People Divulge The Heated Moment They Caught A Liar
34. Seeing Them Together Was An Eye-Opener
“I found out when I walked into the house of my significant other of five and a half years. He was acting weird and I had a bad feeling so I showed up unannounced. He was shirtless and a girl was in his bed, wearing his clothes. I had a plane ticket booked to go on vacation with his family in 2 weeks. I would think I would have attacked her or started breaking things.
But I didn’t. I called his mom and apologized, saying I can’t go. His mom cried for me, so apologetic for what her son did… I asked the girl if she knew who I was. She did. I told her I could hurt her if I wanted to but I’m too smart to blame this on her. I kicked her out, sat down, cried while he continued to lie, tells me he needs therapy and that she means nothing and he wants to marry me…
I tried so hard to find some way that we could get past this but I knew I never would. Then I told him that it’s over and I never went back.
Despite the pain I felt, I wouldn’t change what happened that day. I couldn’t bring myself to face what I knew at the time… Is that we weren’t meant for each other. I spent so much of my life with him (17-22 years old), stayed loyal in a long-distance relationship while I was away at college…
I was so blinded and fighting the idea that we weren’t going to last that I don’t think I would have ever had the strength to walk away if I didn’t see what I saw… That guilty look on her face when I asked ‘Did you sleep with him?’ … He would have been able to convince me nothing happened (as he tried) if it didn’t happen the way it did.
It’s been a little over a year since that happened. I’m far from okay but I’m happier. He started a serious relationship with her after I left him. I can say for sure that it’s true: the first sign of infidelity is insecurity. He was seeing other people behind my back for months, around the same time he suddenly became super jealous and insecure about what I was doing… I’m proud of myself for being the bigger person because I can walk away with my hands clean. My god did it hurt though… I hear his mom hates her. So there’s that.”
33. Her Parents Were So Supportive Of Me
“1999 I bought my first pc. It was a gateway, yea I know. Just bought a new home. Everything was going well. Ex started using the pc a lot. It got to the point where I would say something to her about being on the computer so much she would just snap. I had my suspicions but let her have a little space. Then one day we got into an argument and she dropped the bomb on me that she had met this person online and was going to go all the way to the state of Oregon with my 5-year-old son to meet this person.
I explained to her how crazy this was, even her mother lectured her to no avail.
We went to see a lawyer and I was told in front of her that by law there was nothing I could do to stop her from taking my son out there. I straight up told him over my dead body. Thankfully he reasoned with her and drafted up a document stating that she was not giving up custody for her little visit.
I signed it only because I didn’t want her taking my son across the country to meet some random person she met on the Internet. This guy sent her plane tickets. The day she left my mother-in-law was standing with me in my kitchen and I started to sob. She told me to stop. That it wasn’t worth it. She told me I can get someone better than her daughter.
I was obviously distraught. When she finally left I was so emotional I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to take care of my son, so we packed up and went to my mother’s for a day.
While we were there I was an emotional wreck. My son was so little but I knew this was impacting him deeply. He got real quiet and walked into the bathroom.
There were no lights on in the bathroom. After about a minute my internal alarm went off. It dawned on me here is this little guy in a darkened room very quiet. I walked in and he was just standing there with his head down and the moonlight shining on him through the window. I’ll never forget that moment. Here I am an emotional wreck and my young son who I just assumed didn’t really understand what was happening was standing all alone in a dark room with his head down silent as a statue.
I dropped to my knees and hugged him for a long time. At that moment that’s when I decided to get myself together and take care of my son. Yes, I was hurting but my son was hurting more.
She arrived in Oregon and it wasn’t very long afterward I received a phone call. Silence on the other end. I asked if she was OK she said yes but was very quiet.
Turns out she snuck out of the room to use the phone because she was freaked out. This guy was nothing like she described and was very strange. Even though I hated her for what she did to our son I was also afraid something would happen to her. So I asked her to give me the address. I called the cops in Oregon and they soon picked her up.
She was then warned by the police that this wasn’t the first time this happened. They dropped her off at the airport. She called me asking for a plane ticket. I was going to fly her home but when her father discovered what was happening he refused to let me pay and bought her a ticket. He said you’ve been through enough and I shouldn’t spend another dime on her. So both parents supported me and helped me through the ordeal. After her return, we went our separate ways. My son is now 19 and doing well and I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I feel so bad when I hear about people going through this. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
32. She Decided That My Friends Weren't My Friends Anymore
“We were together for a year in college (my sophomore year, her freshman, fall of 2012) after meeting through a mutual friend. A few months into it, our mutual friend convinces us to play WoW together and raid with him (I had raided with him my freshman year, but had quit due to school-related issues). So we do for about 5 months, but I notice my gaming is coming between our relationship, so I quit.
Less than a month later, she meets this guy in-game from Australia (we live in Boulder, CO). Over the summer, I have some family issues and end up getting kicked out of my parents’ house in Co Springs. Her parents immediately invite me to stay with them for a while, and since I have no other options, I accept. After a while, I decided to go stay with my birth mother in California until the fall semester began.
When I got back to Boulder (fall 2013), I was completely blindsided by a breakup, which she refused to give me a reason for. It was painful for about a month or two, but for some reason, she also decided that my friends weren’t my friends anymore. She lied to them and manipulated them into not seeing me anymore, and that was the most painful part.
I kept trying to contact her to try to work something out so the nonsense would stop, but all I ever heard back from her was scathing and furious texts, which were completely unwarranted.
Through the relationship, I was always respectful, loyal, and gave her everything she wanted if it was in my power. Through the breakup, I always kept my cool, and approached her in a respectful manner, seeking to clear the air and make it so our friends don’t have to choose between us when making plans to hang out.
She was completely uncooperative, and I was a complete mess after losing both the woman I loved and losing all of my close friends.
After some thought, I decided that maybe these friends aren’t really my friends if they are going to let themselves be so easily manipulated and controlled by her. About a month ago, one of my mutual friends approached me to tell me what has been going on.
He tells me that she has been ‘seeing’ this guy from Australia over Skype/WoW since the beginning of the last summer break. Yeah. I was living with her and her family at the time. Like a flip of a switch, I no longer have any feelings for her whatsoever and feel really good about myself just knowing that I’m above that petty instance.
A few days later, I text her saying ‘Don’t try to contact me until you’re ready to give me a sincere apology for what you put me and my friends through’ to which she responds ‘When was the last time I tried to contact you?’ My immediate response was ‘I figured ‘don’t try to contact me’ was a conversation ender, so I guess right now?’ It felt so good to say that to her, and I haven’t heard from her since.
All I know is that this guy from Australia paid to fly out here for three weeks, during which time, I saw them in passing. She and I locked eyes, and all I did was smile, and brush my left shoulder off.
Two days ago, I talked to one of our mutual friends again. He told me that most of our mutual friends have terminated their friendship with her, save for the one she went to high school with, and that she and the Australian guy were starting to break up.
This was the best possible news I could ever hear, and have since tried to contact some of my old friends. It also helps that I now have found myself in a new relationship with a girl I met my freshman year. Ever since the beginning of last summer, my life has been absolutely messy and one thing after another. But now, things are finally starting to look up for me.”
31. Here's How Paintballs Became Memorable To Us
“My best friend and I walked into our apartment, junior year, and found clothes lying on the living room floor. We were surprised but then we heard a noise in his bedroom and we walked back to see what was going on, figuring his significant other was freaking out again or something.
We walked into the hallway and through his open door saw a guy sleeping with my friend’s significant other over the desk in his room.
He stares for a second and starts to walk into the room but then he stops and walks back into the living room. I just kinda followed him wondering what he’s going to do when he calmly picks up his paintball gun from the pile of gear lying by the door and walks back into the hall.
As I stare at him, he calmly aims and proceeds to fire at least thirty or forty paintballs at them.
He nails the guy several times and then manages to hit his significant other when she turns around panicked. He waves at them and says, ‘Get out.’
They start to protest but he just starts pouring more paintballs into the hopper. They run by us grabbing their clothes off the ground and heading out the door but not before he manages to fire two paintballs and hit her directly on the butt.
I watched this without saying a word, in more shock than he was really. He just shrugged it off and asked me, ‘Think it’ll be hard to get all that paint off the wall?’
To this day I still laugh about it every time I see a paintball gun. The oddest part was that he managed to aim so well that day, but can’t hit anything every other time he tries.”
30. I Kept My Cool And Didn't Use My Bouncer Skills
“Got called in to work on short notice and when I got home I walked in on her sleeping with some sleazy-looking Puerto Rican.
I worked as a door guy/bouncer at the time and had just come home from ten solid hours of dealing with jerks and hipsters so my nerves were shredded and my first impulse was to say ‘whatever’ and completely lose my cool and stomp someone.
But I somehow managed to keep my composure and remain totally silent as I walked past them to my room and grabbed a bug-out bag with a change of clothes and my toothbrush and things like that.
I don’t think they noticed me on my way in so on my way back past them I kicked the living room door off its hinges and gave her a cold silent stare.
She looked like she had just seen a ghost and then broke down shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. The dude looked like he wanted to be invisible.
I told her I was gonna go stay with friends for a couple of days and that when I got back I didn’t want to see her or any trace she had ever existed left in my apartment. Then pointed to him and said ‘I’ll deal with you later.’
