t seem to like me very much. He ignores me, walks away when I visit the apartment, doesn’t smile, doesn’t respond if I ask a question, etc. At first, I thought he was gay and maybe had a crush on Luke (just my instincts), but Luke assured me that he is not and was just shy.
A few months later, their third roommate moves out, and Sam invites one of his friends (Will) to take the extra room. Will is bisexual and has a friend John who is gay.
I didn’t have any problems with this situation until I felt that they were openly disrespecting my relationship. There were so many instances, but I will list a few.
- They always text Luke, calling him “baby”, etc., and asking if he would go to events with them without me.
- One time, John started hitting on Luke in front of me (touching his face, etc.) and said something like he could turn him gay.
- Another time, John started touching Luke when they were working together until Luke asked him to stop.
- They all did substances together (I wasn’t there), and John made a move on Luke, which supposedly made him super uncomfortable, so he left (he told me later).
Given that I come from a highly conservative background, this made me feel very weird, and I told him I didn’t want to hang out with his friends anymore (I didn’t tell him not to, but I made it clear that I don’t like John).
That, combined with the fact that Luke and I were moving in together when their lease was up (they thought he would renew it with them), upset these friends, and they decided to stop talking to him.
We moved out and moved on and lost touch with them (we got married four years after that). About two years ago, we found out that Sam was, in fact, gay and got married to Will.
Now all three of them are living together in NYC.
To make the long story short, Luke and I moved to the UK last year, and Luke is visiting the USA now on a personal trip.
He did not tell me where he plans to stay in NYC until last night when he mentioned he would be staying with Sam, Luke, and John (crashing on their couch).
He said he asked all his friends in NYC, but only Sam could accommodate him, although it was the first time he spoke with Sam after all these years. This upset me, and I told him it weirds me out and makes me uncomfortable.
Then Luke got upset with me, asking if I were worried he would turn gay and hook up with them, etc. I got upset and ended the conversation.
I see how this story makes me seem homophobic, but I am not (believe it or not).
I am just unhappy my husband is planning to stay with these people who disrespected me and my relationship. I told him if he wanted to get a coffee or dinner with Sam it’s ok but staying overnight makes me uncomfortable.
Am I in the wrong with how I feel?”
24. AITJ For Telling My Patients That I Have A Wife?
“I (42M) am an oncologist, a doctor that treats cancer patients.
You see, because of the nature of my practice, patients tell me a lot of things about their lives when they come for their regular check-ups (I joke with them that I am both their oncologist and their psychologist).
This ends up in conversations in which they also ask about my personal life. It’s normal, and I don’t have a problem with it.
Problem is, I am a happily married gay man and most of my patients are elderly ( 70+) Catholic devotees.
I have never been a fan of taking off my wedding ring because of fear of losing it and in my native language there is no neutral word for partner that you can use in normal conversation without it sounding extremely weird.
Taking all this into account, and in order to prevent problems or awkwardness in our doctor-patient bond, I decided to just tell them I have a wife instead of a husband when they asked about my spouse.
It works for me and the only negative side effect till now is that they sent holiday cards and gifts for Mr. and Mrs. Lastname. My “missis” just laughs it off and he is actually the one that writes the thank you letters, trying to sound as feminine as he can.
Last week, it seems one of the ladies I see asked my unit’s head nurse if by any chance she knew if my wife liked flowers or something like that because she wanted to give us a surprise present.
This head nurse, and the rest of the hospital to be honest, knows I am gay and also knows my husband, so she was kind of flabbergasted by the question. Luckily, she didn’t spill the beans and just told the patient that she would try to find the information.
She later confronted me and was mad at me. According to her, there is no valid reason I should lie to the patients and that it would just be better if I don’t talk to them about my life instead of telling them something that’s not true.
I honestly think it would be rude on my part to be dismissive of my patients and their questions, but I kind of see her point.
What is your opinion, internet strangers?”
23. AITJ For Being Mad That My Sister Won't Pronounce My Kids' Names Correctly?
“Even though I (25F) grew up in a different province, my parents are from Quebec and so is my husband (25M).
So basically we’re French Canadian even though we currently don’t live in a French-speaking province.
I have always liked French names and have always wanted to give my kids French names.
So I did. My eldest is Élodie (5F), second is Théo (4M) and well, I’m having another boy in December and I wanted to name him Maxime. Now these are fake names but are still very French sounding so it doesn’t really make a difference.
Anyways, my husband adores the names and so do my friends and family. All except my sister (20F). My sister isn’t very connected to our French Canadian roots like I am which is totally okay but she absolutely despises the names I picked for my kids.
She especially hates Maxime.
Every time we get together she complains about how outdated or loser-ish Maxime sounds which, okay. We all have our opinions but I’m still not changing it.
I say this to her every time but she just keeps complaining. I don’t understand why it bothers her so much.
Now the issue, while I understand that most people will pronounce Théo as Thee-Oh, Élodie as Elle-uh-dee and probably shorten Maxime to Max I still kind of expected my sister to pronounce their names properly.
She’s not just a stranger after all and she speaks French fluently.
So yesterday, after I put the kids to bed, my sister came over and said “are Eluhdee and Theeoh asleep?”
I didn’t really shout but I did kind of tell her that those aren’t their names in a frustrated tone. She just asked me if I really expected people to pronounce their names like that.
I told her that I expected her to – not other people. She knows that’s how their names are pronounced and it really isn’t difficult for her like it is for other people.
It isn’t even difficult for English-only speakers but she’s their aunt.
She told me that I was being irritating and making a big deal out of nothing. She also said that my kids would probably pronounce their names the English way too.
I then told her to come back later because I was getting irritated at that point and she left thankfully after telling me that I was being huge pain in the backside.
I do understand her points but at the same time, all I want is for her to pronounce their names properly no matter what other people call them. What my children call themselves in the future is up to them but as of right now, even they pronounce their names the French way.
So AITJ for being so annoying about this? My husband thinks I should just leave her be and so do my parents but idk.”
22. WIBTJ If I Went To The Police About My Ex's Stalking?
“So, I haven’t yet and I am considering stopping by the police to ask for advice today after work.
My ex and I have been split up for a while now, we are both in new relationships and we were, I thought, non contact.
Around this time last year, I was being stalked by both my ex and her family..
calling me constantly, at least 5 times a day, showing up at my house unannounced, the whole shebang. For God’s sake, my ex rang my parents to talk badly about my current partner, before they had even had the chance to meet her in a Skype chat (I live overseas, I don’t see my family much, obviously they told me about it and blocked her thinking she was crazy).
It got to the point where I blocked all of their numbers and sent a message to one of her friends that, if it continues I will contact the police. Since then I have not heard a peep and I thought it was over.
