People Share The Blame In Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
47. AITJ For Involving Police To Retrieve My Daughter's Stolen Switch From My Nephew?
“I had a cookout at my place on the 4th. My daughter’s (13) switch goes missing. I contacted family members and my wife’s sister (Kara) said my daughter gave it as a gift to her son Stevie (6) for his upcoming birthday.
I ask my daughter and she said it wasn’t true she let Stevie use it so they could all play Mario Cart together and it went missing after the cookout. My daughter is upset and I call Kara back who insists that the switch is now Stevies and my daughter is too old to play anyways or will outgrow it soon and it was a gift to Stevie.
She calls my daughter an “Indian Giver”
After this I contacted my uncle who is a police officer and he watches Kara’s house and a few of his friends go over and threaten to arrest Steve and Kara over stolen property. Kara reluctantly gives it back after an incident with the officer that she could have been arrested for.
They warned Stevie next time he takes something without permission both him and his mom will go to jail. They let my sister-in-law go without incident.
My sister-in-law says Stevie has been crying non stop and having issues sleeping because he doesn’t want to go to jail and blaming me and my family for traumatizing her son. My response might have been heartless because it was “I guess he’ll never take something without permission again” Kara thinks he’ll be traumatized for life for making a big deal over a stupid game.”
46. AITJ For Showing My Kids The Budget To Prove Their Dad Doesn't Pay For Our Home?
“Ok I’m getting mixed opinions from this. Two kids 13 and 11, I’m not going to lie we live a pretty frugal life, all my extra money I make goes into their college accounts or fun weekends. Dad has them once a month and is the fun parent.
Can’t get his child payments in but willing to do a surprise trip to Kennywood. It’s frustrating all right.
I try not to say anything bad about him but he has been pushing the narrative that without him and the money he gives me we wouldn’t have the home.
It’s so false, and now the kids are going well dad pays for this. My last straw is when the kids told me that it’s dad who pays for the home. So I pulled up my budget spread sheet and it includes all the stuff that he pays for, so child support and he hasn’t paid for the past two months.
The kids were upset for being lied to and the oldest get in an argument with him since she called to confirm. We got in an argument and he is calling me a jerk. My friends are split on this and I am wondering if I went too far.”
45. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Daughter Pay Tribute To Her Stepdad?
“I have two children. Emily (30f) and Hayes (26m) with my ex-wife. She left me a few months after Hayes was born and ended up getting back together with her high school ex Sam. Sam and my ex ended up marrying seven months later.
Emily has always adored Sam. I, however, hate the guy. For years he would work on getting under my skin, saying I wasn’t a good enough dad to my daughter because I wasn’t enough and she considered him her dad too.
He’d tell me every single time she had called him Daddy Sam or Dad Sam. When I told him he was being childish he’d tell me in return that he knew it cut me up inside to have to share her affection as dad.
He told me one day he would be walking her down the aisle and maybe she’d even want him to do it alone and would not want me anywhere near them for that.
Despite all this Sam was never able to come between me and Emily and we have always been very close.
Sam never cared for Hayes as much. I think Hayes being gay has a large part to play in Sam not caring for him as much as he does Emily.
There are times I had to restrain myself from exploding in front of the kids when Sam would taunt me.
I knew he’d love a chance to get me out of my kids lives.
Last year Sam was diagnosed with motor neuron disease. He’s now in a wheelchair and has lost his mobility and his speech has suffered greatly.
Emily is getting married in a few months and wanted us both to bring her down the aisle.
A week ago she came to my house and told me she wanted to pay a special tribute to Sam and she wanted my help to do it (both finance and planning). I told her I would not help her with that.
She was upset. Said Hayes refused to help her as well. She told me Sam means a lot to her and she would have thought I would be glad that she had two amazing father figures. I told her Sam and I did not have a positive relationship and there is no way I would ever spend my money or time doing something nice for the man.
I told her he had treated me poorly over the years and I accepted she loved him. But he was not worthy of my money or that effort in my eyes. She asked me if I would do it for her.
I told her I could not. She said okay.
Emily’s fiance called me up after this and said whatever petty issues between Sam and I, could I not do something for my daughter when she’s going to lose one of her most special people.
He said I was breaking Emily’s heart because she doesn’t want to be caught between us. That it’s clear I am enjoying watching Sam suffer as he is and that’s proven by my actions and I’m not being a good dad to Emily.
AITJ?”
44. AITJ For Yelling at My Brother-In-Law After He Woke Me Up to Cook Dinner?
“I, a 39-year-old female, my husband Tom (37m), and our 2 sons (12m) were recently in a house fire and lost our home. Luckily, we were all out of the house when this happened. Tom’s brother Sean (40m) and his wife agreed to let us stay at their place with their kids while we sort out insurance.
I don’t particularly care for Sean as he subscribes to traditional gender roles in a household. We’ve had issues since he discovered that I intended to keep my maiden name at work, which I informed him was none of his business and my personal choice.
He works full time and his wife is a housewife. When we had our sons, Sean assumed I would quit my job as a doctor and become a stay-at-home mom. However, Tom became a stay-at-home dad instead and then went back to work after our son started school.
He doesn’t share the same thought process as Sean. Sean clearly disapproves of this and has not been shy about vocalizing his thoughts on the matter.
I got Tom to speak to Sean and he has left us alone since, but occasionally used to make comments at holidays and birthdays about it which I ignored.
They stopped when Tom returned to work and since then Tom says Sean has grown as a person. Tom and Sean are very close, and I would never tell him to stop talking to him, but I personally try to interact as little as possible with Sean.
My sons’ school and Tom’s workplace are within walking distance from Sean’s house which is why I agreed to stay, and endure the situation while we get back on our feet as it is temporary.
Yesterday was a very hectic day at work, and I was exhausted.
My shift ended midday and I went straight to bed. Everyone was out of the house; Sean and Tom went to work, the kids were at school and Sean’s wife went to see a friend. Sean got home first and woke me up.
I was upset and still tired and when I asked him why, he said I should make a start on dinner as it was getting late and his wife was out and not picking up her phone. Usually, I do the cooking in the house with his wife, but I was upset that Sean had woken me up and I told him off for disturbing me.
I asked him to leave the room and told him I was going back to sleep and he could sort out his own dinner.
When I woke up that evening, Sean told me that while I was under his roof I needed to respect his house rules.
I told him he could’ve cooked himself, heated leftovers in the fridge or got takeaway. Tom thinks that Sean did overstep by waking me up and making demands, but I shouldn’t have raised my voice and escalated the situation.
Update: I spoke to a friend who said we are welcome at her place.
I told my husband I was leaving with the kids and he was welcome to join me or stay with Sean. My brother-in-law didn’t tell my husband the whole story and said I just flat out refused to cook and then spoke harshly to him out of tiredness, when one of the conditions on us staying was that we would cook and help out around the house.
I was upset that my husband believed Sean, but he didn’t have the full story. In our culture, we place a big emphasis on respecting elders and I know I feel uncomfortable opposing elder relatives on my side of the family, so I understand why my husband does struggle.
This experience has made me put my foot down though and I have told my husband I don’t want our sons anywhere near him. I think this has also been an eye-opener for my husband and he has agreed to move out with me, although my brother-in-law asked him to stay.
When we get our place sorted only my sister-in-law and my kids’ cousins will be allowed over. My sister-in-law has called to apologise for my brother-in-law’s behaviour and I have not heard from him at all, he was silent to me and only talked to my husband and the kids.
I agreed to move in with my brother-in-law as I believed he had changed in his beliefs and it had been a few years since our last disagreement, but apparently not. Also, the house belonged to my husband’s late parents and he owns half of it. With our insurance, they have finally ruled the fire as a faulty electrical in our kitchen, so we will get a place of our own by Friday.”
43. AITJ For Defending My Son's Right to Set His Own Boundaries?
“I (30m) was talking with my wife’s friend who was there for dinner. She tried to hug my son (7), but he had a bad day and said no thanks. She kept pressuring him when and he didn’t budge, so she looked at me.
I said a kid at school started a fight with him, and he was grumpy, so maybe later.
She said “Come on. You’re just gonna let him disobey like that?”
I said I raised him to build his own boundaries and say no when something violates them, and I would never make him break them for someone else.
She laughed and said he’s lucky he’s not her kid, and that behavior would be fixed fast.