As I headed down the stairs I heard him screaming at her and calling her names and saying some words about messing me up.
She was sobbing and telling him that she was 100% sure that if he did anything to me that I’d turn around and hurt them. She was not wrong… but in the end, nothing happened.
Bugged out for a couple of days, came back and she was gone without a trace. She took my TV but it was honestly a small price to pay to be rid of her for good. I think she took it so I’d call her to get it back and have to talk to her but I just let her keep it and never spoke to her again.
It was about a dozen years ago now and I still can’t believe I kept my cool.”
29. Good Thing My Dad Was There
“I walked to my front door to collect my stuff from the house, accompanied by my father and brother. We had just ‘broken up’ a few hours ago, to my complete shock mind you. Everything was fine in our 2 years of living together relationship.
The door was locked…
I walked around to the bedroom window, thinking that since there were no cars outside, no one was home.
I was greeted by a scared unclothed guy in my room, hiding from the front door I just attempted to open.
I lost it… I do not remember saying anything at the moment, but I remember my throat hurting later on. Something weird went off in my head… It wasn’t that I had the choice to harm them both, but rather it was the only option in my mind.
I was climbing in the window with the intent of harming them.
It is odd to write this because it was so real. I am normally not extremely violent, but something inside me snapped.
My dad tackled me before I could get into the window.
‘It’s not worth it. Let’s get out of here’ he said… it brought me back down a bit.
Me, trying to get him off of me, writhing in the grass, …
we drove home.
Her excuse was that ‘I gave her the time to do it.’ As if it was my fault. I have come to find out that she had been seeing other people behind my back previously as well, while on a weekend vacation.
That was about 8 months ago. I am now doing okay, seeing someone else, who really is just a better person in general.
I am finishing up my double major, zero debt with a paid-off house and 2 vehicles, and this Sunday I will be on the runway as a model groom for a few wedding designers.
Sometimes though, I remember… The betrayal, lies, deceit… People hurt you, and the impact of the pain is so deep that it changes things; innocence is broken. I honestly don’t know if it will ever get better. Some memories can be scars.”
28. The Girl Contacted Me Years Later
“I was pretty young, maybe about 17 years old. I had been going out with the same guy since I was 14, and was completely mind-washed by him. Super manipulative, he had been unfaithful in previous instances but I forgave him. Anyway, I had just spent the night at his house for the weekend, so I decided to go to my house and let my grandmother know I was alive and well.
As I was driving back home I remembered that I had left my wallet, so I turned around to go get it. I pulled up to his apartment to see a car I didn’t recognize, and immediately my stomach sank. I walked in the door and noticed a tiny pair of tennis shoes that weren’t mine, and his mother sitting on the couch just staring at me aimlessly.
I went upstairs to find him with this girl whom he had been with just a week before!
So basically, he slept with her, took her number from the report, and started seeing her. I was throwing a fit and asked to speak to him alone where I proceeded to yell and cry at him. I then went into the room, pulled out all the drawers, and began packing my things, all the while this girl is just sitting on the bed saying ‘This is what happens when you tell each other you love each other at such a young age.’ First of all, I couldn’t fathom why she was still just sitting there, so I pulled out the last drawer and swung it.
She told me I was crazy, and I turned around and said, ‘I may be crazy, but at least I know better than you do.’ He ended up going out with her for about a year, in which he also was sleeping with multiple people. She contacted me years later on social media, asking for my help with something, and that she was so sorry and that I was right. I just laughed at her and said good luck with your awful life. Which was kind of horrible, but what the heck, I couldn’t believe the audacity.”
27. She And Her Brother Had A Nasty Secret
“My significant other at the time was away in Greece with her brother for a short vacation. They rarely see each other because of his job (he has something to do with managing the construction of embassies), so I thought nothing of it when he offered to fly her out to see him for a week. She came from a fairly wealthy family and had lived in many different countries growing up, so a nice gesture like this from her brother didn’t seem uncommon.
While she was away, she asked me to get on her computer and check a tracking number for a package she had ordered. When I lifted the screen on her laptop, her email was left open. The email on screen was a conversation between her and her brother, with some unclothed pictures from him. Thinking to myself, ‘what the ?’ I continue reading. It turns out, my significant other and her brother had been emailing unclothed pictures back and forth, along with some pretty explicit conversations between each other.
It turns out, this ‘vacation to Greece’ was just another chance for them to sleep together. Yes, as of reading this email, my significant other was two-timing me with her brother. And the number of emails proved that she had been doing it for YEARS. (Even while she was with another dude, before me!). I had no idea.
When I found out, I emailed her saying that I saw their conversations.
At first, she denied it. Then said that the person wasn’t her brother, but some other guy by the same name. The nail in the coffin was when I said they talked about being in Greece together. The response was something like ‘Okay please stop, I’m literally crying my eyes out. we can talk about it when I get back. what do you want from me!? are you going to blackmail me!? please don’t you’ll ruin my life!’
When she arrived home, I was furious.
She begged me not to tell anyone because it would, indeed, ruin her life. This may seem obvious, but their parents didn’t know either. Since they were so wealthy, it would ruin their family image if I told anyone. I forwarded all the emails to myself to use as proof, in case I wanted to really destroy her life. I contemplated forwarding them to her mother but I couldn’t live with myself for doing something so maniacal.
Because I have a conscience, I decided I would keep my mouth shut. I decided I would move out. But being 24 years old, living in NYC for less than a year, I wasn’t quite financially stable enough to land my own place in the surrounding NYC area. We were living paycheck to paycheck, but things were looking up. I had just landed a bar manager position at a phenomenal new restaurant that had just opened on the lower east side.
But at that point, I didn’t have the money to find my own place (Or with someone else for that matter. We were splitting our rent 4 ways at the time, just to live in Queens)
So I scrounged up every last penny I had and rented a Budget truck. I packed up my stuff and drove 9 hours straight home to my parents’ house. (Left her with nothing. I took the bed — everything. Left her some blankets to sleep on the floor with. Nothing more.) I left the best job I’ve ever had in my life. I miss that job more than the girl. Yeah right, I don’t miss that girl anymore. This happened on the 4th of July but this is the first time I’ve said anything about this.”
26. She Said She's Just Trying To Cheer Him Up
“Almost 5 years ago now, I was with my ex, staying the night over at her house the day before I was taking her to Disney World/Universal Studios/Animal Kingdom down in Florida, from NY. She’d never been there and wanted to go, so I bought all the tickets and all. Cost me a couple of thousand dollars, and I was 19 at the time, so, it was kind of a big deal.
Anyway, she randomly started being really secretive about her phone a couple of weeks before we left, locking it, and changing the password she had on it constantly, and it really messed with me. The morning we were going to leave, she went to take a shower, and I said ‘whatever’ and checked her phone.
There were a couple of hundred texts to a guy that she had stopped talking to, because he was clearly interested in her, and it’s kind of messed up to be best buds with someone that wants to be with you while you’re seeing someone else.
So, angrily, I look. Yeeeeeeeep. Tons of stories of how they were together a few nights ago, and how it was the best time of her life and all.
She exits the shower, and I’m just sitting there with her phone and I’m all ‘What’s this nonsense?’ and she goes ‘Oh, I just started talking to him again.’ followed by me going ‘What’s with all the stories about hooking up and all?’ and her response, which she fully thought I’d believe, was ‘He’s just been sad, so we’ve been making up stories to make him feel better.’
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull.
But, I was 19, and stupid, so, I try to repair it. We go to Florida anyway. (Protip: Don’t ever do this.) And it was just awkward. Entirely awkward. Changed my hotel to have two beds and whatnot. Later found out she was two-timing me for quite a while, with other guys… 4, to be exact. She had been sleeping with 4 guys. She was angry at me because I apparently didn’t treat her well enough…
Neat, so, that was over… and she’s with some guy now, and she’s 22 years old, and pregnant with her second child, unemployed, living with her mother, and a guy who believes he’s the father of both children, who turned into a radical Buddhist overnight… So, they are living off welfare, and turned into total dorks, basically.”
25. At Least I Learned How To Process A Pig
“Went and hunted a hog together. Processed it. I remember on the ride home thinking, ‘Maybe that’s why he has crossed paths with me in life; I need to know this life skill in case things go to trash.’ He was not attractive, but he treated me SO well. He always put me on this pedestal, bought everything, opened every door – one of those nice guys that always got put in the friend zone by other chicks.
Got home, started cleaning and putting away the hog meat, and then he went to bed and passed out. His phone started bing-ing over and over so I finally picked it up because I was annoyed.
It was a girl. I found texts to three different girls calling them beautiful, etc. There were LOADS of unclothed photos back and forth. There was even a video of a chick that we both work with.
The one that really got me, though, was sent while I was hospitalized. He was telling her to come over, and she was like, ‘Nooooo you are in a relationship’, to which he said, ‘Screw her, she’s not here, I want u.’ (Ugh, his texts were always u and ur and the wrong too or to or two, that should have been a sign.)
My heart just dropped to my stomach and I felt nauseous.
I had lowered my standards physically because he was so good to me on a personal, mental level. He was the ‘nice guy’ that most other girls blew off, so I thought I had found a gem. The dude was missing a front tooth.