Until now. Yesterday it was my 30th birthday. An unexpected parcel was sitting in my stairwell. I thought it was from the old couple living underneath us at first and was pleasantly surprised. When I took it inside and read the card, lo and behold it’s from my ex’s mother.
I’m not too proud to deny it. I had a little panic attack. I’d had a good day at work and was looking forward to a nice fancy dinner with my partner.
It completely killed my mood and it was hard to forget about it that evening. I obviously told her, we are both lost for words and it turns out, they rang the bell three times before they gave the parcel to the people under us.
They know I work at that time, my car was not in the driveway, my honest thought is, they were hoping my partner would answer the door. That scares the heck out of me.
Now I’ve obviously told friends and workmates about the situation, the general vibe is they think it’s funny and I’m overreacting, cause you know, women stalking men doesn’t exist it seems. But everyone I’ve asked said they have not given out my home address.
The mother called my boss asking for my phone number, I don’t go into details about my personal life with my boss, so he had no idea that I was not on speaking terms with that family, he admitted to giving my number to the mum and profusely apologized, he says however he didn’t give my address.
Now am I overreacting? I have changed both my phone number and address, avoiding them being one of the main reasons… I’ve blocked them on all social media. what more do they need to get the hint?
It’s not even a hint. I have told them to leave me alone. WIBTJ for going to the police in a situation like this?”
21. AITJ For Wanting To Wear A Tiara?
“I need to know if I am being unreasonable in this so I’ll try and present the problem in a fair way.
So me (f27) and my fiancé (m30) are to get married in December in a nice hotel in Paris. This is to be a fairly big wedding, since both our families are traveling for it and a lot of our friends and colleagues have a Paris residence or access to one.
His family is from Germany and has some kind of aristocratic past that I believe could be the root of our disagreement. I’m sorry if that sounds disrespectful, but I’m not well acquainted with nobility and titles and the such (I’m originally from a republic).
When my grandma passed in 2015 she left some jewelry to be distributed among her female descendants and I got, among other stuff, a diamond tiara that had been in her family since her aunt had married into a noble family.
Of course, there is no real occasion for me to wear something like that in my regular life, but, since it has sentimental value, I have kept it and kept paying for the insurance all this time, with the expectation that on my wedding day, I could finally find the occasion to wear it.
My soon-to-be husband’s family found out that I was planning to wear it and are strongly suggesting it could be inappropriate and embarrassing to wear a tiara in the kind of reception we are planning.
Their argument is that it would not be in accordance with protocol to wear a tiara in a hotel, even as a bride, and for that reason it would be in poor taste.
I would agree if it were a daytime event since my mother has always told me diamonds are not to be worn in daylight, but this is an evening affair and I am the one getting married. On the other hand, I understand that my wedding is not exclusively about me or even us as a couple, but about our families and guests in general.
My fiancé is claiming he has no knowledge of the protocol involved, nor interest in finding out, but has paid attention to the etiquette of white tie wear, and I would hate to ruin it for him with a less-than-proper bridal outfit.
I understand this is a fairly minor problem to have, but since we are in agreement about most of everything else, it would be a shame to start our marriage by making my in-laws uncomfortable.
So, AITJ or are my fiancé’s parents too old-fashioned?”
20. AITJ For Not Willing To Share My Garage Anymore?
“I’ve been living in a large apartment building for the past ten years. This apartment building has two levels of big underground garages. There’s one gate to the garage area, and then each apartment’s garage has its own individual gate as well.
For twelve years, I’ve worked in this town that’s half an hour away from where I live. Therefore, I’ve always left with the car early in the morning and then came back in the evening.
For simplicity, I’ve always left the gate up while I’m gone as I don’t keep anything else in the garage, and doing that saves me time when I get back, not having to get out of the car and open the gate.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that some neighbors park in my garage when they’re unloading stuff from their trunks, like groceries, as my garage is the closest to the door that leads to the elevators.
It never bothered me, as I only saw it happen at the end of the day or during the weekends, when I’m never in a rush, and people usually tried to rush and get their cars out of the garage when they saw me turn the corner.
However, last month, my company opened a branch in my town and I’ve started working mornings in the other town and afternoons in my town. I only have a one-hour lunch break, which means that I have to take the half-hour commute, park the car at home (as there’s no free parking near the office), eat lunch, and walk to work (10-minute walk) all in less than one hour.
With time being so tight, finding someone parked in my garage sometimes gets me late, as the 5 minutes it might take them to finish unloading, move the car, and then do the Tetris of getting their car past mine in the tight common areas of the garage takes a toll.
Therefore, I started closing the gate every morning.
Just a few days after I did this for the first time, a group of neighbors came to my apartment in the evening asking if I’d changed my routine because they saw my garage gate closed. I told them I had changed jobs and now had the car in the garage most of the day.
They said they knew it wasn’t all day because they see me leave and asked if I could leave the gate open at least when I wasn’t home as parking the car in front of the door blocks the passage even more and causes traffic and some of them have garages really far from the door, making it hard to bring heavy stuff from their cars into the building.
I explained the situation, but they started saying I was being really selfish because I’d always been okay with it and no one ever abandoned their cars there, they just parked there for a couple of minutes to unload their trunks and always got their cars out as soon as they saw me arrive.
Which is true, but with time being so tight on my lunch break, it’s enough to make a difference. I tried explaining this, but they’re relentless about how I’m being selfish and not sharing the “privilege” of having the best garage.
I’m now feeling a little bad, as I would hate to have one of the garages that’s really far from the door too. So… AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Complaining About A Kid Watching A Loud Show On His Ipad?
“I was recently on a late-night flight that takes about two hours. I am not able to sleep on flights and will often opt for reading a book instead. About 5 minutes after take off the child on the row directly behind me, age 9 probably, took out her iPad and started watching a show, she had no headphones, and the sound was on full blast. I’m not really confrontational and tried to ignore it.
Her mother was sitting next to her with her noise-canceling headphones on, and not paying the child any attention. After about 15 minutes the flight attendant stops by the mother and tells her that her child has to turn off the sound, as the noise could be bothering other passengers.
Her father that’s on the row next to them asks what happened and seems shocked that the girl had to turn off the sound. I was happy with the “problem” resolving itself and me not having to listen to a children’s show for the next 1.5 hours, at 11 pm.
Then after about 5 minutes the about 11-year-old boy next to the father whips out his iPad, and proceeds to start watching a show, also without headphones, and also with the sound turned at full blast. The person next to them wakes up from sleeping but does not say anything.
His father, also says nothing, looks at the screen, and just puts his noise-canceling headphones back on.