I had my son go to his room, then I told her to get out. I said the reason I got out of bed in the morning was to see my son grow another day older, and I would not stand for him being treated like a pet rather than a person.
She called me a jerk and left. My wife is disappointed, because she went to yoga with her, but says she can’t scold me, because she’d probably do the same. AITJ?”
42. AITJ For Spending My Partner's Birthday Party Talking to Her Grandmother?
“Yesterday we celebrated my(m23) partner’s(f21) 21st birthday. Her parents threw a big celebration party with all her friends and family. For me personally, this was the first time I met anyone in her family with the exception of her parents. It was also her first birthday I celebrated with her since we’ve been together for about ~7 months.
Now, I am originally from Romania from a region called Maramures. But I’ve been living abroad for 11 years now. My partner mentioned at some point that one of her grandmothers was also from Romania but we didn’t discuss it in detail.
So yesterday I met my partner’s grandmother and what can I say… I couldn’t believe how small the world was, not only was she Romanian but from the same county as me Maramures. So we talked, and talked a lot. She told me her life story.
We reminisced about Baia Mare. I really enjoyed the conversation, especially talking in my native language.
And that’s how I spent most of the party. Of course when my partner asked me to take photos with her, or when the cake came I gave her my full attention.
But for the most part she spent time with her friends, dancing, drinking etc. While I was just talking with her grandmother.
I didn’t pay it much mind.
But after the party was done she told me she felt neglected by me during her birthday. And this morning she seems upset with me.”
41. AITJ For Not Paying For My Daughter's Wedding Because She Won't Let Me Walk Her Down The Aisle?
“I’m a 48-year-old man and my 19-year-old daughter has always been an independent thinker. I raised her to be independent and think for herself, which I’ve always appreciated. However, we recently hit a bit of a snag.
She got engaged and decided that she doesn’t want me to walk her down the aisle at her wedding.
She argues that her mother and I don’t “own” her, therefore we have no right to “give her away”. I feel hurt by this because we never treated her like an object or piece of property, rather we’ve tried our best to provide her with a wonderful life.
Her stance seems extreme to me and despite discussions, she’s refusing to budge on the issue. I respect her choices, but I feel she’s disregarding our feelings completely. As a response, I told her that if she feels that way, then I won’t be paying for her wedding.
I don’t want to come across as controlling or manipulative. It’s true, I don’t “own” her, I also don’t owe her a fully-funded wedding. She can pay for her own wedding if she’s insistent on this stance.
I’m feeling quite conflicted about this. AITJ?”
40. AITJ For Withholding Money From My Unhelpful Son?
“My son, Gabe 19 is back for the summer after his first year at college. Now before college he was such a thoughtful kid, this issue started this summer. He came back and won’t do a favor for anyone. At college he rarely called which was expected, he was busy and doing his work.
He came back and doing anyone any favors is impossible, can you close the door, his answer is not my door. It’s raining I’m at work can you make sure the dog is in, came home and the dog was soaked since he didn’t let him in.
It’s for everything.
Father’s Day, he forgot even though his sister and I reminded him and he didn’t even show up for cake. That made my husband really sad. My breaking point was I got called into work last night for an emergency.
Husband is gone for the week and my daughter was asleep. All I asked is for him to put the leftovers away since I need to leave ASAP. It was so simple yet when I came back home at 3 am they were still out.
I went to his room, he was still up and we got into an argument, if he can’t do anything for this family we won’t do anything for him. I then took back the money I gave him for a trip and told him to pay for it himself.
He called me a jerk and my daughter is happy with the outcome. My mother called it too extreme even though we have talked about this multiple times.
I have tried to talk to him about this it’s like a brick wall so if something happened at college he is not telling me.”
39. AITJ For Confronting A Loud Passenger About Their Noise Level On My Flight?
“At the airport now. The lady 2 seats behind me on the flight was talked extremely loud the entire flight. I had earplugs in and it was piercing my ears.
After the flight landed the lady across the aisle from me looked terrified and said they’re on her next flight.
I got up and walked back and said, “you guys are flying to Florida next right? You may want to consider being a little more quiet on your next flight. I had earplugs in and could hear you screaming the entire time”
I turn back around and her partner calls me an idiot.
So I turned back and asked what he said. He told me I was an idiot. Then the girl chimes in and said, “we weren’t even talking loud.”
I show them the earplugs in my hand and said, “I had earplugs in my ears 2 seats ahead of you, and I heard all about Franks wedding, your nail appointment, feeding your dogs, your cellphone bill, the tv shows your mom watches”
Am I the jerk?”
38. AITJ For Being Upset When My Fiancé's Family Threw a Party at Our House While We Were Working?
“My fiancé and I own a house with a pool in the backyard. His brother, Jay, had asked the day before if him and his family (wife + 3 kids) could come over on Sunday to swim after one of the kids’ sports games, which was at a park close by to us.
Now, fiancé and I own a business together that requires WFH (work from home) on Sundays. Everyone that we know is aware of this, including his brother. I voiced my opinion that I felt it was weird for people to be at our house while we were working in the basement, but fiancé assured that it would just be chill.
He said it’s normal for family to use people’s pools even if they weren’t home.
So, we let them come thinking that they would swim for maybe an hour then leave. But it wasn’t just them. Fiancé’s parents also came (we figured they would), but the kicker is that Jay also invited 2 of his friends plus their partners and their kids as well.
We do know these people but both fiancé and I were not aware of this beforehand.
So now it’s a full on party in our backyard while we are working in the basement. I became very annoyed that they did not only invite themselves but some of their friends as well.
It made me feel guilty that I couldn’t be in my own backyard to host people because I was working. It also felt like they were just using the house and didn’t really care about seeing us, the homeowners. Not to mention, the house was a complete mess.
We had a busy Friday and Saturday and I didn’t bother cleaning much before because I figured it would just be Jay’s family.
Everyone was here from 1:00 PM til 7:00 PM. We finished work around 3:00 PM, at which time fiancé put on his swim trunks to join them outside.
I got in a pretty bitter mood from it all and stayed inside. I didn’t say hello to anyone cause I figured they weren’t even here to see me, just my pool. I did some laundry and some cleaning up and I did end up seeing a few people who were coming inside to use the washrooms.
I said hi and tried to make some small talk but I really wasn’t happy.
Fiancé came in and said that I was creating an awkward/unwelcoming atmosphere by not being outside. I told him I never planned to have a party today so I was just carrying on doing what I originally had planned which was laundry and cleaning.
Fiancé keeps saying that I was rude for not joining them outside after work. He also says things like “the pool is meant to be used” and that “it’s family time” AITJ?”
37. AITJ For Exposing My Cousin's Reason For Uninviting Me To Her Wedding?
“I, a 20-year-old female, have a cousin who is 23. She just got married to her partner of about 2 years, a 21-year-old male. He proposed to her about 4 months ago and they had their wedding 3 days ago. One thing about me and her husband – we were in a relationship in high school for about 2 years.
We broke up on good terms as we just didn’t feel in love with each other anymore and we stayed good friends. Then in college, my cousin met him at a party and they started going out a few months later.
I was fine with them being together as I have no romantic feelings for him anymore. My cousin found out him and I were in a relationship in high school because one of our mutual friends made a joke about how he was moving through our family (I didn’t tell her because we weren’t that close).
I thought she might be a little shocked but get over it, but I was wrong.
Two days before the wedding, I asked her what time it was on. She just looked at me and said “oh sorry girl, you’re not coming.” Of course I asked her why, and she just answered “look, you’ve put me through enough hurt knowing you’re in love with my man.
Just be a good cousin for once and stop trying to steal him. I don’t want you at the wedding because you’ve had an intimate relationship with my future husband. Just respect that.”
I felt so hurt because I spent lots of unpaid time helping her and I spent my own funds on her wedding and now she won’t even let me go? So I got upset and left.
Then I sent a text to her saying I want my money back. She said no. I said if she doesn’t give me my money back right now then I’m telling everyone why I’m not able to go to her wedding.
Keep in mind I spent hundreds of dollars on her wedding.
She still said no, I’m not giving it back, you can tell them I don’t care. So I did. I was upset and hurt she would do that to me. At this point there was one day until the wedding and I posted on Instagram “I let my cousin be with my Ex, tomorrow is their wedding and I’m not allowed to go because I was with him first.” She saw that along with loads of other people from my family.