I had gotten him a bottle of booze for his birthday that he said he was saving for the day I dumped him. I took it out of the freezer, wrote a note that said something along the lines of, ‘Enjoy the pig, pig. And the booze.’ Walked out. Learned how to hunt/process a hog, at least.”
24. I Ended Up Hanging Out With The Girl He Was Seeing Behind My Back
“Was in a long-distance relationship with this guy for a year before this happened. We only lived one state apart. He lived in my hometown (New Orleans), I lived about three hours away. I should mention, when I start seeing people, the relationship is open until otherwise stated. This guy did not want an open relationship and made it clear to me that he was looking for something serious.
So anyway, I decided on a whim to head to my hometown with a couple of friends for some fun. I told my now ex, I was heading into town to party, not inviting him (I just wanted some fun time with my lady friends), he was adamant that I not go to his house because he was ‘(staying with a friend in another city)’. Well, duh after his persistent pleading for me to not go to his house (he even tried to deter me from going to town), I knew something was up, so I went to his house, just outside of downtown.
So, I pull up to his house and his roommate and some girl are outside. I say hey and the girl is crying and says ‘who are you?! I don’t even know you!’ Me being intelligent, putting two and two together, already knew what was up. So I make my way into his house and as I’m walking up the stairs to his room, his other roommate was walking down with another friend; we said ‘o’ in passing, his friend asked who I was and he said ‘That’s (X’s name) (city I lived in) significant other.’ ‘What the …
My man names his chicks after the city they live in?’ – was my first thought…
Then the second thought, as I open the door to his room, ‘well let’s see how this break up goes.’ There he was, an idiot crying his punk eyes out because he knew I knew. He was half-covered by a blanket because he was undressed… Because he was sleeping with the girl when we spoke on the phone…
He apparently kicked her out, I later found out.
I asked him what he did to the girl outside and he said ‘who’ then ‘she’s nobody, she likes me and I just told her I was with you…’ Me, following up with ‘well we aren’t together and she probably hates you now.’ I turned to leave and said nothing more, he stopped me at the door, half-dressed mind you, and said all the ‘I love you’ and begged for my forgiveness.
I couldn’t help but laugh… Here’s this once gorgeous man, half-dressed, sobbing, and begging me to stay because he can’t help but stray.
I left, went to the bar with my friends (who actually waited on me outside and talked to the girl), and if that wasn’t the end of things, the girl is sitting at the end of the bar still crying. I felt bad. Ha, I felt bad for her, because he lied to her (and to me) and deceived her, even though she wasn’t his girl, and I felt bad because…
when you are with someone, you open up your emotions toward your partner, so you should expect to get hurt, on some level, by the ones you love and who love you… but to see the effects of what he did, looking at her was like seeing what I felt like inside. I felt so selfish being hurt when she was obviously hurting just as bad…
it made me hate him. How could he just treat her like she was nothing, ‘nobody’ in his words?
I went to the girl and sat next to her. I told her I was sorry and she asked why I wasn’t upset and if I was still his girl and some other dumb questions… I just told her it was over and that she was plenty upset for the both of us.
We drank together and she invited me and my friends back to her place where we continued to drink and avoid talking about the jerk we just deleted from our lives.
I still visit her when I go to town. I must say he has great taste because she’s rad. So am I. But he is not so rad. Even though what he did was super messed up, I did care about him and loved him… A little. I loosely kept in touch with him, and every time we spoke he apologized. I knew he was sorry… and I let him be. I forgave him because harboring ill feelings toward someone is just too much effort for someone emotionally lazy as myself. Plus, everyone messes up and I was over it.”
23. I Did The Math And I Realized The Truth
“Engaged, 16 days before the wedding. Everything paid for, all the preparations done. I arrive home to find her things gone and find a note under a box on the kitchen table. These words will forever haunt me. ‘I’m leaving’, inside the box the engagement ring. I went numb and fell to the floor, laid there for what seemed like an age of the earth. The next morning I went to tell my parents and forgot all my grandparents were in town.
Walked into my parents’ place, saw my family, and collapsed crying. Lots of depression and lots and lots of drinking.
Fast forward two years. Someone I went to high school with passed away. About a week later, while out at the bar I ran into an old mutual friend of hers and mine. Chat for a short while and she mentions the guy who passed a week prior and how my ex was all broken up about it.
Then the other words that will haunt me forever came out of her mouth. ‘They had been seeing each other for three years and had just got engaged’. It took me a second in my intoxicated state to do the math. When I did, I went numb again and woke up the next morning at home. Cue more depression and self-medicating.
It has been a year and a half since I found out she had been sleeping with this guy for about a year prior to our wedding.
I have a deep-seated mistrust of women. Psychological trauma really messes someone up.
I started seeing women again for the first time in three and a half years a few months ago. I haven’t been able to keep anything alive longer than a couple of hangouts. There’s always the what-if in the back of my head. I’ve decided I’m going to get a dog once I finish the two-year diploma I started last year. Hopefully, in time, I can learn to trust women again.”
22. I Had To Live Under Them For 5 Months
“May 2009. I was working construction, we had a rush project so I was working 92 hours a week for at least 9 weeks. My commute was pretty far, 52 miles. So, I had requested to spend the night at the job site. I was banking and not spending money on gas. Woohoo!! My wife knew of the situation and was OK about it. I was an online student as well.
So after the 16-hour shifts, I would sit in the car, connect to the WiFi, and start class. Very arduous! School and work, nothing else.
I had been going out with my wife for four years prior and we got married in June 2008. My first significant other. She was amazing. She is smart, funny, loves to read, loves the outdoors. It was great. I honestly don’t know how I got her.
I met her in college and there were tons of other guys who were better than me. I was just a very skinny geek. 5’11” at 135lbs. She always teased how I was 10lbs under her weight and other girls will want me. Anyways. I started working in construction and it made me stronger physically. I didn’t get built but I had grown to 180lbs.
Finals started and I wanted to spend the weekend with her because I hadn’t seen her in over two months.
I wanted to surprise her. I had worked till 3 on Friday, I got her a bouquet of flowers, some drinks and headed home. I got home around 6. I saw our door and smiled. I hadn’t been home in so long. I was joyous and ecstatic. I could hear the dog on the other side of the door. I was so happy to be home again.
I walked in. Shushed the dog and placed everything on the kitchen table. I heard some noises. I didn’t mind then because she had horrible bowel movements. I walked further into our home as I am nearing the bedroom. I realized what was occurring. The door was open. I didn’t hesitate.
She looked at me, amazed. I grab the guy from the back of the neck. I threw him on the ground.
I didn’t see his face. It was just a blur. My glasses flew off my face. Everything was a blur. No noise. I heard my heartbeat. Time stopped. I couldn’t feel pain. She hit me with something, I acknowledge it but I didn’t feel it. Eventually, my senses came to me. He was crying out for his mom.
I turned towards her. I looked at her. I could sense her fear.
I was out of breath but I manage to tell her, ‘I love you.’
I began feeling pain. I noticed my surroundings. He was crying. She was crying. I was crying. The dog was yelping. I ran to my parent’s home. They lived about 5 miles away. I should have gotten my glasses. I wouldn’t have seen anything. I cried the whole way there.
I didn’t work for a few days.
Almost lost my job. I failed my classes. Ruined my GPA. I wasn’t a 4.0 student but do you know how hard it is to rebuild my GPA? He didn’t press charges. I was really happy about that. Found out he was my upstairs neighbor. That hurt. That really hurt. I didn’t have any friends. He was the guy I talked to in the laundry room.
I would share drinks with him. He was the only person I considered a friend. I had to live under them for 5 months. That scarred me. I could hear them. Everything. I cried a lot. I lost. I broke. I was beaten.
I thought of breaking my lease. But I didn’t want to ruin my credit. Ha! The only thing she didn’t affect.
The day I had the opportunity to leave I left.
I still loved her. I was stupid. I took my car and the PlayStation. I left them a note, ‘everything in the apartment is yours. I left $7200 in the freezer.’
I didn’t come out winning. I can’t really go back to school. I mean I can but I have to do the impossible to raise my GPA. I have been single ever since. I can’t hold down a relationship and I have trust issues. For the first 2 years, I had PTSD.
I saw her again. Talked. She apologized. She married the guy on my birthday. She said so she wouldn’t forget me. I cried.”
21. I Told Them To Finish What They Started
“I had been going out with this girl for about 5 years before I joined the military. I got stationed in my home state and bought a house near the base and she moved in with me. High school sweethearts all that jazz. Was not married but was planning on it.
So after a long deployment overseas, I get the chance to come home early, so I take it and figure I’ll go grab some flowers and the ring at my parents’ house that I had bought for her and surprise her.
Well, I have my buddy drive me from base to run all these errands and drop me off at my house. My truck was in my driveway and there was also another car that matched one of her lady friends’ so I thought nothing of it. I walked up to the house and unlocked the door and was greeted by the t.v. blaring loudly from the living room.
On the floor leading to my bedroom were her clothes and some other clothes which clearly were male clothing. So I went to the den and waited. Twenty minutes in and two drinks down the bedroom door opens to some guy walking backward toward me with my girl. She had her eyes closed so she didn’t see me. He took about three more steps and turned her into the wall and proceeded to kiss her in front of me.