I sit there, trying to read, and hoping the flight attendant will come back and tell them to stop again, but the service carts are now going down the plane, and they are busy.
When about 20 minutes goes by, and the flight attendant still hasn’t been back, I turn to the father and ask if the boy could turn the sound down a bit.
He gets annoyed but turns the iPad off. We (or I at least) enjoy the rest of the flight.
Now comes the part that makes me question this. When we get off the plane the father suddenly approaches me and asks me if the sound was really that loud, and that I should have just ignored it.
I say “yes, it was quite loud, and the flight attendant had already told you to turn off the sound.” He then asked if I didn’t understand that it was late and they were children.
I then said that of course I do, but maybe they should be given headphones if they rely on iPads to get through the flight. The dad then says that that shouldn’t be necessary since they are children and that I ruined the entire flight for them.
At this point I was a bit frustrated and said that if the flight was ruined maybe he should just give his son his noise-canceling headphones the next time. The dad then left.
So, my point is, am I the jerk for not just letting the 11-year-old watch his show, since he is a child, despite it being on a plane, late at night?”
18. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Dad Save His House After I Was Kicked Out?
“My dad, stepmom, stepbrother, and I were living in the house my mother originally owned.
I moved out after my stepbrother took the box that had all of his mother’s jewelry out of his mother’s closet and concealed it inside my closet.
I had no idea about it until my stepmom walked into my room and asked me one more time if I still insisted on not letting my stepbrother share the car my dad gave me.
I said no and she said “ok then” then casually walked to my closet, opened it pulled out her jewelry box and started yelling. I freaked out asking what was going on.
Dad came into the room and she started crying claiming I stole her entire jewelry box and was planning to sell it. I was stunned I swore on my deceased mother I didn’t steal anything yet my dad didn’t believe me.
My stepmom demanded I get out of the house and I had to leave because of the pressure. My stepbrother admitted to putting the box inside my closet and bragged about it.
I lived with my uncle for 7 years. I missed my room, backyard, and my mother’s memories in that house. My stepbrother took over everything. My dad didn’t attempt to connect for years and kept calling me a thief until recently when I visited my uncle and he happened to be there.
He looked thin and exhausted. He said he found out my stepmom set me up and apologized for not believing me then. He said he forgave her and hoped I’d forgive him because he won’t forgive himself if I don’t.
He then talked about having debts and needing funds to pay off debts or he’d lose the house and asked to borrow from me. I got quiet then I asked why can’t they sell the jewelry they accused me of stealing?
The car he took back? Heck, where’s my stepbrother when they need him? My dad shook his head and asked if my mom would want me to see him homeless with no help or worse see the house she built and her memories there go to waste.
I said I won’t pay after they kicked me out of my mother’s house because stepmom didn’t want me there.
You must be wondering where my stepbrother is now. He’s dead.
He moved to another town, became a Police Officer for 4 years, conned widowed women out of their income and houses. Robbed them blind and took possession of their legal documents and falsified them to his own benefit.
He passed away suddenly at the age of 33 so he didn’t enjoy his ill-gotten gains for long.
My dad and uncle agreed that by paying I’m saving my mother’s house but it’s no longer her house after my stepmom turned it into a shrine for her son who she calls a hero and used my room as storage for his things.
When I walked in for the first time after years I felt nothing. The connection is no longer there. I still refused to pay and we had an argument then I left. My uncle’s saying I’m making a mistake by thinking irrationally and in a spiteful manner and should consider that my dad and stepmom are helpless, sick, grieving, and need help.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Not Forgiving My SIL For Selling The Gifts My Brother Got Me?
“This could be pregnancy hormones, but my brother recently left a job where he had to use healthcare-related funds/savings before a certain date, or he would lose it.
After he and his family chose what they could use, they still had a significant balance. He offered to purchase some baby-related things for me, including two high-cost items that were dream items, well outside of my budget.
The items shipped to him, and during a visit he gave them to my partner and me, but we were in the midst of moving closer to my brother, so I asked if they would mind storing the items for us since we would be settled in Colorado within a few weeks.
Fast forward to when we were finally able to visit. Once we were ready to go, I asked my brother if he could get the gifts for me. He then told me that his wife had sold them, but promised to buy them again before our baby is due in January.
Realistically, I don’t see that as feasible.
My brother recently quit his job to start a new company, and things haven’t picked up yet. He has no interim income, he doesn’t have a work truck, he doesn’t have credit.
Right now, he is broke. I can empathize with that, and I don’t want to be upset because I’m sure they needed the money. This also means that there is a possibility he can’t replenish those items. How can I expect him to buy almost $1000 worth of items when he needs to do Christmas for his children?
I just feel completely hurt. I don’t see them changing their beyond-their-means lifestyle, or making personal sacrifices to make ends meet. She’s had a history of spending them into major arrears and doesn’t work herself.
Maybe that history is making me biased, but it feels opportunistic to avoid personal struggle by selling my items that were already gifted to me, to be held there because they are family and I trusted them.
When I confronted her, she turned it all on me for guilting her about selling them to put food on her table, that she was so broke that she was surviving day by day.
She didn’t even apologize. To me, a hurtful action is still hurtful even if it was out of desperation.
AITJ for “guilting” her by confronting her? Should I have just understood that she needed the money and kept it to myself?”
16. AITJ For Finally Breaking And Lashing Out At My Aunt?
“To preface, I 27(F) have an aunt that is 55(F) – let’s call her Susie. I’ve never been very close to her as she constantly bullies me, picks on my looks, and when I was 20 she bullied me into an eating disorder.
Despite all these things I stayed cordial to keep the peace in my family. However, last week was my breaking point. For backstory – Susie has two daughters (18 and 14) who are still teenagers, and it’s known amongst the whole family that since Susie’s divorce in 2016 she neglects them badly.
She doesn’t cook, doesn’t keep groceries in the home for them, and my cousins have even confided to me that she refuses to buy them new clothing.
Despite my differences with Susie, I drop off home-cooked meals to her daughters, will give them hand-me-down clothes, and offer to help them out with schoolwork.
Most of the time during my drop offs Susie would be on her way out but would always remember to make a jab at me. Whether it be what I was wearing or even how my makeup was done.
I usually brushed it off – as aggravating as she is.
One day in particular her eldest daughter confided in me that she wanted to move out because she couldn’t deal with Susie anymore.
She would yell constantly, and make her daughters clean all day and scream if it weren’t up to her standards. In addition, Susie was going on multiple outings a week, with different men, one of which was married with a 1-year-old baby and was 15 years younger than her!
Now I’m not one to gossip but I told my cousin that if she needed anything I would be there for her and went back home.