They knew it was about her. The family was super mad with her for that and she came crying to my apartment calling me a no good (beeping) snake. She told me that because I was such a jerk, people were dropping out of the wedding. I didn’t mean for that to happen.
AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Making My Dad Pay For Damages His Son Caused To My Car?
“My dad left my mom when I was 12. I love both of them but when he remarried within a year of the divorce I knew more than I needed to know.
I live close to both my folks and they both have keys to my house in case of emergency.
My half brother (18) still lives with my father and his mother. He seems like a good enough kid but he is my dad’s son not my brother.
I just went on vacation to Brazil for a couple of weeks. When I got back my car stunk.
I almost threw up from the reek.
I found a piece of chicken breast rotting in my car.
I don’t buy raw chicken breast to eat. I hate the way it feels. I buy it prepared and fully cooked.
I asked my mom about it and she had no clue.
I asked my father and he told me that he borrowed my car, which he is allowed to do, and used it to get groceries.
I told him that he had to pay someone to clean my car. I got ahold of a detailing company but they said that the smell was in my upholstery and I would probably need to get it replaced.
I told my dad and he said that he couldn’t afford that. I called my insurance company and asked if I was covered in any way. They said that if my car had been used without my permission I could report it as stolen and they would cover it.
I told my dad and he lost it. He admitted that his son had taken my keys and used my car. And that if I reported it stolen he would get in trouble and it would affect his college admission.
I gave my father four choices, pay to replace the upholstery in my car and guarantee the smell was gone, buy the car from me at full market value so I could replace it, give me his car to use until the smell went away, or I would report the car as having been stolen.
Since the only extra money he has is his son’s college fund he is in a bind. I told him I was taking his car until he decided. I grabbed both sets of keys and left. I also took my emergency key back and changed the locks at my house.
His wife has been hounding me because they have to drive around in a stinking car. I told her that I could report it as stolen and have her thief son deal with the consequences. She has had to start taking Ubers everywhere because she can’t handle the stench. My dad is close to cracking and using his kid’s money to pay for my car.
I feel like a jerk and that family thinks I am but my car was only a year old and I loved it.”
35. AITJ For Choosing Our Family Dog Over Hosting A Friend With Severe Dog Allergy?
“Me (32m), my wife (30f), and our 2 daughters (both under 5) live in a decent sized apartment, not grand or anything of the sort but big enough for us and for us to host another person for a limited amount of time that it would not be a burden.
Recently a friend of mine (28m), that I’ve known for a few years from an old job, is going through a divorce has asked me for a place to stay. I talked it over with my wife and she has no problems with him staying with us.
When I told him that he could stay he was so grateful, but then told me to let him know once we have gotten rid of our dog and deep cleaned the home as he has a severe dog allergy, we never knew about this as it has never been an issue, we always hung out at a mutual friends house, work, the bar, or double dates at restaurants where no dogs are.
I told him that we would not be able to get rid of our dog to accommodate, as he is a part of our family, getting older and that it would honestly devastate our girls and us.
He is now running around bad mouthing us to our friend group for taking back our offer for him to stay with us and choosing a dog over his health. I have been receiving multiple calls saying that I am the jerk for not helping him now.”
34. AITJ For Refusing To Use My College Fund For My Half-Brother's Medical Treatment?
“My parents divorced when I was about 7 because my dad had admitted to being unfaithful. My mom and I moved out of our house and into an apartment while my dad immediately moved his mistress into our house because she was pregnant with my twin brothers.
My mom was devastated but she quickly picked herself up for us. She went back to school and as a result, she continued climbing up in her career. My mom adjusted better to going from a double income household to a single income and was able to contribute a substantial amount of funds to my college fund.
My dad on the other hand had a harder time as he now has to support a family of 4 sometimes 5 on a single income as his wife is a SAHM. My dad did not have much disposable income and so did not contribute as much to the fund.
I’m going to finish school soon and I have a good shot at getting into my first choices of college.
Unfortunately my brother [10M] was diagnosed with a kidney disease which has progressed to where he needs to be on dialysis. My dad is drowning in medical debt so my mom agreed he no longer needed to pay child support.
The specialist had suggested a different treatment for my brother as most other treatments didn’t help or stopped working and they are running out of options short of a transplant (not doable at this time). This treatment is not covered by insurance and costs a lot.
My dad can’t take out a loan due to debt.
Dad and his wife sat me down when I was over and asked if I would be willing to let them borrow my college fund to pay off my brother’s treatment. They offered to pay the funds back but I knew they wouldn’t be able to.
I really don’t want to give them the funds because I know if I don’t get any scholarships I wouldn’t be able to go to the college I want to without going into debt myself. My future would be at risk and I know my dad wouldn’t help if I needed it.
In addition, the funds technically belong to my mom, I can’t just give it away and I know she would refuse to give them the funds.
My dad and his wife are furious at both my mom and I and is trying to guilt me into it. I do feel terrible for my little brother.
AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Banning My Husband's Family From Our Wedding For Breaking Our Agreed Rules?
“Me (27 F) and my Husband (30 M) just got married this January, but the wedding was an absolute mess. For context, my husband “Ben” has a very close-knit family that doesn’t take well to outsiders, surprises, or change. Most family reunions and gatherings don’t allow plus-ones or spouses, just immediate family.
Ben has 2 brothers and 1 sister. Each of my in-laws have wives/husbands, yet they still aren’t allowed to come to the majority of family events, so it’s fortunately not just me.
Even though I cannot attend most events with his family, I still have a somewhat decent relationship with them.
Before the wedding I’ve never had a major issue with them, but they’ve always been distant from me and I don’t really mind.
Now, let’s talk about the wedding. The wedding was planned for New Years Day, since that was the day we met, the day Ben asked me to be his partner, and the day he proposed, so that holiday has always been very special to us.
Everyone agreed that New Years Day was a perfect day for the wedding, so no issues there.
Unfortunately, we did have a problem with other things. Ben’s family has lots of odd traditions that they do, and over the years I’ve put up with them and embraced them.
They include having a homemade sheet cake rather than a professional wedding cake, wearing all white, and having ALL of the children walk up the aisle to toss flowers rather than having ONE designated flower girl/boy. However, I wanted my wedding day to be good for the both of us, so we made some compromises.
We could have the homemade sheet cake, but we both had to agree on the flavor and design, anyone could wear what they wanted (besides white), and there would be no children at the wedding. (My husband suggested that, not me) We talked to both of our family’s, and everyone agreed that these rules and boundaries were fine, (or so we thought).
The day of the wedding came, and my side of the family was dressed appropriately, no children were present, everything was going great. Then, Ben’s family came. There were lots of children and babies and everyone was wearing all white. Apparently their traditions were more important than what I had to say.
Only 3 people actually respected the rules set in place. The spouses of Ben’s siblings. Ben and I were mortified. We immediately kicked them out and allowed the 3 people who followed the rules to stay, but they left with their partners (which we didn’t mind).
The wedding went on as normal, but it felt ruined. We ended up cancelling the post-wedding celebration after some of his family members snuck inside. After we came back from out honeymoon, we were both berated by his family members and basically “shunned” from his family. I feel guilty for not allowing them to practice their traditions. AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Kicking Out My Family After My Brother Insulted My Depressed Wife?
“My wife has been depressed lately losing her well paying job in November of last year. Her unemployment ran out and she’s now an assistant manager at a fast food place. She had a 3 phase interview for a job last week and didn’t get picked at the end of it after almost a two month process.
We decided to go through and host our 4th of July bbq and pool party.
My brother is a jerk and my parents enable him. My wife and I has her degree on our living room wall. My brother told her “you might as well shred that experience piece of paper because it’s doing you no good” My wife started crying and that’s extremely out of character for her.
She goes to the bedroom and locks herself in. My brother said it’s a joke but I had enough and told everyone to go home, the party is canceled.
My parents started arguing saying some people drove a few hours to be here and I said have the party at your place.
I told everyone to grab whatever you came with and leave. It was about 20-25 people and my mom said I’m an awful host and an embarrassment to my family and I said the same thing about my brother. He started it. So I made everyone leave. I’m getting mixed text messages about either checking in on my wife or being a jerk after kicking everyone out over one little comment my brother made.”