After about two minutes of this, she turned her head in my direction and opened her eyes. She screamed and tried to push off of him. As they stood looking at me I muted the t.v. and took a drink. She opened her mouth and said, ‘Sean what are you doing here?’ I was somewhat intoxicated at this point so I turned towards them and just said ‘finish.’ Both of them turned pale white and looked at me as if I was kidding.
‘You two better finish what you started right now or it is going to get a lot worse.’ The dude was shocked and you could tell my girl was going to throw up.
After about a minute of them looking in disbelief at me, I told the guy he could leave but couldn’t take his clothes as they were now mine and on my property. He slowly walked out of my house and got in his car to leave.
My girl was still standing there undressed, not knowing what to do. Well, she started to cry as I just poured myself another drink. I pulled out the ring I had in my pocket and threw it at her feet. She dropped to her knees begging me that she made a mistake and it was only a one-time thing. I told her to put on some clothes and leave.
She did not have her own car and my closest neighbor was about half a mile up a dirt road. I sat there drinking while she got dressed and she kept pleading to work it out with me. She had to walk about two miles till someone came and picked her up. I put all of her stuff in garbage bags and threw them into my truck, drove to the main road, and left them on the side. Went back home drank some more and never talked to her again. Took the first assignment out of the country that I could and never looked back. I love my life.”
20. Good Thing I Have My Digital Camera Handy
“Had agreed to a separation with the wife while she figured out what she wanted to do. We had been having some issues for a bit, she admitted she had an ’emotional thing’ with a mutual friend. Had a gig to DJ that night, and being in a pretty messed up state emotionally, I drove by the house late that night and her car wasn’t there.
Pretty much knew that she was with the other guy. Decided to go to my folks’ place and try to crash. Obviously couldn’t sleep well, so at 6 am I go back to get the rest of my stuff. They were both asleep in the master bedroom.
Tons of emotions, violent thoughts. (Weeks later, I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and swinging fists at nothing.) Then this weird feeling of peace and calm.
Simply grabbed my digital camera, took a few pics of them asleep (for the lawyers to deal with). Turned on the lights, woke them up, and asked them to leave while I got the rest of my stuff. Held it all together until they drove off then just lost it.
Wound up deleting the photos, got divorced. She married the guy and had kids with him. Haven’t spoken to her in years.
Hugs and pats on the back to everyone else that has gone through a similar situation. Would not wish it on anyone.”
19. Flew With My Best Friend To See My Girl But I Lost Both Of Them There
“Was in the middle of a divorce and started conversing with my ex in another country. We started writing more and more letters (this was back in the 80s) and limited phone calls (at $1.00 a minute). Flew out to visit her but was afraid of going into rebound too fast. So I brought my best friend along so he’d keep me grounded.
We stayed at her house.
My friend and I were in her guest room. I was sick one evening so she and my friend went out to dinner by themselves. The next morning I woke up and my friend wasn’t in the room with me. Walked down the hall and saw him sleeping next to her in her bed.
It was a horrible feeling because I was in a strange country and was stuck there for another two weeks.
It was also Christmas in a few days. I became horribly depressed because I had to see both of them hanging together until we could fly back (I couldn’t afford to get re-ticketed).
Finally one day I was watching a Clint Eastwood movie where he was telling Sandra Locke why he was in prison. Something like ‘I walked in and found my best friend in bed with my wife, so I (hurt) her.’ Sandra was like ‘What about the guy’ and Clint said, ‘Hey, he was my best friend.’
That made me laugh and my attitude turned the corner and got me through until my former best friend and I flew back to the states together… On the flight, a woman sitting next to me asked about our vacation. I said, ‘I went to visit my girl but now she’s his girl.’ She said, ‘That’s horrible, you know I have a daughter who is single and you seem like a nice guy.’ I said ‘Thanks, but I better not, I’m married.'”
18. He Thought I'd Take Him Back After A Funny Story
“My significant other and I were together for 7 years and we were living together when I started to have the feeling that he was seeing other people behind my back. He would always get mad and defensive if I questioned him. The long story was I didn’t walk in on him but I found out by seeing texts on his phone. We broke up and I was so heartbroken because I had known this guy my whole life.
We went to the same schools growing up. Anyways, about a month after the breakup he had a housewarming party at his new place. The day after this party (I didn’t go just knew through a mutual friend about the party) my ex called me several times and begged me to talk to him. He sounded weird so I agreed to meet him. We sat in his car and he told me he was stupid for dropping me and two-timing me for that girl.
He asked me if I wanted to hear a funny story. I was so confused and just sort of sat there while he continued to tell me what happened.
That night this girl had had so many drinks she got out of bed and peed all over his new carpet in the bedroom. She then tripped and fell into her own pee and passed out on the floor.
The door was open to the bedroom so people who were still partying saw the whole thing happen. My ex was apparently stunned and grossed out. He carried her into a spare room, with pee all over her, and put her in bed with another random passed-out dude. The next morning I guess she woke up confused as to where she was. Once he told her what happened and she didn’t even seem embarrassed.
I guess he had just put newspaper over the pee and she didn’t even bother to clean it. Once he was done telling me the story (which I did find funny but refused to laugh at) I just got out of the car without saying a word and left him there. I was mad he thought I would just get back with him because he decided to end it with her. He did try and contact me many times but I ignored him. The girl is actually an actress and I have seen her many times in the KIA commercial on T.V. and another show as well. Instead of being mad it just makes me laugh every time thinking about this story.”
17. She Made Sure Her Social Media Settings Were Set To Private
“I was with my significant other for about 1 year at that point when she decided after graduation to go to Germany to do an Aupair exchange. It did not seem very frightening since it was only for 4 months. I stood strong during the 2 first months until the point where I started noticing weird things happening on her social media. She started making all kinds of new guy friends, her posts became less visible to me and club pictures started getting more and more disturbing.
I confronted her about it on Skype and just as I mentioned those abnormalities, her pictures became unavailable to me. This went on till December, she kept on telling me that nothing was happening but I just had this feeling. I was unable to prove anything but I knew the time would come. The first day she came back home to her parents, she was reluctant to see me.
I did manage to see her and it felt like actually nothing happened. The next day she came over to my house. She logged on to her social media because I asked her to show me some pictures of Europe. Little did she know that I had software that was able to memorize every letter typed on the keyboard.
After driving her back home, I rushed back to my pc and did something bad.
Hacked her social media. I discovered that she was sleeping with two guys and that were in two different cities. My guess was one but turned out to be 2… but you know what the really funny part was… I found out that all my friends were blocked, the relationship status was only limited to me so no one else could see it. She told her new friend in Germany that I was a creep who was stalking her back home. I sent her snapshots of those convos and ended up seeing her at 7 am the next morning at which point she begged me to take her back and that she was confused and manipulated by her new friends… Pushed her out of the car and left with an amazing drift.”
16. I Realized The Photos Were Taken Last Night
“I didn’t actually see it as it was happening. She went to a party that I couldn’t attend. I stayed home, tried to call her about midday the next day to ask how she was doing, see if she wanted to talk. No answer, that’s fine, I’ll just go get food. I’ve done that, and about an hour later I call her again. This time it looks like her phone’s turned off.
Huh. She must have turned it off, no problem. I go to check social media because I’m a cool kid at sixteen.
I see an album my friends made of photos everyone took the night before. It was pretty quick yeah, but oh well. I start looking through the pictures. My significant other and her friends have all been drawing profane words and other stupid things on their white t-shirts.
Funny.
I keep looking through, there’s this guy I don’t know there at the party, sure whatever. As I keep going through, there are quite a few of the two of them. Eventually, I get to one of the two of them kissing, and my heart just drops through the floor. I think there must be some mistake, maybe this album is from years ago or something.
No, it’s from last night.
I keep going through and it gets worse. There’s one, and this one is burned into my mind, where all you can see is his back, but her hands with black nail polish clutching to it. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been two-timed, but it was the worst. I kept just going back to the pictures and staring at them. Could not tear my eyes away. I must have kept doing it for an hour, and I just couldn’t get angry because I was, for some reason, so shocked.”
15. I Chose Love In The Midst Of Poverty
“The difference for me was that I knew what I was walking into.
Rewind two weeks, it’s my birthday. Scratch that, rewind two years, I’m living in a dilapidated trailer situated in the middle of a massive pine forest in rural Alabama.
How did I get there? Well, I had graduated from a small Louisiana high school a year prior and I made the difficult choice of accepting the fact I could no longer afford to support my current lifestyle.
That’s when the opportunity arose to pursue the only remaining option available to me at the time, and so it was that my father granted me a cherry little domicile in the middle of nowhere, and a respectable job managing one of his recently acquired Subway sandwich shops.
This deal worked out to our mutual benefit due, in part, to a severe shortage of food service managers in the area, and also to my complete lack of worldly assets like a home, vehicle, degree, or job experience.
He got an employee who couldn’t quit to care for the trailer he bought for the times he was in town, and who would work long hours for home, food, and vehicle privileges in lieu of monetary compensation. I got protection from the elements and all the sandwiches I could eat, a car, and a lovely mobile palace from which to survey my charming third-world surroundings.