The following week was my brother’s 18th birthday.
I’m newly engaged and my fiancé and I made our way to my mother’s home where a small get-together was held. In total, there were around 25 people, including Susie and her daughters.
Cue my breaking point. Susie was ogling at my fiancé the entire time (27M). He mentioned that it was creeping him out a bit and we decided to make our way to the opposite side of the family room.
Susie didn’t like that and decided to raise her voice and proclaim to my fiancé in front of the entire family that it must be tiring to be with me – and that when he finally got sick of me he could get with her because she was a cougar.
I was LIVID. Without hesitation, I told her “You can mess around in your free time and break up marriages all day but you will not disrespect my fiancé and me, you absolute creep and sorry excuse of a mother!” The entire room went quiet and she got up right then and there and took off with her daughters.
My family actually supported my reaction and told me that they’d been wishing someone would finally tell her off.
I do feel bad because I did cause a scene at my brother’s party and told everyone what my cousin told me in confidence.
Am I the jerk?”
15. AITJ For Demanding A Refund On A Product I Never Received?
“In May I entered into an agreement to purchase an antique tapestry for several thousand dollars.
Per the agreement, I would pay X amount, every 15 days, until it was paid, at which point the tapestry would be shipped to me. I made sure that everything was in writing, official invoice, and tracked electronic payments.
I made my payments. Not a penny was late. It was paid off at the end of August. Seller wrote to me confirming that it was paid off and that she would send it out the next day and send me the tracking #.
A week passed, and nothing arrived. No tracking #, no tapestry. Every couple of days, I would ask for the tracking #, and was answered with promises to get it out the next day, followed by excuses as to why it hadn’t gone out yet.
I heard everything from getting ready for a grand opening to it being locked in her business partner’s house and she didn’t have a key. At one point she even asked me to drive 5 hours to meet her to pick it up in person.
I don’t have time for that.
At the end of September, after a month of broken promises and flimsy excuses, I requested a refund, which she didn’t even acknowledge, but promised to get it out the next day.
Today (A week into October) I called my card company, and asked for a reversal, as I was near the cutoff to file a claim for the first payment. I filed the invoice and submitted the entire string of conversations.
My card company agreed that this was a breach of contract, and started the process of charge reversal. I contacted the seller one final time to tell them that I was done waiting, and had requested a reversal from my card company.
Don’t send, just forget it.
Suddenly, I’m getting photos of her with it in her car (not even boxed up), saying she’s at UPS, wants to send it out to me RIGHT NOW, and that her company doesn’t offer refunds.
Uh, sweetie, it’s not a refund if you never sent me the tapestry, that’s called THEFT. I held firm, and told her that the time to have sent me a photo of it in the car was the day after I paid it off, and the last opportunity she had to correct it was when I first asked for the refund.
I told her I would even refrain from leaving negative feedback as long as I got my money back.
Now her MOM is contacting me, begging me to reconsider, saying they don’t have the money to refund, that this is a small business, one of them lost their job, they’re the ones who stuck out their necks for me, etc. (not sure how they came to that conclusion since they have both my money AND the tapestry), they don’t have the money and I’ll tank their business.
The Mom has even gone so far as to say she’ll personally pay for it to be overnighted to me.
I AM DONE. I demanded a refund. I lived with super heavy furniture moved out from the walls for over a month, anticipating delivery, and I just had it all put back in place.
AITJ for insisting on a refund at this point?”
14. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Play With A Kid Who Has Lice?
“So I have a daughter (6) who plays outside every day.
She usually hangs around the same group of kids. One of these kids we’ll call Jared (5-ish M). Jared’s parents are..neglectful to say the least. He will show up outside wearing the same outfit for days in a row, visibly dirty, and constantly trying to stick toys in his mouth.
His parents are capable of bathing/changing him they’re just too lazy and spend their time drinking. When any of us (neighbors) try to help, we get yelled at saying we’re embarrassing their family, insulting their parenting, etc etc.
Well yesterday, I notice the boy is scratching his head. I’m not talking a light scratch I mean he’s really going at it. I instantly knew what that scratch was from and called my daughter and niece over.
They tell me no, their heads haven’t itched but I checked anyways, and lo and behold…. Lice.
I immediately call them inside and go to the pharmacy to get lice shampoo because that stuff spreads like wildfire and uh no thank you.
Get the girls treated and everything’s good.
Today rolls around and it’s raining so no outside time. Neighborhood kids know they’re welcome in our house so usually they just stroll in with a quick hello and start playing.
When Jared comes in, I immediately tell him he has to go home. I don’t tell him why, just say (gently) that he can’t stay over today.
He runs out crying and about 5 minutes later his parents show up demanding to know why I won’t let him inside.
I told them he has lice, and I don’t want it getting in my house. They both proceeded to yell and scream about how could I say that, saying I’m calling their son dirty, and how it’s not fair the other kids can play inside but theirs can’t.
I told them the reason the other kids could play and theirs couldn’t is because I talked with their parents and all kids have been checked and cleared or treated.
After listening to them berate me I more or less told them it’s not my fault they’d rather buy beverages than clean up their son and buy him lice treatment.
They called me a jerk for not letting their son in and finally left. My husband says I could’ve been kinder about it. But after months of washing this kid up when he’s over, feeding him because his parents forget, and even washing his clothes, I am tired of being a 3rd parent to a child I hold no relation to.
So AITJ?
Also want to add CPS is not a thing in my country. Police won’t do anything as child isn’t in “immediate” harm.”
13. AITJ For Not Letting A Stranger Borrow My Phone?
“My partner and I recently went to a concert. It was a big deal because we don’t normally go out to things like this and she really wanted this so we bit the bullet and bought the tickets.
We get to our seats and this woman two seats over starts asking me if she could use my phone to call her daughter. I said no, because I don’t trust strangers to use my phone.
I’ve fallen victim to scams and I’ve basically given up trusting strangers. She then proceeds to keep questioning why I can’t make this simple phone call and I got up to ask the security guard if she could help her.
When I sit back down I refuse to look at her as she starts berating me with insults calling me “a freaking jerk” or something like that and proceeding to ask “if I was black would you have helped me?” And “if I had a cane would you have helped me?” I stayed front-facing, trying to enjoy the opening acts and finally a security guard came over.
These girls behind us offered my partner and me to sit in the seats behind them to get away from this woman, who really needed to call her daughter. The woman’s daughter did eventually make her way to her seat and she was in her early 20s, to which my partner and I were very confused why this woman was so adamant on calling her daughter because it looked like she could have found her way to the seats by herself, and if it was really such a big deal, they should have met somewhere inside to get to their seats.