31. AITJ For Defending My Vegan Lifestyle Against My Partner's Stepdad's Comments?
“I (23 f) am with my partner (24 m) for over 3 years now. His parents (mom and stepdad) and I have had our issues in the beginning but after about two years, they seemed to accept me and, even though I won’t forget certain things they have said about or towards me, I felt like it went uphill.
Five months ago, I decided to go vegan. My partner has been very supportive all the time (he even eats a lot vegan food now, too) and when we visited his parents, his mom would also prepare something for me to eat.
I told her thank you and how much I appreciate that.
I’ve never commented their food or started a discussion about being vegan because I know it’s neither the time nor the place to do that. I realize they are not interested in it and I’m just glad that we get along tbh.
A couple weeks ago, my partner turned 24 and we had a bday-brunch at his parents house (with his sister and BIL). My partner provided the food and his mom, him and I prepared it together at their house. My partner wanted to have everything on the table available in vegan, too.
He wanted it not just for me but also for his family to try some if they wanted to.
Now, this happened:
My partner also put bacon and “vegan bacon” on the table. At this moment, it’s his stepdad, his sister and me at the table when his stepdad loudly comments something about how stupid the idea of “vegan bacon” is and who even needed that nonsense.
I didn’t think much of it and responded to him, in the nicest voice I had, that vegan bacon was a great alternative if you like the taste of bacon but don’t like eating body parts. Now he’s furious complaining he hasn’t ever heard such nonsense as meat being called body parts and how stupid that was.
Partner’s sister asked if he was fine and why he was so angry.
When we finally ate, I asked partner’s BIL for the egg salad (which was vegan too). So stepdad asked me if I’m now going to eat dead baby animals.
I respond that technically there’s no baby unless the egg was fertilized but it wasn’t real eggs anyway. This is when his mom steps in and says everyone should just eat their own food now and leave others alone.
A few days after this, his parents talked to my partner about it.
Stepdad says he’s not happy with how things went and that I was being disrespectful towards him by: calling meat “body parts”. He argues that, if anything, it’s a cadaver not a body (because it’s an animal and not human).
Honestly, I think this is ridiculous.
I admit I could’ve just ignored him maybe, but I don’t really see why I would sit there and let him talk like that (which in my opinion was disrespectful in the first place). My partner wants me to “fix” the situation.
I am ready to do that for his sake, but I honestly don’t think I am the one who owes an apology and I don’t want his parents to think it’s fine. All I think about this and especially his stepdad rn is like…play stupid games, win stupid prices… but maybe there’s different opinions on this. So, AITJ?”
Because I come from a ranching background I like to ask vegans how cute does an animal have to be before it doesn’t get killed for you to eat? Every time a field is plowed thousands of animals die. They are sized from microscopic to as large and rabbits, birds, snakes and foxes. Since very few people see this happening they ignore it. I would appreciate vegans learning about all aspects of their choice to not kill animals for food, because they still are. Unless you grow ALL your own food using no till methods (including preserving it) you are complicit in animal deaths. You are still going to harm worms and other small creatures.
30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Use My Expensive Tray At A Wedding?
“My partner (30M) and I (30F) were invited to his friend’s wedding. I’ve met the bride and groom a few times, he has known them for decades.
There is a local tradition for each guest to bring a dozen cookies to the wedding, then at the wedding everybody’s cookies are displayed together to make a cookie table.
We wanted to participate, so we baked cookies the night before.
I have a very beautiful and expensive tea tray. My partner suggested that I use it to display the cookies. I said no, it’s a 300-person wedding, I don’t want some auntie “accidentally” taking it home with her.
My partner seemed fine with this, we found a simple bowl that was perfectly appropriate for the occasion, and used that to display the cookies.
After the wedding as we were preparing to leave and I went to retrieve my bowl, my partner told the newlyweds that I didn’t want to use my tea tray because I thought one of their guests might steal it.
I tried to backtrack by saying that I just didn’t want it to get misplaced or damaged, but he “called me out on lying.” The newlyweds said something about everyone there being friends and family, it was very awkward and we left shortly.
I am angry because I told him that in confidence and he should have known better than to repeat that to his friends, even though they were very close.”
29. AITJ For Planning A Surprise Wedding And Taking Away Everyone's Chance To Be Involved?
“My father (66M) suddenly passed away, in February. It’s been a big shock and adjustment for everyone.
My now husband (35M) proposed on my (33F) birthday in March, he’d already talked to my mum and dad about it. I’m not a fan of big parties, so husband and I decided to do a small celebration for our engagement, have a nice meal at a fancy hotel, everyone can dress up.
The more we planned and the more we talked about it. We thought it would be fun to just get married. We have been together for coming up 10 years. Neither of us wanted a big wedding, so we thought a small surprise wedding would suit us.
Especially with my dad passing away I didn’t want a traditional big white wedding.
We invited 10 people, my mum, sister and her partner. His mum, dad, brother, his partner and daughter. We also invited our best friends (who are also in a relationship).
All goes to plan, everyone arrives, they are escorted into our reserved room where they see a sign saying welcome to the wedding of “Husband and OP”. Everyone is surprised. Our officiant gets people in places. Husband and I walk in together.
We get married. Both mums sign the marriage certificate. We go for our sit down meal.
Everyone seemed happy at the time, people were laughing. Saying they should have expected it. We had a photographer there to catch their reaction, ceremony and posed pictures after.
We went away locally for a small honeymoon. When we have gotten back, both my mum and his mum have pulled us aside separately to say they were disappointed in us. That we had taken away their opportunity to be with us when we chose a venue, did wedding planning stuff.
They are both especially upset they never came wedding dress shopping with me. Which I ironically didn’t even do, I bought an emerald green 1950s bodycon pencil dress online. It was the first and only dress I tried on.
AITJ for taking away everyone’s chance to be involved with the wedding?”
28. AITJ For Kicking My SIL Out After She Ruined My Husband's Celebration?
“My SIL, her husband and her kid (14) are staying with me and my husband for the next week because there’s a family funeral and all hotels were booked out for the blue grass fest and Kane Brown concert. We have a big farm house so it’s not big deal but SIL is very opinionated.
My SIL and my husband have different fathers. Her dad died from liver failure 10 years ago and his death date just past by not too long ago. He was a massive drinker and due to this, my SIL turns in to a jerk whenever she sees anyone drinking, especially people in her family.
Well, my husband (who isn’t a big drinker) went out with friends last night as kind of a last “hoo-ra” because we will be welcoming our first daughter in to this world in about a month and he just wanted to celebrate his becoming of a dad.
I encouraged him to go. I arranged for his Uber back home and he came in around 11pm last night. He was very tipsy. He walked in the door singing “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green, dancing, spinning me around the living room floor in some very sloppy waltz and laughing the whole time as he was tripping all over himself.
Now, my dad is a drinker too. So I get it, but honestly, I was having a blast with my tipsy husband. SIL comes in to the room and just starts laying in to my husband about him drinking. Screaming about how he was going to turn out “just like dad”, etc etc.
At this point my husband’s mood is dead. He’s crying. I lost it. I told her “how he can he turn out like a jerk when that jerk isn’t HIS father? Get out of my house right now and don’t ever come back.” She immediately went quiet and said she couldn’t take her daughter out at this time of night and that no hotels had vacancy and my husband “knew better” than to drink around her and I told her that’s not my problem. Leave. The whole family is mad at me and my husband right now for both him drinking in front of SIL and me kicking them out at midnight. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Getting Angry At My Husband And His Sister For Tampering With My Cooking?
“My husband’s sister (38) lives with us and our kids. I’m well beyond fed up with her being here because of food issues. That’s the only reason.
So, basically, every single time I make food his sister will come in and “doctor up” the food I’m making to her liking.
Like I made steak and shrimp the other day (like Applebee’s) and she waited until I left the room to put a full stick of butter in my shrimp- that was already done- and when I came back in, she goes “I’m pretty sure that’s the taste you were looking for” and completely ruined it.
It was trash. Or whenever I make spaghetti she will start dumping sugar into the sauce, to a point of sweet spaghetti that me and my kids outright refuse to touch because it’s nasty. Every single time that she can get away with it, she’s doing something to the food.