I met her too. It didn’t take long until I was fired, evicted, and my car repossessed. My father was very adamant about his opinion that I should remain single. I was very adamant about my opinion that a steady supply of intimacy was more important than all of those, trivial, worldly things.
We lived in government housing with her mother, stepfather, and brother. This is not just any government-assisted housing though my friend.
This is rural Alabama government-assisted housing. It was small and dirty and full of pets, but it was home.
A year passed and I was nearly ready to begin my new life as a security guard in a paper mill. She had a $300 ring on her finger and she was carrying my son. On my birthday, she left. She said she needed space and that she would be staying at her friend’s house.
She neglected to inform me that she would be forced to share a room with a guy who had been trying to woo her while I was off galavanting around at work all day, selfishly neglecting some of her needs while I was fulfilling others. But I suppose when you spend the bulk of your life without any money at all, working a forty-hour week probably seems like an unnecessary thing to do.
In a small town, word travels fast. I had been stonewalled for a week with responses like, ‘I just need time and it has to be time away from you.’ or ‘You can’t keep coming here, I need more time’. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the rumors were starting to sting.
Once her sister’s ex-husband confirmed my worst fears, the anger was almost debilitating. This was the pinnacle of betrayal to me, a person who holds loyalty and trust in the highest regard; a person who had thrown away a messy life to start a new even messier life of labor and toil to be with and fully support a girl.
At the time, I thought this meant something, and it was enough to drive me straight to the bank to withdraw all one-hundred of the dollars within; effectively closing our joint account. I drove to her friend’s house when I knew he would be there and walked right past her friend, who had half-heartedly tried to confront me on the front porch.
I walked into his/her room and she immediately jumped out of the bed and dressed as I nodded to him once.
This was the first and last time I acknowledged his existence. She asked me ‘what the heck’ I was doing there and I handed her fifty dollars. I told her this was her share of our savings and that I would be going to Louisiana the next day.
Needless to say, she was home that evening. She tried to coax me into sleeping with her, but I said nay.
She later admitted that he hurt her deeply. I know.
The next morning I foolishly laid out my stipulations. The one she couldn’t adhere to was the fact that, if I were to stay, she would have to promise to never hang out with the shirtless dude she had been with while she decided whether or not she was ready to limit herself to only one dude for the rest of her life.
This solidified what should have already been a solid decision to get out of dodge. One greyhound later, I was uncontrollably sobbing into my uncle’s waterbed. It would take another eight years before I would allow another human being to sleep with me. But that’s what they say, isn’t it? The first cut is the deepest.”
14. Messed Up Ex Won't Stop Pestering Me
“I got my first significant other when I turned 18. She lived with my family temporarily. I got her pregnant during this time period as well. I wanted to keep the child, but she was adamant about putting the child up for adoption. She got herself kicked out of my family’s home when I was in the process of saving up for an apartment. I had to go get the deposit we put down and pay for a motel for a week.
Well, she ended up having to move in with her guy friend from work. Everything seemed to go well until she said she had to break up with me. By this point, I was pretty stressed out. She continued smoking while pregnant, lost her job and I was basically working to give her money for her habits and for food, etc. So, I was pretty distraught, but I continued to stay in contact.
She then told me she slept with her guy friend. This both infuriated and destroyed me. I left, got in my car, and took off. She chased me out to the parking lot, yelling at me about abandoning the child and I had to drive around her to avoid her. I drove to her friend’s work and confronted him. He backed her up. So I left, completely broken.
Cried for a while. Then the next day my brother went back with me so I could get my Sega Genesis back. She gave it back, buried in cat litter and with the wires cut.
Basically, I threw myself into my work at a pizza chain. About a year or two later, she shows up at my work telling me how she followed my progression (promotions) at the job, blah blah blah and how she made a mistake and she was no longer with the other guy.
She said, ‘Let me give you my number.’ I told her with a completely straight face that, ‘I don’t think that would be a good idea.’ She was visibly crushed and left. She showed up another time with a kid. We talked briefly. Nothing significant. She just kept showing up like a bad penny.
Why didn’t I fight for my child? I felt that I wanted her to have an opportunity to have a good life in a complete family.
If my ex had sued for child support, I would have gone straight for custody, since I had stability.
Fast forward: I had gotten married and been with the same woman for about 9 years. I was driving back after a 5 day trip to burying my dad’s ashes. I got this deep twisting pain in my stomach like I didn’t want to go home. I walk in and go to kiss the wife o and she turns her head away from me.
So in a huff, I go and power on my computer. She turns to me and asks, ‘don’t you want to know what’s wrong?’ So I turned to her and say what? She says, ‘I don’t think I love you anymore.’ Turns out she had gone to help her guy childhood friend when he was sick (she’s a nurse) about 9 months prior. She says she never did anything (clearly disregarding the emotional involvement).
We divorced, she got back with him and apparently lists her anniversary before our break up and gets pregnant from him and then married.
September 2010. I get this twisting feeling in my stomach. I get this feeling that my first ex is going to show up again, but this time through social media. A week later, I get an email saying, ‘Don’t delete me!’ Want to guess from whom? It was the ex stating that my daughter is online and she wants to contact me.
My ex did indeed put her up for adoption. She also put up her 2nd child for adoption because the person she left me for didn’t want to keep her. Her 3rd child was taken away from her by child services. No idea what is going on now.
Anyway, I’ve been in touch with my daughter ever since. She turned out pretty geeky without my influence and is very similar to me in so many ways.
I couldn’t be prouder. I’ve had a lot of regrets about missing key moments of her life, but I got over them. She has a wonderful family (extended and otherwise). Being adopted makes it easier to understand her perspective. We still haven’t met!
Someone had asked me if I was put off of women by all of this. I told her, absolutely not. I’ve learned a lot about myself. Most importantly I’ve learned to be happy with who I am and the roads traveled to get here. I look towards future relationship(s) optimistically, knowing that each little time I have to take a step back, I learn good lessons (this is important) to apply to the future.”
13. She Destroyed The Trust She Hardly Built
“I was eating tacos, with a friend from work. We start talking about girls. He says there’s this girl he likes, and they’ve been kinda seeing each other, but they can’t tell anyone about it because of work policies. Well… unless he’s gay, there’s only one girl he could be seeing, that is, the girl that I have been going out with for over a year.
Nobody, including him, knew about it because she was my supervisor. I dig a bit more to verify that it’s true, and it is. Call her afterward and inquire about the conversation we had, she denies it and says it’s weird. I realize throughout that day that she’s kept me in denial, and even then I was trying to rationalize it not being true. That night, I call the dude and ask him to meet up with me to talk.
I tell him what’s going on, and he’s apologetic and annoyed; They had been seeing each other for about 3 months. We both go over to her place that night to confront her. She refuses to answer her door and calls her white knight to come to ask us to leave. (Another guy from work). It gets awkward and cringy, so we say whatever and leave.
Being the beta that I was, after two weeks of being so mentally sick from the situation that I vomited, I eventually respond to her texts to want to talk. We meet up, she cries a lot. I feel bad for her, we see a movie, go to her place, build a fort and kiss. I felt bad for her and wanted to make her feel better.
Also, I missed her and just wanted to not feel so messed up. Pretending it didn’t happen for a while didn’t seem like the worst thing. In retrospect, I should have cut ties two weeks ago or immediately after we got back together. Instead, we started seeing each other again. It was about 5 months of this. She really gave it a very strong effort to make it work and regain trust, which included not hanging out with any of her friends that I didn’t like/didn’t like me.
White knight was annoyed, which was fun. It was bad because I became very cynical and liked making her feel like garbage at all times.
Five months, she is playing with her brother, her ex (who was also her good friend), and a couple of other people. I go the next morning to surprise her for breakfast/be insecure and make sure she isn’t with anyone. Her door is unlocked so I go in.
Brother and everyone are asleep on the floor, the living room is full. Go into her bedroom, and her ex is in the bed, though they’re fully clothed and facing opposite directions, and a bed is also made on the floor. I realize that I can’t handle not feeling good about everything and leave before they wake up. I send her a text saying I can’t do it.
She rages saying she did everything I asked.
Two weeks later, one last ultra cringe beta move. She starts seeing a guy from her new job. I get jelly and ask her if that means she doesn’t want to try anymore. She apologizes and says no. It’s painful to write about this because I still can’t believe how I managed to have absolutely no spine. Hopefully, this will inspire at least someone to recognize their situation and not handle it as I did.
There’s so much I learned from the experience. That was probably about 1/100th of the total beta surrounding that story. Things got way better after that, and I learned a lot about myself and my relationships.”
12. I Learned Something Strange In The Library
“I knew it was going bad because she would be away for days at a time telling me she was with her sister and every time she would come home she would say nothing and sleep with me. We were living in an apartment at the time and the lease was up in February.
February rolls around and she tells me she needs some time to herself and I should find my own place.
She tells me this a day before we are set to move into our other place. I have nowhere to go and spent most of my savings getting the new place so guess who has 2 thumbs and was homeless.
I went to the library and checked her email and found tons of messages between the two of them and an unclothed picture of him sent on Christmas.
I don’t know what hurt more, seeing his photos or knowing that the pictures that she sent him were all taken by me. She messages me and says I need to take my clothes. She picks me up in his car and slowly I start to lose it and end up punching out his sunroof and kicking out his windshield.