Now, this didn’t solve the problem. During the opening number, while everyone else in the audience was enjoying the music, the woman leaned over to me and said “this is why I wanted you to make the phone call.
Look at how much fun we are having.” At this point I was super uncomfortable and wanted to leave but I knew how much this meant to my partner and I thought if it escalated beyond this then we would talk to security and leave.
Halfway through the show, the woman walked out of the aisle and purposely was hitting my legs, and told me “don’t mess with me” while I still avoided eye contact and she glared at me while walking down the stairs.
Her daughter seemed agitated and motioned her to just go. She was gone for like 40 minutes and reappeared later on without incident.
Am I the jerk for refusing to give this woman my personal phone to make a phone call?
I don’t trust strangers and thought if it was that important, she would ask someone else instead of berating someone for not helping her.”
12. AITJ For Not Reading More Adult Books?
“This is honestly one of the weirdest disagreements I’ve ever had to deal with. It has me wondering if maybe I am in fact the jerk.
So, some background info. I (33F) have been dealing with depression and anxiety since a car accident I was in earlier this year, with the help of medications and therapy I am getting better.
I used to be able to read 4-5 books a week. But the depression took my joy of reading away, among many other joys I had. My husband (38M) has been absolutely amazing and understanding.
Once I started to feel a little better, I started reading some of my children’s books. Starting with “Clifford the big red dog” books and kinda moving up from there. I know it sounds silly to start reading books made for children, but for a while that was as long as I was able to focus.
As I got better I slowly started reading longer books. Currently, I am reading YA books. The easier plots are easier for me to focus on, and I am getting my joy for reading back.
In my area, the local library has a service that allows you to check out books through their website, and be picked up either in the drive-through or inside. My husband usually picks up and returns the books for me, as I have anxiety attacks when I try to get into the car, again this is being dealt with.
I had a friend that wanted to come by and see how I was doing, and she offered to get the books from the library for me as she was going anyway.
When she got to my house, she didn’t have the books, and I initially thought that she forgot to get the books, which wasn’t a big deal as my husband goes right by the library on his way home from work.
My friend was talking about some of the books she got while at the library. So I asked if she remembered to get my books for me. She said no, I chose not to get them.
The books aren’t for you. They’re made for children, and you’re a grown woman who should read grown books. She then proceeded to hand me some books she brought with her.
I have read some of the authors she was giving to me. I said, that right now, I do not want to read those books. I can’t focus on the plots, and I’m uncomfortable with some content since the accident.
She told me I was being ridiculous and that I needed to get over myself and grow up. It’s just a book. I handed her back the books she gave me and told her to leave.
I talked about it with another friend, and they said that I was overreacting and that I needed to push myself to get better.
I just want to add that my progress with both depression and anxiety is being closely monitored by my therapist. My therapist was encouraging me to read at a pace that I was comfortable with.”
11. AITJ For Refusing To Take My Sister's Kids In While She Argues With Her Husband?
“This is an ongoing conflict.
Yesterday at 11 am I was alone at home, dear husband went to work early and I was just starting my daily cleaning routine when the bell rang, I (f30) peeked through the hole and saw my sister (f36) and her 3 kids (5,3,2).
I did not open the door and talked to her behind it and I’ll explain why in a minute!
She said she had an argument with her chronically ill husband (m34) and wanted to once again punish him by keeping the kids away from him until he apologized to her for what he said which was regular argument stuff.
Explanation: she started doing this when he got sick. Every time she gets in an argument with my BIL she’d take the kids and refuses to bring them back til he apologize to her.
He has a medical condition that prevents him from getting outside the house and she is been using that and instead of taking the kids to our aunt’s house this time she brought them to me since aunt is out of town.
She asked that I take the kids for 2 days but I refused and pointed out how unacceptable and wrong of her to punish her husband who’s already sick and using the fact that he can’t drive to go pick HIS KIDS up or at least see them against him (She’d keep them away for days!)
She started talking about how her husband doesn’t care about her hurt feelings and how much she does for him. Also how this method has proven to be effective since it got him to recognize his wrongdoings and apologize but I replied that he probably was only apologizing just to see the kids.
I said it wasn’t fair for the kids either but she said they agreed to stay with me and told me to open the door cause they missed me so much.
I refused and said I won’t be responsible when BIL finally decides to do something about this and get the cops involved. She yelled she’s their mother so the cops won’t do a darn thing about it and assured me my BIL would never do that knowing how much she’s cared for him but I stood my ground and said I won’t be opening the door.
Period. She yelled saying I was unsupportive and selfish to keep my nieces and nephew out and refuse to open the door for them.
I suggested she go work her issues out like a rational adult and stop pulling cruel stunts that affect her husband and the kids’ emotional/mental health.
She took offense to that and said I was clearly on my BIL’s side. She shamed me in front of the kids for 10+ mins then left. Hours later my dad who lives in another town called shaming & berating me for not opening the door for his grandchildren then insulting my sister and siding against her.
I explained my reasons but he said the kids are with my cousin and insisted I go pick them up.
My husband said I should’ve opened the door for the kids and that he could see how dad would be upset with me for not taking the kids in til my sister’s conflict with her husband is resolved. He wants me to go pick the kids up but I keep refusing but I feel like unsupportive of my sister.
More details about my BIL: He has a chronic illness that’s gotten worse lately and limited his ability to do most things. To my knowledge he’s catheterized, wears a cannula, and a medical device so he can’t drive or walk outside the house.
My parents never liked him because he was already sick when my sister married him and said she was wasting her life with him but she always say she loves him but I’m not even sure judging by her recent actions.”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit For My Dad?
“I (17f) babysit for three different families on a semi-regular basis. I got the first job when I was 14 and I still babysit for that family. I added two more regulars since.
It has made some cracks appear in my relationship with my dad and his family. When my dad remarried when I was 9, he was always making me responsible for his wife’s then 2-year-old son.
It drove me crazy. I would need to entertain him at least twice while I was there while they did stuff. If she wanted to grab groceries, I had to go and keep an eye on the kid.
Then they had another child and I was expected to help with the baby with diapers, feeding, etc. One time I told my dad I didn’t want to and he was so freaking angry.
He told me I was part of the family whether I liked it or not and he didn’t care if I didn’t want them or if it was “hard because of the divorce”, I was going to accept and love them and treat them like family.
Over and over he made it clear my feelings came after everyone else’s and it was multiple people vs me. And also how plenty of kids just swim through those changes and it’s nonsense to struggle when so many kids deal with divorce just fine.
It’s what made him angry when I asked my mom to go to court and cut my hours over there. So I was only there every second weekend. And then I got the babysitting job at 14 and I wouldn’t go over there to babysit for them.