Anyways, my husband has started doing the same thing. I went to make homemade Mac last night and cheeseburgers. I went to the basement to the chest freezer to grab the veggies I needed and when I came back upstairs, my husband was putting canned chicken into the Mac n Cheese (he knows the kids absolutely hate the taste of that) and his sister has pushing blocks of blue cheese into the partially cooked burgers.
I asked what the heck they thought they were doing (because I’ve told them SO MANY TIMES to stop messing with the food) and neither of them had any good excuse, other than “we were just helping”. I flipped out and told them to get out of my kitchen.
Both of them told me I was overreacting, etc etc.
The thing is, I’ve openly asked my SIL to cook several times and she won’t. But she won’t stop messing with the food I’m making. My husband cooks often and I don’t care if he screws with food he makes but it really angers me when my cooking is messed with and he knows that. AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Asking My Mom to Stop Serving Unhealthy Food To Me and My Kids?
“A couple of years ago, I(34f) lost my job due to the company I worked for going into financial trouble. My husband at the time didn’t work which caused us to struggle for money and eventually led to him abandoning me and our 3 children (9f, 7f and 5m).
Because of this, my parents (65m and 64f) offered to let us move back in with them for a while.
Everything was fine, but after a few weeks I noticed that the food being given to us was both unhealthy and given in very large quantities.
I didn’t want to offend my mom so instead of bringing it up with her, I offered to do some of the cooking instead. However, she insisted it was all done by her because she “enjoys it”. Reluctantly, I obliged and just thought “I’ll just leave most of it”.
The problem with this, is that she started offering anything I didn’t eat to the children who ALWAYS ate ALL of it since they didn’t realize how bad it was for them. I also didn’t want to talk about this with the children because creating a fear about gaining weight always does more harm than good.
This carried on for about a year before I finally brought it up with her. I’ve gained almost 50 pounds and am now almost obese and 2 of the children are clinically obese now as well with the youngest still being firmly overweight.
All of them get a reasonable amount of exercise but it makes little difference when they’re eating almost 3000 calories a day. A few weeks ago I watched their school sports day and it was worrying how little they could run.
The 2 girls couldn’t even run 100m and had to walk the final part.
I told my mom she had to stop giving us so much unhealthy food but she snapped at me and said I should be grateful that she’s even letting us stay there.
I hate conflict so I ended up backing down but I feel really bad about the effect it’s having on my kids. Recently, the oldest one has been trying to avoid sport at all costs since she doesn’t enjoy it with the extra weight.
AITJ for bringing it up with my mom?”
25. AITJ For Refusing To Let My Kids Do Chores At My SIL's House We're Temporarily Staying At?
“My SIL lives in a fairly large 6bd farmhouse on 10 acres. We are building a home across the street and in the meantime, we have a camper parked on SILs property. The only time we go into her house is to use the bathroom or shower (we have electricity in the camper but no running water).
The rest of the time we are across the street building and our kids (14m, 12f, 8m) are with us helping. We pay SIL $180 a week to park our camper there, which is campground prices.
Late afternoon yesterday my SIL asked us to all come inside to talk and she pulls up her chore list, with my kids names added to it.
Things like laundry, dishes, cleaning the living room, sweeping, mopping, cleaning table + countertops, garbage, returnables, even helping cook meals (we do not eat with them), etc. She said “Does this work for you? I won’t let anyone clean the bathroom because I’m the only one who does it properly.” I immediately said no.
My kids don’t even go in her house unless they are showering or using the restroom so if anything, I’d make them clean the bathroom, not the rest of the house that they don’t use. I’m not going to be making them do chores to that extent for simply using the bathroom, after they’ve been helping us all day with building our home.
My SIL, who works all the time, says “the kids are in here much more than that because all my snacks are gone and I always come home to a trashed house and I didn’t before you guys started staying here”.
She’s clearly not putting two and two together with the fact that her own daughter (12) has had consistent friends over for the past 2 weeks since school let out and her husband (46m) does nothing to parent. Which I brought to her attention.
My kids don’t eat her food at all either. I’ve made a point to preach to my kids about minimizing our footprint here for this specific reason (her trying to blame my kids for her messy house).
My husband is saying that maybe I should just allow her to add the kids to one or two chores a week to keep his sister at bay but I’ve refused.
We pay to be here and we do not go indoors at all unless it’s for the bathroom, as I’ve stated. My kids are not going to be scrubbing her house top to bottom for using a restroom and I have since told my husband we need to create an outhouse system (on our property) so we don’t have to go in there at all. He says I’m making things more difficult when in reality, I’m protecting my kids from being used. AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Excluding My Neighbor From Activities Because She Always Brings Her Kids?
“Last month my old neighbors moved out and some new ones moved in. A couple in their late twenties with four small children. The wife is a SAHM and the husband is a trucker. I went to introduce myself and bring them a pie right after they moved in.
I didn’t really like their vibe but I’m a friendly person so I tried inviting the wife to things.
Our neighborhood is small, a collection of ten houses. Everyone knows everyone and is generally pretty friendly. No one else has young kids though.
It’s mostly couples with no kids, or older couples whose kids moved out. I hang out with two of my female neighbors who are a similar age to my own (mid twenties). We go on walks, have lunch at each others houses, etc.
I only work three days a week so I have a lot of free time.
I invited the new neighbor, Molly, to two different things. Lunch at my house and also a walk/hike me and the others were going on. Both time she just assumed she could bring her kids and showed up to my house with them.
I turned her away from lunch at my house because I don’t want four rowdy kids under the age of six in my not childproof house. She was upset because she has no one who can ever watch them, and she can’t come without them.
She did bring them on a walk with us but we couldn’t go in the forest because of her stroller so it kind of ruined things for us. There’s no trees or shade in the neighborhood and the summer heat makes it awful, the forest is much better.
Since then I’ve been avoiding Molly like the plague, I just don’t want to be her friend. She’s invited me over, asked to come over and bring her kids, she even asked me to watch her kids the other day so she can have a break.
I barely know the woman and I feel like her behavior is pretty inappropriate and she’s maybe just not picking up on social cues.
Today me and my other neighbors went for a walk in the forest, and she saw us go.
She texted me to ask why she wasn’t invited, and I said it’s because we don’t want our plans to be altered by her children, and she’s expressed that she can’t do anything without her children. She went on a rant about how it takes a village and we don’t understand what it’s like, and she called us all jerks.
I agree with her that I don’t understand what it’s like, because I would personally never choose to have four kids with an absent husband. I just feel like she’s being unreasonable to expect us to have a bad time just so she can have a good time. Her kids were super annoying and hard to deal with. My husband thinks she’s a jerk but my mom thinks I should be more sympathetic.
AITJ for excluding my neighbor from activities?”
23. AITJ For Choosing To Party In Miami Instead Of Attending My Brother's Wedding After Being Disrespected?
“My brother Tom (36m) and I (26f) have never had a really solid relationship, due to our age gap we didn’t spend much time and by the time I was old enough to develop a personality he was moved out of the house.
For the last two years my brother and his fiance Sarah (32f) have been planning their wedding. And it’s coming up in September. I was asked to be a bridesmaid. I figured I was only asked as a courtesy since I’m her soon to be sister in law but I still took it seriously.
I have been a bridesmaid for the last two years. Just a few weeks ago I managed to save up to buy the 800 dollar bridesmaid dress. Over all in the last two years between group outings to parties, dinners, lunches, clothes, etc… I spent thousands of dollars.
Eventually all the girls in the wedding and I became extremely close and I started to get hyped for the wedding.
Sarah recently got close with her brother’s wife Becky (30f). Last week she dropped the ball on me that she no longer wants me to be a bridesmaid and she would prefer if Becky would take my place.
It broke my heart a little but it’s her wedding and it’s not my place to tell her how to run it so I said it was fine. Yesterday I went to my brother’s house to pick up the bridesmaid’s dress, and was going to see if I could return it since it was within the time frame.
Sarah was completely appalled and said that Becky was going to wear it since she and I are the same size.
I said that would be fine, but they would have to pay me the 800 for it. Sarah said that Becky couldn’t afford and I should just be nice and let her use it and said that I could keep it after the wedding.
I explained that I’m not just giving away the dress, and I’m not ever going to use it after the wedding. After some bickering back and forth I just ended up taking it and leaving.
My brother and Sarah tried to compromise with me, and say I could be “the assistant flower girl” and I felt offended at the offer.