After this whole ordeal, I took 2 years off and traveled the US trying to find myself. I moved back and found out she lives with him now. And his mom. And his sister. And his sister’s 5 babies from 4 different fathers.”
11. He Had The Nerve Of Beating Me Up At A Party
“I found a text message on my wife’s phone from a guy we both worked with at the time. It was something along the lines of him wanting to sleep with her. Any other text history that might have existed had been deleted. I’m not sure what to call the emotion I felt when I saw that text message. I felt paralyzed to do anything about it.
I kept it inside for about a month. Within that month I saw countless other texts as I would sneakily find ways of nabbing her phone and checking the texts before she had a chance to delete the history.
One night, we got into a fight on our way home from someplace. As we pulled into the garage I blurted out that I knew about the text messages.
In my naivety, I believed her that it only went as far as texts. She apologized profusely and said it wouldn’t happen again. I did not find any more texts after that and I thought things were getting better.
Then one day I fired up a messaging app on my phone that I hadn’t used in a long time. The app tells you the last time one of your friends was online.
I noticed that my wife, who to my knowledge hadn’t used this app in a long time either, had recently been online. I got ahold of her phone again and sure enough, the texting hadn’t stopped. I confronted her again and somehow she convinced me that there was nothing else going on and that she would stop.
Fast forward a couple of months later to a party we were invited to by a coworker one summer evening.
‘The guy’ was there and I will never understand why, knowing what all was going on, my wife allowed us to be in the same room together. I managed to avoid this guy for almost the entire party. Near the end of the evening, after I’d had several drinks in an effort to distract me from thinking about the fact that this jerk was in the same room as me, I thought it would be a good idea to confront him about the text messages.
It’s important to note that I had hung out with and talked to this guy several times prior to all of this going down. We weren’t ‘friends’ or anything, but there was never anything but cordiality between the two of us. I thought that I would get an apology from him and that would somehow give me some closure and allow me to move on (what is it with our stupid need for ‘closure’ to everything?)
Upon approaching him, he immediately took an aggressive stance.
Not really being prepared for this, I kind of stood there dumbfounded for a couple of beats. The next thing I know, I’m seeing stars and feel an intense burning right under my left eye where he has just punched me in the face. He then grabbed me by the collar and threw me to the ground and proceeded to hit me in front of many of my coworkers.
I’ve never felt like less of a man in my entire life. That night hurt me in such a way that I will probably never forget it. Sometimes the events from that night will just randomly replay in my brain and it takes everything I can do to shake it. I have fantasized so many times that I saw that punch coming, avoided it, and ended up winning the fight, only to feel the crushing depression of the realization that that’s not how it went down, nor will it ever be.
No comfort was found the next morning when my wife admitted to me that she had been having an affair with this guy for the past several months.
This was almost 2 years ago and the wounds have still not fully healed. I don’t know if they ever will. My wife and I went to a lot of counseling and somehow managed to save our marriage. We were both different people then and neither of us was doing what needed to be done to maintain a healthy relationship.
She is responsible for the things that she did, but I cannot fully blame her for the shape that our relationship was in at the time.
It’s not important to the story, but in case anyone was wondering, that piece of work ceased working at our place of employment shortly after this. I have to think that it had something to do with the incident but I don’t know for certain, nor do I really care.”
10. She Thought She Deleted The Picture
“I have been with my wife since we were Freshmen in High School. It’s been 16 years. The first time she saw someone behind my back, we were 25 years old at the time, I found out via text message, a simple ‘I wish I was in bed with you’ I didn’t need to read anymore. We broke up 3 days later when she finally admitted to it.
I didn’t speak to her for 13 months. I found out through a mutual friend that she was looking to speak with me, and as time had passed I had closed off that part of my life. I agreed to meet her and we started hanging out regularly. The love came back, the same love that filled my stomach with butterflies and made me feel like a kid.
She had a kid with this guy, must have gotten pregnant while we were still together. At first, I didn’t think I would be able to handle that reminder, but I decided that I would just work through it and if it didn’t work out in the first few months that I would just cut ties. Then I was dispatched to the Philippines for a year.
During this year we only talked via Skype, and when I finally came home it was like being Freshmen all over again. We got pregnant with my daughter, married shortly after and everything was going great. I have a high-paying job that allows her to live the life she wished for, she can stay home and take care of the girls and do all the things that make her happy (hair, manicure, pedicure, clothes shopping weekly, etc.)
About 10 months ago she’s going out with a friend and she calls me to tell me she’s not coming home because she drank too much.
I don’t think too much of it, log on to our shared computer and see on her social media that she has a few inbox messages. I knew better, but I still looked. Her bad habits before still haunted me deep down. I check the inbox, and sure as heck, there is her and this other man talking back and forth. She kept referring to him as her man and she couldn’t wait to see him this weekend.
I lost it. I just shut down. It was the angriest I had ever been. How could she do this… again… to me. Especially after we married and had children (I treat my stepdaughter like my own, with no differences or hang-ups). I call her and tell her to get herself home. She comes home and confesses to me, but blames me. Telling me that I work too much and don’t spend any time with her.
The usual stuff. We have a big blowout fight and she goes to stay with her mother for a few days, with the children.
Eventually, I tell her to come home, for the sake of the kids. I don’t want my girls to grow up in a broken home. I agree to cut back on hours at work, even though that means she has to sacrifice some things in her life.
During this same period, I’m going through a giant health scare. I’ve been basically told by the doctors that there is not much left in my tank and if I survive a year, it would be a miracle.
2 months ago, she asks me to update the software on her iPhone. I do so and in the process, as all her photos are being backed up to my laptop, I see a picture of a man.
Then I see a picture of her undressed on the bed. A picture that was never sent to me, her husband.
I confront her, as she was sleeping in bed at the time and her explanation was that the picture of her was meant for me but she must never have sent it. The picture of the guy was the guy who she two-timed me with, but he took it while she was at work (they are co-workers) and she deleted it from her phone, she thought.
I calmly told her that if she wanted a place to live and children to see every day that she goes to work and tells this man to apologize to me, or else I am calling his wife to make sure she knew about it (he had previously given out his home phone number in a PM to my wife and told her not to call until after 8 pm or some such).
To his credit, he did call. We spoke on the phone, he apologized and told me it would never happen again. Turns out he is 61 years old, literally old enough to be her father, and has kids our age. I told him if I even caught wind of anything strange I was calling his wife, and rattled off their home phone number.
We go to marriage counseling, but unfortunately, it’s the one thing that I’m not ready to talk about.
It has killed me emotionally, physically, and mentally. My health has declined to such a state, especially mentally, but I keep going for my girls. I rarely sleep in the same bed as my wife, and can’t go a day without thinking that she is still seeing other people. In our relationship, she has taken away my family, my friends, and my hobbies. All I have are my kids and that’s all I live for now.
I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. Leaving her is the obvious thing to do, but I just can’t be away from my girls.”
9. The Guy Didn't Seem To Know What He Was Doing
“We were at a wedding and got into a fight (nothing physical). So she goes for a walk outside and I stay at the wedding, both letting off some steam. Hours pass and I begin to worry about her, so I give her many phone calls with no response. Eventually, get a mutual homie to help me look for her to no avail. Start feeling sick and send her a text apologizing, and asking her to at least just let me know if she is okay.
Now, in the hours between this and us separating, some friends and I have been taking care of a seriously intoxicated, single guy. He was conscious but trying to dance with both a woman and the BRIDE. All we really do is take him outside and chill with him, smoke, have some laughs. No biggie, but then he goes his own way. Probably to his room, whatever.
So, after being unable to reach my ex for some time, I start asking people if they’ve seen her. Nothing. Lastly, I give the super-intoxicated dude a call, and I ask him if he’s seen her. He very eerily responds ‘maybe…’ Me: ‘Well, where are you? My room?’ Him: ‘We might be in your room’… okay, he wasn’t answering, but now I was angry.
I and my homie go to his room first.
Nothing. So we go up to my room. I’m about to put the keycard in, but notice the door is slightly ajar. Perfect. I bust in, and she and he are making out. Immediately, I was hurt, but that went away, as did the guy. I don’t care – he admits they were kissing and then he leaves. That’s fine with me – get out.
Homie leaves, and it’s me and her.
I forget the details, but I told her to leave, but then didn’t because she had nowhere to go (the wedding was out of town). She starts getting mad at me for something. Says it was only a kiss and I shouldn’t get so mad. Then something about blaming her depression (not sure if she actually had a mental illness, but it’s definitely a lie to expect me to accept that she can flirt around because of her condition). It was awful.
Sadly, this was the second time she was unfaithful. All this did was confirm that she wouldn’t change. So I did what any unreasonable man would do and continued to be with her for 2.5 months. It was terrible. Finally, I broke it off for good. End of story.”
8. Almost Ended Up With My High School Sweetheart
“I’ve been with this girl for 3 years. We went to high school together but never really talked. Met at a party back in our hometown the summer after freshman year and immediately hit it off. I ended up transferring to UC Santa Barbara, where she went to school and we were definitely in love. She’s the type of person who is pretty naive and doesn’t necessarily know how to handle many types of situations but is pretty book smart.