But it was always an obligation and not something I was rewarded or compensated for.
Now that I’m so much older and doing it for multiple families he finally offered to pay me when he asked me to babysit.
I still said no. Our relationship just isn’t to a point where I want to spend time with those kids. Not because they did anything to me and I don’t blame them.
But to me, they are just kids. Not family or people I love spending time with because it was made such a freaking chore.
My dad is angry I won’t babysit and was even more angry when I told him he couldn’t pay me enough to babysit for him.
He said he is my father and this is my family. I find him a jerk and not a father I want in my life. But he thinks I’m being petty and childish so I wanted to come here and find out whether I’m the jerk or not.”
9. AITJ For Not Inviting My Half-Sister On My Sister's Birthday Trip?
“My (25M) sister ”Ames” turns 9 next August and I’m planning a full trip to Teotihuacan in Mexico City because my sis has always dreamed about going there and seeing the pyramids.
We’re Mexican on my mom’s side.
For some context, my parents had my sister when I was 16 but when I turned 18 and was leaving for university we found out that my mother had been unfaithful for the past 5 years and was having a kid with the other man.
My dad did a paternity test and Ames was indeed his daughter then my mom married her unfaithful partner and had ”Julia”, my half-sister.
My mom sent me a single message after the divorce and told me that she loved me but that ”dad made her life awful” and that she was happy with her new family.
She had 2 step-kids from her husband, Julia, and had Ames during the weekends. Every time I came back for my breaks I stayed with my dad and saw my sis every week.
She used to tell me that while my mom and her husband never treated her ”bad”, the preference for Julia was big enough to notice. For Ames’ birthday my mom would usually just buy a cake, blow the candle the two of them and call my dad/me, but for Julia they would throw big parties with her two brothers and all of her dad’s family.
Every time my dad did a party for Ames, my mom never stayed too long and my sis just didn’t enjoy her birthday.
I met Julia two years ago after my mom messaged me again, congratulating me on my new job, and asked if I would want to meet them for dinner the next time I came back home.
I said yes because I really missed her and to be honest she does look more happy now, fresher and all. Julia is a good kid and I’ve nothing against her, but I’m just not interested in forming a relationship at this point.
Since then I’ve been visiting my mom a lot more, I came back a week ago because my dad got awfully sick and I took some time to take care of him.
I drove to my mom’s house to pick Ames up and she told me to wait in the kitchen because she had something to tell me. While there, my mom mentioned that my sister was so excited for the trip to Mexico next year and that she had good news, apparently her husband agreed to let me take Julia too and said that it would be an amazing opportunity to bond and that Julia would be so happy.
I told her that I wasn’t taking Julia because it was Ames’s birthday gift and it was only the two of us, she said that she understood but that Julia heard while Ames told my aunt (my mom’s sister) the other day and asked if she could go too and I said sorry but no.
My mom got mad and told me that I was acting like a bad brother for making preferences but I said that it’s not making preferences, that this was Ames’s birthday gift, and asked her if she consulted it with my sister, but she said that we were the adults and the decision was up to us so I told her that if that was the case then the answer was no. She told me that then I had to tell Julia the news and I said that it wasn’t my responsibility because we never invited her.”
8. AITJ For Not Pushing For My Wife To Be Included In The Family Trip?
“I (44m) am the only “boy” of my family; my sisters are 46, 42, and 39 respectively. My wife is 39 and we just got married about 6 years ago. We have one daughter aged four and a son aged three.
My parents are both in their 70s. Sadly, we recently found out that my father doesn’t have much time left. My sisters and I all spent our formative years in a northern Midwestern state but my father received a job offer on the East Coast when I was 11 years old so we moved there and we’ve all lived in that general area since.
When we received the bad news about our father’s prognosis my parents decided that we should take a family trip to our old state to visit old family gravesites, old family homesteads, cousins, etc. It just seemed like something that was very important to our parents.
I thought that this seemed like a very worthwhile trip.
Somehow, though, it got decided that this trip should include just the siblings and the grandchildren, which seemed to me bizarre.
My older sister never got married or had kids, and I don’t think she had any say in this. I think it was my two younger sisters–both of whom are struggling in their marriages and are on the verge of divorcing their husbands–who decided this.
I argued back and forth with them that spouses should be included in this trip, but I was outvoted. I think both of my parents would have been happy to include our spouses, but they were just going to go along with the majority decision because it is most important to them to have their kids and grandkids there.
When I told my wife about this she became very upset. She said that if for no other reason as the mother of the two children I would be bringing along that she should be included so that she didn’t have to be away from her kids.
I told her that I absolutely agreed and that I stood up for her, but that I was outvoted. She then told me that I should “take a stand” and refuse to go on this trip unless she is included but I told her that the trip was too important for me to dig my heels in and miss for any reason so that I would be going, even if in protest. She’s, let’s just say, not happy with me.
I understand why my wife is upset, but I don’t think it’s fair for her to force me to make this choice. AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Calling Out The School Nurse On Social Media?
“My (34M) daughter (11F) has type 1 diabetes and has been diagnosed since she was 5.
For the most part, she handles it like a champ, but she’s a kid. Sometimes it sucks. I don’t blame her when she’s upset about it. She’s gotten very good at managing how she’s feeling and speaking up when she feels off or wrong.
That said, she’s 11, and the nurse and 2 of her block teachers are meant to supervise when she gives herself medication. We have a 504 plan in place at her school and have had it in place since diagnosis.
I have conferences with teachers every year, and since she started at the middle school this year, her new nurse and administrative staff. I let my daughter speak her piece and let her feel heard.
She’s struggled with non-school extracurriculars before ignoring her concerns when she says she doesn’t feel good because she “looks fine”. This school year started at the end of August and we met a week prior.
I got a call Monday afternoon while I was at work saying that the school bus driver had to call the ambulance for my daughter on the way home because she fainted. My job is forty minutes away so I said I would meet them at the hospital.
She was awake and chatting with her nurse when I got there. Her blood sugar had dropped very, very low while she was at school. She was feeling better and didn’t seem too bothered so I took her home once allowed and let her pick a movie to watch.
Once the movie was over, I asked if she didn’t feel good at school. I needed to make sure she wasn’t ignoring her symptoms and had eaten lunch. She told me that she felt weird just before the end of the day, and checked her sugar with her teacher, who had sent her to the nurse when it was really low.
When she told the nurse she needed glucagon, the nurse said no and that she should take it at home when she gets there.
At this point, I was raging. The nurse did not give her her medication AND THEN SENT HER TO THE BUS.