After I said no, they then said that Becky could give me 250 bucks for it. Again no and I returned the dress and got a full refund.
I told them I understand that it’s their wedding but they are being extremely disrespectful to me and I don’t need to deal with it and I’m not going to the wedding.
Today my coworker says she has an extra round trip plane ticket to go to Miami that she’ll sell to me for half price plus I would have to pay for half the hotel and I can go hang out with her in Florida. The only downside is that I’ll be in Florida for the week of my brother’s wedding.
So will I be the jerk if I just go party in Miami instead of going to my brother’s wedding?”
22. AITJ For Not Letting My Neighbors Park In My Lot During Road Repaving?
“I live on a county blacktop in a small town of 7k people. The county is planning on repaving our road. My 3 neighbors (4 houses on the block) have driveways that will be blocked by this process. I have the only garage in our alley and also have a gravel lot that could hold 6 cars. WIBTJ for not letting them park there even though I have room? I’m worried if something happens to a vehicle, i.e. break in, that I would be liable.”
21. AITJ For Not Letting My Younger Cousins Win at Mario Kart?
“I (17m) was recently over at my aunt and uncle’s house. They have two kids, my little cousins Willow (9) and Miles (6). My aunt recently bought a switch for the cousins, and they’ve been getting obsessed with Mario Kart.
Almost immediately, the cousins challenged me, my parents, and my sister to a race.
I had to go help my uncle with his car (I work part time at an auto shop and had promised to take a look at it) but said that I would be back to race once I was finished.
About thirty minutes later, I came back into the house and my cousins met me at the door to get me to race, it was adorable.
We sat down and played, and I smoked them. I’m not particularly good at Mario Kart, but I’ve been playing for a while and they just started playing two weeks ago. The cousins demanded a rematch and I obliged, then when I smoked them again, a re-rematch.
Several rounds and not a single victory later, Willow was in awe of my “epic skills”, but Miles started crying.
My aunt, having heard Miles crying, came in the room and I explained the situation. My aunt comforted Miles while my mom took me aside.
Apparently, there had been an unspoken agreement between my mom, aunt, and sister to go easy on my cousins and let them win. My mom called me a jerk for being “so mean” to my cousins. I told her that I didn’t know, and she called me an idiot because apparently it’s common knowledge to go easy on kids. I knew of no such common knowledge, but maybe I’m just a moron like my mom said. AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Not Letting My Kids See My Family Until They Accept My Husband's Younger Sister?
“My husband (32) and I (30) have 3 kids (f5, m3, f3 mo). My husband has a 10 year old sister that practically lives with us. We don’t have custody of her right now (we’re working on it) but we have her for up to two weeks at a time, she’ll go home for a couple days, then come back for 2 more weeks.
She has a room at our house and I consider her to be one of my kids. She is the sweetest kid. She never argues, never gets in trouble, absolutely no behavior issues. She’s just a little shy and stays close to us when we’re around unfamiliar people.
My family has been asking us to visit since we had my youngest but they don’t want my 10 year old there. I didn’t want to start any problems so I’ve been saying not now for the past 3 months but they were really pushing it the other day so I finally told them that we won’t be visiting until my 10 year old is invited AND made to feel welcome.
I’m not going to deal with nonsense like my bio kids getting presents and not my 10 year old or her sleeping on the couch when everyone else gets a bed.
They want us to compromise and send her to a sleep away camp so she’ll have fun and they don’t have to host her but I refuse.
It’s all or none. Now they’re saying I’m a bad mom to my bio kids for taking away their grandparents because they won’t accept a kid that’s not even ours as their grandchild.
I’m starting to second guess myself and wonder if I am wrong for not letting my kids see my family because they don’t accept my 10 year old.”
19. AITJ For Laughing At My Brother's "Loyalty" Tattoo?
“This is a pretty cut and dry scenario. My (32M) little brother (25M) has been in a string of relationships since he was young enough to know what relationships were. On several occasions, the relationships ended because he was caught being unfaithful with another girl (these are just the ones that I know about, there could be more).
In fact, his current partner (19F) was the ‘other woman’ from his previous relationship.
He (I’ll call him Danny) still lives with my parents and I headed over on the 4th for barbecue. When he reached out for a hug I noticed his arm was super red and he showed me his brand new tattoo that he had literally just gotten.
In huge words it said “LOYALTY” in cursive.
Where I might be the jerk – I kind of laughed as soon as I saw it and didn’t try to hide it at all (it wasn’t a dramatic laugh). He said what’s so funny and I just said his tattoo was really ironic.
He got upset and stormed off to his room and didn’t join my parents and I (+ our sister) for dinner.
I told them what happened and they said I was being a jerk, and my sister said people are allowed to change. I personally think he’s acting like a child by locking himself in his room and that I shouldn’t be blamed for a 25 yo storming off.”
18. AITJ For Not Baking Cupcakes For My Son's Bake Sale Because He Forgot?
“I got divorced a year ago, it was the best decision I ever made. I was basically a maid for the family, it was awful not to mention I was working at the same time.
Overall, it’s been a bit rough for the kids with the youngest being 14 and the oldest being 17.
They are doing well overall and we basically have a 50/50 split with custody. It’s wonderful to have “days off”, so much new free time when they are not home so I have been able to explore new hobbies.
So, I joined a models club, you build models and show them off, we meet once a month to show off our creations, I love it.
My 17 year old messed up this week, volunteered for a bake sale didn’t tell me and forgot to make cupcakes. I was about to leave for my meeting last night and he was panicking about not having it done. He asked me if I could do it and I told him no since I was leaving.
He was also leaving to hang out with his friend. This morning cupcakes were not made since I wasn’t doing it. We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. I wasn’t putting my life on hold for a simple mistake he did.
He left for his father’s and my ex also got in an argument with me about it and called me a jerk.
Thank you for all the feedback, I am trying to teach him the lesson I missed when married. Want more info on that, it is in a comment.
If anyone has any ideas, I’m open for advice, I’m running out of time before college and he is with the man he learned this behavior from half the time. The other two are willing to learn but he won’t give an inch.”
17. AITJ For Expecting Family To Babysit After Traveling To Visit Them?
“My husband and I were asked to visit our families in another state because we hadn’t see them in person for a few years. They mostly wanted to see our kids who are 1, 3 and 5.
My husband and I made plans to go out when we got back to our hometown.
Then we started texting people to see if they could babysit. Some didn’t understand why we were asking so I explained if we have to go through a tough time so people can see their nephews, grandsons, etc then yes they can all step up and give my husband some nights with just us.”
16. AITJ For Limiting My Nephew's Food Intake During His Visit?
“I (27m) have three of my nephews over for the weekend. They’re cool kids and I love having them over. However one of them, “Erik” (14m) has a gigantic appetite. Like, literally every time I see this kid he’s wolfing down food.
You wouldn’t think it because he’s super lank, but I guess he’s at that age where it’s normal, I’ve been there.
At dinner last night we had a nice meat loaf and some mac and cheese. I gave everyone big servings, and the other two kids were happy with it, but naturally Erik wanted more.
I told him he should probably just save room for dessert and he did. But he still wanted to eat another serving of dinner after dessert. I wanted to save some food for our dinner tomorrow, so I told him he couldn’t have anymore.
But my wife (26f) went over my head and told Erik he could have more if he wanted, and he went on to eat so much he almost instantly fell asleep on the couch, where my other nephews were playing video games.
It was overall a really good day but I was miffed that my wife went over my head over the food thing, and when we went to bed I told her I felt like what we’d served was reasonable. She argued that since Erik is a guest he can have as much food as he wants, and she can always buy more (she usually stocks the kitchen).
She thinks I’m being a jerk for thinking I can control how much we do or don’t serve and that it’s weird I would have told Erik he can’t have another serving without at least checking with her first.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Was I being the jerk? I think I was in the right, why not save some dinner. Erik already had a lot of food as it is.”
15. AITJ For Telling My Friend His Wife Left Him Because He Wasn't Contributing At Home?
“Mark and his wife are couple friends of my partner (F 29) and me (F 32)
About a year ago, Mark lost his job and hasn’t been able to find a new one until about a month ago. And I get the impression this job is not as lucrative as his previous job – but I’m not sure.
About three months ago, his wife left him. They have two kids, two and four. Anyway, me, my partner, Mark and a few other friends went out for a night.