I invested my whole life into her and hers into mine and we depended on each other.
She two-timed on me in January of last year, when we were about 2 years into the relationship. She told me and I forgave her. Why did I forgive her? Well, she was my very first relationship and I was deeply in love with her. We took a month’s break and got back together, slowly regaining trust throughout the year.
After a while, we were in the perfect relationship, we would do anything for each other. We talked about our future, about having kids, our plans after we graduate this year, and so on. Yes, I suck.
A few weeks ago, I am watching a movie with her at our place and I notice that she’s messaging somebody. I lean to peak and ask her who she’s talking to, but she quickly hides it away, telling me it’s just a friend.
The thing she doesn’t know is that after the first time she was unfaithful to me, I spent the next few days figuring out who it was. Lo and behold, it is the same guy she slept with behind my back a whole year ago. I don’t confront her about it, because I totally trust her at this point that she will not do anything and boy was I wrong.
Anyways, I start to get suspicious, but I don’t do much and a bunch of my friends want me to go skiing with them on Sunday. I end up going and come back home, but it turns out my girl went to go party. We text throughout the night, me asking where she is and when she’s coming home and I begin to wait. I pass out around 4 waiting and she comes walking home at 11 with a mark on her neck.
I didn’t do anything. I stared at her, she stared at me. If anything we had an eye battle. I left everything I had there, nowadays just sitting in the library, feeling like a loser.”
7. His Parents Said They Were Just Watching TV
“I was a best friend to a couple (Let’s call them Adam and Ashley) in high school, they had been together for a year or so… She had gotten pregnant at the beginning of their relationship and had already had the child. They lived with his parents who owned a huge RV park, his parents would take care of the kid while he was working in the RV park (he dropped out) and while she was at school with me.
They had recently started hanging out with another couple quite a bit (Steve and Jessi), the guy went to school while the girl had already finished/dropped out. So while Ashley, Steve, and I are at school, Adam, Jessi, and this other guy would hang out until we got out of school and could all hang out.
Ashley started asking me if I thought Adam was acting weird, which he kinda was…
she and Steve suspected something but it wasn’t too obvious. So she started deviating a plan to catch them. We went to an accelerated graduation program school that you could literally ‘Clock out’ and leave and show up when you wanted… you just had to be there at least 20 hours a week. So she made a plan for the next day.
So, the three of us leave earlier than we usually did, I parked in the parking lot next to their house and we walked over so, in a worst-case scenario, we would catch them in the act.
We came in the door and his mother and father were sitting in the kitchen tending to the baby and no Adam or Jessi to be seen. It’s a giant open area and the kitchen, living room is one big space and his door is right in the open to the kitchen straight across. So, Steve and Ashley both approached the door… turned the handle and sure enough, it’s locked.
At this point, Ashley had the key ready beforehand so she quickly unlocked the door and sure enough, there’s Adam and Jessi on the bed mostly unclothed trying to cover up. Needless to say, Ashley and Steve were pretty wound up… Adam stepped outside, and naturally, Steve went and started swinging on him, Adam ended up just pinning him on the ground.
Ashley and Adam were very open with their relationship.
But going behind-the-back stuff was off-limits, and obviously, it wasn’t cool with Steve at all. So it played little role in what happened to her afterward.
The oddest part though was how his parents never suspected anything, they just said, ‘He told us they were just watching TV’… Either way, they broke up… she ended up with some sketchy dude we randomly met a couple of months earlier, signed her rights off to her child…
giving it to her cousin. They were married 5 months later and moved with the guy and his parents to another city.
Adam moved several hours away to attend school, he married had 2 more kids, and recently found out his wife was seeing other people, now separated but takes care of both children by himself. He turned out pretty good.
7-8 Years went by and Ashley randomly contacted me, she had just gotten out of prison…
She’s a very messed-up individual now. We had a short-lived relationship in which she lived with me for 3 months, she was still married to the guy and I was paying for the divorce, the day he got out of jail she walked out of my house ‘to make a phone call’ and hitchhiked and spent the night with him.
I could have probably forgiven her for it because they were together when they both got locked up…
hadn’t seen each other in 9 months, and still technically married but, she was just too much and still couldn’t shake her sick love for the junkie guy. I tried to kinda give her another chance but, she’s basically a walking tornado, the junkie guy ruined her which is sad because she really used to be an amazing person. I can only imagine what she’s up to.”
6. She Fooled Me For The Second Time
“So the typical ‘he’s just a friend! You’re such a horrible person for being so suspicious!’ thing was going on. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but some signs are just too obvious to dismiss as paranoia.
So one day, she starts a fight over nothing (it’s been a few years, I forget what it was, but it wasn’t nearly as important as she was making it out to be).
I do my best to try to stay rational about it, but she insists she’s deeply hurt and is ‘going out for a drive’.
Hours roll by. Finally, I’ve had enough time to think clearly without being under her manipulative spell to come to the realization she’s just given herself an excuse to go see the guy she was texting right before the moot argument broke out.
I decided to be a creep. I know, I know, but you’re only crazy if they’re not actually out to get you. I logged on to her machine as the build-time admin user and accessed her AIM logs. If I had turned up ‘hey dude sup’ instead of ‘I can’t wait to leave him for you,’ I would’ve felt like a jerk. However, I did find what I thought.
The first thing I did was call this guy’s ‘significant other’ and let her know we were both right, we were both being played. She agreed that they’d been pretty suspicious around each other. Next, I called her cell. No answer. At this point, I was pretty furious and called over and over until she picked up.
I told her to get home (we had lived together for about a year), RIGHT NOW.
I knew what was going on and we were going to talk about it IMMEDIATELY. Normally I wouldn’t think of telling her what to do, but this is not happy harmony relationship time. This is ‘you are caught in a lie that will tear us apart’ time.
We had a huge argument where she continually tried to position herself as the victim, that I hadn’t been giving her the attention she needed and this silver-tongued jerk had seduced her and blah blah blah.
I knew she was full of lies, but my heart wouldn’t let me tell her so.
Long story short, she moved out, I got clinically depressed and drank a lot, convinced myself that if I had her back I’d have the happiness I had before she pulled all these things back, and groveled for her.
Then, a year later, she stole my DJ gig and started sleeping with the bartender. I told her to pack her things and filed for divorce.”
5. I Finally Caught Him Red-Handed
“I was with a guy who attended college in Kentucky, while I was living in Indiana. I would go stay with him every weekend, and while he would be in class some days, I’d clean his dorm that he shared with 3 other guys and do all the laundry (with my own precious quarters). They thought I was sweet, so I had been really close with all his friends.
When things started to get weird, I was asking his roommates if anything was going on and everyone denied it. (I figured it was ok to ask, considering how well we knew each other)…
So I notice he’s being overly friendly to this girl that was in their circle of friends. She was pretty lame, stuck in her grade school emo phase, nothing but skin and bone, way too much eyeliner, etc (not sure what he saw in her)…
but anyway, we’re all sitting around watching a movie, and while I’m halfway cuddled on top of him, he’s receiving texts from her, and keeping his screen angled away from my view, not replying. Of course, he goes to the bathroom every so often to do just that. That night, while he’s in the shower, I check his phone, only to see he’s deleted all her texts.
So I decided to wait and see if I could get anything substantial to shove in his face.
The next weekend, I visit again. I get there before he’s out of class, and the room isn’t quite right. I had made him, from scratch, a stuffed penguin (the inside joke related) that he used to keep on top of his dresser that was shoved in the back of his closet, under a bunch of boxes.
So I brought these things up to him, and he denied everything. So I went home, only to find, about 12 hours later, there were a bunch of pictures on social media that he was tagged in. There was a picture of the girl, on his couch, wearing one of his shirts. The next picture was the two of them kissing. I come to find out later that they were sleeping with other people close by and everyone was in on this little secret against me. I took it pretty hard at first, but when I had proof of his two-timing, I slept with a cute guy that just got hired at my work. I was able to quickly get over him, because now I’m happily married to the said cute guy, and we’re living in Florida.”
4. Friend Had A Late-Night Exercise With His Neighbor
“They had been together for a few months. Guys are still friends and all was forgotten about a week after the incident.
In my last year of college, a buddy (we’ll call him Morton) brought a pretty hot little blonde (who we will call ‘Pilot’) to the tailgate before a college football game. We tailgated pretty hard in those days and were FAR from sober long before the game started…
You could already tell our little Pilot was a bit of a drag puppy. It was entertaining, but if you were paying attention you could see the impending disaster.
Anyhow, Morton had a ticket to the game but his chick didn’t. She decided to just go to the bars downtown with his friends and they’d meet up later. This was the fatal mistake that leads to so much hilarity.
After the game, we head back to Morton’s house to cook out and drink a bit and he starts asking around about Pilot. Turns out, someone saw her walk into our neighbor’s house (one of our friends that took her to the bar. We’ll call him Bob) so he headed on over to meet back up. Morton walks in to see his chick sleeping with Bob and loses it.
Typical yelling, screaming, etc. Morton storms out screaming and yelling.
After a few minutes, Morton goes back next door and is beating on the windows and doors yelling and screaming (they had been locked after he left so our little Pilot could be in privacy). Eventually, Bob sheepishly comes to the door in his boxers to try and calm the situation down. Thus beginneth the fun. (this is about the time a few friends and I walk over to enjoy the show.