The 504 plan in place has a stipulation that if her blood sugar is too low at the end of the day, she cannot take the bus home. The nurse is supposed to give her glucagon and I get called to pick her up/arrange for someone to take her home.
The bus drivers aren’t trained to know what to look for or to give her medication.
I called the school Tuesday morning to arrange a meeting to talk about what happened. We scheduled it but it hasn’t happened yet.
In the meantime, I went wild. Mile-long social media post with pictures of the 504 and hospital bill and me ranting. It kind of took off and got a lot of attention.
Last night, my siblings and coworkers started telling me maybe I went too far in making the post, specifically in my naming the nurse. It was shared in a couple of different pages on social media for our county and town, and a lot of people have been making comments on the school board’s social medias about the nurse.
A lot of the outrage comes from other parents with kids on 504 or IEP plans.
AITJ for calling out the school/nurse?”
6. AITJ For Telling My Sister She Would Be A Horrible Mother?
“I (17m) have two sisters, Alice (29) and Miranda (33). I am much closer to Alice than I am to Miranda. Miranda is also not on good terms with our parents.
Alice has four kids and is currently expecting child number five, while Miranda can’t have children which her ex divorced her for. Miranda is very successful in life, she has a nice apartment, works a good job, and earns a decent amount.
Alice, on the other hand, is struggling financially. She had her first kid right out of high school and got pregnant with her second child soon after, so she decided to become a SAHM to her children while her partner provides for them.
My parents and I try to help them out as much as possible, be it childcare or money, whatever she needs. I love my nieces and nephews. I take them to the park and play with the older ones, I really enjoy it.
Miranda doesn’t help out with them, she says it’s because she’s too busy. Well, she works long hours, but she doesn’t have kids, so I don’t know what she does on weekends.
She also doesn’t help out financially, which I find unfair, since she makes so much and all she does is spend it on herself, although she does give us very nice gifts for Christmas and birthdays.
My parents nag her about it, saying she should give some of her money to Alice monthly, and I agree with that.
So, here comes the part where I may have been a jerk.
I was at Miranda’s place last week, as she baked muffins and invited me over to eat some and catch up. We got on the topic of Christmas presents and I told her some of the stuff I wanted. She nodded and said she would give our parents a coupon for a much-needed vacation and Alice some clothes she had mentioned and also some new boots and jackets for her kids.
I was a little stunned that she didn’t have more for Alice, so I asked, “Why do you only get Alice the bare minimum? You can afford to help out more and you refuse to out of spite.”
Miranda looked at me and laughed. She said it wasn’t her business to feed six people, that Alice was old enough to make her choices and live with the consequences.
She knew what she was getting herself into and that she wouldn’t pay Alice’s way through life just because she kept having children she couldn’t afford.
I was stunned at how cold she reacted. I asked her how she could live her life being so selfish and uncaring, and she got angry and told me, “Listen, kid, there are some things you are way too young for to be discussing with me, and this is one of those.
Drop the subject or get out.” I got really frustrated with her and said something I probably shouldn’t have. I told her, “No wonder your husband divorced you, even if you could have children, you would be a terrible mother.” Miranda got very quiet and told me to leave and never come back.
She has now blocked me on everything, and though I don’t agree with her not helping out, I’m starting to feel guilty for what I said. So, AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Wishing My Family Had Told Me About My Daughter's Pregnancy?
“My daughter and I have always had a complicated relationship ever since she was a child, she was often strong-willed, overly confident, and was frequently in trouble with her teachers for being too social during class.
We often had to teach her manners and reinforce good behavior while making sure she didn’t grow up to be too arrogant. She has always suffered from mental health issues and has convinced herself of things that never actually happened, and when she married her husband and got pregnant with her first child she suddenly told me she didn’t want me visiting her anymore.
I told her she had broken my heart and I’ll give her what she wants then which is space.
When my grandchild was born, I found out and tried to initiate a relationship with my grandchild but she always prevented it and kept them from me.
She would send me elaborate Reddit posts claiming how abusive I was to her that bordered on dramatic and delusional. She never wanted to be a mother I believe and that’s why she doesn’t want me to know my grandchildren.
After repeated letters and e-mails to my daughter, she kept ignoring me to hurt me. My heart is constantly broken but I don’t want her to think I’m not trying. It’s been six years since she’s spoken with me but friends and family usually updated me on how she is doing.
I found out through my ex-husband that my daughter is pregnant again. I was deeply hurt by this, as my sisters and mother were all aware yet I wasn’t told until after she has already given birth to my grandson.
I told my sisters that I am deeply hurt that they contributed to hurting me and participating in activities designed to hurt me. I told them that they should have told my daughter that they wouldn’t keep her pregnancy a secret and exclude her mother since they would hopefully say that they love.
One of my sisters told me I was some hurtful names and blocked me, while my other sister just ignored me. I told them both that I need to have boundaries then and not let people in my life who do things to hurt me.
My mother told me some more hurtful things, and that I am in the wrong. I don’t think I am, and I genuinely don’t understand where all this animosity towards me for just being a loving mother who tried her best came from.”
4. WIBTJ If I Took The House From My Stepdad?
“Background: My (25f) mother had a toxic on-again off-again relationship with my stepfather until they married when I was 15.
When I was 17 my grandfather passed away leaving my mom a large inheritance.
With this money, she bought a house and a car for her and one for my stepdad, who is disabled and hasn’t worked since I was 16.
When my mother passed 4 years ago, she left all her money to me and one brother to divvy up between siblings.
The house was left to my stepdad with the note that when he passes away it goes to me.
Six months after her passing, he tells me and my brothers that he has a new partner and she’s pregnant and they are getting married. We just say whatever and congratulate them.
Fast forward, I was living overseas and had to come back asap so I move back into my old room at my parents’. And the house is destroyed. They have roaches infesting the entire house and bedbugs.
There is trash everywhere. The yard looks like a jungle and altogether the house is pretty much in a state of burn it to the ground and start over. I also come to find out that my brother has been paying their property taxes since my mom died. And I moved out as soon as I could.
Well the new woman, A, has something against my family and hates that my stepdad had a family before her. My last straw there was when she told me that she has been paying for the house for 3 years so even if my mom bought it, it might as well be hers.
She also said that everything wrong with the house was my mom’s fault because she didn’t understand what it meant to own a house.
Now my brother has offered to have them sign the house over to him so he can pay the taxes directly and they can continue to live there for free.
They initially agreed but have avoided any of his attempts to meet so they can sign it over. Since I am the next owner of the house, per my mom’s will, I can take them to court and get my stepdad deemed incompetent and take the house now.
By doing so they and their son will be out of a home and it will be the end of that relationship completely.
So AITJ here for wanting to take the house and screw them over?”
3. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner's Daughter To Have Her Own Room In Our House?
“So my partner (30M) and I (24F) have been together for two years, and we just bought our first house together. We move in at the end of the month.
My partner has a four-year-old daughter “Kate” from a previous relationship.
I love Kate with all my heart. She lives with my partner’s ex and comes to visit us for short stays and sleepovers, more often in the summertime.
Our new house is about a 30-minute drive from Kate’s mom’s house.
It has three bedrooms: a master bedroom and two smaller bedrooms. We are converting one of the rooms to be an office for my partner and me to work from. That leaves just one spare bedroom.
Kate was really nervous about us moving so far away, and my partner has reassured her that she will still get to visit all the time – and she will have her own bedroom waiting for her whenever she wants.
My issue with this is that I don’t want Kate to treat the only spare bedroom as her personal bedroom. Rather, I want it to be thought of as a “guest” bedroom.
Of course Kate can stay there whenever she wants to. This isn’t part of the debate, I want her to feel welcome all the time. But I don’t want it to be only her room.
I don’t want it to be filled with her toys and clothes, so nobody else feels comfortable sleeping in there. I don’t think it’s fair that a room is reserved for someone who is not there 90% of the time.
In addition, my partner and I are planning to have a child of our own, and I want to make sure that when that happens, we will have space for them to live.
I can only imagine the circus in a few years if we have to tell Kate we are taking away her room to give to her new sibling.
That’s why I want to set expectations now – that Kate is always welcome, but she will be welcome as a “guest.”
My partner thinks I’m being unreasonable, that Kate needs her own room for stability, especially as she feels we are moving away from her. He says we can keep a pull-out sofa in our office for guests to stay on, and call the spare room “Kate’s room.”
I still don’t think it’s fair to have a room just for Kate when she won’t use it very often. And I think it’s reasonable to be worried at the prospect of eventually giving Kate’s room away to a future child.”
2. AITJ For Not Wanting To Get My Partner A Real Diamond Ring?
“I’ve (26M) been with my partner (26F) for 4 years and we’ve recently been talking more and more about marriage.
Although my partner grew up relatively well off, for the time I’ve known her she’s been pretty low maintenance. She’s never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewelry she owns was gifted to her.
I have a decent job now (80k a year) and I’ve been saving for a while, but growing up my family didn’t have a lot of money. My partner and I have always seemed to be on the same page when it comes to saving money.
I assumed she would be fine with a more affordable ring. When I started looking into rings, I discovered moissanite rings, which look similar to diamond rings but are much more affordable.
I was looking at rings in the 1500 -1800 range.
When I mentioned this to her she insisted she wanted a real diamond ring and sent me links to a bunch of diamond rings that she liked. The prices ranged from 6,500-10,000.
I told her that I wasn’t willing to spend that much. She seemed genuinely upset and said it wasn’t “that expensive.” We got into a pretty big argument over it.
I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much and that I thought she was more reasonable than that. She said I was being cheap and that I could afford it and that I was basically saying she wasn’t worth it.
I told her no one is worth a 10,000 ring…
Eventually my partner said she didn’t care and that I should get whatever ring I want but she’s clearly still upset and I know this is going to be an ongoing argument.
I’m a bit frustrated because this seems out of left field. I’ve always known marriage is super important to her but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring.
So I talked to my older sister about it, who despite agreeing diamond rings were stupidly priced, sided with my partner and said if I could afford it, she didn’t see the big deal. She added that my partner has done “so much” for me and I was being a jerk about this.
What my sister means by my partner “doing so much for me” is that she was really supportive when I was in a serious car accident 4 years ago. I broke multiple bones and required a few surgeries.
Although where I live most healthcare is covered, I was unable to work for a while and had expenses I wasn’t able to pay. I had been seeing my partner for only 6 months at the time and she was really there for me.
I couldn’t pay my rent so she let me move in with her for free and helped pay for a few expenses and for physical therapy I needed. She also helped me get a job with her uncle who was the VP of an insurance company (It was an entry-level position and I had a business degree so it’s not like I was unqualified).
Obviously I’ve thanked her for all she did for me but it’s not something we talk about much. I don’t think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago.
But if my own sister said this I’m guessing my partner must feel this way as well. AITJ here?”
1. AITJ For Standing Up For My Sister And Calling Her Husband Pathetic?
“I (F24) have a sister (F32) who has a husband (M38) who is the poster child of weaponized incompetence. They have 4 kids (F10, M8, M5, F3) and she’s pregnant.
My sister works a full-time job 40+ hours a week, cleans her entire house, cooks, takes care of all her children without him doing ANYTHING. It is seriously mind-blowing that she wakes up at like 4 am, cooks breakfast, does chores, gets all of her kids ready for school, takes them all to school and daycare, and all he does is stay home and work and when his kids get home (after my sister picks them up of course) he will play with them for a little and play video games until he falls asleep.
She actually makes MORE than him!
My fiancé (M26) and I had to stay with them for 6 weeks while our home was being renovated and since we both work from home, we helped her and it is AMAZING how much happier she is when she has help.
I helped with the kids and my fiancé even drove her to doctors appointments. Her husband literally only acknowledges he is a parent when his family is around, then he is a god-fearing, hard-working, father of 5.
He is the one that wanted more kids, she wanted to stop after her last baby but he “needed more boys”. I am seriously concerned not only for her, but her kids as well because now her oldest is seeing what’s happening and trying to help but my sister is prideful and refuses to let her child do anything.
This man and I have never gotten along. He’s been acting like this since their 8-year-old was born. I’ve tried talking to her about leaving but she doesn’t want her kids to grow up in a broken home, and unfortunately her experience with our parents’ divorce was completely different than mine so she doesn’t understand that a divorce would benefit her kids here because she thinks they need their mom and dad together.
Cut to this past weekend, she and her husband threw a pre-Thanksgiving potluck where our entire family + his were there. I stayed with my sister a few days before because I knew he wouldn’t help.
So we’re at dinner all talking and I mention we are trying for a baby and my BIL makes an off-handed comment to him about how hard fatherhood is, and I snapped and said “like you would know.” He looked taken aback and asked me what I meant and I unloaded on him, calling him a pathetic excuse for a man who makes my 8 months pregnant sister do everything for their family.
I went off for a solid 10 minutes and he sat there shrinking in his seat. I left.
Last night my sister called me and thanked me for standing up for her and told me she appreciated me.
Although today I got a very nasty text from him telling me I’m a terrible person and because I “lied” in front of his family his mom is angry at him and is moving in with them to help her out and I’ve made him the laughing stock of his family.
He certainly thinks so, but AITJ for doing this?”
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