He started by complaining his wife was a jerk because she left him because he was unemployed.
Except I know his wife wanted him to stop looking for FT jobs, and only look for jobs he can do from home – and they keep the two year old home from daycare to save money.
I told him that no, his wife probably left him because he hasn’t been doing his fair share in the house.
She’s been making jokes for ages about him “living like a teenager” until he has to pick up the kids at four (he then takes care of them until mom comes home/ they go to bed).
I also know she’s been wanting to get rid of their cleaner until he finds a job (my partner and I don’t have a cleaner, so the issue has come up).
He said no, she just lost respect for him because he wasn’t bringing in any money, and the rest was just excuses.
Anyway, we had a disagreement.
My partner thinks I was a jerk for getting involved + we really don’t know all the details.
The friends are split, some say it’s true, women always leave men when they stop providing and I wouldn’t understand because I’m a lesbian (edited, because apparently the word gay was too confusing).
Others think I was right, but I shouldn’t have gotten involved + it ruined the night out.
I think he needed a reality check.
Thoughts? AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Allowing My Little Sister To Wear A Princess Dress At My Wedding?
“I’m getting married soon and I want to have my little sister(9F) as my junior bridesmaid.
She is in love with princesses and anything princessy. She even has a very beautiful white princess dress that she has always wanted to wear. She asked me if she can wear it for my wedding and I said why not? Go ahead.
She looked so happy and she has been very excited especially because we let her buy high heels and my parents allowed her to wear make-up for my wedding.
When my fiancè found out he was against it. He argued that she shouldn’t wear a white princess dress for our wedding and how it’s “inappropriate”.
I told him that I don’t have a problem with it and I don’t think a kid is going to outshine me and asked him if he is worried that she will outshine HIM? He called me ridiculous and said since my sister can wear that then is it ok for his sisters to wear something like that? I told him that his sisters(F23, F21) are a bit old for that but sure why not? I could use a good laugh at my wedding. I told him he is acting crazy and he called me an idiot and he thinks since it’s “our” wedding, this should be “our” decision.”
13. AITJ For Buying My Husband His Own Fries After He Kept Taking Mine?
“AITJ for buying my husband his own fries?
I (28M) and my husband (28M) went to a local burger place this weekend for lunch after running errands. He didn’t want any fries, just a cheeseburger and a milkshake. I got a combo meal with fries and a soda.
I asked him if he’s sure and he says yes. We order, I pay, we sit down. Once we’re called up for our food and I come back with it, he almost instantly grabs one of my fries. I told him to knock it off and he kept taking fries and telling me he was only taking a few.
I got fed up, went up and paid for a small fry for him and sat back down. This was all done pretty abruptly and in silence. He muttered “Jesus” and asked me why I couldn’t have just shared. I told him because I wanted the amount of fries in a large fry and he insisted it was fine because he was only taking a couple, but I knew from past experience (about 50% of the time) he’d clear half my plate. I didn’t talk to him the entire car ride home and now he’s even angrier at me for giving him the cold shoulder. AITJ for not sharing my fries?”
12. AITJ For Wearing A Floral Dress To A Black-Theme Hen Party?
“Last week it was my (29F) friend’s (28F) hen party, the organisers requested we all wear black & the bride can wear something colourful of her choice & that way she stands out as the bride.
I wore a floral dress with a black background which I thought was perfectly on theme because it is black as the base, but when I got there everyone else was wearing all black only.
One of the girls in the group asked why I’m wearing florals when we’re supposed to wear black, I said my dress is still black too just with floral print. Then when we were having group photos taken one of the girls who organised it looked annoyed & said the photos look off as everyone is wearing full black & the bride is in the middle wearing colour but with a random floral print taking away attention.
Later I confided with another girl saying I don’t see why it was a big deal, it’s just a hen party & I didn’t think it needed to be that strict. She said it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it also wouldn’t have been a big deal for me to just wear black like instructed, that everyone owns black & it was chosen to make things easy but it seemed like I was being difficult for the sake of it by purposefully choosing a print.”
11. AITJ For Being Upset With My Bridesmaid's Inappropriate Dress At My Wedding?
“I, a 27-year-old female, got married to my husband, a 29-year-old male, last week. I asked my friend from university, Ava, a 26-year-old female, to be a bridesmaid. I grew up living with my parents and extended family quite religiously and dressed modestly as my family were very strict and traditional.
While I don’t agree with most of their ideas, I do follow them to avoid arguments. My parents don’t share the same ideas and are less religious and have always supported me, but do ask me to respect our extended family’s policies on dressing and culture.
Ava is a very passionate feminist and I know she wouldn’t agree with some of my family’s policies, which is why before the wedding I told her to please not say anything at the wedding and if it upsets her she can always stay closer to our group of friends.
She agreed and said she was coming to support me.
I picked peach as a dress colour for all my bridesmaids and told them to pick the style they felt comfortable in, as I didn’t specify a particular dress or shade of peach and gave them all 4 months notice.
I only asked for the dress to be modest as my wedding would include some of my extended family. Ava said she was getting her dress custom made and never showed me a picture as it was still getting made. At the wedding, she comes in wearing a very tight, revealing peach dress.
My MOH said she would handle it and kicked her out. Ava has said that the dress was her way of expressing herself. She is not talking to me anymore, but I genuinely don’t think I am in the wrong.”
10. AITJ For Making My Son Pay For His Own Movie Ticket When He Wanted To Watch A Different Film?
“I took my three kids to the movies with my husband. When we arrived, my oldest, 15, said he wanted to watch a different movie than the rest of the family. I said that was fine, and we would meet him at the ice cream place across the street (his choice would start and end later).
We started to split up, and then he said I forgot to give him money for a ticket.
I asked why I would give him money for a ticket. He said he needs the money to buy his ticket. I said he could use his own money.
He said that wasn’t fair, because I was going to buy a ticket for him before. I said I was going to buy tickets for the whole family for a family outing. If he’s doing his own thing, he needs to pay for it.
He said he didn’t want to pay and would just watch the same movie as the rest of us. He was grumpy afterwards, and my husband said I was petty. I don’t think it’s petty. I think it’s a life lesson. People are more than piggy banks.”
9. AITJ For Building a Backyard Den for My Teenage Sons Against My Ex-Wife's Wishes?
“My wife and I have 5 children together (9M, 8M, 7M, 4M, 2M) and I have 3 children with my ex-wife (17M, 15M, 13F). When I bought our current house, it had 4 bedrooms, I later renovated the basement to add another 2 bedrooms.
My wife and I have 1 room, the 3 teenagers had a room each, and the youngers boys share the other 2 rooms (with various configurations over the years). As the younger boys get older things are going to get more cramped for them and we haven’t ruled out having more kids.
I also don’t want to immediately take my older kid’s rooms away the second they go to college (and maybe they’ll stay local or no go at all), because of this I started looking at how I would add more bedrooms.
The property our house is on is a little under 1 acre. Last year I decided I would build a den in the backyard that could become the older boys’ bedrooms. The build was finished a few weeks ago and the boys have moved in.
They have a small shared living space that includes a kitchenette, a shared bathroom, and they each have their own rooms. It’s essentially a tiny house in our yard. They boys love it, and we had a lot of fun working on the build together.
My ex-wife, however, is less than pleased with the boys new living arrangements. She has multiple safety concerns as she thinks they are too far away if something happens and that they will feel like they could get away with whatever as I can’t monitor them well.
She also thinks it’s unfair they will have to walk through a yard to get to and from their bedrooms to the house even in adverse weather conditions. She feels as though I’m pushing the boys away by housing them in the backyard and that it suggests I’m prioritising my new family, while at the same time thinking giving them a cool den in the backyard is favoring them over their sister.
I think her biggest issue is the one she didn’t mention, which is worrying the boys will want to spend even more time at my house if they have more privacy and great place to hang with their friends. We no longer split custody based on our custody agreement and for the last few years the boys have lived the majority of the time with me, where as our daughter alternates between our houses every 2 weeks.
My ex is trying to make it out like I’m a massive jerk in this situation, but I really don’t feel like I am. However, in the past I haven’t always known when I have been a jerk so maybe I’m missing something. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit My Niece Despite My Brother's Difficult Situation?