We brought folding chairs and drinks and sat down in the front yard to enjoy the show).
As soon as Bob opens the door, Morton grabs a hold of his chest hair and jerks him outside. Picture two skinny, inebriated guys rolling around, falling in the bushes, slap fighting and scratching each other. Ultimately, Morton finds a golf club in the yard and starts to chase Bob (still in boxers, but now covered in mud and scratches) around the front yard yelling and screaming.
Morton was running out of steam but was trying to swing the golf club.
A random stranger walked up and asked if we should stop them or call the cops. I looked up, smiled, and said: ‘Nah. let ’em work it out. Little guys need some exercise anyway.’
All the while, Pilot snuck out the window. The last we saw of her was her running down the road in the middle of the night. She never came back for her things and we never discussed the situation again.”
3. One Incident Changed My Entire Lifestyle
“I was sleeping with multiple people. I had a significant other (not involved in the story) and was sleeping with these 2 girls who we’ll call Yoga and Hipster. Hipster was super cute and like 12 years younger than me (32 vs 20) but I had gotten picky. (head too big, a tuft of hair on her lower back that was too dark for my taste, she hated to cuddle and her futon squeaked too loud).
So I had gradually weaned myself away from her and was really focused on my relationship with Yoga, with who I seemed to enjoy all her little eccentricities. She was 24 at the time.
Despite the casual nature of things – both girls thought I was only sleeping with them. Both girls knew I had a live-in/long-term partner but the truthful disclosed reality was that our relationship was hanging by a thread and I was about to get my own place and move out/break up for good.
The day finally arrived where I moved out into my own apartment (in reality a roach-infested house). I had decided that I would meet with Hipster and end things romantically and pursue Yoga as something more than just a good-time buddy. I text Hipster and she invites me over. I’m not really nervous. In fact, I feel like for once I’m doing the right thing, being responsible.
In the last 24 hrs, I had moved out, ended my horrible ‘real’ relationship and now I was ending it with Hipster in order to have a fun, hot, casual, exciting relationship with Yoga. I bounced up the stairs to Hipster’s apartment and walked in.
There is Hipster sitting on the squeaky futon, Yoga sitting next to her.
There was nothing I could do but take a seat and be berated.
They were crying. I had really really hurt them both. I was so caught up with these girls that I forgot they had little yoga/hipster feelings and emotions and lives of their own that had been utterly disrupted by my selfish actions.
They had a large friend network in our community that put two and two together and through a series of unfortunate events outed me as the worst person in the world.
In one weekend I went from a confident idiot sleeping with at least 3-6 women a week to a dumped and lonely jerk, stuck alone in my lonely man-cave with the entire community hating my guts.
But deep down underneath all the lies Yoga and I always had strong feelings for each other. 24hrs later she came to my apartment and after a lot of ground rules. We got back together.
We built a great loving relationship, she lost all her friends after they pulled a ‘him or us’ drama, I took a job in a new state and we moved together, I never strayed again and have no desire to become that person again. We’re still together today.”
2. I Got Dreadlocks, Money, And A Dog
“I met this girl (we’ll call her Nelly) when I was in a previous relationship (we’ll call her Hermoine) in high school. My relationship with Hermoine wasn’t going where I wanted, but she was heavily invested. We 3 took a road trip together that was incredibly awkward as I was developing feelings for Nelly but still in a relationship with Hermoine. Soon after we got back from a situation I never should have put us all in, I ended my 9-month relationship one evening with Hermoine with threats of her throwing a concrete block at my windshield.
It was wrong to take them both on a trip with me, but I never did anything wrong and felt I handled the situation as best I could given my emotional immaturity at the time.
A few weeks later, Nelly and I started a relationship right before heading to college together. Hermoine went to the same college but transferred out in the 2nd year to go out with one of my long-time friends.
I was glad she found someone who would appreciate her. Nelly and I had a 4-year relationship through college that wasn’t without its rough patches, but was developing into what I thought would be marriage and a lifetime… until it all fell to pieces in a matter of minutes.
See, Nelly made occasional trips back home without me to see her family and friends. She also made a trip 6 months into the relationship to her country of origin to visit family there.
While mostly inaccessible during these trips, and her flirtatious nature that had me interested in her in the first place, I had trusted her and didn’t think much about the possibility of her seeing other people.
The evening of our breakup Nelly had returned to our apartment from a trip she made back home to see friends and family. She was acting a bit awkward when she came in but jumped me shortly after her arrival for some intimate time.
It was quick and different from what I was used to, so when it all wrapped up I asked what all that was about. She sat in bed shaking and responded ‘I think I might betray you.’ That phrase seemed a bit weird, but I appreciated that we were talking about a problem before it arose and tried to get to the bottom of why she thought that might occur.
After talking things out, I concluded with ‘well those are all things we can work on so you don’t see other people. Just to make sure, you haven’t, right?’ She responded ‘no’ but wouldn’t look at me directly when saying it. I asked again, and again… and she repeated ‘no,’ but each time seemed less sincere. When I asked the 4th time, she admitted to it.
I got angry. I punched our bedroom wall – but only hurt my fist in the process – the place was clearly worth our monthly rent… or I’m a weakling.
I then asked how many times. ‘Once,’ she said. I applied more pressure. Once became twice, twice became three times. As trust for her faded, I pressured again – ‘You sure it’s just three times?’ Look, this was a line of questioning I shouldn’t have pressed…
but it’s what I wanted to know at the time. It was more than three times, but I don’t recall the exact number. The next line of questioning was ‘since when?’ This led down a path of the past few months, then the past few years, then all the way back to the trip she took to her country of origin at 6 months into our relationship.
I figure out I’ve been lied to for 3.5 years of our 4-year relationship, and she’s been with more people than I can count on one hand. I’m far from a perfect human being, and I clearly didn’t meet her needs, but that situation hurt more than most things I’ve experienced in life. I told her she had a problem and should seek therapy, clearly hurt but also genuinely concerned for any future relationships she may have (right or wrong).
I told her to leave, so she stayed with a friend for a few nights. I did all the stereotypical things during that time frame like calling her constantly wanting to figure it out and pleading with her friend as to why she would do something so hurtful. She came back and looked for a place to live and moved out after about a week. I helped her move, valued all our shared items and split them or $ accordingly, and got stuck with a newly renewed lease that I couldn’t afford.
Her punishment? I made her dreadlock my hair for 22 hours of excruciating pain. While tedious for her, perhaps it was even more punishment for me. Got the dreadlocks, got a raise to afford my apartment, and got a dog.
It was my senior year in college and as an individual living a relatively introverted lifestyle I questioned my ability to find someone else before and after entering the real world. 3 months later I met ‘Terri’ through a mutual friend and a class we shared. We’ve been together for 5+ years and I couldn’t be happier. It was a tough experience, but it taught me a good deal and I’m better off for it.”
1. Caught Him In The Act One Day Before My Birthday
“So, maybe like 6 years ago, I was going through some hard times with my significant other. We had been together for like 3 years and everything was as bad as it could get.
I was working one night, and suddenly I just got a feeling I should call my man. Well, it rang and rang and rang but he wasn’t answering even after I called 3 or 4 times.
This wasn’t like him at all, we just aren’t that kind of couple and we lived together, and I knew he wasn’t at work. I don’t know why, but I just started crying and shaking, and feeling that something was off. My boss saw me crying and told me to go home, so I took the metro and then hopped in a cab. The entire cab ride home I was just shaking and praying, somehow knowing that I was being lied to.
I arrive home where we lived with ‘roommates’ (shared housing), and I bust through our bedroom door, and lo and behold, my man is laying in bed with a girl, and he has on only his jeans. Immediately I drop my bags, he hops up, and I just throw my body at both of them, knocking my fish tank (with piranhas) over in the process. I try to punch her and she dodges it, and my man pulls me off of her.
I stand up and try to punch him and he dodges it and tells the girl to leave – meanwhile, she’s looking and him going, ‘Who is this?’ She had her clothes in my closet and I’m telling her to get out.
Meanwhile, my man runs upstairs to an empty room. I don’t know what he was thinking, I guess he just knew he messed up and went up there for some reason.
So I go up there and tell him he needs to get the girl out of my house, and he’s like ‘No, I can’t, I’m sorry, blah blah blah,’ some gibberish I don’t remember well. Oh, I asked him why he did it and he goes, ‘I don’t know, we’ve just been together for so long…’ and trailed off. Okay. So, because I was loyal to you for a long time, that means you should stray.
Idiot. Anyway, I told him to get out, pack his things and leave and never come back. The girl is gone at this point, and I just watch as he packs his bags and tries to leave. This is where it gets exponentially dumber. I couldn’t believe he was just leaving without a fight, without trying to convince me that he should stay. Looking back on it, I see why he wouldn’t try to do that – but at the time, I just felt even more offended and abandoned.
So, I start going off on him for trying to leave. This is probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done, but also… considering that we’re still together 6 years later, I guess it had decent results, considering that I don’t know what would have happened if I did just make/let him leave.
Of course, there’s more to the story than that, but that’s what happened that night. Oh yeah, the next day was my birthday. Happy Birthday!”
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