“I (29M) have a brother (27M) who has a 4 year old daughter. His daughter’s mom passed away due to birth complications and he’s been raising her mostly alone ever since. Recently he asked me if I could babysit her for the night so he could go on a social outing, but I refused because I’m not experienced with kids and frankly, because I simply don’t want to babysit.
My brother kept insisting saying that he’s too tight with finances to pay for a babysitter, but I kept refusing to do it. However one day at around 7 PM I suddenly hear a girl knocking at my door and there was my niece while my brother was nowhere to be found.
I let her in my room and then I started calling him multiple times, but he wouldn’t pick up any of my calls. After half an hour I ended up sending him a message that if he doesn’t come back in 15 minutes then I’ll report him to the police for child abandonment.
He came back after 20 minutes, but luckily for him I didn’t call the police yet. He was absolutely furious with me and started berating me literally in front of his daughter, but I eventually made him leave my house with my niece.
However afterwards he kept sending me messages about how I failed as both a brother and an uncle, that I proved to my niece that I don’t love her and see her as a burden and that I couldn’t even allow him this night of fun when he hadn’t been intimate since his daughter was born, but I messaged him that the last thing is his problem, not mine, and so he needed to figure it out on his own instead of pining on me against my will.
However this only got him to send even more venomous messages. My partner however thinks that I’m acting like an jerk to him and that we could’ve taken care of my niece for this night without creating a scene.
AITJ for not having much sympathy for my brother’s situation and not wanting to babysit his daughter.”
7. AITJ For Refusing To Put My Shoes On In The Car?
“I was wearing high heels all day so my feet were killing me by the time we were driving home so I took my shoes off and sat cross-legged on the seat. My feet weren’t touching anybody but my brother-in-law was sitting next to me and turned it into a big deal because apparently my feet are so gross to him.
He told me to put my feet down and put my shoes on. I refused so he claimed my feet stunk, which was a blatant lie. He did eventually back down on me putting my shoes back on but he still wanted me to take my feet off the seat.
Nobody else had an issue with how I was sitting and it wasn’t my brother-in-law’s car so I got annoyed and told him to walk if he had a problem since I felt like he was just trying to embarrass me at that point.
I think he got angry because I told him to walk because he started arguing with me even more and was getting louder and louder about it too. It got to the point where my husband and mother-in-law both had to tell him to shut up.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Being Upset When My Husband Orders DoorDash Without Asking Me?
“My hubby works from home with me. He orders food from DoorDash without asking me if I want anything. I am working away on my laptop and food magically appears at the door just for him. I have told him before that I think that this is inconsiderate. He doesn’t think anything of it. I would never order food to be delivered without asking him. He thinks I am just overreacting. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Making A Joke About My Friend's Pregnancy Announcement?
“My friend Alice (fake name) (32F) and her husband have been trying for a baby for about 3 years. I (29F) am childfree but this has never caused a problem in my relationship with Alice. We would often joke about this difference, with me telling her stuff like she’ll miss all the disposable income when she has kids and her comparing my dog to a human kid.
Neither of us got offended with this joking and it was all in good fun.
On Friday, Alice, a couple other friends, and I went out to lunch and Alice told us that she was 3 months pregnant. I jokingly said, “I’m so sorry.
Let me know if you need a ride to the clinic.” Alice flipped out and called me an insensitive jerk. I told her that I was joking but she wouldn’t hear it and she ended up leaving. She hasn’t responded to my texts and calls ever since.
Our other friends are staying out of it and don’t want to give their opinions. I understand that my comment would come off as rude if I said it to a stranger but Alice knows me and this is how we joke with each other. AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Refusing To Finish My Partner's Visual Novel Game?
“My (27) partner(24) has been working on a visual novel game as a side project for almost 2 years and recently finished it. She wanted me to play it but I initially declined since I’m not into visual novels or reading long stories but after she pleaded, I gave it a try and played for a good 15 mins.
Now I can tell she put in a lot of effort in the writing and the art and it was a good start but I just got tired of reading and stopped. She asked what I thought and wanted me to eventually finish it and tell her what I thought about the choices and the endings but I told her I had no plans to.
She looked shocked and asked if it was boring, I told her no, it’s just that I’m just not into this type of genre and she knows I’m not into reading but asked me to make an exception this time since she made it.
I got upset because I think she is being childish and wants to manipulate me into doing something I don’t want. After I made it clear I wasn’t continuing, she hasn’t talked to me. I already know that she is talented and smart so just because I don’t want to play it doesn’t mean I don’t support her. Some of my friends agree she’s being immature but others think I should be more supportive. So AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Making My Partner Prove His Tech Knowledge And Laughing When He Couldn't?
“My partner(29M) and I(28F) met in the same company. I since left but he’s still there. He makes about $130k in tech sales. I make $180k as a cloud architect. He likes to complain because his commission compensation was reduced and the pre sales engineers got a raise.
I know it’s because a lot of sales people were writing really aggressive contracts that led to unhappy customers and now the guidelines for sales has made it harder to make sales. My partner use to make $40k more so he’s a bit upset about that although to me it’s just the natural downturn in the tech sector.
He was talking negatively about how all presales engineers do is talk about products on PowerPoint and don’t do any actual work that makes the customer sign. I got annoyed because he doesn’t know anything about tech and most presales engineers I use to work at had 4-8 years of software development experience not to mention very specific training on the products before they got to be making that salary.
I have 2 years of support experience 3 years of software dev experience before I made 180k and my partner only has sales experience so to discount with how much knowledge is needed is pretty poor. He said he knows some coding and could take their jobs.
I told him since he thinks he knows their role he should be able to pass a junior coding interview and technical questions. He agreed and said loser pays for dinner and I agreed. I got some interview questions and coding questions like fizz buzz and hash map coding questions.
He couldn’t answer a single question not even things like what’s a difference between Java and Python, explain what the OSI layers are, what caching is and the craziest one is what’s the difference between SAAS and IAAS which he definitely should know because he is selling SAAS products.
I had 10 very basic questions and he couldn’t answer a single one. He also did make any of the code run.
He was upset and argued with me the entire time but I googled things to prove he wasn’t right he would sulk and didn’t pay to dinner.
I was kind of bitter he didn’t pay for dinner and when a friend of his came over a week later I told him about it and we had a good laugh because he always likes to complain how easy engineers have it while he has to travel and boasts how he could do their jobs easily. He was there and yelled at me later for humiliating him.”
2. AITJ For Suggesting My Sister and Her Fiancé Get a DNA Test Because They Share the Same Last Name?
“My sister (26f) is engaged to her fiancé (30M) and getting married later this year. They both have the same last name. She was excited by this idea because then she won’t have to change her last name when they get married.
I have been a little bit concerned because my family comes from a small rural county in our state, and his family comes from the next county over. Our state also has a history of polygamy… and large families.
At our most recent family get together, I suggested (not for the first time) that they get a DNA test to make sure they aren’t related.
At first no one said anything and everyone just sat in awkward silence. Then my dad chimed in and said “We can just wait until the babies come out, and see if they are cross eyed or not”. I laughed at his joke, and my sister said that our last name is one of the most common last names in the state.
It’s not, but it is a common last name. I said that they still should check to be sure. At this point, she told me to shut up and the conversation was over because nobody wants to deal with her. The wedding is in less than three months, and she wants a baby yesterday.
AITJ for suggesting they get a DNA test? Or do you agree that it should be a concern?”
1. AITJ For Telling Off Dog Owners At A Dog-Friendly Restaurant?
“Went to a brewery restaurant with my wife. Our name was called and to get to our table indoors we had to cut through the patio. We got stopped for a few moments behind a table leaving and saying goodbye. In those moments, a lab type dog gets up and starts sniffing my ankles.
I look at the owners and say what the heck? and point at the dog. They just say the classic line of “oh don’t worry, he’s friendly”. I admit I was a touch rude, I just say, “I’m not friendly”. They pull the dog back under the table.
They start saying if you aren’t friendly you shouldn’t be coming to a dog friendly restaurant. I tell them just because the place is dog friendly doesn’t mean that its okay for your dog to come up to me. I don’t want it in my personal space.
They seem baffled that someone didn’t like their dog. He called me an jerk and told me to find somewhere else to walk. I say get lost as we head to our table. My wife was like you’re right, but could have been friendlier. Was I the jerk?”
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